Does your son wear jewelry?

[jeepgirl30]

I'm jotting this down as one of my personal all time weird DIS threads, ever - in regards to people's opinions.

Yeah - I'm sure all the boys who have worn jewelery or pink or have danced or wore nail polish or accepted a gift from their best buddy.... they're all in the closet.... at age 8.

My boys did all of the above, they're 15 and 19, and not gay. Nor were they thought to be gay. Nor did any one tease them for being gay.

FTR - Joey reallllly liked N'Sync during their "Bye Bye Bye" days. He realllly wanted a T-Shirt, but they didn't make boy N'Sync T-Shirts. So, we found a girl one - to which all his friends: (multiple choice)

a) threw stones at him and called him gay slurs.
b) asked where he got it, and ended up getting their own girl N'Sync shirt.

The answer is B.

What a weird thread.

LOL, love the response! I am betting a few other kids go buy the same necklace. I knew I'd get a few over the top responses but had no idea the majority would assume gay. crazy.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My DS13 and I had a long ride together in the car the other day so I thought I'd pick his brain about this. He didn't see an issue with any of it - until I got to the part about buying at a girls' store. Then he balked a bit but I still don't think he was completely opposed to the idea. He has a best friend since kindergarten who I think he was thinking this would be something he'd be comfortable doing with him. FTR, he is a "jock".

 

[CathrynRose]

I didn't mean to sound *too* snarky (a bit yes.... ) but this really irritates me.

I remember my son being maybe 3/4-ish. We went for a walk, on a gorgeous spring day, and stumbled across a garage sale. They had a mini big wheel (remember the big wheels....but the smaller kids ones?) He went up and down the drive way a few times and then just begggggged to have it. Please, please, please. It was only $1!! But it was pink.

I even asked him - you sure? It's not your favorite color. (at that time, everything he owned had to be blue. Blue this, blue that, blue blue blue...) He didn't care. Yes, yes! I'm sure!

He rode that little thing around the block, and all the way home on our walk - just beaming! BEAMING! He was thrilled to pieces.

He loved that silly little big wheel so much, he wanted to bring it to Grandma & Grandpa's (my ex-in-laws) house. So, we loaded it into the car when we went over there on Easter - maybe a week later.

My ex FIL. Man, I'm still so MAD about this (and my son is nineteen, now!!!!) He was *SO* excited to show them. SO SO excited to show them his 'motorcycle'. my Ex FIL would NOT stop about the color. Asking my son if he was a girl. On and on and on.... And then my ExMIL giggled a bit. Sick!!!

Joey didn't want anything to do with it anymore. Nothing. It still breaks my heart remember seeing his little face just drop.

I spray painted it. I spray painted the whole thing black. Finally... he had his little "motorcycle" back. But as the paint would chip off, he was done. That Christmas, we bought him a new *Boy* (huge eyeroll) one. (which BTW was the absolute HARDEST thing I've ever had to put together. I told my ExH to go to bed, I got it. I was in the garage slamming, pounding...ended up in tears...LOL! but I got it!)

Anyone who thinks like that, or thinks they should have a talk with their young son about "not looking gay" is out of their stinking mind, IMO. Truly. All you're doing is kicking their self esteem.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I didn't mean to sound *too* snarky (a bit yes.... ) but this really irritates me.

I remember my son being maybe 2/3-ish. We went for a walk, on a gorgeous spring day, and stumbled across a garage sale. They had a mini big wheel (remember the big wheels....but the smaller kids ones?) He went up and down the drive way a few times and then just begggggged to have it. Please, please, please. It was only $1!! But it was pink.

I even asked him - you sure? It's not your favorite color. (at that time, everything he owned had to be blue. Blue this, blue that, blue blue blue...) He didn't care. Yes, yes! I'm sure!

He rode that little thing around the block, and all the way home on our walk - just beaming! BEAMING! He was thrilled to pieces.

He loved that silly little big wheel so much, he wanted to bring it to Grandma & Grandpa's (my ex-in-laws) house. So, we loaded it into the car when we went over there on Easter - maybe a week later.

My ex FIL. Man, I'm still so MAD about this (and my son is nineteen, now!!!!) Joey was so excited to show him his 'motorcycle'. my Ex FIL would NOT stop about the color. Asking my son if he was a girl. On and on and on....

Joey didn't want anything to do with it anymore. Nothing. It still breaks my heart remember seeing his little face just drop.

I spray painted it. I spray painted the whole thing black. Finally... he had his little "motorcycle" back. But as the paint would chip off, he was done. That Christmas, we bought him a new *Boy* (huge eyeroll) one.

Anyone who thinks like that, or thinks they should have a talk with their young son about "not looking gay" is out of their stinking mind, IMO. Truly. All you're doing is kicking their self esteem.

I would like to nominate this for post of the year (and your ex father in law for crappy grandpa of whatever year that was).

 

[CathrynRose]

I would like to nominate this for post of the year (and your ex father in law for crappy grandpa of whatever year that was).

Thanks!

I have more examples of both my boys apparently being in the closet.

See this hoodie:

It's a girls hoodie. But it's Lil Wayne, and both my boys love Lil Wayne. Anyways... my youngest son has a pair of Nike's that are the same colors of that hoodie. So, even though it was a girls hoodie, I knew my younger son would like it. I bought it, for his birthday - he loved it.

Then.... my older son saw it. He was mad. Mad because I'm subjecting my 15 y/o to being tormented for his closet gay-ness by wearing a girls hoodie? No! Mad I didn't get him one, too.

So, now they both have Lil Wayne girl hoodies. And again - their friends (whom also like Lil Wayne) are actually mad because they can longer find the Lil Wayne girl hoodie and will periodically ask to borrow it.

You're right Hadley. It is absolutely the parents who perpetuate this "People are gonna think you're gay!" attitude.

 

[jeepgirl30]

OP back. Time has passed and I'd like to let everyone know my son is doing just fine. No teasing, no signs of him being gay, no hard feelings, etc!

The soccer necklace was given to the friend. The boys haven't mentioned it but i haven't seen it. Boys are still #1 best friends AND have been selected to play on a sort of All Stars indoor team. My son is one of the top rated players by the other players AND parents. One mom came up to me at the last game and said "oh are you __'s Mom" I said yes and she started telling me how excited her son was they were on the same bus and how much her son looks up to mine.

So i guess i didn't scar him for life!

Sometimes we should let kids be kids and work it out for themselves i guess. Maybe its the parents attitudes that teach the kids how to react??