Does your 5th grader date?

[Becky2005]

Thanks for the replies. My dd has had a long friendship with this girl. It looks like their paths may be taking different directions. I guess my dd is not cool enough.

More than likely...this happened with my DD and her best friend...I could see the difference for a while. Her best friend moved so made it easier for the drifting apart instead of me being the bad guy so to speak (although the friend did turn nasty in a letter basically stating she didn't want to hang out with someone who still liked little kid things). But her friend was acting more like a teen than a younger child (and this was in 3rd/4th grade!), I know some of that had to do with having teenage sisters but UGH!

I'll take the being a kid for as long as you can part instead of dealing with all the dating/boy issues at a young age.

 

[poohandwendy]

Along the same lines, I am amazed at how many parents not only encourage young 'dating' but revel in it.

For example:

I ran into a woman today who has a son in 9th grade (I'll call him J)who played soccer with my 15 yo son for years (they are friendly, but don't run in the same circles anymore).

The very first thing she said to me was "Well, it's the one year anniversary on friday"....took me a while to realize she was talking about her son and his GF. She is so involved in her sons 'love' life, it is really over the top. I remember when J was only 'dating' his girlfriend for a few months, she came home and found that they were LOCKED in his bedroom. These were 8th graders (13 and 14 yo) at the time. She laughed about it and shrugged. "Oh well, what can you do...", I said, "I hope you have supplied J with a box of condoms" and she looked at me and said...I swear, this is what she said..."What for, they aren't sexually active, he just likes private time with her and doesn't want anyone to interrupt them" ???!!!!!

She has been hyper involved in his interest in girls every since 5th grade. If J has a 'girlfriend', she is searching for the perfect Christmas, B-Day or valentines gift. She bought J a bracelet for his girlfriend in 6th grade. She is always asking me if my son is 'dating' and who he likes. It is truly bizarre.

I have told her seriously that she is being very naive and that it is VERY likely that he is or is very close to being sexually active, she shrugs it off and says they are 'good kids'. Sorry, but hormones are not reserved for the 'bad kids'.


Part of me wonders if she was just worried that he wouldn't be able to find a girl or something and now is just relieved that he is socially acceptable or something. Or living her romantic fantasies through his life...whatever. Either way, I would not be surprised at all if he becomes a very young father. Which I swear she would totally be ok with. She has already said she doubts J will attend college. She thinks he would be better off freelancing as a journalist. (her words, not mine)

It's amazing. Funny thing is she and her DH are educated, successful professionals. They also are HS sweethearts. I think she thinks there is safety in that. What she doesn't realize is that not everyone finds life long happiness with their HS sweetheart. I just scratch my head.

She is just one example, I know plenty of others who are of pretty much of the same mindset. It's amazing how many parents are into their kids social lives to the point of not being very 'parental' at all.

Sorry to go off topic, this thread just reminded me of these types of situations....

 

[Serena]

No dating, no nothing in 5th grade.

My youngest is in 7th and there is a lot of pressure to have someone to claim as a boyfriend. Luckily she thinks the boys at school are pretty dumb. At least so far.

 

[ADisneygirl]

Well, I remember being "in love" in kindergarten with a boy whose name I still remember. We used to line up for walking in the halls, or to go home by alphabetical order, so I never got near him, his last name beginning with a B and mine with a K. But for fire drills, and only for fire drills, we were to line up quickly and quietly, no order. These were my only chances to walk hand in hand with him and I lunged for it the few times a year we had those drills!

That being said, I did not have a real boyfriend myself until HS. Even then my parents were against it.

With my own daughter, we were strict. No boyfriends. She was allowed to go to dances starting in 8th grade with a group and call it a date. In HS she could attend the homecomings and prom that way too. She was not allowed to have a real boyfriend until 11th grade, and by then she was used to the group date idea. She actually liked being free to dance with whoever, not being tied down. (Now she is in her third year at college, and she has met someone who is a steady boyfriend.)

I am glad that we held to our standards and raised her the way we did. I think without the anchor of a boyfriend around her waist to worry about and call and fret over, she was able to excel in school much easier.

5th grade is w-a-y too young in my opinion. As for your daughters' friend, let their paths take them in different directions.

 

[Flyfly_Eclipse]

When I was in 5th grade, I went on a 'date' with my then "boyfriend" and his big sister -- LOL. Back then, a date was talking to, hanging out with at school, etc. We rarely talked on the phone (I've never been a phone person anyway)...and we only hugged. A kiss would be the result of the dare --- but even with the dares, we never did....that's good enough though, for that age...IMO.

 

[Disney Doll]

I was 15 when I was allowed to date my first boyfriend. He was 17 and drove, so it was a very big deal.

He was actually a very nice kid and always made sure he got me home 15 minutes before my curfew. My parents loved that!

5th grade is waaaayy too young IMHO.

 

[Brendita]

My son is in the 5th grade.
We are talking about 10 & 11 year old children.
No I would never allow this.
A child needs a childhood 1st.
We can't control crushs & such.
But dating, please.
To start dating at such an early age only leads to other things at much to early age.

 

[yourtravelpro]

I have a 12 year old (6th grader) and thank goodness that issue hasn't come up yet.

 

[eeyore0062]

My 5th grade DD is more interested in Neopets, Sailor Moon and Build A Bear than boys. Very unlike her mother who was boy crazy from birth...lol!

 

[Deesknee]

mine are 8th graders now, but no in 5th they didn't.

 

[PooohBear]

My DD is in fifth grade and I would never let her date, but there are a few girls in her class that are completely boy crazy...the weird thing is, their Mother's think it's cute.... I almost think they encourage it....they are allowed to call the boys, go to their houses and do things together, I would rather my DD be with her girlfriends as I think it's more important to build good girlfriend relationships at this age

 

[ByTheSea]

No way for my 5th grade son, so far even he agree's with not til at LEAST 16 (or later) although he does "like" girls a tad bit...

the difficulty comes with the fact that all three of his best friends for the past several years have "girlfriends" this year. They hang out together in a "couples" group during recess/lunch etc. If you're not a couple you can't be in the group. The boys rarely get together after school or on weekends anymore because his old buddies have to hang out with their "girlfriends" and the few times they do get together either the "girlfriend" joins them or the play date is cut short so his buddy can go see the girlfriend too.

Luckily my son has taken it with a grain of salt and made some new "best friends" this year, some very nice boys ... but I think it's weird on those rare occasions when we do see his old friends/parents, the same boys who used to spend part of every weekend together as well as afterschool once a week, now the parents go on and on about how it's too bad there just isnt' enough time for my son and their son to get together anymore as because their son and the "girlfriend" have to spend time each day together... THEY ARE 10-11 years old for pete's sake! Next thing ya know they'll be suggesting a 5th grade Prom.

 

[totalia]

5th Grade... My mother would have killed any boy who thought he was going to go out with me when I was in the 5th grade. It wouldn't have happened. I'm glad she did it because I never got into any trouble.

 

[ktink]

My DD is only in the 3rd grade but I can't imagine her thinking of dating in only 2 years. I can't imagine her leaving the house if she was. It amazes me how some parents let their children act and dress. I know someone who lets their 11 year old wear a thong. I hope my daughter doesn't know what a thong is at 11. I don't want to be naive but I don't want to introduce things that just aren't age appropriate. What ever happened to Barbie dolls and Easy Bake Ovens?

 

[shortbun]

My 3rd grade son told me he was never going to kiss anybody and NEVER going to get married! Yippeee!

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Well, my DD hasn't been born yet, but I already know she will not be allowed to date in 5th grade. Dh would have a heart attack. Of course he has already decided that she can't date until she's 30. I was 16 before I really started dating. I had "boyfriends" that I never went out with...only saw them at school. 16 was when I was officially allowed to go out with a boy, and I am glad. I didn't really need to date any younger IMO.

 

[epcotfan]

My dd's friend is allowed to have a boyfriend. They go to movies, exchange gifts I.M. each other and call each other on the phone. I do not allow my daughter to have a boyfriend or wear make up or wear large hoop earrings. So what's your thoughts?

I can understand not wanting your daughter to wear a lot of make up or date in grade 5, but what is wrong with hoop earrings? In the early 80s my friends and I always wore large hoop earrings. Is there something I should have known?

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Well, my DD is in fourth grade, and she'd rather eat a bug than be seen holding hands with a boy! I guess I'm off the hook, hopefully for a while.

I had a BF in fifth grade, but all it really meant was that we hung out at recess. No "dates", we rarely even passed notes (remember them? How quaint!). I think it really depends on how you define dating--alone in a room with Barry White playing would be a huge red flag, but say, meeting up at the roller rink I wouldn't get excited at.

P.S. my 5th grade BF gave me a birthday present--a stick of gum wrapped in a love note. It was thrilling at the time, but hey, maybe I was just a "cheap date"!

 

[Bon Bon]

5th grade? That's 11 or 12!! No way in my house. Kids see too much these days that is out of our control outside the home and grow up too quickly as it is, no need to invite more trouble! IMHO they are kids for too short a time, let them savor every day of their childhood.

 

[we3disneygo]

I have a DD in the 5th grade-they have had dances this year along with the 6,7&8th grades and we wouldn't let her go. the first one she was a little upset but she had a friend sleepover. when it came around to the other 2 dances Christmas & Valentine's day she didn't even care. All the girls were making a big deal over who was going with who-we told her those weren't our values and she understood.She is also more interested in her ice skating, neopets, going to the mall with her grandma! we think maybe in the 7th grade she could go to the school dances.