Does anyone else feel like this... For Women Only

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido is stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off when you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a balding relic making a fool of himself with some 22 year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize."

--Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes
 
I say wear the suit, swim till your hearts content and to hell with busy bodies! I have starved myself to be thin and it was never good enough, I have expanded up becasue of a medical condition myself and flat out refused to go in the pool with my DS's and DH. Refusing to swim because how I thought I looked was silly and now I can't get those memories back. I am still a little self concious when I put on a bathing suit but guess what so are most of the other people at the pool and as long as DH loves the way I look the to heck with everyone else. princess:
 
To the OP, go swimming at WDW and do not worry about small minded people. People who judge others, like formernyer, suffer from their own personal turmoil called lack of self esteem. Don't fall to their level. Be proud of who you are and your children. Have a wonderful time and enjoy your life to its fullest! :sunny:
 
I just returned this morning from a 10 day trip, split between staying at POR and HRH.
The weather was hot, beautiful and glorious.
I am a 46 yr old mom who also has thyroid problems, am pre-diabetic, metabolic disease, etc. I also gain water weight constantly, which is unexplained, but take diurectics daily. I had knee surgery a month ago for weight related problems which has been unsuccessful.
With that said, I am ashamed of my looks and did not swim with my kids. I did go down the family raft ride at Blizzard Beach with shorts over my suit, which I kidded myself looked "great" at home. ( let me say I have one of "those" dh's who ogles over other women ). Anyway, when in the room looking at the full size mirrors (god I hate those things) I was humiliated at what I looked like, and Yes I am hard on myself!
I know I shouldnt care, I have recently lost both parents to illness and I do know that life is too short and to enjoy it. I unfortunately cannot come to grips with how I do look.
I am not writing my response to hear, "you should have enjoyed yourself, etc." I know that! My mistake yet again.
What I am writing about is what I did see at a pool at one of the resorts.
Here we grown women worry about our size and looks when no one is better than anyone else, and I was so saddened to see an extremely overweight child being stared at in one of the pools. This child was unable to get out of the pool without struggling to pull themselves up to the side, etc. Yet the family with them sat in their loungers enjoying their cocktails (they were thin) and never once entered the water to enjoy it with this child.
My children approached me saying, "Mom I feel so bad for that child over there, they are having a hard time in the pool." I told them instead of watching, why dont you go over and introduce yourselves and ask this child to maybe play with all of you? They did this and had a great time making a new friend and playing in the pool and I am proud they were not the ones "staring" and never being compassionate. They did not look at this child as a size, they looked at this person as ANOTHER CHILD who wants to have fun, have friends and enjoy the vacation they are on.
It was an eye opener for me as an overweight woman, who couldnt bring herself to go into the pool and sat in her jeans in 87 degree weather wishing she had a different body. Of course this incident happened on our last day, and we were packed and ready to go, so my eye opening was too late for me to realize how ridiculous I had been.
I did enjoy this vacation, my kids LOVED it, but I know they would have loved it more if I had spent the time in the pool with them that I should have.
I think we should all enjoy our vacations no matter what. We are alive, we are able to go on vacation and that is what it is for our own enjoyment.
 

I know I posted before but after reading more of the posts I just wanted to make note of something...

It seems everyone, whether big or small, tall or short, etc has something about themselves that they are self conscious of. I can probably name 4 things about myself off the top of my head that I hate (and if you give me more time about 25 more :rotfl: ). The point is we are this way because of the society we live in. We are taught as young girls that beauty is a 6'2" woman who weighs 95 lbs (to me thats just simply unhealthy!).

There will always be those rude people who will point and stare, but in my theory they are just doing that because they are not happy with themselves and trying to make themselves feel better.

To all of us out there who are self conscious because of weight, scars, unfortunate medical problems I say lets all show 'them' just how beautiful we really are!
 
::standing, clearing throat:: I am a plus sized woman and I absolutley love going to the waterparks and swimming pools! :thumbsup2

I am not a 12/14/16....honey, if I were those sizes I would be running around screaming at people to look at my gorgeous body!!!! No no, I'm a plus sized woman! People below size 26 (skinny minnies to me).

For those who have a problem with large women dress like they are a size "4", I do dress correctly for my size, I was worried I would offend your self centered, higher than mighty <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep> <beep>. Oops, where did my sweet southern nature go. :blush:

Can I tell you a secret....let me tell you who us "fatties" look at. Everyone! But I'm not looking at their bodies. Want to know what I'm looking at? I'll tell you. I'm looking at a man who is seeing his wife/girlfriend/sweetheart in a loving way. I'm watching the young couple that is helping their first child play in the water. I'm watching brothers/sisters teaching their siblings how to swim or play. I'm watching a father play with his kids on vacation, cause at home, you know he is to busy to be playing like this. I'm watching a mother scold her child for running, not because she wants to yell at him/her, but wants her child to be safe as possible. I'm watching love, tenderness, fun happening in front of my eyes. Oh yeah, and I'm espcially watching for the people in the water when the wave hits at the wave pools....I'm out there with them and I don't like being run over and running over someone in the water! :smooth:


So go ahead, stare at me. Because here it is layed out. I have this body, sickness, eating disorder, laziness, pill taking, what ever my reason. This is the body I live in, I'm happy. I'm at Disneyworld. I'm going to go ride the Haunted Mansion....enjoy life, I am. Hope you will do the same.
 
[As for your comments about size, I guess it's all a matter of opinion. I'm not going to argue with you if you feel that 5'4" and 145lbs looks good. I am 5' 3.5" and I know I would look like a cow if I was 145lbs. Right now I'm at an all-time high for weight and I'm 114 (I'm more like 106-110 during swimsuit season)...I look and feel like I need to lose a few pounds. NO WAY could I look acceptable at 145!!! It all comes down to bone structure and MOST people who are 5'4" could not pull off 145lbs and still look slender

I tried very hard not to respond to this thread. BUT, since I read it last evening and I am still thinking about it this morning, I am going to reply.

To the OP, I know it is really hard to expose yourself to strangers. I can only say try to put them out of your mind and enjoy yourself. In the big scheme of things, it will not matter what someone else thought of your size. Only those who truely know and love you will care. And if you are having a good time, they will not care what you looked like in your suit. Pick something you are comfortable in and you will be fine. Every other lady at the pool feels the same way as you, IMO.

Now, on to the quote. I come from a family of large proportions. We have a pool and we all enjoy swimming and water parks. My daughter is large and she is one of the most confident people I know. I will take some credit for that because I have always told her she was beautiful (she is) and she will tell you in no uncertain terms that her mom says she is beautiful and that is the final word on that.

I have MS and it has been posted on these boards. I have taken steriods for long periods of time and they tend to pack on the pounds. I have been LARGE. Right now, off the steriods, I weigh 143 lbs and I am 5'4. I wear a size 6 and am rather thin. I am by no means a cow. Too much is being made of the scale number. If we lined up 30 people who wore a size 6 or 12 or 16 they would not look anything alike body wise. Everyone has different bone structure, etc.

I was a teacher before retiring due to my health. When we had our school physicals all the height/weights were entered into a database and if you were in what was considered an overweight category you were asked to attend a seminar at school. I was notified to attend and I did. The Dr. pulled me aside and said there must be a mistake because this was for those considered overweight per our insurance through our district. He insisted I hop on the scale and then stated I have a large bone structure and certainly didn't need to lose any weight. Just wanted to let you know, that some can pull off 145 pounds and look thin. I have never weighed less than 135 even when I was 13.

Rant over.
 
NO WAY could I look acceptable at 145!!!

That's an interesting way to put it...acceptable to whom?

And did someone say if you wear a size 12 you are fat unless you are over 6 feet tall? I'm 5'8" and I'm not overweight according to those who draw up those charts for health reasons. I'm just not the aesthetic ideal. I'd have to lose 30 pounds for that...and I'm not overweight to begin with. Even if I lost the weight, I'd have to have my hipbones shaved off just to attain the ideal. That just strikes me as silly.

Oh, and I'm 41. I wear bikini tops and board shorts. I don't think anyone else cares what I'm wearing.
 
dizneykid said:
"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido is stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her younger cousin could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off when you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a balding relic making a fool of himself with some 22 year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize."

--Andy Rooney, 60 Minutes
Awesome!!
 
EEyorelover22 said:
The 40's really slow the metabolism and eating what I once did isn't possible anymore. It really stinks!! My mom always says too that gravity for all those years really pulls everything all out of shape. I like that one.
These were my exact thoughts when reading about how our 36-year-old critic never exercises and eats everything she wants. ;)
 
Sometimes it amazes me how cruel other human beings can be. That is the only reason a thread like this exists. If everyone was nice we wouldn't need to be convinced to wear a swimsuit at a water park! A little different than the swim suit situation, but when I was 17 I was in Disney...and I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. The looks, comments, stares, etc. I got were enough to lead me to tears more than once. While talking to 2 little girls in line for a ride their mom pulled them aside and said "We don't talk to people like that .

The second day of our trip I called the airline and paid the $50 for changing a plane ticket as well as the additional fare of $200 just to go home 3 days early, I couldn't take it! When I was back home, laying in bed, feeling sorry for myslef since my whole family was still at WDW I had a revelation. Why did I care that people were judging me? I had no reason to care. Having my daughter was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it taught me a lesson and that I value every day and that is not to care what others think. You are surrounded by people who love you and that is all that matters.

I hope you have an absolutely wonderful time at WDW and have some great rides at the water park!!!!! :cheer2:
 
I know where you are coming from. 20 years ago, I was a 120 pound aerobics instructor. Not sure what happened, but something did lol.

You need to find some things that make you feel good about yourself. Go to a higher end dept store and get the help of a good image consultant. She can help you find some pool clothes you can feel proud to be in. It will be worth the dollars.

In the meantime, remember, we are our own worst critics. It could not hurt to get some councling. Not like the deep stuff, lol, but maybe from a licensed therapist that can help you work through some of the issues you are facing with your illness and changing body.

Do some things nice for yourself, get a manicure, pedicure. Get a nice new hair do etc.. but most importantly, go easy on yourself and have fun.
 
I never wore a suit. I didnt swim with the kids. Then we put in a pool...I had to swim with them. I just wear a tee shirt over my suit until I get into the pool. It makes me feel better. I also hated to have my photo taken. Everyone in the family knew how I felt and there are few photos of me. Well, our youngest DD (Our wonderful surprise 14 years later baby) noticed one day and said "Where is Mommy" and I realized there are no photos of me on any of our trips, on any of our holidays etc. It made me feel bad thinking that if anything were to happen to me there would be no pictures to leave for her to remember me by. I now get in the pictures and get in the pool!! Life is to short to side by the pool if you know what I mean!
 
Stitch1404 said:
Sometimes it amazes me how cruel other human beings can be. That is the only reason a thread like this exists. If everyone was nice we wouldn't need to be convinced to wear a swimsuit at a water park! A little different than the swim suit situation, but when I was 17 I was in Disney...and I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. The looks, comments, stares, etc. I got were enough to lead me to tears more than once. While talking to 2 little girls in line for a ride their mom pulled them aside and said "We don't talk to people like that .

The second day of our trip I called the airline and paid the $50 for changing a plane ticket as well as the additional fare of $200 just to go home 3 days early, I couldn't take it! When I was back home, laying in bed, feeling sorry for myslef since my whole family was still at WDW I had a revelation. Why did I care that people were judging me? I had no reason to care. Having my daughter was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it taught me a lesson and that I value every day and that is not to care what others think. You are surrounded by people who love you and that is all that matters.

I hope you have an absolutely wonderful time at WDW and have some great rides at the water park!!!!! :cheer2:

I'm sorry you had to go through that. IMO the lady that made that comment better get "it" in check. Judging others typically comes back to haunt us later on. Here is an example:

When I was a teen, I tended to get in to my fair share of trouble at school (nothing major, just didn't want to go for the most part).
I had a friend across the street whose mother told me one day to my face (I was only 14 years old!!) that I was going to grow up to be trash etc).

Well, I didn't. I had two wonderful parents that got me in check, and grew up to have two AWSOME teens, a great DH, successful career etc(my spelling suffered though TG for spellcheck)...

I recently saw her daughter, and lets just say her mother did me a favor. She seemed to be strung out on drugs, and she has no direction in her life. I wish nothing but happiness on that family, but it goes to show that if you spend too much time teaching your children to judge others, you tend to miss out on teaching them the more important lessons in life.

You should be proud that you had the courage to raise a little girl as a teenager.
 
I absolutely love this speech from one of my favorite actresses, Delta Burke, and I think it is very appropriate to post it here, because it was her response to overhearing an ignorant comment about her weight.

It's all about whether you choose to see the positive or the negative. Rather than feel sorry for *myself* because someone can't see the beauty in my curves, I feel sorry for them. They probably are missing a lot of the beauty in the world around them every day. I choose to live my life seeing the beauty in everyone- in my special ed students, in every woman who comes into the gym where I work, in my loved ones of all shapes and sizes, in everything around me, and I would be ashamed to do otherwise.


"They shoot fat women, don't they?" Designing Women Episode
Suzanne walks up to the stage to accept her award for "Person Most Changed" after overhearing someone make fun of her.

Well, this is quite a surprise.

I guess maybe I deserve this award for the Person-Most-Changed, but not for the reason you think. Last night I got my feelings hurt because I came to this reunion thinking I was beautiful, and what I found out was that I'm fat at least you think I am. But that isn't the biggest change in me. The biggest change is that the old Suzanne wouldn't have shown up here tonight. She would've just gotten thin before the next reunion and then she would have gotten even. But I'm a little older, and I hope a little wiser than that person used to be.

A lot of things have happened to me. A lot of things have happened to all of us. Sandy Smothers was killed the night before we graduated. Diane Mitchell's got two sets of twins, and Gayland Chadwick's working in the White House. We had a lot of dreams together, and there's no point in pretending; some of mine came true, and some didn't.

I met a little boy from Africa tonight whose family died of starvation, and I realized that I spent the whole day at home worrying about the fact that I had too much to eat. I'm not sure the old Suzanne would have appreciated the absurdity of that, but this one does.

Some of you men wanted to know about my bra size, but I'd rather talk about my heart because it's a little bigger than it used to be. The old Suzanne wouldn't have forgiven you for the things that you said, but this one will. Because when I look around this room tonight, I don't see receding hairlines and the beginnings of pot-bellies and crow's feet I just see all the beautiful faces of old girlfriends and sweet young boys who used to stand on my front porch and try to kiss me goodnight. And you can remember me any way you'd like, but that's how I'll always remember you.

And so I thank you for giving me this award for the Person-Most-Changed, however you intended it. I'm going to treasure it because, #1 I love trophies and #2 I earned it.

Thank you.


Makes me cry everytime. :cloud9:
 
I also feel the OP's pain. Last September we went on our first disney trip ever. The heat was unbearable and really bothered. What bothered me most was the fact that I am so out of shape that the great amount of walking that you do at Disney really made it tough on me. I have struggled with my weight since I was about 12 years old. Obesity is hereditary and I get it from my mother who has been overweight for a long time. I don't ever wear a swimsuit or even dress in shorts. I am very self conscious about my weight and know that I am the only one to do anything about it. I have tried several times and lost the willpower to lose any weight. Right now my left knee is killing me because I have torn cartilage and my wonderful doctor doesn't want to do anything about it. My knee problems are mostly because of my weight problems. I know how depressing it is to have people stare at you because of your weight- don't let it get it down. I work with this young girl who is bigger than me and what she wears to me is so disgusting. Her clothes are too small and her large stomach hangs out all the time, that is nasty. I am a professional woman and know how to dress professionally. I guess some people feel confident with the body that they have. I think us plus-size women are in the majority now anyways. They are some beautiful plus-size ladies out there. I feel for the pain that we go through. But you are after all on vacation and you deserve it and paid for it. Don't let anyone else ruin your vacation time for you and your family. My husband is a very thin man but loves me dearly, weight and all.
 
This is a subject dear to my heart unfortunately. But I had the same problem when I was a curvy size 6 in my 20's. Always thought that my thighs were too fat in a bathing suit. Looking back now, they were at their best, and I didn't appreciate it. I try to remind myself now that when I'm 50 I will probably think I was smokin' hot when I was in my late 30's and didn't appreciate it. Well, maybe decent anyway. :p I also try to remind myself of something Dr. Phil said about how often people are thinking about you(very little). They are thinking about how they look in their suits, about how much fun they are having, etc. If I ever think anything about how anybody else looks it's either I wish I looked like that or I am glad I 'm not the biggest gal in the pool. It's still all about me. No one is really as hard on you as you are on yourself. Have a great time! pixiedust:
 
"..how many times will you be able to enjoy the pool with your kids and everyone is having a blast. I will forever cherish those memories. :woohoo: .."



There you go!! I think that about sums it up. Time is the #1 commodity for all of us. I'm also not the skinny cute girl I'd like to be!! I think at 33 I'm finally going to have to give in and except no amount of working out and primping is going to make me look 20 again. I need to buy a one piece (for the first time) and just enjoy myself knowing that my cellulite is still showing out the bottom - OH WELL.

Relax and have fun at the pool, we all have issues with ourselves. AND I for one don't worry about someone else's body at the pool. I'm there to have fun too.
 
I am going to be 45 this year. Do I look like I did when I was 25...absolutely not. Do I feel like I am 25 I absolutely do. Being beautiful and feeling confident is not about the number on your clothing but your spirit. I am not fat and I am not thin and I am not perfect...but I feel perfect.

I work out 4-5 days a week and I eat healthy BUT I also lay on the couch and watch All My Children and The Food Network and think I am Ina Garten and cook up a storm. So what! I am strong, happy, smart, beautiful, I have great skin, a wiked sense of humor...My hips and rear are 44 plus years old and I wear a 2 piece...and I feel fine. Don't waste your life being hung up on such things. Even though we live near the beach, we love the water and love beach vacations. I do admire women who wear 2 piece bathing suits that don't have the "perfect" body. They are the ones smiling, laughing and really enjoying life. I AM you...wear that suit go to the pool or beach., but never stop trying to be your best...regardless of the size in your clothes. Embrace who you are today and make the best of it.

Don't worry your pretty little heads, we are all beautiful women, life is too short to worry about such things. I am not judging you by your size, you are.

There are some beautiful 2 peice and 1 piece bathing suits that have ample bottoms and tops...or not. Tommy Bahama makes some great suits, they cover your rear and are very flattering.. The matching tops com in diferent styles to match the full cut bottoms or bottoms that have a "wrap". I was just in the store and saw some beautiful new TB suits. I think a big mistake women of our age make is trying to wear bathing suits cut for 20 year olds. Of course you will feel horrible...they are not cut for our bodies, but that is not a bad thing. The bad thing is not wearing appropriate swimwear. Buy a good suit (it may be pricy, but so what) and you will feel much better. Also another trick is to self tan. Neutrogena makes a great spray on that looks like an airbrush, looks natural and does not come off. Combine that with a new suit and you will feel like a new person....I promise.
 

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