Do you think it is rude (weight related)?

[nsyncraider17]

One of my friends is very thin, and several of my other friends and I get annoyed because she comes to school complaining about how fat she is. And she isn't just saying, "I think I gained some weight over Christmas, I need to get in shape," she's saying "oh my gosh, I was trying on jeans and I had to get a 2! Can you believe how big that is? Pretty soon I'll be needing a 4! I am so fat!" I think that comments like this are completely inconsiderate. I don't think that she's trying to make other people feel fat, but if a 2 or a 4 means she's fat and that's what I wear, what does that make me? I can't imagine how my other friends feel, because several of them wear a 10 or 12.

However, I don't think it is completely wrong for a thin person to say that they want to lose weight or get in shape. I wear small sizes, but I'm also very short, so I feel like I shouldn't be wearing the same size as friends who are 8 inches taller than me, and I do complain about that sometimes. Sometimes I feel insensitive complaining about my body around overweight friends, but most of my friends and I understand each other, and it's not a problem.

I really think that the type of comments made determine whether they are rude or not. I think that thin people should be aware that not everyone is as skinny as them, and they should try to be sensitive to this fact, but I don't think that skinny people have an obligation to only complain about their weight in front of other skinny people.

 

[lilboo]

Is Saffron going to streak again?

I, myself do feel embarrassed when I forget myself and complain out loud about the "5 extra pounds" or whatever within the earshot of someone who is significantly heavier. I'm glad that people are secure enough that this sort of thing doesn't bother them...but certainly not everyone is that secure and so I try to keep comments like that to myself.

Everyone online has perfect figures as far as I can see.

 

[izzy]

Let me say first of all that I am overweight. I've had many of my "thin" friends make comments about their own weight in front of me, some of which made me feel bad, others of which didn't. I think it's all in how it's delivered. If one of them just says something like "I put on a few pounds and would like to get them off so that I can still fit into my clothes" or something like that, I can understand why they're saying it and I don't consider it rude.

However, one of my thin "friends" (and I use that term loosely!) in high school - the girl maybe weighed 100 pounds and wore a size 3 - was always running around saying in front of me "I'm so fat, I'm so fat, I just HAVE to lose weight," just so that everyone would tell her how good she looked and didn't need to lose weight. I got sick and tired of her obvious digs at me and her sad need for positive reinforcement, so one day I said to her "You know, you are getting big. You could stand to lose 5 pounds." That stopped those stupid comments - at least in front of me!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Another thing, sometimes "thin" people see themselves as "fat". It is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. So that person who is a size 3 or a size 2 maybe be suffering from this. Until you walk in that person's shoes you really shouldn't decide whether this person is just an attention seeker because they may have a real problem.

When they look in the mirror they could really see a "fat" person. It is really sad, and it often also involves eating disorders. It is especially prevalent in teenage girls.

 

[tlgoblue]

Just my two cents, but it really depends on the person. Sometimes it is insecurity on the heavier persons part. Sometimes its the other way around. Sometimes it is just plain stupididty, and sometimes it is rude. Other times, (I know this from experience) it is mean spirited. Body image is something each and every one of us has, and it does tend to define us, if not through our own, but others eyes. I guess the important thing is to find many things about ourselves and our neighbors, to feel good about. Then body image won't be such a touchy subect.

Oh yeah! How's this for mean spirited? When I was 18-19, I used to go to the raquette club and find a machine near the heaviest, oldest, (or whatever would do at the time) person and say things like "I don't think I look too bad for being 40" or "I honestly don't understand how people let themselves get to the point they have to come to a gym and sweat!" I'd go home giggling at the looks I would get. Of course I am 40, heavy, and not as attractive, but when I hear snide remarks, I just consider the source. Some people are just nasty.

Tracy

 

[BedKnobbery2]

Originally posted by CEDmom
I don't know a woman alive, myself included, that doesn't feel she needs to lose 5 pounds or more.

Just wanted to say, I'm a live woman who doesn't feel the need to lose 5 pounds or more. I'm quite fat, and very healthy, and really like my body. I do realize I'm in the minority in that regard.

Regarding the OP's query, it depends upon the manner in which it is stated. I realize that some people want to lose weight for health or self-image reasons, or other unnamed pressures. But there are some people who like to complain about their weight to get the "but your not fat!" kind of comments. I don't necessarily think it is rude, but it is annoying. Of course, those kinds of people annoy me in numerous other ways as well, so it doesn't really matter I suppose.

 

[*Fantasia*]

Originally posted by CEDmom
I don't know a woman alive, myself included, that doesn't feel she needs to lose 5 pounds or more. I agree with Jenn Lynn that just because you may think someone is thin doesn't necessarily mean that person thinks she is. Unfortunately it's part of that if only I were _____ (insert thinner, prettier, richer, smarter) syndrome.

Well..You know someone now!! I sure don't feel I need to loose any! If anything...I want to gain 5 lbs!!

I tell people I want to gain weight and the response I get is.."PLZZZ!!" like I am crazy! I have a hard time gaining just like people who are trying to loose weight is not that easy. It goes both ways.

Miss Jasmine-- Another thing, sometimes "thin" people see themselves as "fat". It is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder. So that person who is a size 3 or a size 2 maybe be suffering from this.

I'm glad I don't have that problem. I never see myself as "fat." I think to have some fat on you is more sexier than someone who is slender and boney! I do feel my belly is fat! After having 2 kids, I have some fat there...and my co-workers and friends say..."What fat?!!" Just because I am pettite doesn't mean that I don't have fat belly.

 

[izzy]

You know, it sounds like it's only women who are responding to this post.

Why is it that men never seem to get into these discussions? I've never overheard a group of men moaning and groaning about their weight and "how fat" they are, and how they got their feelings hurt, etc. etc.

Sometimes I think we women are just too hard on ourselves!

 

[lulubelle]

I agree with many of you who feel it is up to each individual. I don't care if you are a size 2 or 22, if you have gained weight, your clothes are too tight or don't fit and you "feel" fat, and you have a right to complain. But you should be prepared to back up your moaning with a diet/exercise plan! I was a size 8 for many, many years and have gone to a 12 this last year and feel huge! But I am on the South Beach Diet and trying to lose 20 pounds. I think women obsess too much about weight. And a truly skinny person has serious issues if they stand around saying "I am so fat, blah, blah, blah..." I sure hope I have never offended anyone complaining myself

 

[Antonia]

I think it is rude to talk about your weight period. Maybe not actually rude in the true sense of the word - but hey, who really wants to hear about your weight. No one REALLY cares about a person's weight besides the person themselves.
My SIL is always commenting about her weight and it drives me nuts. This conversation about her weight has only been going on for about the past 15 years. I do attribute it to insecurity and self-absorption. Man could land on Mars and she would interrupt to tell us about her weight.

 

[CookieGVB]

I think it's rude when people who are normally a size 4 have gone to a size 6 and say things in front of a heavier person like "I'm such a HORSE (pig, cow, whale...insert name of large animal here)...I need to lose about 8 pounds..."

Does this mean she is saying "Oh, but you and your extra 1,000 pounds - on you it looks GOOD."

It's like telling someone with a "C" average - "Oh, I'm such a stupid fool - I only got an "A" instead of my usual "A+" on that test.

A person who isn't so self-centered would realize how a statement like that would come across to the other person, and wouldn't make it.

JMHO.

 

[believe]

I don't think it is rude to talk about your weight at a Mom's group. Isn't that what the group is for? Why should something that one person is concerned about offend another person? I know that even though I am a size 8, I have to work very hard to maintain that because of my metabolism....I was a size 6 just a few months ago...in high school I was much bigger. Should I not talk about what is concerning me? If not, why am I in a Mom's group? Since I have been larger and worked hard to bring it down I find it frustrating to hear individuals talk about how they just can't lose the weight, but they go out to eat 6 days a week. I think...if they really wanted to lose it they would quit going out to eat. Do I say anything to them...no I just listen and be supportive. Unless you are in someone else's shoes you don't know what they are feeling, truly thinking or what obstacles they overcame for them to get where they are.

As for talking about others being fat, that is a big no...no.