Does your child go to college but live at home?

[Swan4Me]

Nothing unless you want your children to go to school that chokes at the Championship against an SEC team!! I was joking!!! Apparently you and some others are not aware of the rivalries that go on between schools and conferences in college football.

Oh I am aware-and *I* was aware what an SEC school is and the stupid rivalry that goes on-I was joking too-

When you kid has a talent -you look to what the school has to offer-not if they have a wowser Football team

News flash- Senior LSU's starting Quarterback just got arrested and kicked out of school, ruining his Pro Football chances. This is the kind of hero worship the rabid fans are cheerring ?????????

 

[luvsJack]

Oh I am aware-and *I* was aware what an SEC school is and the stupid rivalry that goes on-I was joking too-

When you kid has a talent -you look to what the school has to offer-not if they have a wowser Football team

News flash- Senior LSU's starting Quarterback just got arrested and kicked out of school, ruining his Pro Football chances. This is the kind of hero worship the rabid fans are cheerring ?????????

To be fair, for most of the college football fans its the team not an individual player.

These players are kids and kids do stupid things. That kid did something REALLY stupid. Playing football doesn't make them smarter, or more mature. Just makes them an athlete.

 

[beachcomber]

I commuted for four years and worked as well. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

Now I have three kids and the oldest just started high school. If they all want to go away, I am fine with that too.

BUT....I am not fine with sending them off to "experience" college life and then have them come out deep in debt and have trouble finding a job that pays them enough to live comfortably and still pay off the debt.

I think it is a lot harder today to get a good financial leg up than when I graduated. Unfortunately, many kids are graduating and still making the same amount a lot of parents did 20 years ago at their first job. Problem there is that the parents had $10,000 or whatever in loans to pay off and now these kids have upwards of five to ten times that amount of debt. Just not the way I want my kids starting out their adult lives.

Much rather have them graduate with little to no debt and then go experience whatever they want the rest of their lives.

Should be interestng...

Exactly. I'll even add that I'd rather have them GRADUATE with GOOD grades, relevant work experience, and a JOB....than fully experience college life (if college life only includes tailgating, drinking, staying up late, etc.).

 

[JoanGirardi]

I have two sons in college and living at home right now, and my daughter is a HS senior on the brink of this decision for herself. My sons go to parties, attend school functions, and seem to be surviving just fine without the "full college experience". I dormed for college, and my husband lived at home for his. We have both turned out just fine. The kid has to decide what they want to do, and the $10,000 or more per year to live on campus was a huge deterrent and the deciding factor for both my sons.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I commuted for four years and worked as well. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

Now I have three kids and the oldest just started high school. If they all want to go away, I am fine with that too.

BUT....I am not fine with sending them off to "experience" college life and then have them come out deep in debt and have trouble finding a job that pays them enough to live comfortably and still pay off the debt.

I think it is a lot harder today to get a good financial leg up than when I graduated. Unfortunately, many kids are graduating and still making the same amount a lot of parents did 20 years ago at their first job. Problem there is that the parents had $10,000 or whatever in loans to pay off and now these kids have upwards of five to ten times that amount of debt. Just not the way I want my kids starting out their adult lives.

Much rather have them graduate with little to no debt and then go experience whatever they want the rest of their lives.

Should be interestng...

Exactly. I'll even add that I'd rather have them GRADUATE with GOOD grades, relevant work experience, and a JOB....than fully experience college life (if college life only includes tailgating, drinking, staying up late, etc.).

My DD is going to a state university because she wanted to go away and we all didn't want a big debt at graduation. She loves her school and it has worked out well so far.
I have a another DD who will be going Fall 2012. Right now she wants to go away but we are also looking at the colleges at home in Long Island.

 

[FINFAN]

so I asked my DS who is a Senior this year to take an informal poll at school....he was able to get about 160 answers 86 of them checked off Community College...so pretty much 50-50. He said that most said for their Gen Ed classes they don't want to spend the $..want to be able to go away for Spring Breaks/etc AND they figure better to live at home with full fridges, cars,keeping thier current jobs , having some spending $, etc. now at a younger age and then be able to move out once they graduate because they won't have debt, or at least livable debt. That being said, our CC is very highly rated and we have great transportation into Chicago for kids to spend their weekends their, DS many like having that option over a college town. I hadn't even thought of that. The other half voted saying they busted their butts getting their grades, scholarships are better Freshman year, $ was not an issue for many, so they are going no matter what. The good thing about this? Both sides had very valid reasons for their choices which means they are in control, thinking about it, sounds like a good crop heading off to college next year.

 

[Ceila]

What is with the two ends of the extreme I see here from a few posters (NOT everyone!)??? On the one side is "kids who live at home are immature" and on the other side is "the only thing kids who live on campus do is drink, party, and tailgate."

I lived on campus and gained quite a lot from the experience. Personally, I hope my kids do choose to go that route because I believe they would benefit as well. However, I also realize that they might have different wishes, and I will respect that if it happens.

I also know that the decision to live on campus or not is very personal and very individual, and I would never judge someone based solely on that like some here seem to do.

 

[bengalbelle]

Oh I am aware-and *I* was aware what an SEC school is and the stupid rivalry that goes on-I was joking too-

When you kid has a talent -you look to what the school has to offer-not if they have a wowser Football team

News flash- Senior LSU's starting Quarterback just got arrested and kicked out of school, ruining his Pro Football chances. This is the kind of hero worship the rabid fans are cheerring ?????????

News flash - fans are overwhelmingly against Jordan Jefferson. He was fairly unpopular before the incident and even more so now. There are fans here and there who would like him reinstated, but most everything I read/hear supports his supension from the team (as do I).

Please provide a link to where he was kicked out of school because AFAIK he's still there.

What you will hear are people (on both sides of the story) hoping he's not being unfairly prosecuted because he is the starting QB for a nationally ranked team. There are a lot of questions about what really happened that night, the character of the victims, and the bias of the witnesses. I haven't seen those things reported much in the local media. I had to dig to find it. While I am not a fan of JJ, I also do not want him unfairly accused or prosecuted. He has a good attorney and I'm glad for it.

I'm also LOL at the pro football chances. First and foremost, I doubt he ever had a chance. Second, I've never known the NFL to discriminate against criminals.

There are plenty of non-SEC schools with troubled football players whose fans worship them (the team) too. The SEC pile on is always fun, though.


We live 10 minutes from the university both of my kids plan to attend but I would still encourage my children to live on campus, at least for their first year. I do think you have a different experience (not better...different) living on campus and it makes it much easier to be involved and get to know other students. If they make a different choice, so be it.

I did both. I lived in an apartment near campus my first year and commuted after. I do wish I'd stayed in the apartment longer, but it is what it is. It was much easier for me to work when I commuted since my job was close to home, not school.


I also think sports are a major draw for many when looking at universities. For some, it's part of the college experience. I do hope my children end up at schools with good programs for their majors AND good athletic programs. If you couldn't care less about sports and it has no bearing on your college search, fine. As season ticket holders college football is a big part of our lives anyway. I don't think it's unreasonable to want that as part of our academic experiences as well.

 

[beachcomber]

What is with the two ends of the extreme I see here from a few posters (NOT everyone!)??? On the one side is "kids who live at home are immature" and on the other side is "the only thing kids who live on campus do is drink, party, and tailgate."

I lived on campus and gained quite a lot from the experience. Personally, I hope my kids do choose to go that route because I believe they would benefit as well. However, I also realize that they might have different wishes, and I will respect that if it happens.

I also know that the decision to live on campus or not is very personal and very individual, and I would never judge someone based solely on that like some here seem to do.

For the record...I'm not on either extreme. But I don't see things in black and white and can't imagine pushing living on campus as the only option for college attendance.

 

[Planogirl]

Nothing unless you want your children to go to school that chokes at the Championship against an SEC team!! I was joking!!! Apparently you and some others are not aware of the rivalries that go on between schools and conferences in college football.

I admit that I'm not because I don't really care about such things. Except of course the Texas/OU rivalry which is crazy here!

 

[Buckalew11]

I'm getting the impression that reading comprehension isn't something they push too much at those amazing SEC schools

I refrained from saying that. But guilty because I thought it!

And for the record, I'm not someone who thinks SEC schools are all about parties, sports and tailgating. As I said, I'd like my DD to stay on campus but it'll be all about $$ for us.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

There is a part of me that sometimes thinks that choosing to go to university in my home town would have been the better decision because I would have saved like $30,000 so far, but I put that thought aside and look at the bigger picture - that I am achieving my dream.

You sound like a lovely and smart young lady and I've enjoyed reading your posts on this thread. This did remind me of an article someone posted here on the Dis last spring that I saved for my own kids (in a file I started for them for college planning which isn't too far away for us). I know your situation isn't exactly the same, but I thought you (and others, if they haven't seen it already) might enjoy reading it anyway. Best wishes to you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenna-levine/jenna-levine-26-graduate-_b_823081.html

 

[MUFFYCAT]

You sound like a lovely and smart young lady and I've enjoyed reading your posts on this thread. This did remind me of an article someone posted here on the Dis last spring that I saved for my own kids (in a file I started for them for college planning which isn't too far away for us). I know your situation isn't exactly the same, but I thought you (and others, if they haven't seen it already) might enjoy reading it anyway. Best wishes to you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jenna-levine/jenna-levine-26-graduate-_b_823081.html

Thanks, great article!

 

[Swan4Me]

From the above quoted article-

I'm 26-years -old and I always feel like I am looking down the barrel of a gun. I have had to turn down jobs that were perfectly suited for me, because the bottom dollar was not something I could survive on. I can't travel, I can't buy a new car, I don't know when/if I will ever own my own home, and because I need to work two jobs to make ends meet, I can't volunteer for the causes that made me want to get into politics in the first place. All because of this $120,000 degree I can't afford to use.



I lived on campus freshman year-then my Dad died & Mom had 4 kids. We all graduated from college & all lived at home. Graduated with no debt.

I'm very very happy my own kids started working without college debt also

 

[indimom]

From the above quoted article-

I'm 26-years -old and I always feel like I am looking down the barrel of a gun. I have had to turn down jobs that were perfectly suited for me, because the bottom dollar was not something I could survive on. I can't travel, I can't buy a new car, I don't know when/if I will ever own my own home, and because I need to work two jobs to make ends meet, I can't volunteer for the causes that made me want to get into politics in the first place. All because of this $120,000 degree I can't afford to use.

I remember reading that when it was posted on here awhile back and it has stuck with me. I desperately hope I can help my children achieve their dreams without a debt like that hanging around their necks. My hubby and I were able to start our marriage (at 22) debt free, heck we even had a little savings... I hope my kids can do the same.

 

[glasslipper]

Let her come home for the weekends! Hopefully she will decide, down the road, to try staying at school for the weekend. But don't force her to. I speak from both my own experience, and my daughter's.

Thanks, we are letting her come home, I'm picking her up Friday! I am hoping she will gradually begin to like it more, relax and make friends once she becomes more comfortable. Freshman year is such an adjustment! I want her to be able to focus on her studies without being miserable, but I also want her to get involved. Weekends might be a good compromise.

 

[Shelley Chiarats]

I agree that it should be up to each family whether their college student lives at home or on campus.

But sometimes what is easier is not what is better.

I was a young 17 when I graduated from high school. Mom was not paying for any of my college so it was all up to me. I'll be honest. My decision to stay home had absolutely nothing to do with costs (though it probably should have). I decided I wasn't ready to leave my small high school (less than 500 students in grades 7-12) so I chose the small Christian Brothers University in Memphis, TN. I was "smart" at my school. Graduated Salutatorian with a 27 on the ACT on the first try. Took no AP or advanced classes - they didn't exist.

So I went to college in town (20-30m drive) from 8a to 2p every day and then went back to high school every afternoon. I was a volunteer coach / scorekeeper for volleyball/football/basketball/softball/track/cross country. I did absolutely nothing at the college. As others have stated I have no more connection to that college than I do to the job that I got the summer before sophmore year. Probably less as the job made me an adult and the college just got me a degree.

15 years later, I really wish I'd gone away to college when the time came. I've never been good at making friends and I can't help but wonder how my life would have been different if my college experience hadn't been all about getting back to high school. I think my major would have been different and I know my experience would have been different.

I was offered a full scholarship to UT Martin (one of our state schools) not far away but not driving distance and only a partial to CBU so my guess now would be that my student loans would have probably been close to the same.

But as they say hindsight is 20/20. Now I wish Mom had pushed me to go out of town and do the full "college experience" but you never know back then I might have not been happy with her for pushing me out of the nest.

 

[Robinrs]

Southeastern Conference! Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, South Carolina, Vandy, Ole Miss, MSU, Tennessee.

Nothing like football weekends at those schools!

Thanks for letting ME know, too. Had no idea... don't care either.

 

[NotUrsula]

Thanks for letting ME know, too. Had no idea... don't care either.

Oh, but your DS needs to care, at least if he's planning to stay around Atlanta. Probably 60% of male workplace water-cooler conversation in the Deep South revolves around college sports, especially your state's college football rivalries. You at least have to know who is who, even if you don't like the sport.

 

[Pigeon]

Oh, but your DS needs to care, at least if he's planning to stay around Atlanta. Probably 60% of male workplace water-cooler conversation in the Deep South revolves around college sports, especially your state's college football rivalries. You at least have to know who is who, even if you don't like the sport.

Another reason why I could never live in the south.