Dolls Replace Lost Babies

[Wishing on a star]

I agree with those who say that this just cannot be healthy.

And, on the web site, I noticed strong language about how the babies are 'reborn' which I found misleading and disturbing.

To go thru the stages of greif, one must come thru 'resolution' and then move on. From what I understand, not doing so creates many problems. People naturally become fixated on traumatic events that they have endured, and look for ways to 'fix' them. I remember one wise poster who gave some excellent advice on one thread about a troubled relationship, she asked "What is there in your past that you are still looking for resolution".

I just do not see how reliving the trauma can be healthy.
Just looking at those models who happen to appear to be deceased raised too much uncomfortable emotion in me. When I saw the ones who had cheeks bright red with baby-excema, It just made me uncomfortable. I wanted to run put some medicated cream on their little faces. I wanted to 'fix' them. Well, sadly, with a doll, you cannot 'fix' them. You will never be able to see them with creamy pink healthy cheeks.

With that being said, when DS was little, I just happened to see a baby-doll that looked EXACTLY like he did at 6 months. It was a very realistic and lifelike LeBaby. I had to hunt one down and mail-order it. It is just amazing how it looks just EXACTLY like one photo that I had taken of DS. Even with the little fingers in the exact same unique poise (not just a baby-fist or outstretched fingers), the same little smile, the same nose.

PS: while the quality and appearance of the actual babies was no less than amazing, for the life of me, I cannot see how they can use mohair for these babies hair. I thought the hair on every single one of them that was not covered in a cap did not look natural at all, with a very course texture and unrealistic colors.

 

[MELISAZACK]

I would love to have one that looks like my son as a baby...but first I would like to know if anyone knows the price of these dolls...
I am scared to ask personally....

 

[chager]

I read where it said these dolls were meant for collectors so I too think someone sent in a pic of their deceased child and started a new market for them. I remember seeing a doll years ago that was very lifelike. He looked liked a baby boy of about 8 weeks in the little cradle. He was weighted appropriately too! I fell in love with him but he was $200 (about 20 years ago) and I couldn't afford or justify getting him. I wish I could afford to get one of when my son was a baby. I think it would be neat to have it. I remember seeing one that resembled him once, but not close enough to buy it..

 

[JadenLayne]

The prices can GREATLY vary.........

You can find them for as little as $75 dollars all the way up to over $1,000 dollars.

You usually get what you pay for and the quality goes up with the price. You can actually get some beautiful ones for around $200 though.

 

[JikoMarie]

Some of these things I can understand. I worked Labor and Delivery for several years. We would take photos, locks of hair, hand and feet prints, save the stocking cap and blanket the baby was wrapped in....all mementos for the parents when they felt ready. Some wanted the items right away, some came back a few years later....some never at all. But a doll made to look like the deceased baby seems it would make it too easy to cross that line between reality and fantasy and make it easier for the mom to pretend that the baby were still alive....something so life like that they could suspend the fact that the baby was no longer there. It just doesn't seem healthy.

As well, there are also spiritual and religious care departments at hospitals that offer blessings, cremation and burial services for these little babies that are genetically terminated or miscarried before a certain period. It has been my experience that this is very helpful to the grieving process. However, the idea of these dolls seems very unhealthy to me. While I think there is a potentital for them to help some people, I think they would be harmful to most grieving parents, as others have stated. To me it seems like a company is trying to cash in on people's sorrow and loss.

 

[yeartolate]

God Lord.

Can't folks just grieve the old fashioned way?

 

[Blondie]

As well, there are also spiritual and religious care departments at hospitals that offer blessings, cremation and burial services for these little babies that are genetically terminated or miscarried before a certain period. It has been my experience that this is very helpful to the grieving process. However, the idea of these dolls seems very unhealthy to me. While I think there is a potentital for them to help some people, I think they would be harmful to most grieving parents, as others have stated. To me it seems like a company is trying to cash in on people's sorrow and loss.

I agree. I'd think it would prolong the grieving period. I would not want to be reminded with a doll that immortalizes the baby's physical features. Pictures are one thing. But a doll, I just don't think so. It would be too painful for me.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

................


that's all i have to say about that.

 

[KristiKelly]

To me it seems like a company is trying to cash in on people's sorrow and loss.

I don't think this company markets themselves as that. They originally started as doll makers and someone sent in a picture of their deceased baby and it has caught on, with a few anyway.

 

[mickeyboat]

However, the idea of these dolls seems very unhealthy to me. While I think there is a potentital for them to help some people, I think they would be harmful to most grieving parents, as others have stated. To me it seems like a company is trying to cash in on people's sorrow and loss.

While it may be true the company is cashing in on someone's sorrow and loss, they are not the only ones. How about the cost of a casket, or a headstone? Or the cost of having the police escort the funeral procession? There are people taking advantage of grieving people every day.

People grieve differently. There is no right or wrong way. If a doll brings comfort to someone, who am I to judge? I might think it is creepy, but I have not walked a mile in their shoes.

Denae

 

[SueM in MN]

It was a very realistic and lifelike LeBaby. I had to hunt one down and mail-order it. It is just amazing how it looks just EXACTLY like one photo that I had taken of DS. Even with the little fingers in the exact same unique poise (not just a baby-fist or outstretched fingers), the same little smile, the same nose.

The 'reborning' started out with people who had the LeBaby dolls and did some 'customizing' on it to make it even more lifelike.
If you go on ebay and do a search for 'reborn', you will find everything from really well done ones like in the link on this thread (that are very expensive) to really scary looking ones with red blushed cheeks, overly long eyelashes and red lips.

They did start out as collector's dolls and some people who lost a baby wanted one like the baby they lost.

It's not something I personally would want, but different people grieve in different ways. Some of the things people commonly did in the past seem kind of creepy to us (like Victorian jewelry made out of the hair of deceased loved ones).

 

[JikoMarie]

While it may be true the company is cashing in on someone's sorrow and loss, they are not the only ones. How about the cost of a casket, or a headstone? Or the cost of having the police escort the funeral procession? There are people taking advantage of grieving people every day.

I totally agree and I think it's terrible. I know the blessing, cremation, and burial services that the hospital provided that I mentioned earlier were completely free of charge.

I don't think this company markets themselves as that. They originally started as doll makers and someone sent in a picture of their deceased baby and it has caught on, with a few anyway.

But now they are marketing themselves in that way, at least according to the article. I mean, even the name "Reborn" would indicate this certain purpose for the dolls.

 

[tink1978]

That is so sad! As a mental health professional, I would agree with the woman in the article who stated that it is not healthy to choose to do this. It makes it more difficult to move on. That being said, I would also say that some people may truly feel that this is the way they need to go to move on....and there would be no point in arguing with them or trying to change their minds. I would hope that they would not be so consumed with the death of their child, that they would forget their living children or the ones that they could still have.

 

[CEDmom]

Personally I think something like that would cause me more grief than learning to live with the loss. DH and I lost our 2nd DD at 19 weeks. I went through labor and delivery and we held our baby. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I never thought I'd recover from that but I have. I'm not the same person I was before our loss but no one is after suffering something like that.