
I felt so good yesterday morning, so centered and on track, so ready and able to face the world and anything that might come my way. I got a lot accomplished in the morning at work but started lagging by afternoon. By last evening it all fell to pieces and resulted in me sitting on my butt and eating junky food. I have a project at work that is causing me much anxiety. After nearly a week off work, I felt wonderful. After a few hours at work, all that anxiety has returned. I can't live like this. I wanted to cry this morning when I thought about coming into work. This isn't healthy or productive.
Well, I am ever the optimist so I'm going to try to sort through this again. I am going to write down the SPECIFIC thiings and issues about this project that are bothering me. Then I'm going to try to address them one by one. Hopefully, instead of feeling general anxiety, I can contain it to anxiety about a couple specific concrete things that either can be tackled or that I cannot change and must just accept.
I also realize that I am within the DZone and any anxiety I feel during this time seems to hit me harder than at any other time of the month. Therefore, even though I may sense that the sky is falling, some of that general anxiety is hormone related and doesn't need to be taken as seriously. Yes, I can feel it and acknowledge it, but I don't necessarily have to act on it since it will go away on its own in another week or so.
Prayer is also part of my strategy. I am spending time throughout the day to hand this over to God. I must confess though that this doesn't seem to be helping me as much as I would like. Not sure if I just don't have enough faith or if the DZone hormone thing still makes me feel anxious in spite of prayer. Who knows.

However, I'm still going to continue this, and trust that He is listening and has a plan. I hope that having me feel anxious for an extended period of time is NOT part of that plan and I have told Him so.

Hey, even God has to have a sense of humor, right?
Sorry for the ramblings but I just need to sort this out.
I'm not giving up. I just can't. I'm going to do what I can today.
1. Devotions - as soon as I submit this journal entry and before I do anything else.
2. Meds & vitamins - will be taken with breakfast.
3. Water - started my first mug.
4. Healthy eating - this will be a tough one but I brought my food with me so the odds are in my favor.
5. Exercise - I didn't walk last night and I KNOW I should but I just don't feel like it. We'll see.