Does planning a wedding have to be that stressful???

[vivilasvegas]

We just went through one of our best friends planning a wedding. I swear, she morphed into something not human by the end.

Everyday she would call with a new problem, the end of the world type problem. I let her vent, but honestly, I did roll my eyes over the phone while she was doing it. She would freak out if the bridesmaids didn't have the same barrette to hold up their hair. She almost passed out because she didn't think the centerpieces looked nice. (gorgeous, by the way) And they weren't worried about money as her parents were paying and have lot's of it!!

I guess I'm pretty easy-going, and those kinds of things wouldn't bother me. I'll book the hall, get my dress and show up!!


I'm from the camp, if it's gonna make you stress out and not enjoy it, then don't do it.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Sounds like a Bridezilla!

I'm very very laid back by nature and there were few things that were important to me to have perfect on our wedding day. My mom, on the other hand, was quite stressed =)

But we had a blast and enjoyed it all!

 

[hiwaygal]

In a word...no, planning a wedding DOES NOT have to be stressful...especially if you let Disney do all the "stressing"!

 

[Pinnie]

My youngest DS got engaged over Christmas, so I am going to be the Mother Of The Groom. I am going to take this philosophy:

"Shut up, smile and wear beige"

pinnie

 

[MamaLema]

Sounds pretty extreme to me. No, it doesn't have to be that stressful.

I'm not talking about your friend, but I think in general people should spend all that effort into the marriage, not the wedding

 

[princess pooh]

I'm quite nervous and anxious by nature but i didn't stress too much about the wedding. Most of my stress came from dealing with my MIL (nothings really changed there though). I never really dreamed of how my wedding would be and I knew things wouldn't be perfect, so the planning didn't get too crazy. I also hired the most relaxed photographer, videographer, florist, and caterer; and that helped a lot!

 

[hdecker]

DS21 is getting married next Saturday. He is the associate youth minister at our church, a largish church. Bride-to-be's parent's made it clear from the beginning that there would be no help from them, monetary or otherwise, so in this case the parents of the groom are paying for everything and mom of the bride will just swoop in on wedding day taking all the credit. Am I stressed - yes, do I care, no. I just have to be civil to these people for one more day and then nothing more will be expected of me. I guess I just needed to vent cause I'm tired of writing the checks that they should be writing - oh, and it's not a financial hardship for them, they just don't want to spend the money. Good thing I love DS and soon to be DDIL so much!

 

[golfgal]

The only thing that stressed me out was when the priest called us to say that they were going to start renovations on the church the week of our wedding and the church might not be available (2 months before the wedding). Fortunately they decided to wait until after Easter to do the renovations so it all worked out in the end.

Too many brides get caught up in the details trying to make everything 'perfect' and not on what it is really about. If something isn't perfect, no one is going to know.

 

[pattyT]

quilty

but I wouldn't bring anyone else into my 'pickiness'
I kept the wedding party down to ONE on each side (not to much worry about matchin gup that way)

but i had to go 'fix' a,, the favors on the tables because the wine bottle labels should face perectly towards the person sitting -
with the candy bar laid right in front of it -
and the cameras on the tables should be is just such a position.

 

[Disney Doll]

DS21 is getting married next Saturday. He is the associate youth minister at our church, a largish church. Bride-to-be's parent's made it clear from the beginning that there would be no help from them, monetary or otherwise, so in this case the parents of the groom are paying for everything and mom of the bride will just swoop in on wedding day taking all the credit. Am I stressed - yes, do I care, no. I just have to be civil to these people for one more day and then nothing more will be expected of me. I guess I just needed to vent cause I'm tired of writing the checks that they should be writing - oh, and it's not a financial hardship for them, they just don't want to spend the money. Good thing I love DS and soon to be DDIL so much!

This same thing happened when my DB got married the first time.

We were invited over to the bride's parents' house for dinner. Nice folks, so they seemed. Nice meal. After dinner, the wedding discussion started, and my father siad "Well, we'd be happy to help with whatever expenses you'd like". My father was trying to be tactful, you know, it's the bride's day and all that, so let her family run the show. The father of the bride looked at him incredulously and said "What do you mean? Do you think I am paying for this? I don't pay for anything until I have seen it, used it and made sure it is acceptable to me. They can pay for the wedding themselves and if I enjoy it and think it was well done, then maybe I'll give them some money afterward". Now, my brother and his then-wife were 21 years old at the time, and certainly didn't have the financial wherwithal to pay for a wedding. They were both just out of college, workig at good jobs, but hadn't had any significant amount of time to save money before they decided to get married.

Well, let's just say that my parents paid for the wedding, and Mr. Man did decide that it was an acceptable event, so he repaid my father afterward. Even though the marriage only lasted 7 years (for various reasons unrelated to the start), I know that my former SIL was very grateful to my parents for being so kind to her with regard to enabling her to have the wedding she wanted, within reason, instead of a cheap quickie thing.

 

[Stacerita]

Bridezilla lives!!!

My best friend is getting married 12/06 and she has already started hinting at becoming a bridezilla herself. Lord help me since Im the maid of honor. I know I can handle it, but I promise you this.......if my dress has a butt bow, there will be hell to pay!

 

[castleview]

It doesn't have to be stressful. I found it was others causing that problem. I have divorced parents and they had little quarrels. My mom was a little Martha Stewart-ish, but calmed down a little after I threated to shove the book of etiquette up her nose. My dad was a little obnoxious and said stupid things like "What's your mother doing placing my guests?" and "Hurry up with the pictures, I have a reception to host". My stepmother cancelled my silverware on my registry because she found a cheaper version of it.

As annoying as they were, I refused to get to upset over my wedding. If they wanted to stress, let them - I had a marriage I was looking forward to.

As great as my wedding day was, I would probably go on a dream vacation and get married while I was there - if I could do it again. Now I get to sit back and watch my sister go through this...and she is no where near as easygoing as I am.

 

[olena]

Not at all. I planned my Vegas wedding over the Web and via phone, then I sat back and enjoyed everything. I was determined not to go nuts. I didn't care if everything wasn't perfect, so I didn't get worked up. All that mattered was the 'I do' part. Everything went just fine anyway.

 

[Disney Doll]

No, it does not. But I will tell you that I was amazed at the number of grown women who regressed to acting like spoiled 8 year olds when it came to their weddings and bridal planning.

I can remember being in the bridal shop trying on gowns, and listening to the woman in the next dressing room having an absolute meltdown over the fact that the seamstress forgot to sew the bra strap holder things into her gown. And this was not a young bride...she appeared to be a 30+ year old professional woman when I saw her later on in the shop. And it wasn't like her wedding was the next day...it was still about 3 months off. I just rolled my eyes.

The bridal store loved me because I bought the third dress I tried on, when it came in it needed no alterations and I had 9 bridemaids.

 

[lemondog]

My short answer to your question is no!

I had 16 months to plan my wedding. As a result, I was able to take my time, book things in advance, and by the last week before the wedding everything was completely ready and I was able to relax and enjoy myself with family and friends who had traveled in from out of town.

 

[minniecarousel]

My youngest DS got engaged over Christmas, so I am going to be the Mother Of The Groom. I am going to take this philosophy:

"Shut up, smile and wear beige"

pinnie

Me too Pinnie! Only it was our older son. As a concession, I will insist that DH & I take dancing lessons so that we don't embarass anyone on "the big day".

 

[DisneyJen0504]

Sure some aspects "can" be stressful, but having planned my own wedding a year and a half ago-I just remembered that I was marrying the man of my dreams....and thats all that matters. That kept me from stressing.