Doncha just hate it when you have to do the right thing?--UPDATE pg 5 #63

[Becky2005]

I agree. There's something wrong if everyone (or everyone except one boy) failed.

I agree -- the ratio should be the opposite, everyone passed except 1, maybe 2 but if say you have 30 kids in your class and 29 of them fail -- there is a problem!

One solution: My DD's school has 2 teachers that teach Algebra II, they will allow students to attend tutoring of either teacher. Sometimes hearing the material from another teacher can help the concept to be learned.

This is true too. During DD's 7th grade she was getting a C in Science, the science teacher went on maternity leave & all of a sudden my DD was getting A's. When I questioned her about it, the answer I got was the new teacher explained things in ways DD understood it so much better. It was the same material but the way it was taught DD grasps the concepts more with the different teacher.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

another one chiming in here that it doesn't sound like the punishment fits the crime.

I could understand taking away dance if algebra was a critical class for the college major they were planning on.

However, your daughter is planning on majoring in theater and dance. Taking dance away would be the same thing as telling an engineering major they were forbidden to take calculus or forbidding a premed student from taking biology.

Dance is critical to her major, just as calculus would be to a child preparing for an engineering major or an English class for a student preparing to be a journalist.

I'm all for the school is first, however, dance, at least for your daughter, is every bit as important for her college major as any class at her school.

 

[bumbershoot]

This is true too. During DD's 7th grade she was getting a C in Science, the science teacher went on maternity leave & all of a sudden my DD was getting A's. When I questioned her about it, the answer I got was the new teacher explained things in ways DD understood it so much better. It was the same material but the way it was taught DD grasps the concepts more with the different teacher.

Yep. In college I took a math course (the last for the minor) from the head of the department, long tenured, seemingly no teaching skills whatsoever. I failed it. He used to have tons of extra credit questions...not math based. Beatles-based. I knew nothing about the Beatles, for various reasons, despite having a hippie mother. So all these kids who were *rebelling* by listening to that music were getting better grades, even though we might have known the subject equally.

Took it the next semester from an animated prof who was not yet tenured, held the class's attention, and was funny in a really nerdy way, and while I didn't do great, I got a C, which was enough to finish up the minor.

Different teachers teach very very different from each other. I have a similar story with Organic Chem, only in that the second time through I got an A+.

I could understand taking away dance if algebra was a critical class for the college major they were planning on.

However, your daughter is planning on majoring in theater and dance. Taking dance away would be the same thing as telling an engineering major they were forbidden to take calculus or forbidding a premed student from taking biology.

Dance is critical to her major, just as calculus would be to a child preparing for an engineering major or an English class for a student preparing to be a journalist.

Good point.



Minky, my mom had some strict rules. And I got punished when I broke them. But she wasn't an automaton, either, and we could have discussions about why this time the punishment was changed or entirely lifted, b/c it just didn't make sense with the problem, or more importantly, the *reason* for the problem. Everyone on the Dis seems to think you can't be friends AND a parent, and I disagree wholeheartedly. My mom was both, she was great, and I respected her and was devastated when I would disappoint her.

I think you guys should get to the bottom of this, and change the punishment if need be.

 

[quasar4legs]

If your daughter is doing well in dance maybe she should drop the algebra (I know, I know).

When I sit in the Opera House and watch the Australian Ballet perform I have never once wondered if the dancers passed Algebra.
I think it is a blessing that your daughter has developed a passion for something at such a young age.

Big hugs to you all as you make a tough decision.

 

[allison443]

OP am I understanding correctly that the punishment is to take away the six hours of dance at the outside dance school that you pay for, and she will still do the 12 hours a week in the school dance groups?
Is the reason because the online class cost $550 and the money for dance class is going to be diverted to pay for that?
That seems to be kind of a related punishment then...

However, I think it is ridiculous if everyone in the class failed except one student. I would find out if that's really true.

Also, what do you think your dd could or should have done differently? Did she not tell you the teacher was skipping the tutoring? Did you know she was doing poorly all along?

I do wonder, if someone isn't good at math, if block scheduling makes it even more difficult.

 

[Uuaww]

Is failing an F? or a D? or what? The school would put up a red flag if a teacher had only Ds and Fs in his class. Someone is blowing smoke.

 

[Andy B]

Do you think your DD did not do the work, did not complete homework or misbehaved in the class, if not what are you punishing her for? Not being able to understand or do one class in school, if so I hope you and your husband have never failed at anything in your lives.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wouldn't take dance away. If you were aware that she was struggling in math it would have been a better route to hire her a private tutor that would have helped her right away when she first started struggling in the subject- especially if you knew that the teacher wasn't showing up for school sponsered tutoring.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

If I were you, I would be trying to get my DD into another Algebra II class in her school this semester. That's one of the advantages of block scheduling. She could then take a less intense course online in place of that block where she might have a chance of success.

I have to say that I am really, really skeptical that all but one student failed a core class. If that is true, then I would be coming at the administration with pitchforks demanding that the admin do something about this teacher. Out of all those kids, how many dreams of being an engineer, doctor, teacher, architect, etc. would have been dashed by failing Algebra II!!!

I suspect that you will end up finding that a few kids failed the course, and the overall average is lower than in other classes because the teacher was either a hard marker or not a brilliant teacher. If that's the case, I hope haven't been telling anyone in real life the same thing you said on this board...that would be pretty slanderous to the teacher and if the rumour took hold, could be damaging the his career.

 

[phorsenuf]

My son failed physics last year. Math is his thing so we couldn't figure it out since its so math based. Well, after meeting with the teacher we could. One time my son called 8 people in his class about an assignment and none of them understood it either.
He's taking it this year online and flying through the course and getting awesome grades. He started the class in October and will be done with the whole course in a few more weeks. He's going through it so quickly because he is enjoying it. He'll spend hours online doing his work.

Did we punish him when he failed. No. I knew it wasn't (all) his fault and he felt bad about failing. It happens sometimes. No kid is perfect (although some may argue that point).

If she tried her best but didn't pass what can ya do really? If dance wasn't the cause of failing then why take that away especially if that's going to be her major. Truthfully it would be a stupid decision. If you are insistent on making her "pay" then take something else away.

And yes, sometime I do hate it when I have to do the right thing, but this isn't the right thing.

ETA: I forgot to mention that if you want to get her a tutor contact the guidance councilor. My son is currently tutoring a student in algebra and chem during opens at school. The office has a list of kids they think (and have been recommended by teachers) that are available to tutor. He gets $15 bucks and hour for doing it.

 

[mrsv98]

As a former teacher, if "everyone" or even 1/2 of the class failed, then it would have been MY fault, and not the class as a whole. Before I took her out of the classes, I would contact the teacher and the principal to see what the whole story is and then make a decision. In general I am a "follow up on threats" person but in this case it seems like more investigation is in order.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As a former teacher, if "everyone" or even 1/2 of the class failed, then it would have been MY fault, and not the class as a whole. Before I took her out of the classes, I would contact the teacher and the principal to see what the whole story is and then make a decision. In general I am a "follow up on threats" person but in this case it seems like more investigation is in order.

Agree. On top of which math failure may require that your dd needs outside help.

Learning how to combat failure is something I consider a teachable life skill and necessary for success in college. Since your dd dances I am sure she has that skill.

She just needs to be taught how to do it with other classes. Things like seeing her school counselor to get ideas, finding other math tutors, finding a group of kids to call in the class when she is stuck, getting mom/dad in there to sit and talk with the teacher for a conference, & talking to mom and dad about her grade when she is stuck. This is where my focus would be rather than a punishment.

Since my college dd is here, she is 7th grade's dd "tutor". My middle schooler is starting algebra this semester and came home with her first homework assignment. Watching my older dd tutor her last night just reconfirms to me that getting outside help is what can keep you on top on the math.

With math sometimes you need someone to explain it differently to get it and succeed.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Agree with previous posters -- although as a kid, I would often try to soften the blow of a bad score on an exam, etc. by telling my parents, "Well, EVERYONE failed, except ____ who messed up the bell curve for everyone else."

My DS loves football, and I had to do the same thing because of his grades (Geometry). We'd always threatened to pull him from sports and had to carry through -- I feel your pain.

I would definitely put her track record on the board, though -- if this is her only slip (and it sounds like she's conscientious), I would maybe do a "probation" period?

 

[rie'smom]

Check into the everyone failed the class. If this happened, it isn't her fault and she shouldn't be held responsible.
If your daughter is willing to pay the $500 for the summer class, your husband shouldn't stop her. It's her money and it isn't as though she's blowing it on a shopping spree. I wonder if she was a boy would your husband make him quit sports because of grades? I say this because I have a friend whose husband fully supported their son in sports but refused to allow their daughter to go out for cheering or the dance team.

 

[wdwfan16]

My DD16 is a dancer. She has been dancing about 18 hours a week. About 6 of those hours are with an outside dance studio. The rest is at school (she's in a show choir and various musical theater/dance productions.)

Last semester she failed Algebra 2. Well, in fact, everyone in her class failed, with the exception of one boy. She had issues with this teacher the whole semester. She went in for tutoring and he wouldn't show up or he forgot or some excuse. Now I'll grant you that she probably didn't prioritize her time as well as she should and we've always told her that if she fails a core class her dance classes will be going away. Now it's time to put our money where our mouth is. I hate to do it.

DH is ready to lower the boom on her. Because she failed her class she now has two options: take it online or in summer school for $550 or take it next year(12th grade) and give up show choir or theater(which is what she plans to major in.) DH wants her to go ahead and take the class now, while algebra is somewhat fresh. He refuses to let me take the money out of her small savings acct and I do agree with him. I just hate to be the baddy. So I'm signing her up in the morning and she will be allowed to go to dance on Thursday to say goodbye to the teacher and friends. I hate it for her because dancing is her LIFE. But school has to come first and it doesn't matter whether you "hate math" or have a "crummy teacher" or the moon and stars didn't align. If you fail you have to pay the piper.

Ugh. I hate being a grown up right now

You are doing the right thing. She passes this online class and all of her classes this spring and she is back in dance in the summer or fall and gets to take her theater classes next year.

 

[golfgal]

Is Algebra 2 a required class for graduation?

I would give the principal a call and just say "I have been hearing this from several sources and I just want to check into it but it seems as though a large percentage of Mr. XXXXX's class failed last semester. We are concerned about that but don't want to really do anything about it until we get some official confirmation. Is this something you can help us with?" This way you can have the principal check into the issue and see if it was just your DD or if a lot of kids did fail.

We are having a similar issue with the twins' science teacher this year. She is NOT good about giving directions, she changes up information needed on tests, etc. Last trimester we got emails about both of the twins not doing well on a lab assignment. We asked a few friends and they got the same email--these are ALL kids that are very good students. We are telling the kids to just do their best and if it becomes more of an issue we will worth through proper channels to get it taken care of.

 

[mjkacmom]

Being accepted into dance and theater programs in college is HARD! There were so many schools my neighbor would've been accepted to (straight A student, private HS, unbelievable SAT's) on an academic basis, but she was turned down by the theater department (she's danced her whole life, had a lead in every production she was in, won awards in theater programs...). If dance is her passion, don't take that away for a lousy Algebra 2 class.

Dd13 is very involved in music and theater, and dd8 in dance and theater. I can't imagine taking these away from them, after they've worked so hard, put in so many grueling hours.

 

[robinb]

You are doing the right thing. She passes this online class and all of her classes this spring and she is back in dance in the summer or fall and gets to take her theater classes next year.

But the problem is that she will probably be applying to colleges soon and THEY will want to see her dance classes from 2nd semester Junior year. The OP may be throwing away a talent-based scholarship if she forces her DD to sit out the next semester. This isn't just a hobby that the DD likes. It is what she wants to do with her life. She will be at a severe disadvantage if she does not dance for the next semester. In addition, dancers are conditioned both in body and mind. Forcing to take 5-6 months off will also put her even farther back in dance as she will literally lose some of her ability during that time. I'm not sure how the dance program works at that level but I know that in other disciplines that classes have prerequisites and if she does not take a certain class next semester she may not be able to take a more advanced classes next year.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Your daughter is going to be a senior. She will very soon be making her own choices about everything. Let her now make her choice about what to focus on in her life. If that is dance/theatre and not math, so be it.

 

[declansdad]

Everyone failed but one, sorry but that's a bit hard to believe. There has to be more to this story.

And why are you just finding out now that she was failing and not getting help?