Does your child go to college but live at home?

[Pigeon]

I'm not sure what will happen with our kids. It depends on what they want to study and how much college costs will be up by then.

I do think there is much to be said for going away to college. OTOH, there is much to be said for not graduating up to your eyeballs in debt.

I can see professional schools for both of them after college. While we won't be able to pay for that, should they decide to live at home, we will give them the money saved toward grad school.

 

[jodifla]

Personally, I think MOST kids should go away to school, or live on campus even if their parents live in the town they're going to college.

For me, classes were just a part of the college experience. There's nothing like being on your own, learning to write your own checks, cook your own meals, do your own laundry, manage your own time, make your own friends and choices AWAY from the scrutiny of parents.

Friends I know who went to CC felt it was more like 13th grade.

Now, it won't be that way for ALL kids. Some kids would be better off at home.

We plan to be prepared either way for our son, to accommodate what works best for him.

 

[DeaverTex]

Personally, I think MOST kids should go away to school, or live on campus even if their parents live in the town they're going to college.

For me, classes were just a part of the college experience. There's nothing like being on your own, learning to write your own checks, cook your own meals, do your own laundry, manage your own time, make your own friends and choices AWAY from the scrutiny of parents.

Friends I know who went to CC felt it was more like 13th grade.

Now, it won't be that way for ALL kids. Some kids would be better off at home.

We plan to be prepared either way for our son, to accommodate what works best for him.

This is EXACTLY what I was talking about earlier, and it applies to living at home and going to a 4 year university as well, particularly when it's not one of the bit "traditional" schools. I'm 100% in agreement with this post.

 

[Buckalew11]

I think CC often feels like "13th grade"--at least in my town it does, from the kids I have talked to who have experienced it.

I have not talked to anyone who has gone to the college in my town or to UTK who feel that way though.

 

[Planogirl]

I went to a true university but I was married and lived with my husband. I didn't have the "college experience" but I did get a good education. I survived.

I see nothing wrong with going into the "13th grade" if that works well for a student from an emotional or financial standpoint. You can move on to that experience just a bit later if necessary.

 

[DizneyDreams]

My university is 1.5 hours away from home and so staying at home is not really an option for me. Residence is ALOT of money, especially when you add in the costs for food, and there are some points when I'm looking at my bank loan wondering if I really made a good decision of choosing a university that was so far away from home. At first I was scared because I was so used to living at home and being close to my parents. However, I quickly found out that living some place other than my home was actually fun and I enjoyed the experience a lot.

Of course my parents miss me when I am away at school because I usually do the cooking and cleaning since they are at work during the day and I don't want them to come home and have to do even more work. So while living away from home was an adjustment for me, it was also an adjustment for my parents.

There is a part of me that sometimes thinks that choosing to go to university in my home town would have been the better decision because I would have saved like $30,000 so far, but I put that thought aside and look at the bigger picture - that I am achieving my dream. I accept the student loan that I currently have, and although I do miss my parents greatly when I am at school, I get to see them on a monthly basis and time seems to fly when I'm at school.

Regardless of the decision made, I feel that it is important for the child to decide what he or she would like. My mom really enjoys me being at home, and there was a part of her that did not want me to leave, but she knows that the decision I made will end up helping me for the rest of my life.

 

[LisaR]

My university is 1.5 hours away from home and so staying at home is not really an option for me. Residence is ALOT of money, especially when you add in the costs for food, and there are some points when I'm looking at my bank loan wondering if I really made a good decision of choosing a university that was so far away from home. At first I was scared because I was so used to living at home and being close to my parents. However, I quickly found out that living some place other than my home was actually fun and I enjoyed the experience a lot.

Of course my parents miss me when I am away at school because I usually do the cooking and cleaning since they are at work during the day and I don't want them to come home and have to do even more work. So while living away from home was an adjustment for me, it was also an adjustment for my parents.

There is a part of me that sometimes thinks that choosing to go to university in my home town would have been the better decision because I would have saved like $30,000 so far, but I put that thought aside and look at the bigger picture - that I am achieving my dream. I accept the student loan that I currently have, and although I do miss my parents greatly when I am at school, I get to see them on a monthly basis and time seems to fly when I'm at school.

Regardless of the decision made, I feel that it is important for the child to decide what he or she would like. My mom really enjoys me being at home, and there was a part of her that did not want me to leave, but she knows that the decision I made will end up helping me for the rest of my life.

The university my DD wants to go to is an hour from home. DD is debating what to do in terms of commuting versus driving. She is open to either. At first I was in favor of her commuting because it would be a big cost saver for us. However, the more I run the numbers; factoring in the safety aspect of expressway driving, parking fees, gas, tolls, and the extra time needed for traffic delays, and navigating the parking lot, trolling for a space, the more I think off campus housing would be cheaper. But if DD needs a car for a job or internship, then we are back to commuting being the cheaper option. We have two years to figure it out so no rush.

I don't think moving out at 18 versus 20 or 22 is really going to make a big difference in the long run. I am also NOT a fan of my kids moving back home once they move away for college. I would much rather have them live at home a little longer and then they could move out for good versus move out for college and then move back. I did it that way and it was difficult because I was used to my freedom but I was back under my parent's roof. I was able to get a great job and move out in 6 months. In this economy, I'm afraid more and more kids are moving back home and staying longer and longer.

 

[jodifla]

This is EXACTLY what I was talking about earlier, and it applies to living at home and going to a 4 year university as well, particularly when it's not one of the bit "traditional" schools. I'm 100% in agreement with this post.

Yes, I think a kid would just miss so much still living at home....I remember very memorable nights, staying up to 3 and 4 a.m., debating all the important aspects of the universe with friends....but I didn't have to drive anywhere. Completely different than having to haul home because your parents would be freaked out if you weren't in your bed by 4 a.m.

 

[disykat]

My son is 1 1/2 hours from school and I'm amazed at how many people ask is he plans to commute. I guess lots of people consider it an option.

 

[JCJRSmith]

My son just started his Sophmore year at Harrisburg University of Science and Technology. He lives at home and commutes. He also has a part time job with a local credit union in their IT department, and the job is VERY college friendly. For example, he works today from 7 am until 11, school until 1, then back to work until 5.

 

[Aisling]

Personally, I think MOST kids should go away to school, or live on campus even if their parents live in the town they're going to college.

For me, classes were just a part of the college experience. There's nothing like being on your own, learning to write your own checks, cook your own meals, do your own laundry, manage your own time, make your own friends and choices AWAY from the scrutiny of parents.

Friends I know who went to CC felt it was more like 13th grade.

My two sons are very different. One is a serious go-getter, studious and responsible. My other son is, well, not like that. Studious son went to a local private college on scholarship and lived at home. Most of the students also commuted because the school didn't have dorms. Worked out great for him, since he was free to come and go as he pleased in our house and took care of all his own bills with a part-time job. He's now an independent young man with no school debt and is engaged to be married.

My other son goes to the local CC and I agree it's like 13th grade, but there's no way he was ready to go away for school. In my family, we focus on getting that degree more than the "college experience" of living on campus. If my kids could have gotten a free ride INCLUDING housing, the studious son would have probably decided to go away. The non-studious son would stay home even if they paid him to go. He's becoming more responsible and serious, but he's not there yet. Parental guidance is still his friend at this stage.

Just wanted to add that non-studious son is as sweet as pie and a good kid who just doesn't think he has to do home work. lol

 

[xCourxCorex]

I start my senior year of college tomorrow (!!!!) and this will be the 1st year I am commuting to campus; the previous 3 years I have lived in a dorm or suite at school. My college is approx 30 minutes away from my house (depending on traffic, anywhere from 20-45).

When I was in HS, I decided I'd like to try living on campus, just to see what it was like. I loved living there, the ease of just rolling out of bed and walking to class 10 minutes before they started, having events and things planned on the weekends I could go to, and living in the same building as my friends!

I decided to stay again for Sophomore year, and had a bad roommate situation, ended up having a single for the 2nd half of the year - which I loved! Not that I minded sharing a room, but then to have your own space again - it's awesome!

Junior year, my best friend and I roomed together in a 6-girl suite. (4 rooms - 2 double occupancy, 2 single). The suite was HORRIBLE. I did not get along with the other girls in the suite, there was a lot of fighting, loud, messy roommates, issues with communal spaces like living area, kitchen, bathroom. It was a ROUGH year, especially as my nursing classes were the hardest courses I'd taken, and I never had quiet space to study. This, plus the fact that we had a kitchen in our suite, but I still had to pay for a meal plan that I used far less often, silly parking rules about where we are allowed to park (not at the caf/student center, or certain academic buildings...even though I paid $250 a YEAR to park my car on campus) and the craziness of dorm life ... I decided to come home for good for my last year. Between lectures, clinical and working my part-time job, I'd hardly be spending time in my room anyway.

I've tweaked my schedule so that I have a full day of classes Monday, nothing Tuesday, Weds I meet other girls on campus to carpool to the hospital, then class after, carpool @ campus again Thursday, and that's it. It's definitely an ideal schedule for commuting since I don't have to be there every single day. My parking sticker is half the price, and now I can park at pretty much any lot, no silly wasteful meal plans to worry about, and saving a couple thousand dollars by living here!

So far, no regrets about coming home!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

My friend's son went away last fall then came home even before the semester was over. He missed his friends and being home.
He then switched to a school where he commuted for an hour and doesn't like that either.
Some days he couldn't find a parking spot which he then skipped class.( not my kid, I would have strangled him by this point! )
He doesn't get invovled with the school or even eat there. I think he's missing alot of college life.

The cost of commuting with the high gas prices and feeding him at home is not that much cheaper then room and board.

 

[disneyismyname]

I was at a University for about a month when I decide to come home. I was more home-sick than I thought. I now live at home and go to school as well as work.

If I could tell upcoming college kids anything is.."Is it worth the money you will be paying back in 4 1/2 years."
Its like digging yourself in a money pit.

 

[SaraJayne]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.

My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.

Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.

Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

 

[DizneyDreams]

My brother goes to a college that is 1 hour away from home and he commutes on a daily basis. He doesn't seem to mind it, but he does have to add in the cost of the gas as well as put some extra money aside just incase his truck needs to maintenance. Overall, I'm pretty sure that the cost for the gas for himself to commute to school somewhat equals the amount for my residence.

But in the end he has free food at home and a place to stay for free as well. He also has money to spare to go out and have fun at night etc. Whereas for me, with living on campus I find that money is scarce, and even if I did have money I wouldn't want to spend it.

Of course living in a small space in comparison to my room at home was a big change for me. But I found that because I loved what I was learning, it made up for the lack of having family around me, or a somewhat comfy space to do my school work in.

In regards to the cost of living in residence, I think that it definitely is a bit too much. My parents help out my brother and I with our tuitions but the rest is up for us to pay. With my brother living at home he only has to worry about tuition, and my parents pay for that. Whereas for me my residence and meal plan are almost double the cost of tuition, and so there are some times where I feel like i'm throwing money out the window for a space that is not comfortable, or food that is actually healthy.

This year I will be living in a residence that has a kitchen in it, so I get even more of that taste of what adulthood is like because I will have to do grocery shopping on my own, figure out what I want to eat and do all that fun stuff. I'm actually looking forward to it as well, surprisingly.

 

[indimom]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.
Money matters.
And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?
Oh, for goodness sake, college isn't about growing up, it's about getting a degree. It is quite possible to "grow up" without college OR a degree.
Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.
Your house, your family, your decision. Others feel differently. Their house, their family, their decision.
My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.
And others have already posted their friends and family whose experience was the polar opposite. Different strokes.
Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.
Like??
Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

And I'm not at all surprised by your post either. Someone always has to be "right."

 

[crjack]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.

My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.

Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.

Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

I think where you live and the college location can play into it. When DH & I were in college years ago, many of the schools here in Boston were tight on housing so if you lived in the area already you were often wait-listed for housing. I never got it until close to my senior year and at that point I didnt want to bother.

Now schools like BU and Northeastern have greatly expanded their housing but Boston is still a small city with tons of colleges and the campuses and housing can vary dramatically.

Living here it could be hard to justify financially paying full tuition and then room & board to move to a school a few miles away, at least for 4 years. I think some time away is definitely beneficial but I see a lot of students here in Boston who try it for a while and often times the appeal wears off and then end up back home.

I know it would be much different though in another area particularly with a different layout for the campus.

 

[FireDancer]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.

My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.

Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.

Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

I wasn't about to go into debt just so I could go live on campus. I was out in the real world even though I lived with family. I worked a full time job while taking a full time course load, had a wide social circle, no curfew or really any rules put on me, still managed my finances, and paid my bills, and so on. I graduated with no debt and even managed to have a savings account.

Living at home and going to college is only like high school if you make it that way (or your parents treat you like you are in high school).

When I graduated I moved to Florida and had my "going away from my support system" experience but instead of going into debt to do so (or paying thousands of dollars) I was paid to have that experience.

 

[LisaR]

Honestly, I'm shocked at the amount of kids (in this thread) who still live with their parents and go to college.

And we wonder why kids don't ever want to grow up?

Living with us as a college student is not an option. You go to college, you live there. I'm not interested in having a 13th grader living in my house.

My best friend in college lived off campus (I went to UW-RF and she lived in Stillwater) and commuted every day.

She missed SO much and she hated it. After the first year, she finally moved to campus and LOVED it.

Living at home and going to college is just like high school. You miss out on so much.

Actually, on second thought, after being around the Dis for a while, I'm not shocked at all the kids that still live at home and go to college.

I couldn't disagree more. How many kids in this day and age do you know that move out for college and continue to live on their own after graduation? I personally don't know a single person. How many kids to you know that are going to college and fully supporting themselves. Again, I don't know any.

How do you equate a kid that leaves for college funded by their parents only to move back home four years later as a more responsible, grown up individual than a commuter? Do you really think that kid is more prepared for life than the one that stayed home, saved money and now has enough to move out and support themselves at the same time the other kid is moving back home? College life was nothing like real life for me. It didn't teach me to grow up. My parents paid most of my bills, they sent all kinds of care packages, and my meals were provided to me by the school. It wasn't until I moved out on my own, after living at home for 6 months after graduating, that I really started to grow up.

If Junior is living at home, taking one class, not working, all the while mommy is making his meals, washing his sheets, putting gas in his free car, and catering to his every whim, then I would agree with you. If Junior has a full load, works or interns, can do for himself, and is saving money, I don't think those 2 to 4 years of living at home are going to cripple that person on the growth front.