Do you share your points? How do you handle?

[FreeTime]

My FIL purchased 100 points in my name so that he could vacation with us. The first few trips were fine. He is flexible and is our babysitter so he always has our vacations off (of course) so time is not an issue. Recently the problem is when I say we are going on such and such date he says that is too far in advance for him. So I make a ressie and don't include him and at the last minute guess who wants to go? Then we are forced to change our plans just to be able to get him a room. He always gets nasty when I explain to him that he understands the booking rules, etc, etc. His response is, fine I'll stay offsite and you can pick me up everyday. On the flip side, we have booked him a room in anticipation that he will go and guess what? He doens't want to on those trips. He said maybe he will let BIL use the points. I said fine, just let me know when. Well that is too far out for me to decide if I want to do that for them, is his response! I am considering offering to buy the points from him, what would you do? Do you share points with anyone, who do you handle it?

 

[Chuck S]

What does your FIL consider "too far" ahead to make plans? You've explained the banking and borrowing rules to him, he says he understands. Has he bcked out from a trip at anytime that it would have been impossible to bank them, or would they have gone into a "holding account"?

I would NOT think 'sharing points" with someone is easy under the best of circumstances, and given that your FIL apparently didn't buy the 100 points as a true gift, but is expeting to use them at his convenience, I'd probably either a)offer to pay him what he paid for the points -or- b)buy him a 100 point resale for the same use year and resort that you own (if possible) so he has total control of HIS points If he uses them or loses them, it will be at his convenience, then you could tell him when and where your travel dates are and he could deal with MS and try to get his own room.

I would not play the on-site/off-site shuttle game during a vacation just for baby sitting services. That could easily eat up 2 hours a day (1 hour to drop off and get settled, and another hour for pick up).

 

[SueOKW]

I agree with prior poster, buy him out or buy him his own. Do you count on his help while at WDW? If so, I would find other help - there are agencies there etc.

Good luck!

ps - I don't share points. In fact, no one from our family knows we own. It's just easier that way!

 

[zurgswife]

Definately buy him out....sounds like your in a non win situation...

 

[dianeschlicht]

I would buy him out and maybe "give" him a certain amount that he can use at his own disgression. I think it would be WAY too hard to share points, even with a close family member. Our adult kids are listed as associates on our contracts, but they do NOT make any of the reservations, and don't expect to.

 

[pumpkinboy]

I dunno. I would think simply making the ressies and including space for him should not be a big problem. Just let him know what the dates are, and call back at the 6 month, then the 3 month, then the 40 day mark so you have a chance to change things without penalty. They are his points, even tho they're in your account, so just use those to cover his probable lodging, and tell him that you are planning on him every time. Surely 6-8 weeks ahead would not be too far in advance for him to make up his mind. Perhaps the thing to do is, reserve a 1BR and a studio instead of a 2BR for example (linked, with a request for connecting rooms) and if he decides not to come, then simply cancel the studio portion; provided you are't too far into your use year, that should give you time to bank the extra points. With those pricy weekend nights, perhaps the thing to do is to simply reserve them for cash, so if you cancel there is no penalty, thereby minimizing the number of points at risk.

Interestingly, we share points in my account too. My Mom bought them using a Trust set aside for a developmentally disabled Aunt (64 yrs old with Down syndrome, and going strong!), so we could send Auntie a couple of times a year with a healthcare worker. Of our 500 some points, 190 are designated for Auntie. I do all the points management, which is a good thing. My Mom is my Aunt's guardian, and I simply tell her when I have gotten reservations and book airfare and everything else, and Mom reimburses me out of Auntie's trust.
While I try to manage the points as two separate accounts, they do intermingle with my family using more in some years and fewer in others. But my Mom trusts me to do the right thing, which helps immensely. Last year, for example, Auntie was not going to use all of her points, so I rented some out on the rent/trade board, and used that $$ for special stuff (like a character breakfast - a big hit BTW) for Auntie's most recent trip.

The fact that I am in near-complete control of DVC things makes it easier for me than your case, for example. But I really hope there is a good way to work it out for you. I do empathize, and realize it must be really frustrating. Then again, your kids are getting all that extra grandfather time, which has become even more precious in my mind having lost FIL last year (so I guess, mainly I'm a bit jealous). Good luck!

 

[debbiedoo]

I agree, I would buy him out.

 

[vernon]

His response is, fine I'll stay offsite and you can pick me up everyday.

My response, unless there is a reason he can't drive, would be " better still we'll rent a car in your name (or insure you on ours) and you can drive yourself"

It sounds like he's being difficult (happens with older relatives so I'm told ) but then we are only hearing one side of the story. Maybe it's just a phase he's going through, maybe he thinks you make too much of a fuss about things that he doesn't worry about (possibly because he doesn't understand the difficulties in managing the account).

If it's his money that bought the points and his money that pays for the dues, let him worry about how he's going to use (or lose) them.

If he is as much of a grumpy old man as you suggest, then I think it highly likely he will take great offense at your suggestion to buy him out, unless you do it with great tact. I would presume there is a reason why he bought the points in your name? I would guess he's planning to leave them to you when he dies.

 

[FreeTime]

He is planning on giving he points to us in the future, so I certainly appreciate that he is paying for them. If he doesn't go it isn't a burden, but it is a nice perk. After about 5 hours in the park he is done for the week and wants to stay in with the kids. I have considered for our next trip getting a 1br and a studio so that we won't have to move things around to try and accomodate him. Then if he changes his mind I can explain that I can attempt to rent it to someone, he can rent it to someone, or cancel, etc.

It just bothers me because I don't want him to think that I don't want him there, or that we are using him to get points later. But, I am a planner and like to know what I am doing well in advance. DH and I want to go to DL next year, which FIL will not fly. So I am fearful that I will hear him complaining that he has a TS that he can't use (although he is choosing not to use!)

Thanks all!

 

[Cruelladeville]

Either buy the points from him, or rent a two bedroom unit, and then if he doesn't come along, then you can still use the two bedroom and you can REALLY spread out. Let him know ahead of time that you are paying for the 2nd bedroom whether he comes along or not, because you are done with playing games, and then follow thru. You are acting as his travel agent, unpaid, so you deserve the perk of having the two bedroom at your disposal.

 

[greenban]

Either buy the points from him, or rent a two bedroom unit, and then if he doesn't come along, then you can still use the two bedroom and you can REALLY spread out. Let him know ahead of time that you are paying for the 2nd bedroom whether he comes along or not, because you are done with playing games, and then follow thru. You are acting as his travel agent, unpaid, so you deserve the perk of having the two bedroom at your disposal.

FWIW ITA with the above post (Don't worry, no one in the entire DIS universe, really cares what I think, so don't you either!)

But if FIL paid the points and dues, they are his until he gives 'em to ya, so I'd book 2BRs exclusively, and thank FIL whether he comes on a particular trip or not. As the proud dad of 3 wonderful kids, I'm not sure which I value more, 100 *free* DVC points, or trusted & reliable baby sitting......

I'm leaning to the sitting!

Best of Luck!

-Tony

 

[betslinc]

As a person who has struggled with balancing work and family, one thing that has become incredibly precious to me is reliable childcare. This guy loves and baby-sits your child? Pays his own way when he joins you on vacation AND provides childcare? If the biggest problem is that sometimes a few points are wasted, most people would trade places in an instant. You seem to enjoy planning your vacations, and like scheduling things much in advance. That's great for you, but maybe not so great for him. Some people's idea of vacation is to hang out and do whatever they want, whenever they want. Everybody is different. I'd give him a little space and appreciate all he does for you. It sounds like a minor annoyance in the context of an awesome situation. Good luck!

 

[NMW]

I would buy him out. If you have to, make it a legal arrangement with interest and a payment schedule if you don't have all the cash at once. I would just tell him that he is making planning vacations too stressful on you and it needs to stop. If he doesn't agree to this, I would insist on putting the points in his name and let him deal with booking his own vacations. I'm sorry, I realize he is a relative, but I just don't think anyone has the right to make you unhappy or be "nasty" to you. Life is too short to let others treat you this way. Just my opinion!

 

[AFMom]

I have to say - I agree with Betslinc. Anyway - if he doesn't mind losing his points, and he's paying for them - then try not to let it worry you. The 1 bdrm + a studio sounds like the way to go - maybe he'd even feel like he has more of his own room. I don't want to be morbid - but I lost both of my parents when I was 25, my kids were too young to remember them, and most of my regrets are about all the little petty things that we let get to us. I know it may not feel petty to you, and is a major hassle - but think twice before you do anything rash. You have a grandpa that wants to be very involved in your childrens lives - that's worth blowing 100 points a year!