Dr. Laura said what???

[Handbag Lady]

I came on here to read what hideousness spewed out of that banshee's mouth. She's insane and rides her high horse and I can't stand it.

I work next to a lady who listens to Dr. Freak every day. I had to tell her to make it go away. The things she says and how unhelpful she is to most of her callers shocks me.

 

[disneyfan67]

We always hear about what men are lacking when there is a intimacy issue in a marriage. In every marriage I have known where men were dissatisfied with their sex life, the men were not putting very much energy into the relationship, period.

I ask disgruntled husbands this: If you went to a bar to get sex, how would you have to treat a woman to get her to want to go home with you? (or any other example of how you would go about getting a woman to want to have sex with you, just using a bar pickup as an example) Are you treating your wife like a woman you would like to go home with?

If you are upset because you are not getting enough sex and you are not putting more emotional effort into your marriage than simply going to work and coming home every night,(which many men think is all it really takes to be a great husband) you are guilty of cutting your nose off and calling it someone else's crime.

I definitely buy "I was not getting enough sex, she refused to work on/talk about the relationship and that is why I asked for a divorce"...but cheating is equals "She stopped being easy to get in bed, I didn't feel like dealing with the marriage so I took the lazy way by chasing someone else (or paying for sex)"

I just wanted to add a quick comment to your post before I head off to my busy work day. I don't agree with what Spitzer did and there should be no excuse for bad behavior. I'm a person who tends to see some things from both sides and I feel that there are times that the truth can be found in the middle. I can't speak for all men on why some cheat and it's a complicated issue. I was just giving you my personal perspective that I have seen over the years. I have found that some men are almost like animals in heat when it comes to sex and have seen some pretty wild examples in my life time. As I said before Google "escort services" and read some of the reviews posted by the men who use them. It gives you an insight to what's going on and it's a eye opener. One of my former friends goes to a site called TER and he used to talk about it all the time and how great it was. It was his life, his business, and I stayed out of it.

A lot of men like Spitzer use hookers because they have some kinky desires they don't get to practice at home. They also use them because it's no strings attached and no emotional involvement. It's different from meeting a girl at the bar because no one in their right mind wants to used and discarded. Unless of course they do that type of thing for a living and are well paid for it.

I have never cheated on my wife in the almost 11 years of marriage and to me a promise made, is a promise kept. Have my wife and I had difficulties over the years? Yes, but we worked through them and I pushed hard at times to make sure it didn't fail. I didn't want to stray or be with other women and I told her when I felt things were getting off track. My DW knows that she's my wife, my equal partner and best friend. She also knows my limits and what I'll put up with. I told her that I would rather live alone than to be a in a lifeless, sexless marriage. We as a couple will do what it takes to insure this never happens. My goal is when I leave this earth and I'm lying on my deathbed, my wife will be at my side holding my hand. Promise made, promise kept.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I think people probably cheat for all sorts of reasons--just like they do other things that hurt their partners and endanger their careers for all sorts of reasons. Because it's fun. Because they're on a power trip. (This would be my guess for why politicians seem to cheat so often!) Out of spite. Because their seeking something they aren't getting in the relationship. Because they like the danger. Because they don't really believe in monogamy and should never had made a promise to be monogamous. Because it makes them feel good about themselves. Because it impresses their friends. Because they think the grass is greener.

I have a very distant relative who had a situation similar to Spitzer's. There were no big marital issues (at least not that ever were mentioned to the rest of the family)--it was just your normal going on 30 years marriage. Everything was totally normal until one day the husband sat the wife down and said, "Honey, last month I had sex with a hooker. I don't know why I did it. I was just driving by her on the street and I just did." The whole family is still completely puzzled over that one.

Originally Posted by Daxx Chances are, most men will say that they're not satisfied w/their sex life ... but a majority of women will say that they are. Go figure! Just the other day, they ran an ad for that new Newlywed show on ABC. The host asked this one couple "How many times a week is considered enough?" The man said something like 92 and the woman said "2".

I think it's more complicated than that. My partner and I are both women, but we would have given extremely different answers just like they did. (Okay, neither of us would have said anything like 92. I mean, if that guy can manage anything like 92 times a week in addition to sleeping, eating, bathing, bathroom, work, etc. I feel really bad for his wife.)

Originally Posted by Carly Roach
From a woman's POV, this is a true statement. I believe for men it's more of a body function than intimacy and closeness. Maintenance sex, if you will.

Women have to be "in the mood" to desire sex. Men just have to be breathing.

Originally Posted by Carly Roach
Like it or not, *BOOM* there it is. Anyone who thinks differently is either fooling themselves or listening to the romantic lies that their man tells them in order to (survey says) get sex.

Thanks for your insight. I'll alert all of my female friends that all of the casual sex they've had with people who's last names they didn't know was really completely about intimacy and closeness--and they only think otherwise because men have lied to them to get them into bed. (That's kind of funny since half of them are lesbians. )