Dr. Laura said what???

[salmoneous]

Personally, I don't want to speculate about the Splitzer's marriage. But I was surprised at how few DIS posters put blame on the wife.

I expected the phrase "home cooking" to come up much more often...

 

[kimluvswdw]

Great, one more thing that a woman is blamed for.

 

[NY Disney fan]

How Dr. Laura met her husband:


While working at USC, she met Dr. Lewis G. Bishop, who was married with dependent children. According to divorce filings, Schlessinger and Bishop began an affair. Bishop left his wife after more than 20 years of marriage, and moved in with Schlessinger. They lived together as an unmarried couple, and Schlessinger tried to get pregnant after reversing an earlier tubal ligation and suffering an ectopic pregnancy. They married in early 1985, eight years after beginning their relationship, and Bishop became Schlessinger's business manager. Schlessinger bore their only child, Deryk Schlessinger, in November 1985, when she was 38.

 

[Carly_Roach]

As far as I am concerned, it isn't all about the sex, but that the sex represents a feeling of intimacy and closeness.

From a woman's POV, this is a true statement. I believe for men it's more of a body function than intimacy and closeness. Maintenance sex, if you will.

Women have to be "in the mood" to desire sex. Men just have to be breathing.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Are you kidding me? Do you know HOW Dr. Laura met her husband? She had an AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN W/CHILDREN. He left his wife for her. Dr. Laura HAS to defend the wayward spouse because anything else would be unthinkable (in her eyes). She's a crackpot.

Take a deep breath. I'm not talking about Dr Laura, but about what she SAID.

 

[Sandy V.]

Women have to be "in the mood" to desire sex. Men just have to be breathing.

Or, as Billy Crystal said in City Slickers, "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

 

[Sandy V.]

If the Governor were a woman who had relations w/a male prostitute, do you think Dr. Laura would be saying "It's the man's fault if his spouse looked for sex outside of their marriage."? Yeah, I didn't think so. Dr. Laura would be calling her a ... well ... I can't type what she'd be called b/c it would be censored so let's just suffice to say it rhymes with bore.

Let's face it ... Spitzer wasn't looking for intimacy. If he were, he would've had an affair not hired a prostitute. He wanted sex - sex w/o intimacy. He hired "Kristen" for a job that he could've done w/his hand. An affair is work and requires intimacy. A prostitute requires only cash. He wanted to dip his wick w/o intimacy and the effort of a relationship and the prostitute was the best way to get it.

If a woman is supposed to put her husband and his needs first, then shouldn't the husband put his wife and her needs first as well? I mean, we are living in the 21st century not the stone age! What about Spitzer's wife's needs? Do you think he put her or her needs first? Did she need this humiliation? Instead of embarrassing her, he could've met his personal needs w/his hand.

Chances are, most men will say that they're not satisfied w/their sex life ... but a majority of women will say that they are. Go figure! Just the other day, they ran an ad for that new Newlywed show on ABC. The host asked this one couple "How many times a week is considered enough?" The man said something like 92 and the woman said "2".

This is not so nice and it is totally MY opinion, but I told my DH the other day after watching Spitzer at his initial press conference that there's a pretty simple reason why Spitzer PAID for high class call girls. To me, he's not very handsome at all. If he wanted that kind of attractive tail, that was going to be the only way he was going to get it.

 

[JR6ooo4]

yeah and I guess women who get hit by their men are asking for it !!!

And those people that get hit by cars, it is their fault as well. Mostly because of how they were dressed! They were asking for it!

Mikeeee

 

[NY Disney fan]

What's the difference?

 

[cccm]

Yes I do not put my husband first, I am willing to admit that. I put my daughter first.

That does not mean my husband is looking outside of our marriage, it just means that both of us have our priorities straight.

 

[sassyat30]

Yes I do not put my husband first, I am willing to admit that. I put my daughter first.

That does not mean my husband is looking outside of our marriage, it just means that both of us have our priorities straight.

Interesting.

In our house, the priority is our marriage...and no, that doesn't mean our children are neglected or any such nonsense like that.

It means we were a couple before we had children, and we nurture our marriage so we remain a couple once our children are grown and gone.

Our children know that Mom and Dad love each other and sometimes, they don't come first.

 

[salmoneous]

: To me, he's not very handsome at all. If he wanted that kind of attractive tail, that was going to be the only way he was going to get it.

Don't forget, he's really, really rich. Those guys don't seem to have trouble attracting leggy supermodels.

 

[adkkev]

From a woman's POV, this is a true statement. I believe for men it's more of a body function than intimacy and closeness. Maintenance sex, if you will.

Women have to be "in the mood" to desire sex. Men just have to be breathing.

this is such a ridiculous generalization ... and it's actually quite sad if it's your POV.

 

[disneyfan67]

Every situation is different, but if a spouse ignores their mate's needs, be they sexual, emotional, or whatever, I can see where that might be a reason some stray.

As much as I fear the flaming I will receive from agreeing with you, I have seen some real life experiences that have confirmed some of what Dr Laura is saying.

It's not an excuse, nor am I defending Spitzer's actions. What he did was wrong, stupid, and illegal. I have seen though over the years by watching and listening to my buddies and male coworkers that all seem to have the same complaints. They all seem to be dissatisfied with the lack of sex and the current state of the relationship they have with their wife. I bet you I have seen at least 6 marriages of friends that I knew over the years to end due to both people just "checking out" of their commitment. I have never strayed in my marriage, but known many men who have. It all seems to come down to sex, at least that's what they told me.


I know from 11 years of marriage that some things change and with the addition of children, multiple things going on at once, etc, that sex becomes almost a chore for some. I think a lot of women have to realise that a lot of men don't stop thinking about it just because they get older, etc. Just Google escort services in your area. Take a look a Craigslist and read some of the casual encounters and erotic services offered, it's beyond shocking what's out there. Plus look at the multi billion dollar sales of E.D medications. Someone has to be buying all that Viagra and Cialis, not that it's me.

I'm not defending anyone who cheats because it's wrong. Period. I'm just pointing out that sometimes there's a cause for it, right or wrong.

 

[shelby22]

What's the difference?

I don't know it it's what Zip ment, but I don't always say now what I did back then. I would never condone most of the stuff I've done in the past and in fact teach my kids the opposite. I suppose that would make me a hypocrite unworthy of telling you "hey, maybe this is why such & such won't work". I like to think life experience (which Dr Laura certainly has) should give you some perspective. Is she currently doing any of the things she tells others probably aren't such a good idea?

 

[Sandy V.]

Don't forget, he's really, really rich. Those guys don't seem to have trouble attracting leggy supermodels.

Oh, I realize he's got the $$$, but he skeeves me out. Many of the women I work with agree with me. I think he'd have to work harder than most to get one of those supermodels!

 

[Sandy V.]

I like to think life experience (which Dr Laura certainly has) should give you some perspective. Is she currently doing any of the things she tells others probably aren't such a good idea?

I'm certainly not attacking you, but HOW would any of us know what Dr. Laura is or isn't doing in her life now? A week ago, no one certainly thought that Spizter was playing not so ethical games in funding offshore accounts and losing his security detail at the Mayflower Hotel to go visit "Kristen" in another room.

It just angers me that the resignation ink isn't dry yet on the gubenatorial papers, and the wagging fingers start pointing at the wife already.

The Dr. Lauras of this world are exactly the ones who need to exercise caution in judgment and criticism because of their own highly suspect past personal behavior. But, more often than not, these hypocrites simply cannot.

 

[disneyfan67]

Oh, I realize he's got the $$$, but he skeeves me out. Many of the women I work with agree with me. I think he'd have to work harder than most to get one of those supermodels!

If Spitzer was a working class Joe there's no way he would have gotten the wife he did or be able to score with any of the women he paid for. He isn't attractive by any means and he does look skeevy, IMO. The guy looks like he's the type to be trolling for sex online and the one you fear your children don't meet in a chat room. Sorry, that how I see him.

Lets be honest here. Money paints everything in an attractive light. Spitzer came from a very wealthy family, went to great private schools, and became a powerful man. He had a heck of a foot in the door, most men who look like him, don't get. I bet the sense of entitlement he felt and his ego was off the chart.

 

[Buckalew11]

This is not so nice and it is totally MY opinion, but I told my DH the other day after watching Spitzer at his initial press conference that there's a pretty simple reason why Spitzer PAID for high class call girls. To me, he's not very handsome at all. If he wanted that kind of attractive tail, that was going to be the only way he was going to get it.

I respectfully disagree. He has enough $$$ that he doesn't need to be handsome. Look at Donald Trump and others like him. They are ugly men and still women are with them.

I think it is exactly as Daxx said, he wanted sex with no intimacy and no relationship to put effort into.

I think Dr. Laura is full of it. There are times I think she says the right thing but there are other times she will not even hear details w/o forming her own opinion. I think her opinion is strictly coming from her experiences. Her DH committed adultery with her and this is her justifying those actions. it was all his ex-wife's fault.

 

[flipflop]

Seems like Dr. Laura would probably fall into the "women who wear short skirts are asking to be raped" camp.

If a man (or woman) needs to the feel excitement/thrill/risk that sleeping with a prostitute may provide (wouldn't know first hand) and that man is married - he should end his marriage and then go pay $5000 for unprotected sex. Spitzer's actions are repulsive even if his wife hasn't had sex with him in years.