Doreen's Fresh Start & Success Story! (Welcome Friends!)

[toystoryduo]

Good morning Doe,

That verse from your devotional this morning is such an awesome one! It's one of my favorites because it reminds me that God's plans for me are hopeful and full of His love. Thanks for sharing!

Sending prayers and your way for a peaceful day filled with God's blessings!

Take care, Doe!

 

[septbride2002]

It is good to know that I am not the only one struggling, although I wish you were not experiencing this. Keep the faith sweetheart and you will get through today. Make sure to go on that walk, the happy endorphins will help give you a boost!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

I earned 4 smilies yesterday so I'm up to 57 smilies and $2 reward money. I didn't exercise. I also didn't earn a healthy eating smilie because I was over 100g carbs, but my choices were good and there was no binging and no chocolate so I'm pleased with that.

Today is a new day and a chance to earn more smilies.
1. Devotions - God, in Christ's holy name, forgive us for being presumptuous, taking you for granted, and not living as your word tells us to. Conform us to the image of Christ. Amen. (Upper Room online devotional)
2. Pills - will take them with breakfast
3. Water - the usual 4 16oz mugs
4. Healthy eating - I'm still struggling with this one. I will not meet my 100g carb limit again today but I will make good choices. B = yogurt w/ almonds (31g), L = soup (26g) and a banana (16g), who knows what dinner will be.
5. Exercise - I will walk 15 minutes during lunch today.
6. Scale - 155, right back where I started from.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel, running furiously, getting nowhere. Am I doomed to carry this extra weight forever?? I know I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately and I should cut myself some slack, but I'm really tired of wearing my "fat" clothes. I'm trying my best to be patient and deal with one area of my life at a time - the depression & stress - and I should be happy to just maintain my weight at this point. However, my self image is a bit rough around the edges and the extra weight is NOT helping. Job was patient and I must be patient too. All things work together for good because I am God's child.

I'm at work and I have a tough meeting at 9 AM. I'll feel better (I hope) when that's over. I'll return here to update throughout the day, because writing down all my food helps me behave.

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, WISH-sis. As I write this, you're just going into your meeting. I'm sending and prayers that you feel God's confidence and peace.

Writing things down helps me to behave, too. Stopping and checking in here at the WISH definitely keeps me on track, so I'm going to make an effort to begin and end the day here today.

You know, I think you should give yourself a food . No chocolate + no binge=success if you ask me. Just think, if you control your binge eating again today, you'll look like before you know it! Maybe you could have a plan and stick to that, but not worry about the carb count right now?
Something to consider. . .

I'm thinking I'll need to do some Father's Day shopping on Saturday at K of P--interested in joining me for lunch?

Erin

 

[septbride2002]

I'm with Erin about the you deserve it! You have 27 carbs for dinner - I know you can make a good choice that will allow you to earn that tonight. How about subway? A turkey wrap is 12 carbs!

Doe is it just work stress or is there more going on? Do you need help around the house? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the amount of task you have to do? I know that when I'm stressed at work and then walk into a messy house my stress level stays extremely high.

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Well, you gals have definitely given me something to think about. Do I want to redefine my daily healthy eating goal? Why is it that we are so reluctant to redefine these goals, as if they are somehow set in stone?

I'll think about giving myself the smilie for healthy eating yesterday - not ready to make a decision just yet.

The 9 AM meeting went better than I thought it would. I am relieved and my work load has been lightened. We're still figuring out the details but all in all I am feeling more positive and less stressed.

I've been doing some research on anxiety and it seems like my anxiety level has risen slowly over the past year or two. I'm at the point now where I feel I would be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. While my depression symptoms have been worse lately, my symptom pattern certainly follows anxiety more closely than depression at this point. This will be important information to discuss with my doctor on Friday evening when I see him. I'll be looking into this more in the next day or two.

The sun is shining and my day is looking brighter.

EDIT: 2:30 PM
1.
2.
3. on my 3rd of 4 mugs
4. I forgot to take my meds with breakfast and then again with lunch, so I ate a pack of crackers (22g) and took them just now. Other than that, I'm sticking to my plan, even though I hear the EVM's chocolate calling my name VERY loudly.
5. No exercise yet.
6.

I'm still feeling very anxious. My stomach is in knots, my mind is cloudy and unable to focus, I feel restless and unsettled. I'm going to try to get some work done in the next hour - have to be a little productive.

 

[toystoryduo]

Doe,

I hope you have a wonderful day today! Remember, to take everything step by step and you will make it through!

Thank you so much for your post in my journal yesterday. You have no idea how much it blessed my heart. Thank you so much Doreen!

Take good care of you!

 

[Auntmeme]

HI Doe

Wishing a little magic your way have a wonderful thursday! keep that stress in check and no chocolate! I'm getting rid of the reeses in my fridge today - way too tempting.

 

[DoeWDW]

Yesterday's final stats:
1.
2.
3.
4. 95g + nachos w/ salsa (25g) + 2 chocolates (15g) = 135g. Since I'm so close to my goal, avoided the EVM chocolate, had no binges or emotional eating and made healthy choices, I'm claiming the smilie.
5. No exercise
6.

Total for the month = 63 smilies + $2 reward money. I'm halfway through the month and am on track for a nice smilie total!

The highlight of last evening was playing with the 4 shih tzu puppies (6 weeks old) at our hair salon. They were so cute and loved to be held & cuddled.

Today:
1. Devotions - God can use whatever we give, even when all we have to offer is a tiny seed of faith, ability, money, or time. Our job as Christians is to give God what we have, however inadequate our offering may seem, and to trust God to do the rest. (paraphrased from Upper Room online devotional)
2. Pills - taken.
3. Water - on the first of 4 mugs.
4. Healthy eating - I'm in trouble already. B = 1/2 C strawberries (8g - good) and a doughnut (34g - not so good), L will be yogurt w/ almonds (31g), D = ??? dinnertime seems so far away at the moment
5. Exercise - ya know I keep SAYING I'll exercise and then I don't do it. Will today be the day that I finally put my efforts where my mouth is????
6. Scale - 155 and holding steady.

My work tasks are better defined and fewer in number. I'm going to redo my color coded to-do spreadsheet to slim it down a bit. My goal today is to redo my spreadsheet, finish the CDART data model, arrange transportation for the DM class tomorrow, and finish the SED paperwork for my boss. If I get those 4 things finished, I'll call the day a success. I must set realistic goals each morning so I can avoid feeling overwhelmed.

I am a bit less anxious but am very tired from dealing with the high anxiety earlier this week. It takes a lot out of me and I'm left feeling rather hollow and exhausted. All I have to do is focus on my 4 tasks and move step by step through my day.

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Doreen! Looks like you did great yesterday. I love seeing your smilies in your journal! I am really glad that you are finding a way to re-evaluate and manage your work related stress. It must feel SO GREAT to take that in hand.

I hope you have made lots of notes on what you want to discuss with your doctor tomorrow night. Is this the appointment that was re-scheduled from a couple of weeks ago? I hope you get some satisfaction there. I will be thinking of you.

Have a wonderful day and NO MORE DOUGHNUTS!!! I was just thinking that I wish I were home -- I'd throw some chicken in a ziplock bag with fat free Italian dressing and then tonight, I'd cook it on my Forman grill or ask DH to put it on the grill outside.

It's a beautiful day here -- high of 82 -- finally feels like the spring we never had this year. It is re-energizing. Do you feel the same way? I bet you'd feel wonderful if you made time for a walk today. Then you could get your smilie for exercise, too, right?

 

[septbride2002]

You did so great yesterday! I am very proud of you! Keep up the great work and that dang scale will start to go down in numbers.

I hear what you are saying about anxiety. I feel it as well, I'll probably sleep walk the entire weekend

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Let's see -
3. On my 2nd mug of 4 - not drinking fast enough
4. The consequence of eating no protein (strawberries & a doughnut) for breakfast was that I was starving by 10 AM. I ate my yogurt w/ almonds then. It's 1 PM and I'm literally falling asleep, so I turned to the EVM - a can of Coke (39g) and a pack of crackers (22g) to keep me awake & settle my tummy.

 

[LAinSEA]

A lot like chocolate that CocaCola is. One of my grandmother's favorite remedies.

Doe:

You are doing very well to take a step back and to create some organization and structure for your work day. Don't let things pile on. I know whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, it is when I have a pile at work, at home, for school, for friends and family and no real time for ME! Contrary to what most people may believe, you do not have to be Wonder Woman every day. (Only on very special occasions).

Thanks again for your inspiring words in your journal. Having faith that the good Lord won't hand us anymore than we really are capable of handling is helpful for getting through the day, even if we have to take it one minute at a time.

The weekend is here! Make the most of it, and spend some well-earned time on you.

-Laurie

 

[lulu201]

Hey, just stopping by to wish you all the best today. Tell your dr. the whole story, girl; get it all out there on the table, and work together on a plan for your wellness.

I'll see you tomorrow.
,
Erin

 

[NCRedding]

I hope your week ends on a high note--you deserve it!!

 

[DoeWDW]

Yesterday's smilies were for devotions, pills and scale. I fell short on water. The Coke and crackers foiled my food smilie. No exercise - just too tired.
Total for the month = 66 smilies & $2 reward money.

Today:
1. Devotions - Jesus said, "Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid." -John 14:27 (TEV) This is a wonderful message and I will carry it with me today.
2. Pills - just taken.
3. Water - 3 20oz bottles, although this will be hard in training.
4. Healthy eating - B = ham egg cheese croissant, L will be at the training site's cafeteria, D???
5. Exercise - ????
6. Scale - 155 and steady as a rock.

Tonight is my visit with my doctor. I'll be making notes about what I want to say. I promise I'll tell all, Erin, so he and I can work together to make things better for me. He's a great doctor, a good listener and really does see us as a team.

I only have a quick moment. I'll be in training all day without computer access. Know that I'm thinking of all of you and will catch up on journals over the weekend.

Love to all,

 

[septbride2002]

Doe thank you so much for the message in my journal this morning. You are such a great friend to me. I hope your Dr can shed some light on what you have been feeling lately. Hopefully you and him will be able to work together to come to a solution. I know I'll be sending you today Doe!

~Amanda

 

[toystoryduo]

Doe,

I hope that your doctor's appointment goes well today. Please let us know how it goes. I'll be praying for you.

 

[DoeWDW]

My doctor's appt. went very well. We were unrushed and had a great talk about what my symptoms have been and what our options were. We decided to up the dose on my anti-depressant. I already had a physical scheduled for July 7th so we'll assess the effectiveness then. I'll start my higher dose tomorrow and will be praying for no side effects.

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Doe,

I'm glad to hear that your doctor's appointment went well. I'm sending prayers your way that the medicine will gently work its way through your system with no side effects.

Have a wonderful time at lunch and say hi to Erin for me!