Doreen's New Way of Life (comments are welcome)

[ZerasPride]

Hi Doe!

I'm dropping by to see how you are doing and as usual your journal entries have something to teach me! How true of me that when I'm at work and have a project I'd rather not work on, I tend to read journals and do other on-line stuff knowing I have work related projects that need my attention. Thanks for the reminder.

I also like the fact that you will be journaling not only all the food you eat but WHY you are eating it. Very good way to see what the real motivation behind unscheduled eating truly is.

You started the stay off the scale challenge a whole week early? Good for you!!! I hope we both do well with this challenge! Take care and have a sunny Wednesday!

 

[septbride2002]

Why have you been avoiding work. Now Doe (make way for Mom Amanda) you did so well yesterday concentrating on your report - with that taken care of you should be in the okay zone. Take deep breaths and concentrate on one thing at a time.

~Amanda

 

[LAinSEA]

Doe:

That is so great that you are playing tennis with your daughter. Great exercise and now it will be an activity that you and she will share for a long long time.

You sound like you are doing great staying on plan and meeting your goals. Stay away from that EVM! Pick up some drawer snacks instead and drop those coins into the vacation fund!

-Laurie

 

[DoeWDW]

Yesterday was a destructive eating day. Looking back over what I ate and why, it is so clear that I spiraled out of control. I am truly my own worst enemy.

I definitely have a real problem with procrastination and with doing all I can to avoid tasks I'm uncomfortable with. This report at work falls under that category.

I am supposed to be using my expertise and research to make recommendations on where my organization should go next in terms of data warehousing (an area within the IT / computer realm). I am uncomfortable with this for several reasons.

First of all, I am the only person in my agency who has had any training or experience with data warehousing. I feel very inadequate to set future direction and lay out plans for getting there. However a consultant would take 6 months to gather the same knowledge I already have of the organization - we don't have that kind of time to wait. So I really am the only person who can do this in the required timeframe.

Second of all, I am going to make some recommendations that will not be popular. Our organization is not equipped to embark on a full-blown data warehousing effort. We are lacking some key foundation pieces (like a centralized data administration function) and we are lacking a culture that sees data as belonging to the whole agency rather than to the business area that enters that data. Of course once I say that, the next question will be "how do we change those things" and the answer from me will be "I don't know but it will take time". These are not things that change overnight and there is no clear progression of how to change them, at least in my mind.

Writing all this out is helping me but I apologize to anyone else trying to follow along. I suppose what I need to focus on is the short term - what can we accomplish in the next year or two, given our culture and organizational limitations. Also what steps can we take to make sure that effort is not wasted in the long term - we won't want to re-do it down the road if/when our organization and culture DOES move in the right direction.

I think I was just making the scope of my report too large. I need to pare it down to what I put in the paragraph above. Also, I have to remember that I am not the one making the ultimate decision. Even though my recommendations will be given a lot of weight within the organization, I will not be the one committing people, time and money to this effort. If what I have to say doesn't make sense or resonate with clarity and realism, then the powers that be will hopefully recognize that and deal with it accordingly - get another opinion, etc.

All I have to do is my best. This is not a report that will be used to make a life or death decision. This is a well-reasoned attempt on my part to use what I know to say how I'd move forward in the next 12 - 24 months if I were the one in charge. That's all anyone is expecting of me.

OK, I think I'm ready to write another section of this report. My due date for the whole thing is close of business on Tuesday the 13th - next week. I just have to keep myself from getting overwhelmed and from making the scope of my effort too big.

I'll know if I'm on the right track by my food choices.

I've printed out the above information and will use it to guide me today. I'll reread it if I become uncomfortable, start craving nasties and start avoiding my work. I've got to stay focused and to do that, I've got to stay comfortable and not get overwhelmed or frightened of failure.

The good news - I got a new pedometer last night. I've got it on and I'm excited to start adding up those steps today!

I'll start another post for my food for the day - I've gotten awfully wordy!

 

[DoeWDW]

Water total so far: 48 oz

8 AM
apple with peanut butter
meds & vitamin

10:30 AM
1 string cheese
1 Gas-X tablet (TMI??)

12:45 PM
1/2 pound sirloin burger (no bun) w/ "secret sauce"
- my secret sauce is lots of mayo with a drop or two of mustard and a drop or two of ketchup, just for flavor

2 PM
1 peanut M&Ms
1 Hershey bar with almonds
- definitely BMR (Big Monster Report) related stress eating but I'm OK with that as long as I get the report done

8 PM
1/2 bbq chicken breast w/ bacon & cheese
1/2 baked sweet potato
small portion of spaghetti w/ parmesan cheese
- no binging - I felt pretty relaxed!

 

[septbride2002]

No wonder you feel overwhelmed! That is a big report you are working on sweetie. But ya know what - you can do it. You are really great at your job and they wouldn't have asked you to make these reccomendations if they didn't think you were the best person to do it. And your right - you can make the best reccomendations but it is up to them to make the final decision. Just do the best you can (which will probably be more then enough) and take it slow and steady. When you start to feel overwhelmed take a step back and clear your head of all the self doubts and focus on some positive thoughts.

You Can do this!
You are up to the Task!
You are a hardworking individual!
You know what you are doing!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

OK it's almost 11 AM and I have successfully avoided doing ANYTHING on my report - can't I just DIS all day????

Seriously, I am closing this window and I'm only coming back to post food.

I WILL BE WORKING ON MY REPORT NOW!


EDIT: 11:50 AM
I've gotten a good solid hour of work in - YAY! I'm feeling better - not quite so overwhelmed. Thanks for cheering me on, Amanda!

 

[lulu202]

Wow! Do you have a lot on your mind or what?!?! You've got tons of mental energy invested in this report and you want to do a good job--no wonder you procrastinated a bit. Here's a hug, dear WISH-sis.

Promise me that sometime today you'll pause and take some deep breaths. You'll drink a tall, cool glass of water and reread what you wrote and printed from your earlier post. You'll remember all of us WISHers who love you and are thinking about you as you sort through your thoughts and write this monster report (hereafter known as the BMR--bit monster report). At the end of the day, before you go home, you'll have another cool glass of water and shake off the dust from all this BMR work, and you'll clear your head for a relaxing evening at home.

You can do this. You're not alone.

Erin

 

[Strings]

Doe,

I know this is a daunting task, but obviously your company believes you are up to it. I do too. You stated yourself that you have the knowledge. You are used to responsibility, you are a mom. Your ideas may not be popular, but they are necessary. Management always needs a kick in the behind to realize they need change. In the end they will be thankful for your honest report. Do your best, and that is enough.

Please know that I am praying for you. I know this next week will be very difficult for you. Try to leave the report at the office. Try to get adequate sleep and go for your walks with your puppy. Read if that relaxes you. If necessary have a margarita. try to take care of you. We will be here to listen and you on.

Remember you are a .
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

Thank you, Erin and Beth! Instead of working through lunch, I got something to eat and took a walk to clear my head. I've just re-read my earlier ramblings and I'm working on another wonderful cool glass of water. I can feel all my WISH buddies around me and it's great to know that work is just work - not my entire life. My life is filled with wonderful people who are all cheering me on. I feel like I've put things back into perspective!

I'm ready to tackle another piece of my BMR (Big Monster Report )!

 

[myhandd]

Good luck Doe! It seems sometimes that reports take on a life of their own and can be very demoralizing at times. Don't let it get you down!

Think how great it will be to be complete with it!

Dax

 

[lulu202]

STRIKE UP THE BAND because it's FRIDAY!
Let's dance some calories away, dear WISH-sis!

Get that BMR started right now and then FORGET ABOUT IT for the weekend! Are you able to leave a little early today? Whatever your plans, have a great day, sweetie.

to you. Treat yourself right!

Erin

 

[CheapMom]

Have a great weekend Doreen-
Wishing you lots of quality R&R!
Mary

 

[DoeWDW]

I made it through the workday with some help from medicinal chocolate yesterday. I'm OK with it though and may do the same this afternoon if I feel I need it, guilt free. Once this report is finished, then I won't need to indulge anymore.

My pedometer had approximately 7200 steps on it for yesterday.

Today - more work on the BMR (big monster report ).

Water so far: 40 oz

8:15 AM
about 1.5 scrambled eggs & 4 slices bacon
meds & vitamin
- I'm feeling a little anxious about the BMR and I looked at all the carby stuff in the cafeteria, but in the end I went with low-carb and I'm proud of that!

12:15 PM
1/2 pound sirloin burger w/ secret sauce & no bun

1:30 PM
1 pack peanut M&Ms
- This was not a binge OR anxiety driven, I was in a meeting and my blood sugar must have been awfully low because I was falling asleep. I ate these very slowly.

 

[wilderness01]

Oh my that does sound like a big project. Think of how good you are going to feel when it is completed. Good luck with your work today.

 

[septbride2002]

Good Morning Doe! Thanks for chatting with me last night and helping me to get some things off my chest. It felt good to get some things out in the open so that I could examine them better.

Have you been watching DS's flight this morning?

Have a great day at working looking busy!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

For those who don't know, my DS is on his way home from a 3 week trip to Australia and New Zealand. His flight from Christchurch NZ to Auckland NZ went smoothly. His flight from Auckland to Los Angeles left on time and is in the air now - he should be landing in LA in 2-3 hours.

Then there's a flight from LA to Pittsburgh and another from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia, and a bus ride from the Philly airport to Lancaster where we'll pick him up around 2 AM tonight.

Gee, do you think he'll be tired???

EDIT: 3:10 PM
The flight from Auckland to LA arrived an hour late but they still had 2 hours to change planes in LA. The next flight from LA to Pittsburgh is scheduled to leave on time at the moment

 

[Strings]

Hi Doe,

It is almost the weekend, and DS is coming home. You will be tomorrow. I hope you have a nap planned to combat the late night. Take care of yourself. Have a great weekend.
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

My DS is home!!

We picked him up around 2 AM and were talking until past 4 AM! He had a good time and learned a lot about himself. All is well! Today I'll be running around to get his pictures developed!

The only plan today is to enjoy having DS back! It's been a month since we've seen him!

 

[nancyj_pa]

I'm so glad DS is home safely with you. I'm sure you'll relax and enjoy your day off hearing about his adventures.