Does your son wear jewelry?

[NHdisneylover]

My son has a huge collection of necklaces as well as several bracelets. DD and I tease him (in a good natured way--he jokes about it too) because when we vacation he takes more jewelry along than the two of us combined (us girls are not much for jewelry though so that is easy to do).
Had a friend given him the necklace you describe at age 8 he probably would have been thrilled. He would not have cared where it came from. Like a PP's son, he is not a very macho little guy though.

Of my two sons, only my youngest wore a necklace for a while. It was a simple leather string with a puka (sp) shell that his sister brought him from Hawaii.

Talk to your son and explain how some boys don't really like to wear necklaces. Let him think it over. If he is uncertain what his friend would do, suggest that maybe you take the soccer ball charms off the chains and string them onto short leather strings...maybe use it on the zipper pull of his sports duffle bag?

I was going to suggest this. It makes the necklaces more personal, and less girlie and then it is NOT a necklace from a girls' store.
I would also suggest having him give his friend the necklace when the friend is at his house (or he is visiting the friend) and not at school.

if an eight year old boy gave me a necklace when i was 8, my dad would have kicked my butt. and probably made me stop hanging around that dude.

I hope you will be a better role model for your son than you dad was for you in this respect.

 

[mjkacmom]

Which is why my first suggestion was the ground-breaking idea to actually ask the intended recipient's parents, to find that out.

I disagree with you. What most of the posters are doing is projecting their own narrow viewpoints onto the two boys in question. The people against this idea do not discuss this in terms of finding out the other boy's attitudes. They simply recoil at the idea of a boy giving a "girl" gift to another boy. Sexism at its finest.

They would keel over and die if they knew that my son has his own dolls and my daughter plays city rec league baseball.

My boys are VERY into sports (and play on several teams each season, rec and travel), and ds12 has recently started to get into musical theater, with lead roles and solos. Ds7 has taken dance (hip-hop) for a couple of years. And I can tell you, if they wore bff necklaces, they would be teased. Why set your kids up for that?

 

[mamamary]

My son has never worn jewelry of any kind. I would def. let your son know that some kids (even girls) do not like wearing jewelry.

 

[BRDof3]

if they wore bff necklaces, they would be teased. Why set your kids up for that?

Why do you teach your kids that it is normal to make fun of anyone that doesn't fit your ancient (and disproven) sexual stereotype? My kids know better than to deliberately make someone feel bad. A radical concept, teaching that it the wrong thing to do, huh?

Thousands of years of "modern" humanity and evolution, and we still have "boy" things and "girl" things and demand that everyone accept them. We've come a long way, baby.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My daughter is home from school now and reminded me that DS had a BFF necklace (frogs) when he was younger. He had half and the other half was for his best friend in Michigan when we moved. He was 6 at the time and wore it for at least a year afterwards. I think it eventually got lost. It came from Claires an it was officially a girl necklace. It sis not seem to bother either kid (and no one ever teased him about it either).
Other things have resulted in teasing--but not any necklace he has ever worn

 

[mjkacmom]

Why do you teach your kids that it is normal to make fun of anyone that doesn't fit your ancient (and disproven) sexual stereotype? My kids know better than to deliberately make someone feel bad. A radical concept, teaching that it the wrong thing to do, huh?

Thousands of years of "modern" humanity and evolution, and we still have "boy" things and "girl" things and demand that everyone accept them. We've come a long way, baby.

I'm not teaching my child to tease, but I've seen kids get teased for much less than wearing a necklace! How many 8 year old boys do you see holding hands and skipping on the playground? How many 8 year old girls do you see wrestling on the ground? I do feel there is a biological difference between males and females, causing differences in their behavior. Sure, not all of them, but the majority of them. Some is nature, some is nurture. As a mom who put her toddler ds's hair in bows (he was my only child with hair and curls - the rest were baldies), and took many pictures when he dressed up as a princess with his sisters, I can honestly say, he became a typical boy on his own.

 

[DawnM]

You are right. I think many of us didn't read it carefully. BUT, to be fair, the question posed in the title made many of us think she was merely asking if our own boys wore jewelry.

I would not let them exchange a necklace UNLESS we knew the boy actually wanted it. We have some friends whose sons love those beach type necklaces, but I wouldn't give them to anyone else.

Dawn

Many seem to be missing the point. I don't think the issue here is whether or not a boy should wear a necklace. The issue is should a boy exchange BFF necklaces with another boy. And honestly, that's really a girl thing. I can't imagine a boy taking such a gift from another boy, especially if it's a girls' necklace from a girls store.

 

[BRDof3]

I'm not teaching my child to tease... How many 8 year old boys do you see holding hands and skipping on the playground? How many 8 year old girls do you see wrestling on the ground? I do feel there is a biological difference between males and females, causing differences in their behavior.

My son holds hands and runs and skips when he plays. And I see plenty of girls wrestlingon the ground, including mine at times. Teaching kids that boys wrestle and play rough, and nice playful contact is for girls only has created a society of men that feel they have a biological justification for being physical and abusive.

That bolded section explains a lot about your attitude, and a lot of the problems we have today.

 

[mjkacmom]

My son holds hands and runs and skips when he plays. And I see plenty of girls wrestlingon the ground, including mine at times. Teaching kids that boys wrestle and play rough, and nice playful contact is for girls only has created a society of men that feel they have a biological justification for being physical and abusive.

That bolded section explains a lot about your attitude, and a lot of the problems we have today.

You have an 8 year old son who hold hand and skips? Seriously, no one (at least no one I know) is teaching boys to wrestle, and girls to skip. Maybe you just ended up with a more feminine boy, and a more masculine girl? Having 3 girls, and 2 boys, and being around a lot of kids most of the time, it has been my experience that little boys are like puppies, with the rougher physical contact as how they connect, and girls seem to need more of a gentle contact, with hugs and hand holding. And I will stand by my belief that it's biological.

 

[BRDof3]

little boys are like puppies, with the rougher physical contact as how they connect, and girls seem to need more of a gentle contact, with hugs and hand holding. And I will stand by my belief that it's biological.

"I don't teach sexist attitudes. I just perpetuate them because, after all, they are all around us. We may as well go along with it. After all, if everyone else does it then it must be right. And it sure beats thinking for ourselves."

As far as the bolded section, I've heard the same words used to argue in favor of sexual, racial, and ethnic discrimination. Shame on us that any of us still believe that.

 

[BRDof3]

You are right. I think many of us didn't read it carefully.

I would not let them exchange a necklace UNLESS we knew the boy actually wanted it.

What a radical thought. Sounds like the one I stated in my first post.

But, it won't work because, after all, these are girl things, not boy things.

 

[DawnM]

No need to get sarcastic. I have revised what I originally said (your quote) because the OP's title of the thread did NOT ask if it would be a good gift.....the OP TITLE asked if our own boys wear jewelry.

What a radical thought. Sounds like the one I stated in my first post.

But, it won't work because, after all, these are girl things, not boy things.

 

[BRDof3]

No need to get sarcastic. I have revised what I originally said (your quote) because the OP's title of the thread did NOT ask if it would be a good gift.....the OP TITLE asked if our own boys wear jewelry.

And my point from the beginning was/is that it doesn't matter what anyone else on the planet does or thinks. The opinions of the boys are all that should be taken into consideration. The only person she should have asked was the other boy's parent(s).

The people who say "Ewww" are the ones with the problem.

 

[mjkacmom]

"I don't teach sexist attitudes. I just perpetuate them because, after all, they are all around us. We may as well go along with it. After all, if everyone else does it then it must be right. And it sure beats thinking for ourselves."

As far as the bolded section, I've heard the same words used to argue in favor of sexual, racial, and ethnic discrimination. Shame on us that any of us still believe that.

Well, I don't believe in sexual, racial, or ethnic discrimination. I believe biological differences between men and women are equal across the board. I believe the homosexuality is biological (and normal), and that no ethnicity is better than any other. I just wouldn't encourage a boy to wear a dress to school. I like the fact that men and women are different. BTW, my DH did more night feedings than I did, cries at sad movies, and will willingly take his dd to dance competitions. However, we are not going to set any of our children up as targets for teasing.

 

[BRDof3]

I believe biological differences between men and women are equal across the board.

There you have it. Our differences are equal. Equal but separate. Justification for actions. Nope, that's not discriminatory at all, is it? ("This is your brain on drugs.")

However, we are not going to set any of our children up as targets for teasing.

I guess my kids will be much better prepared to deal with closed minds and inappropriate behavior. At least 3 of them in this world will be able to do something besides continue the status quo. And feel a lot better about themselves than the "normal," separately equalized kids.

 

[Imzadi]

Of my two sons, only my youngest wore a necklace for a while. It was a simple leather string with a puka (sp) shell that his sister brought him from Hawaii.

Talk to your son and explain how some boys don't really like to wear necklaces. Let him think it over. If he is uncertain what his friend would do, suggest that maybe you take the soccer ball charms off the chains and string them onto short leather strings...maybe use it on the zipper pull of his sports duffle bag?

Or take them off and put them on a key ring. Then they could have matching key rings. Most of their friends wouldn't notice, as they don't take them out until they need to get in their front door.

As for guys wearing jewelry, Gerard Butler was wearing them in the movie, P.S. I Love You. There was nothing girlie about him wearing them in that film. He had on a neck chain ad a few bracelets. Here is a clip if him here in it, in his divine masculinity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZkIA5ks-8A&feature=related

 

[mjkacmom]

There you have it. Our differences are equal. Equal but separate. Justification for actions. Nope, that's not discriminatory at all, is it? ("This is your brain on drugs.")




I guess my kids will be much better prepared to deal with closed minds and inappropriate behavior. At least 3 of them in this world will be able to do something besides continue the status quo. And feel a lot better about themselves than the "normal," separately equalized kids.

My girls will just have to try to feel better about themselves by shaving their legs, waxing their eyebrows, and my boys will have to live with not wearing makeup. Fortunately, they're okay with it. However, if the boys decide to have a secret panty festish, more power to them. However, I'd appreciate it if they kept it private, and not wear fishnets to the annual Thanksgiving dinner.

 

[mjkacmom]

There you have it. Our differences are equal. Equal but separate. Justification for actions. Nope, that's not discriminatory at all, is it? ("This is your brain on drugs.")

.

Actually, how to you explain people who are transgendered? People who are one gender, but know they are biologically the other gender? Or those who were born a certain gender, but were raised the other gender (ie - a baby with misformed genitalia), who live in confusion their entire lives, because they feel like they're not the sex they are supposed to be? And it's equal but different, not separate.

 

[N&B'smom]

My girls will just have to try to feel better about themselves by shaving their legs, waxing their eyebrows, and my boys will have to live with not wearing makeup. Fortunately, they're okay with it. However, if the boys decide to have a secret panty festish, more power to them. However, I'd appreciate it if they kept it private, and not wear fishnets to the annual Thanksgiving dinner.

As for the question that was posted...'does your son wear jewelry?'

No, my DS11 has never worn jewelry of any kind and has no interest whatsoever. My DD7 does though.

 

[Kat77]

Yes, my boys wear jewelry. Mostly crosses and fish symbols on leather strings, very rustic in style. This is what they have picked out for themselves.

No, I would not let my son exchange a BF necklace. I think it would set them up for teasing and possibly ruin a friendship. Not worth the risk.

Buy your son a woodburning kit and let him make a leather bracelet or keychain for his friend. Both my sons have received keychains from their scout friends as gifts. They all used them as backpack pulls in elementary school.