Does your child go to college but live at home?

[mom2rtk]

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

You can't generalize like that. This generation of kids is facing higher education costs that have increased for YEARS at rates far higher than the general rate of inflation. This generation of kids is facing a questionable job market when they graduate.

I would never recommend to one of my kids that they go substantially into debt to add a little "adventure" to their college years. Sure, some parents can afford to write a check for that extra room and board.... or shall we say....adventure. But if it means going into debt? I'd NEVER recommend that if it can be avoided.

There's a girl working at our local JoAnn's. She's living at home with mom and dad as a college GRADUATE and working there just to pay her school loans. I'd rather my kids minimize what they have to borrow so they can get out on their own quicker when they DO graduate.

 

[RitaE]

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

Well - I'm 43 years old and 20-whatever years ago when I was in college there were many commuter students. It isn't like this is a new trend of Generation Y.

As for the "adventure" I'd suggest you go read that article that was posted by the 20-something who can't afford to work in her chosen field, can't afford to do volunteer work, cant get a graduate level degree, and has no time in her life to do anything but work at her two jobs in order to make her student loan payments. From looking at her $100k in student loan debt I don't really see much changing for her for the next 10 to 15 years.

Sounds kind of miserable to me, but I guess she got her college "adventure."

 

[LisaR]

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

Have you checked out the housing that is now available to this generation of kids?

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/sep/04/business/la-fi-luxury-student-housing-20110904



This isn't just an LA thing. The housing around UCF in Orlando is insane, as well. The newest place has a 42" plasma in the living room and 32" plasma in each bedroom. There are granite counter tops, four pools, a public gaming room with PS3 and Xbox consoles and huge TV's. These apartments cost about the same as the dorms. But if you insist on dorm living, don't worry because they all offer house cleaning as part of the fee.

Is this the college adventure you fear this generation is missing out on? Kids are moving back home in droves after graduating college because they can't find a job, especially one that supports the lifestyle they have been accustomed too. Most people I know from my generation were thrilled to move into our first apartment after college graduation because it was a huge step up from college living. Not today's generation. The only way they can afford those luxuries are if mom and dad continue to foot the bill.

I would much rather have my kids live at home until they are 22, then move out for good into something they can afford instead of footing the bill for a luxury apartment at 18, only to have them back on my doorstep at 22.

 

[NotUrsula]

Have you checked out the housing that is now available to this generation of kids?

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/sep/04/business/la-fi-luxury-student-housing-20110904



This isn't just an LA thing. The housing around UCF in Orlando is insane, as well. The newest place has a 42" plasma in the living room and 32" plasma in each bedroom. There are granite counter tops, four pools, a public gaming room with PS3 and Xbox consoles and huge TV's. These apartments cost about the same as the dorms. But if you insist on dorm living, don't worry because they all offer house cleaning as part of the fee.

Is this the college adventure you fear this generation is missing out on? Kids are moving back home in droves after graduating college because they can't find a job, especially one that supports the lifestyle they have been accustomed too. Most people I know from my generation were thrilled to move into our first apartment after college graduation because it was a huge step up from college living. Not today's generation. The only way they can afford those luxuries are if mom and dad continue to foot the bill.

I would much rather have my kids live at home until they are 22, then move out for good into something they can afford instead of footing the bill for a luxury apartment at 18, only to have them back on my doorstep at 22.

IME, that is only some of the housing that is available, and it is usually the smaller part of it, too. As it happens, I have a good friend who works for the company that is the leading provider of such housing. It's a very profitable market, but it is a niche, and a small one at that. At every school where they have a facility the number of "ordinary" campus housing units far outnumber the luxury versions.

 

[mom2rtk]

IME, that is only some of the housing that is available, and it is usually the smaller part of it, too. As it happens, I have a good friend who works for the company that is the leading provider of such housing. It's a very profitable market, but it is a niche, and a small one at that. At every school where they have a facility the number of "ordinary" campus housing units far outnumber the luxury versions.

Regardless.......... it doesn't change the point I made or that several others have made. Even room and board at an average ordinary campus facility is a lot of money. 6 to 7K a year where we are. If my child were attending school within commuting distance, I would find it hard to justify that they go 25k further in debt to finance an "adventure".

 

[LisaR]

IME, that is only some of the housing that is available, and it is usually the smaller part of it, too. As it happens, I have a good friend who works for the company that is the leading provider of such housing. It's a very profitable market, but it is a niche, and a small one at that. At every school where they have a facility the number of "ordinary" campus housing units far outnumber the luxury versions.

I do agree that at this time, the ordinary housing outnumbers the luxury housing. However, it is a growing trend at all the schools we have visited. College campuses are not like they used to be (at least they aren't what they were like when I went to school). In my day, you ate at the gross cafeteria, you cleaned your own dorm, and things just weren't as new, clean, or updated as they are now. I have yet to visit a campus now that doesn't have a pool and housekeeping services. Most have multiple restaurants to choose from. The vast majority have state of the art recreation centers. I am certainly not saying they are all like this but it is definitely a trend with many we have visited or contacted. It is like we are sending our kids away to a spa for four years instead of a college.

 

[herdtoDisney]

My ds' school has one of those fancy-schmancy complexes too. I don't know who all can afford to live in it! But, all the dorms are typical 70's cinderblock boxes. He actually is in a suite this year, in a new building-it's very nice, but cheaper than the dorm actually, and with the kitchen he saved a lot on the meals plan. I told him, don't go getting used to that fancy central AC though we don't have that at home. It has some other nice features, an elevator to the floor, big bathrooms and flashing doorlights-because it is accessible for handicapped-Deaf/HOH.

He says, being in a suite with 8 is no problem because he's used to living in our home of 7, LOL. The school itself has a pool and workout areas-good for them to keep active in the long winter. So I don't grudge them that. If a parent wants to pay for the fancy complex, have at it-my kid thinks he moved on up to the east side, because of the AC

 

[mom2rtk]

I do agree that at this time, the ordinary housing outnumbers the luxury housing. However, it is a growing trend at all the schools we have visited. College campuses are not like they used to be (at least they aren't what they were like when I went to school). In my day, you ate at the gross cafeteria, you cleaned your own dorm, and things just weren't as new, clean, or updated as they are now. I have yet to visit a campus now that doesn't have a pool and housekeeping services. Most have multiple restaurants to choose from. The vast majority have state of the art recreation centers. I am certainly not saying they are all like this but it is definitely a trend with many we have visited or contacted. It is like we are sending our kids away to a spa for four years instead of a college.

Seriously? Housekeeping and a pool?

I think I need a graduate degree. I wonder if my family would mind if I decided to live on campus!

 

[LisaR]

Seriously? Housekeeping and a pool?

I think I need a graduate degree. I wonder if my family would mind if I decided to live on campus!

Yep! And honestly, the price difference between the luxury place and the dorms really isn't that big of a difference.

Two semesters of housing only in a dorm is about $4800 without the mandatory meal plan.

Two semesters in the luxury place is $5400. This has a full kitchen and a meal plan isn't offered.

I read about colleges in some of the winter states that offer tunnels so the kids never have to go outside in the snow or rain.

I imagine college life would have been different for me if I had my choice of restaurants on campus, never had to traipse through the snow, and could relax away my stress in multiple hot tubs and pools. And somehow I am suppose to believe that this is helping my 18 y/o grow up?

 

[NotUrsula]

In my day, you ate at the gross cafeteria, you cleaned your own dorm, and things just weren't as new, clean, or updated as they are now. I have yet to visit a campus now that doesn't have a pool and housekeeping services. Most have multiple restaurants to choose from. The vast majority have state of the art recreation centers.

I graduated from college 28 years ago. My school had a huge pool, not in the dorms, but it happened to be across the street from the dorm I lived in, so I swam every morning before class. FWIW, the pool was built in 1930. We also had several restaurants, including 3 in the Union building that was built in the early 1960's. All of the various dorm complexes had their own cafeterias, but if you had a meal card you could use it at any of the cafeteria/fast-food facilities. (Table-service restaurants were not on the plan.) There were rec centers, too, and while they were perhaps not state-of-the-art, they were well-equipped for the era. We also had a campus bowling alley, two theatres, a hotel, and several bars. Housekeeping wasn't provided in regular dorm rooms, but they did have it in the common areas, and the athletic dorms had it in the rooms -- it was a perk for them. I knew people who would clean other students' rooms for a price; it was a nice way to make cash income.

FWIW, it was one of those big SEC schools.

 

[herdtoDisney]

I read about colleges in some of the winter states that offer tunnels so the kids never have to go outside in the snow or rain.

?

My ds' school has some of these (it connects dorms and dining, but not to the classroom buildings, so they do go outside). They are not only so they don't go out, but the communal laundry rooms are down there, it is utility access also, and even the post office is down there! It isn't just for luxury.

 

[mom2rtk]

Now that I think about it. I DID have an adventure living on campus. You had to use the common bathrooms at the end of the hall. I wonder if it's because it was a Big 10 school????

At least I didn't come out of school with the sort of debt many of today's students have.

 

[LisaR]

I graduated from college 28 years ago. My school had a huge pool, not in the dorms, but it happened to be across the street from the dorm I lived in, so I swam every morning before class. FWIW, the pool was built in 1930. We also had several restaurants, including 3 in the Union building that was built in the early 1960's. All of the various dorm complexes had their own cafeterias, but if you had a meal card you could use it at any of the cafeteria/fast-food facilities. (Table-service restaurants were not on the plan.) There were rec centers, too, and while they were perhaps not state-of-the-art, they were well-equipped for the era. We also had a campus bowling alley, two theatres, a hotel, and several bars. Housekeeping wasn't provided in regular dorm rooms, but they did have it in the common areas, and the athletic dorms had it in the rooms -- it was a perk for them. I knew people who would clean other students' rooms for a price; it was a nice way to make cash income.

FWIW, it was one of those big SEC schools.

Now that I think about it. I DID have an adventure living on campus. You had to use the common bathrooms at the end of the hall. I wonder if it's because it was a Big 10 school????

At least I didn't come out of school with the sort of debt many of today's students have.

I think we have found the pattern. The Big 10 schools didn't have the luxuries but at least we had better football than those SEC schools!

 

[mom2rtk]

I think we have found the pattern. The Big 10 schools didn't have the luxuries but at least we had better football than those SEC schools!

Speak for yourself. I went to Northwestern. When I was a freshman the team won a game. I didn't know what the big deal was until someone told me the SENIORS were seeing them win for the first time since they entered school 4 years earlier!

 

[NotUrsula]

I think we have found the pattern. The Big 10 schools didn't have the luxuries but at least we had better football than those SEC schools!

Not when I was there. The AP national champions those years were:

Alabama
Georgia
Clemson (not an SEC member, but it ain't in the Big 10 )

And last but not least, Penn State; which was an independent at the time.

(And none of this is more than tongue in check, btw; I just happen to be one of those people who LIKE college football.)

 

[Tink9721]

Tink, other than a few minor differences, your note could have been written by my own DD - she's a junior, and she has a younger brother as well as both parents at home.

DD DID live in the dorm in her freshman (double with a friend from high school) and sophomore (single room) years. She did not like it. Period.

She is much happier now, and like you, has friends, is enjoying her classes, and has plenty of extracurricular activities.

I'm glad to hear that she's happier now I just really don't think I would enjoy dorm life either. So far commuting is working out really well for me and I love it

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

It's completely different from high school. For one thing I'm going to school with a ton of people I don't know instead of the same group of kids I've been with for 12 years. It's a whole new, unfamiliar place. Just because I'm not living there doesn't mean it's not an adventure for the 7-8 hours a day I'm on campus. It's a whole new experience even if I'm living at home.

And I'm also factoring in the fact that it costs over $10,000 a year to live on campus, not including the meal plan.

 

[amg35]

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

Wow, this thread is funny! I never thought I'd read where people have negative opinions of kids who stay home and go to college.

I live in a big city, went to the university in the city and had a job. Lived at home.
I could make a movie about my "adventures". And they had nothing to do with college. Oh, I'm 37.

Thank god my parents had the sense to strongly suggest I attend the college at home. At 17/18 they knew much better than I did that I was not mature enough to go away to school. I hated school, (still do), and needed the constant threat of my dad.

The stuff I did while living at home during college, I can't imagine if I went away. Within two months of graduating I had my first job, a little less than a year after that, had my first apartment.

I won't be having children, but if I did, I would have no problem with them staying home and going to school. Maybe it's different if you live in rural areas?

And, um, let's talk maturity. All the recent grads who come straight from campus living to living apartment life in the city. Worst neighbors ever. Everytime. And yes I'm generalizing, but it's what I experience. They can't let go of the college "experience" and act like they still live on a campus.
Guess what, you don't. You are among people with jobs who have to get up in the morning for work, don't want to you screaming from your deck about how great your night was, dropping plants and beer bottles from your deck with your 50 closest friends at 2 in the morning on a Wednesday.

Yes, I'm bitter right now!

 

[Robinrs]

I can't say how it is or isn't where you are, I don't live there. But I know what its like here. College football is a big thing here. Its a big thing in a LOT of the south.

I'm not sure why you think talking about pro teams is somehow better than college teams??? Whatever. I am not really "into" either.

The tailgating parties are a huge part of college football and they can be a big networking event. They can be a useful tool. Doesn't mean everyone has to use that tool. (there are a huge number of people that go to the tailgating parties and never set foot in the football games)

I am just saying (actually it was another poster that even brought this up) that it can be useful to know a little about college football. I wouldn't sit and watch a game just so I could talk about the details, but just know enough to say "that was a close game" or "bulldogs did pretty good on Saturday". Southern men like to talk and they like to talk about common interest and football can be that common interest someone can spark between them and someone higher up the chain or a client or customer or whatever.

As for hunting and fishing, if the men you know grew up in another part of the south; more of them may have hunted and fished before moving to Atlanta than you realize. Actually what I said was that I don't find it to be as big a thing as football like another poster said it was in her area.

It's a big thing here, too, but not with me. I've been an executive most of my working life and for most of the years here in the South and never had to get into any conversation about that stuff ever. And neither has my son. We're both in the entertainment industry so I guess it's different with us.

I hardly said that pro was better, it's just all I know.

 

[Aisling]

So how is this different from high school? Of course it's comfortable to have all your own stuff around you....but where's the adventure in staying home.

I just don't get this generation of kids.

My kids lived/is living at home for college for financial reasons. They will be debt-free when they graduate.

To reply to the bolded, we live in NYC and if my kids vision of adventure is clubbing, they can go to a different club every single night and not hit the same one twice. There are hundreds here. Same thing with restaurants, museums, concerts, sporting events (Yankee, Mets, Knicks, Nets, Jets, Giants, Rangers, Islanders etc.) There are so many universities and colleges here they can go to multiple homecomings and football/basketball games.

If they want to ski, they all jump in a car and drive 2 hours to the Poconos or the Catskills.

If they want to make a few extra dollars, there are currently 23 TV shows being made here and lots of movies that are always looking for college-aged extras.

The only things they're missing out on by not living in a dorm are the orgies. I think they can live with that. Unless they have their orgy places that I don't know about.

 

[luvsJack]

It's a big thing here, too, but not with me. I've been an executive most of my working life and for most of the years here in the South and never had to get into any conversation about that stuff ever. And neither has my son. We're both in the entertainment industry so I guess it's different with us.

I hardly said that pro was better, it's just all I know.

Ahhh. That makes sense! You are right, it probably is different in the industry you are in.

It could very well be different in your part of the south too. Sometimes I think it gets a little crazy around here during football season. I have friends on FB that are arguing right now over the college teams.

I do know several men that keep up with the schedules and the scores as a topic of conversation in dealing with their clients/customers/bosses. And if they really want to make an impression, they buy tickets to the "big" games for them.