Does your child go to college but live at home?

[DebbieB]

My nephew just finished his freshman year, he's also a light rail away from home so he commutes. He's pre-med so it's very expensive. Not sure if he plans to move out before he finishes. I think it would be good for him to live away from home, he is a quiet kid who isn't very social. According to my brother, all his time after school was spent studying. It paid off, he made the Dean's List last semester.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think you can get an education, but the college experience one gets while living off campus is pretty limited.

Well, the education IS the goal

For me, dorm life was like a repeat of Summer camp, but with a lot less girls (engineering school). I guess if I'd have gone to a school that was competing for a National Championship in football or something, that would have been fun. I spent time at home at JuCo, a year in a dorm, and a year off campus in an apartment, so I pretty much experienced the gamut. For me, the "on campus experience", looking back? Meaningless. But, it's different for everyone.

 

[Happy Snowman]

I think you can get an education, but the college experience one gets while living off campus is pretty limited.

I would agree with this--and from what kids we know that have lived at home said, they really don't feel included in activities on campus. If that is important to you, then living at home is not a good plan .

Our kids have always lived on campus. I think that is an important part of being in college and they wanted to live on campus so that is a win/win . The schools they attended/attend have all had on-campus housing for 4 years, apartments for the last two, but still on campus. They were fortunate enough to get scholarships to cover most of their costs so that is helpful as well since we don't qualify for any financial aid. Their debt will be nothing too . They are/were dean's list students so they aren't having too much fun .

In the end, the decision needs to be the child's no matter what they do.

 

[Colleen27]

I think you can get an education, but the college experience one gets while living off campus is pretty limited.

I think that depends on the student, the college, and the commute. A lot of times what I see around me is that the students commuting to college have such a long drive that they basically just go for their classes, but a few of our friends who live in college towns say that living at home hasn't stopped their kids from being super involved at school. Two of them have kids who lived at school freshman year but stayed home for the rest, and living 5-10min from the campus that didn't hamper their involvement any.

I don't plan to give my the option of living at home during college unless they limit themselves to the local community college. Right now my son is the only one of the three that I think is likely to choose that route, so I expect my girls will both live on campus at whatever school they attend. The commute is just too long to even the closest university, and I'd rather foot the bill for room & board than for a 100 mile round-trip to attend as a commuter student.

 

[EMode]

If my kids go to any one of the local colleges they'll probably stay home. Why waste the money for housing to get the college experience, its not like I'm going to forbid them to do anything just because they are living here.

 

[EMode]

I think kids can have the "college experience" without actually living on campus.

Of course they can. They can still even manage to become independent productive happy adults with memories of their college experience that last a lifetime. I've seen the on campus college experience, its not all its cracked up to be.

 

[Pigeon]

It depends on how you define the "college experience." I think there is some merit to living on campus and participating in dorm and university life. It's a lot of fun and it can be life-changing.

There is also merit in not taking on unnecessary debt and/or saving educational funding for graduate school.

Life involves a lot of trade-offs. We are saving enough for our kids to pay for four years on campus at a state university. One of them will want to spend four years on campus. The other one is leaning toward living at home and using the extra money for post-graduate professional school.

There's no one right answer for everyone.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Thank you!
I'd also like to mention that thanks to the commuting to college life style and a working full time, I saved enough money to take my MOTHER to Disney World in 2009 and we also went to WWOHP opening week! Just my way to say "Thank You" to her. She had never been on a plane before the 2009 trip. We never went on vacation when we were younger because with 6 of us in the house and something always need fixing...we were always making ends meat. So I wanted her to relax and have fun. She loved the Disney Cruise! I know I'm gloating but I love giving special trips and gifts to my parents! I rather go to Disney World than live in a college dorm!

I like your style. There's a lot to be said for knowing what you want, and working hard to make it happen. That's maturity. You also have a generous spirit. Your mom must be very proud of you.

 

[minkydog]

My DD21 started at a 4-yr university. She liked the college life, but she hated being 4 hours from home. After the first year she moved home and transferred to a technical school about 2 miles from the house. She spent a 18 months at home, working toward a degree in culinary arts and gathering herself.

Last January, she finally felt that she was up to moving on. She moved in with her best friend and transferred to another tech school about 75 miles away, in Athens, GA. A large number of her graduating class is going to UGA, including her friend, so it's been a win-win. The tech school has only public college with a baking program as well a straight AS in culinary (she is specializing in baking & patisserie). DD begins her second internship this semester and she is set to graduate with everything next May.

I'm really glad she took some time to really figure out what she wanted to do and how to get there. Living at home really helped her to get back on her feet, after a rather meh university year. Plus, she didn't have to take on anymore student loans.

 

[Deb in IA]

Of course they can. They can still even manage to become independent productive happy adults with memories of their college experience that last a lifetime. I've seen the on campus college experience, its not all its cracked up to be.

It depends on how you define the "college experience." I think there is some merit to living on campus and participating in dorm and university life. It's a lot of fun and it can be life-changing.

There is also merit in not taking on unnecessary debt and/or saving educational funding for graduate school.

Life involves a lot of trade-offs. We are saving enough for our kids to pay for four years on campus at a state university. One of them will want to spend four years on campus. The other one is leaning toward living at home and using the extra money for post-graduate professional school.

There's no one right answer for everyone.

I agree with both of you.


I loved going 180 miles away from home to college. I did well, both socially and academically.

That said, my kids are NOT me. As I noted earlier, our DD lived in the dorms for 2 years - and hated it. She asked to come home, and was much, much happier. She was involved in several campus groups and activities, and finished her degree on the Dean's List.

Our DS finished his freshman year, also living at home. He is active in the university Tae Kwon Do team and sings with the University Choir (an auditioned group). He goes to the dorm to eat lunch (we bought him a meal plan), but he comes home to study and sleep. He is also happy with this arrangment, and so are we.

Some kids do well, but I don't think everyone has to live on campus to have a "campus experience".

 

[MamaLema]

DS is starting community college in the fall. He didn't even consider anything else. We live in a big city with many colleges and universities so he had a lot of options.

I went to community college and never felt like I missed out on anything, and grew up to be an independent adult