Do you think the groom's sister should be in the wedding party?

[minniecarousel]

Is your friend very young? Maybe the same age as the "children" in the wedding?

It's not mandatory for siblings to be in weddings. Although I'd say it's so with either sisters or brothers who are very close.

 

[browneyes106]

I too wondered about why he didn't ask her to be the best woman or something like that. I'm sure if the other brother was alive he would be the best man. Another thing that is really weird is that guy who is going to be best man has only known my friend's brother for about two years. The brother has other friends that he has known for more than twenty years.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

They are very close. Well a week ago my friend asked her brother about it and he made up an excuse that his fiancee's family is bigger and more important. Then the next day the fiancee called my friend's mom and told her off and used the excuse that her and her family are very close and that her side of the family deserves to have more involvement in the wedding. She also told the mom that her family wasn't close likes her so they shouldn't be involved. I'm trying my best to comfort my friend. She was really upset earlier when she came over to visit me.

Wow. That is pretty nasty of the bride considering the mother was not even involved in the conversation that took place between brother and sister. Good luck to the groom, sounds like he is going to need it!

 

[mickeysgal]

They are very close. Well a week ago my friend asked her brother about it and he made up an excuse that his fiancee's family is bigger and more important. Then the next day the fiancee called my friend's mom and told her off and used the excuse that her and her family are very close and that her side of the family deserves to have more involvement in the wedding. She also told the mom that her family wasn't close likes her so they shouldn't be involved. I'm trying my best to comfort my friend. She was really upset earlier when she came over to visit me.

At this point she needs to look at as dodging a bullet.

Your friend should consider herself very lucky.

Oh boy, that soon to be hubby is going to have his hands full. Imagine telling off your soon to be mother-in-law for something she wasn't even involved in (as far as I can tell). Say goodbye to this guy, he's going to spending every holiday with the wife's family - they're more important.

Bridezilla has arrived.

 

[Pigeon]

She doesn't get to select who is in the wedding party. She should keep her mouth shut.

I've got an ungodly number of siblings. I've been in the wedding for some, but not for others. It's up to them. I only had one of my legion siblings in my wedding.

Actually, she should count her lucky stars. She won't have to throw icky showers or buy and wear a hideous dress and assorted stuff. She can just go to the party.

 

[browneyes106]

I may be the odd person out here, but I think she should talk to her brother and tell him how she feels. Maybe he doesn't have a clue and just assumed that she wouldn't care. If he knows that she does care, she should be offered a role in the wedding. There is nothing wrong with having another person march down the aisle in another ugly dress and it does wonders to keep the relationship between families running on an even keel. The DD of friends of ours, didn't include her brother in the wedding party because her fiance was afraid he would embarrass them. (completely bogus charge without merit). The father rightfully said, "no brother, no wedding". It was a beautiful wedding and the brother was every bit the gentleman that he always is.

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She has talked to him and he told her that the bride's family is very close and that they deserve to have more involvement in the wedding. The bride also told my friend's mom that their family isn't really close and shouldn't be involved. I don't think he going to give a role in the wedding at all. I agree I don't think there would be anything wrong with having my friend in the wedding party. I feel that at least from both sides should be in the wedding. That is really wrong what happenend to your friends' son.

Is your friend very young? Maybe the same age as the "children" in the wedding?

My friend is 22. She is only few years older than the oldest kids. I think the reason she got upset is because she has always wanted to at least participate in wedding party once for fun. Another thing that upset my friend is that she has a job and makes good money. She wouldn't have a problem spending money on a dress and stuff. But the bride's older children aren't employed at the moment. The nieces and nephews that are going to be in the wedding party come from struggling families. I'm not trying to cut people down for not having money but I feel people in a wedding party should be financially responisble to provide what is needed.

It's not mandatory for siblings to be in weddings. Although I'd say it's so with either sisters or brothers who are very close.

I agree. I feel that the bride should at least respect the groom's family.

 

[IndyBride]

Including every family member in a wedding ceremony is just something that is not possible. Try to explain to your friend that choosing a bridal party is typically not something that is done lightly. Every bride is concerned about picking people she is close to and will follow through with the duties that are involved. If you've ever taken a peek at the wedding boards you would see that more often than you think a BM drops out/quits caring/ or something else happens. Personally, I tried very hard to convince DF to have his sister as his best person. They are very close, probably closer than he is with his friends, but he couldn't get past the best MAN wording. So I asked her to be in my bridal party so she could be a part of her brothers wedding. But, she will be with me and my girls all day getting ready and I worry she might feel as though she is missing out on being with her family. She was very excited to be asked and I'm really happy I did even though I did so with doubts. I hope your friend is able to get passed this dissapointment and enjoy her brothers special day for what it is. HIS special day.

 

[Stacerita]

I am very close to my brother, I only have the one sibling, and I was not in his wedding party. I was glad that I wasnt. I was able to enjoy the event and not worry that I was near broke from being in it.

If it bothers her, she should talk to her brother. He may not even know that she is unhappy about it.

 

[TwinsinCA]

When I got married it was "expected" that I include one of dh's sisters as one of my bridesmaids. Although I like both of my SIL's I was not really all that close with either. They lived in a different state and I had only met them a few times. But I did have one of them in my wedding. I am closer to her now and don't regret my decision. But I really feel it should be up to the bride. If she has kids, of course they will come first.

I am not sure how old the people involved are. If she is middle aged or older then I can understand being bummed that she has never been in a wedding. But if she is young, her time will come. I was in my mid 20's before I was ever in a wedding. Assuming the OP is not already married, assure her that she will be in YOUR wedding when the time comes.

Being in weddings is overrated IMO.

 

[browneyes106]

Your friend should consider herself very lucky.

Oh boy, that soon to be hubby is going to have his hands full. Imagine telling off your soon to be mother-in-law for something she wasn't even involved in (as far as I can tell). Say goodbye to this guy, he's going to spending every holiday with the wife's family - they're more important.

Bridezilla has arrived.

There are a lot of cracks starting to form with the bride. Her aunt is going to be the wedding photographer and her sister in law is making the cake. My friends aunts and uncles offered to do stuff for the wedding like taking desserts and helping set up tents. My friend's bro told his relatives that their help wasn't needed and that the bride's family will be doing that stuff. In a way the bride basically thinks that the groom's family is "useless". I think once they are married my friend and her family won't see her brother at all. The bride has no boundaries with her nieces and nephews that basically tag along whenever they want to. I think the bride seems controlling.

 

[disykat]

The father rightfully said, "no brother, no wedding".

Wow - this is so totally wrong IMO I just can't believe it. I'm guessing the dad was paying for the wedding and said he would withdraw that gift if he didn't get things his way? Whether they felt the reasoning was good or not, I've never heard of a family dictating who the new "inlaw" was having in his/her wedding party. I feel sorry for the groom.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It would be nice, yes, but it's up to the groom and bride to decide who they want in their wedding.

I did include my sister-in-law in mine, even though I didn't know her well. I just thought it was the right thing to do.

 

[acename]

When I got married it was "expected" that I include one of dh's sisters as one of my bridesmaids. Although I like both of my SIL's I was not really all that close with either.
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Being in weddings is overrated IMO.

I totally agree with all of this. My DH has three sisters and I felt obligated to have all of them in my wedding party. This made it so only my sister and his sisters were bms for me. I had some friends I had to leave out and I still feel a little bad about it. They did other things like the guest book but it's not the same.

Anyway, now I "get" to be in my SIL's wedding next summer. I'm dreading it. She's a total bridezilla.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I didn't read any replies but I think siblings should always be in the wedding party. I too would have been very hurt if my sister didn't ask me.

 

[browneyes106]

When I got married it was "expected" that I include one of dh's sisters as one of my bridesmaids. Although I like both of my SIL's I was not really all that close with either. They lived in a different state and I had only met them a few times. But I did have one of them in my wedding. I am closer to her now and don't regret my decision. But I really feel it should be up to the bride. If she has kids, of course they will come first.

I am not sure how old the people involved are. If she is middle aged or older then I can understand being bummed that she has never been in a wedding. But if she is young, her time will come. I was in my mid 20's before I was ever in a wedding. Assuming the OP is not already married, assure her that she will be in YOUR wedding when the time comes.

Being in weddings is overrated IMO.

I told her that she would definetely be in my wedding. We have known each other our whole lives. We are distant cousins her great grand father and my grandfather were brothers.

 

[browneyes106]

I didn't read any replies but I think siblings should always be in the wedding party. I too would have been very hurt if my sister didn't ask me.

I agree siblings should be included in the wedding.

 

[DawnCt1]

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She has talked to him and he told her that the bride's family is very close and that they deserve to have more involvement in the wedding. The bride also told my friend's mom that their family isn't really close and shouldn't be involved. I don't think he going to give a role in the wedding at all. I agree I don't think there would be anything wrong with having my friend in the wedding party. I feel that at least from both sides should be in the wedding. That is really wrong what happenend to your friends' son.


I agree. I feel that the bride should at least respect the groom's family.

If I were the groom, I would run away! What a bunch of selfish jerks!

 

[MichelleVW]

I didn't read any replies but I think siblings should always be in the wedding party. I too would have been very hurt if my sister didn't ask me.

I wasn't in my sister's wedding and it was no great loss on my part. When they were taking pictures, I was at the open bar with my other sister and other relatives who also weren't in the wedding having a blast!!

 

[diznygirl]

At this point she needs to look at as dodging a bullet.

That's what I was thinking too. Instead of being hurt, she should consider herself lucky and stay quiet - otherwise she'll get the Obligatory Awkward Invite and have to shell out tons of money and not enjoy herself.

I told her that she would definetely be in my wedding. We have known each other our whole lives. We are distant cousins her great grand father and my grandfather were brothers.

Well, there you go. She's all set then!

 

[browneyes106]

If I were the groom, I would run away! What a bunch of selfish jerks!

I know. The bride is only thinking of her family and not the groom's family.