Doreen's Fresh Start & Success Story! (Welcome Friends!)

[DoeWDW]

Saturday went well. DS had a good time at the prom. He and his date both looked so nice all dressed up. We took pics with the regular 35mm camera so I'll have to wait until they're developed and scan them into the computer before I can post one.

Yesterday just flew by. I helped at Sunday School, took a 4 hour nap and then DH & I took the puppy to a local rail trail for a walk.

Today I wanted to curl up in bed and ignore the world, but I'm here at work. I only worked 3 hours on Saturday morning and still have much to do. I'm sure I'll be busy all this week, but I don't see the need for any more overtime at the moment.

1. Devotions - All who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God. -John 1:12 (NRSV) I am a child of God. No matter what people think about me at work, I am loved and cherished by the Creator of All just the way I am. If I'm good enough for God, then why do I even worry about whether I'm good enough for my job?
2. Pills - Claritin taken last night, meds taken this morning. I've run out of vitamins - they're on the store list.
3. Water - Lots!!
4. Healthy eating - B was a bagel w/ butter. My stomach is feeling the anxiety of work today. Since I'm not eating strictly low-carb, I'll watch my portion sizes and calorie count.
5. Exercise - I hope so, but I'm not sure.
6. Bedtime - 10 PM.

I'm tired and the depression is still trying to close in and shut me down. I can try to put off the crash but I know it's coming. I'll feel better as I continue to work on this project at work and get it under control.

Thanks for the reminder to step back and see what all I've accomplished, Erin. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day-to-day that I lose that perspective. I AM strong and I've accomplished some amazing things in my life.

My life is blessed in so many ways. Rather than focus on the negatives (my anxiety about work, my insecurities about the job I've done), I'm going to look at all that I've accomplished with God's help and all the many many blessings He has showered upon me. One of my biggest blessings has been my WISH friends and I'm thankful for each of you.

 

[lulu201]

Hey, Doreen. It sounds like you're determined to do what you can do today to the best of your ability. Go forward and seize this day, dear girl.

Keep in mind that we're in the downward slope of the month. Now I'm not suggesting that we use that as an excuse or rationale for being less than we can be, but I do think we owe ourselves the benefit of some understanding, you know what I mean? Taking care to eat as well as we can, to do some moderate exercise, and to allow some slack in the schedule where we can, will help us through. Oh, and of course, some prayers, , and those gentle s.

I finished reading a great book this weekend: Max Lucado's "Come Thirsty." I can't remember when a book has left me feeling so loved and cared for by God. If you get a chance, treat yourself to this book!

One step at a time, Doreen, one step at a time.
Erin

 

[septbride2002]

Good Morning Doe! I"m sending lots of your way today! I know that anxiety is starting to get to you. Take a deep breath and know that you are going to get everything accomplished. Think positive - it is hard, but it really does help to stop those negative feelings and that anxiety from coming on. Your a tough lady so I know you are going to get everything done. Take it easy on yourself, be sure to take breaks - get up from your desk every now and then and walk around. Stretch! When I start to feel overwhelmed at my desk I will work for 50 minutes and then get away for 10 minutes. Go to the bathroom, refill your water mug, take care of some faxing or copying - just get away from your desk. Then come back and do it all over again!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

The day didn't turn out as planned. I left work early. A friend of my son's committed suicide Friday night. They had counselors at school for the kids but the guidance office called to let me know that DS was taking it hard. DS and I spent the evening together, at the mall and out for dinner, talking. If you have any spare prayers, please say some for DS.

In addition, my daughter was anxious because of a rumor going around school that someone had a gun and was going to pull the fire alarm.

I'll be staying home tomorrow with both kids. They aren't ready to walk back into school yet and I'm not comfortable leaving them home alone. I need to be here. Thank goodness I have an understanding boss.

Considering all this, I've done well with food today. No chocolate, no binging, pretty low carb. Maybe tomorrow I'll be brave enough to face the scale.

 

[Strings]

Doe,

I am sorry that your kids are having to go through this. I will be adding prayers for your kids. I hope you and the kids have a relaxing day tomorrow. They are lucky to have such a supportive mom.

Take care of yourself and your family sweetie,
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

As I wrote last night, I'm home today with the kids. We're all doing pretty well. DH will be coming home from work very soon and the plan is to get out in the sunshine at the Philadelphia Zoo. It's a 2 hour drive but we all just need to do something different as a family today.

Tomorrow, we'll be back to the normal routine.

I'm not going to plan for today - I'm going to take it as it comes.

 

[septbride2002]

Ooohhh! Have a fun day with the kiddos and Todd! Tell them I said "Hi!

~Amanda

 

[toystoryduo]

Have a wonderful day today, Doe!

 

[mking624]

Hi Doreen! I hope you're having a WONDERFUL day!

 

[DoeWDW]

Yesterday was a good day. All of us played hooky and went to the Philadelphia Zoo. We had a good time as a family and stopped by Outback for dinner on the way home.

Today DD did go to school but she has her cell phone in her backpack. The rumors of someone bringing a gun and shooting students are still running rampant. The rumors claim there is a hit list. The school assures me they've checked into it and can't find any truth to the rumors. There are plain clothes police in the hallways. However DD is still very anxious. She will go to the guidance office if she gets too nervous and will call me.

DS is home again today. The suicide of his friend has affected him deeply. Just walking into the guidance office today had him in tears. He cries trying to talk to a friend on the phone. He can't function at school. The viewing is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow - he wants to attend both. Everyone (including me) feels that he should not be alone, so I'm home with him again. We have an appointment with the guidance counselor at 2 today. We have to find a way to get him integrated back into life again but I just don't know how. Skinned knees are much easier to fix. It's hard to see my baby hurting and not know how to help.

Please keep both of them in your prayers.

 

[lulu201]

Oh, honey, I wish I could say something that would ease the pain--DS's, as well as yours. Life is so very harsh sometimes. It's good you're with DS--this is a huge loss in his life and one that will take some time to heal from. You're in my heart and prayers, dear WISH-sis.

to you all,
Erin

 

[septbride2002]

Gosh Doe, I am at a loss for words. I can only imagine the anxiety you and your family must be feeling. I agree that your son should not go to the viewing alone, and I'm sure he will be comforted by your presence. Suicide is so hard to deal with, especially when you are only 17. I'm going to stop right now and say a prayer for him, and the rest of your family. Know that I am thinking about you.

I'm glad you gave your daughter a cell phone to call you with. I'm sure that alone will give her the strength to get through the day.

~Amanda

 

[wilderness01]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Doreen,

My heart goes out to you and your family at this time. Words are escaping me right now, but prayers are not. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[lulu201]

to you this morning, Doreen. Today's a new day. Thank God we know that after what may be days of rain, the sun will come out again. Keep walking, dear friend, keep walking. Your sun will come again.

I hope you're taking some time to realize what burdens you're bearing--from all directions. You can withstand the load; just realize you don't bear it alone. God shares your turmoil. . .and so do your WISH friends.

Love you tons,
Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

The rumors are dying down. The investigation by the school and state police has shown the rumors to be just that. I talked to the guidance counselors yesterday and they assure me all is well. DD is feeling better after being in school yesterday and will go again today.

DS spent time walking around the school yesterday after all the kids had gone. He knew he would be flooded with memories and emotions and didn't want his classmates to be around. I thought he was doing better. Then he attended the viewing last night. So many very sad people. He is not going to school today. I'm staying home and I'll attend the funeral with him. He is going to try to work at the movie theater tonight to take his mind off things for a little while. It is the opening of Star Wars and he is a big fan.

Yesterday I finally caved in and medicated with food. It wasn't pretty. Today I'll get to the grocery store and stock up on healthy stuff.

Thank you all for your kind words and especially your prayers. They mean so much. I'll try to take DS and puppy out for a walk in the sunshine today for some exercise.

 

[septbride2002]

Lots of prayers and pixie dust coming your way for the funeral.

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

No parent should have to bury a 14 year old talented vibrant daughter. The fact that she commited suicide made it so much harder. The funeral yesterday was beyond sad. In a church filled to capacity with 400+ people, many of them high school kids, you could hear a pin drop. DS spent time with his friends and most of them were very comforting to him.

Last evening DS put on his uniform and went to work at the movie theater. He says he did pretty well during his shift. I think it helped move him back into real life. He is at school today. It's a half day and most of it will be spent at the student talent show assembly. I'm starting to see glimpses of his usual personality, which is very heartening. He works again tonight.

A dear friend called me last night and suggested that I take today off to take care of me. I've been under stress at work and then I've spent this week caring for my hurting kids. I truly haven't had time to deal with my own emotions and fatigue. I'm home, still in my jammies, with just the puppy for company. I'll go to work for just a couple hours tomorrow morning to deal with the backlog of emails and work assignments so that Monday is easier. I can deal with the work without having to deal with the people.

Today is the day to restock the fridge with healthy foods, catch up on the laundry, and take time to rest and process all that has happened.

No plan for today - tomorrow is soon enough.

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, Doreen. Glad to hear you're in your jammies--there are definite healing properties in jammies. I think doctors should make better use of them. They could say things like "take two aspirin and get into your jammies."


You're in my heart, dear WISH-sis.

Erin

 

[septbride2002]

Doe I think your friend gave you some great advice, and good job for taking it. I'm glad to hear that DS is moving through his grief, I know that is a huge relief for you. Give him time. Do the parents know why their daughter did this?

I'm sending you lots of today. Can you feel them?

~Amanda