Doing a 5 night cruise with kids and Grandma… any recommendations on how to get space?

[lanejudy]

OP - a 5-night cruise is essentially 4 "days" together. What was the draw of this particular 5-night cruise? If that is too long, maybe you want to consider a shorter cruise -- a 4-night or even a 3-night. Or would grandma be happy taking the kids, while you and your wife have a separate vacation on land (maybe at/near the same port so pre-cruise/post-cruise travel you are back with the kids).

Those are some things to think about. But regardless of cruise length it really all comes down to communicating -- what are HER expectations of the cruise, and what do YOU want to get out of it, as well as what do the kids want to do. It would be a shame to end up on the cruise and the kids spend all their waking hours in the Club/Lab, you and your wife do your own thing, and mom is left alone on the cruise that she was "begging" to do.

I have a suggestion that has nothing to do with the cruise... it sounds like mom could really benefit from some help finding socialization at home. Not necessarily in her home, but locally. Maybe you can help her get involved with a local senior center, the local library, a knitting group, ladies circle at church, etc. Whatever her interests are. She'll always LOVE time with the family and grandkids, but it would really help curb that "latch on to any socialization she can get when she's around" you if she has another social outlet. It can be hard if she doesn't live near you, but making that effort would be a tremendous gift to both her and you.

 

[msmama]

I would NOT recommend the way I got space from my mother, which was my son getting sick and being confined to our room.

 

[Carohs]

When my MIL came on a cruise with us, we also invited my great-aunt. Luckily those two get along and have maintained communication despite living in separate states. They shared a room and would do activities together that interested them without us. We did do all meals and excursions together, which is most of the day anyway. You're really only looking at four days together. If you're really concerned about alone-time schedule one or two tastings, but in a short cruise you won't have time really for much more than that.

 

[mmouse37]

OMG after reading these replies I thank the stars above that our adult children actually like spending time with us and that we are the type of parents that readily give space when needed.

We just did a 6 night cruise with one of our adult kids and their family and we had dinner together every night happily. We often offered to watch the kids so they could get use out of their cruise length spa pass. One our grandkids was too young to do their planned excursion so my husband and I took our 4 year old granddaughter on a private excursion and spent the day together. As far as cabins they have 5 in their family so we offered to have one of our grandkids in our cabin and the other ones slept over a night or two. My DIL and I have a fantastic relationship and we often spend time doing things together onboard without our husbands. It would literally kill me if I thought my family was planning on how to devise ways to not vacation with us or to get away from us. But then again we are not the type of people who butt into other's plans.

I truly feel sorry for families who don't enjoy each other's company and feel very lucky we have the family dynamic we do.

We go into any joint vacation with what everyone expects out of it and how to go about doing that.

That said a cruise is a good place to separate if needed but you need to talk it over with your family and see what each expects out of this cruise.

MJ

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

OMG after reading these replies I thank the stars above that our adult children actually like spending time with us and that we are the type of parents that readily give space when needed.

We just did a 6 night cruise with one of our adult kids and their family and we had dinner together every night happily. We often offered to watch the kids so they could get use out of their cruise length spa pass. One our grandkids was too young to do their planned excursion so my husband and I took our 4 year old granddaughter on a private excursion and spent the day together. As far as cabins they have 5 in their family so we offered to have one of our grandkids in our cabin and the other ones slept over a night or two. My DIL and I have a fantastic relationship and we often spend time doing things together onboard without our husbands. It would literally kill me if I thought my family was planning on how to devise ways to not vacation with us or to get away from us. But then again we are not the type of people who butt into other's plans.

I truly feel sorry for families who don't enjoy each other's company and feel very lucky we have the family dynamic we do.

We go into any joint vacation with what everyone expects out of it and how to go about doing that.

That said a cruise is a good place to separate if needed but you need to talk it over with your family and see what each expects out of this cruise.

MJ

I've been on countless vacations with the in-laws in the 16 years that I've been with them. We just know which destinations and places are better suited and which are not. Different interests, different personalities. Quite normal really and completely acceptable as well

The Lake is one of our best places together but WDW would be a nightmare and they wouldn't enjoy the experience. Cape Cod is another great place we've been together but Cancun was hard with the excursions and they honestly had issues adapting to the difference in food. They wouldn't enjoy how we do Vegas nor Hawaii nor Jamaica but we had a blast on our road trip through multiple states about 10 years ago.

Has little to do with wanting or not wanting to be around them. None of us are perfect that's for sure