Do you run a daycare? Question...

[nuttylawprofessor]

Have you had a biter in your daycare? Did you boot the biter out of your care center? At what point would you boot a biter?

TIA for any replies.

 

[MarieFan]

Well, I think it would depend on a few things.

The first thing is age - I had a little one who at the age of 11 months or so, bit another little one who was the same age. More than once. They are so fast, and it was unprovoked. He was trying out his new teeth, I guess. That did not make the little girl's parents feel much better about it. And his parents were horrified, but what can you do? I tried to keep him separated from the others (playpen, which I have otherwise used ONLY for napping) if I could not be sitting on the floor with them.

I was more frustrated with the two year old who did it when she was mad. I didn't kick her out, I would have to have more reasons, or it would have to go on much longer, but if she had been any older or any of the other things I mentioned, I think it would be justified.

Which kind of explains my "few things" it depends on. If you have other reasons to have the child no longer in your care, don't enjoy that family, get too frustrated to handle the situation appropriately or any other reason that you don't want to continue caring for the child, then you don't need justification to tell them to go. Generally, the biting will stop before too long.

Good luck!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I think you'll get a range of answers.

I don't run a daycare, but we had experience with this situation. Our child was in a 3 year old class. Our child got bit as well as other children in this 3 year old class. The first time we weren't notified, my child told me. There were teeth mark bruises and a ring that lasted over a week. I was livid. I was assured it wouldn't happen again and told my child that. The second bite happened the very next time the biter was in class. Again, I wasn't notified, my child told me. I spoke with the director and asked if they had a policy for biters and the answer was, "No.". I told her you need to get one. Pulled my children out of the daycare and never looked back.

Of course they wanted my other child at the time to stay, because it "only effected the one child". And they suggested we work around the biter's schedule and we could stay. How whacked out is that? No policy and no sense. It was bad.

 

[KAMKIM]

Have you had a biter in your daycare? Did you boot the biter out of your care center? At what point would you boot a biter?

TIA for any replies.

I dont own a daycare but my kids have attended one before. I guess it would depend on the severity of the biting. Is it consistent, what have you done up to this point to prevent the biting? This is a tough call. Parents would be mad if their kids got bit (rightfully so) but in truth ALOT of kids go through this stage so at any given point the bitee can become the biter.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Yeah, I should clarify. If one of my charges started biting others in class, we'd have a serious problem. My students are in law school. They may be a rabid bunch, but I don't think they will resort to actual biting.

My toddler has been bit a few times in daycare. Other students have been bit as well. I was just curious about how other daycare professionals have dealt with serial biters.

 

[Normangirls]

They may be a rabid bunch, but I don't think they will resort to actual biting.

Well, they are future lawyers...

 

[pajamommy]

Hi, I'm the director of a large daycare center. I agree with the person that said it depends on the age and other factors. I have had to kick out one child because of his biting......he was 2 going on 3, and he bit almost every day, breaking the skin. Several of the kids in his class had to go on antibiotics because the skin was broken, and the doctor wanted to err on the side of caution. We did have many discussions with the mother of the biter, many conferences with her to determine why the child was biting as he was, and what we could all do to remedy it. She did tell us that they had several dogs, and that her son played with the dogs and they "bit" each other while playing. In this situation, he was biting almost everyday, and the parents of the other kids were getting very upset, in addition to their kids having to go on meds after getting bit. It was worth telling this family that they had to go, in order to keep our other kids safe. Currently, I have a child that is not quite two, who bites on occasion, and was seeming to pick one particular child to bite. He was ready to move up to an older group, so we did that, so he is now removed from the child he tended to bite all the time, and being with a little bit older group, the biting has subsided for the most part. It really depends on each individual situation. Good luck!

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Thanks, Jen.

My child is in a fantastic center with a wonderful teacher. One of her classmates has taken to using others as chew toys. The bites are serious. He's breaking skin and giving nasty bruises. The center continues to alter plans and supervision to try to prevent bites, but it hasn't stopped. While we have an idea of when we'll say enough is enough, I wanted some perspectives from those in the business regarding when they would believe enough is enough.

 

[aprilgail2]

Where my daughter went they had a biter---the parents got two warnings and the third time the child did it he was kicked out. They were 2 1/2- 3 at the time.

 

[bellebud]

our preschool's rule was the 2nd time, the biter is out. This was the 3 year old class (my ds was bit RIGHT next to his eye - by the cutest, shirley temple looking little girl). Anyway, the teacher told the little girls parents that at 3yo, they don't expect biting. If she did it again, she had to leave.

So a lot depends on age I think.

 

[luvsJack]

Had a center for 12 years.

We never put a child out for biting. We had certain procedures we followed to prevent biting (if you have children from 0-5 years old, it WILL happen; might as well try and prevent it). Things were put in the classroom that were "safe" to bite for the smaller kids. The classrooms were all set up with quiet stations to give them a place to go to be quiet and alone (the stress of being in a large group can cause biting). We kept the groups as small as possible to give the caregivers the ability to stay close to all the children. (too many kids=not enough attention=biting, hitting and other aggressive behavior)

When we had a biter (either because the parent told us they had bitten at home or because they bit at the center) we shadowed that child as much as possible. Meaning at least one caregiver stayed as close to that child as possible at all times. At least within arm's length.

If the child bit, a note was sent home. At NO time was it ever told to the biters mom who he/she bit or to the child bitten's mom who bit him/her.

Right after the bite, we gave as much attention as humanly possible to the bitten child while giving as little as possible to the biter.

We had all kinds of biters. One little girl seemed to bite just to see if she could make the other's cry. After much discussion with her mom, the child's older sister was doing the same thing to her. After the mother took care of the sister, it wasn't long before the biting stopped.

The thing that I always stressed to my caregivers/teachers and parents was that a biter is really no worse than a hitter. Many, many times its just the way the child communicates.

I did have one child that bit another to the point of breaking the skin. The doctor didn't put the child on oral antibiotics but a topical antibiotic. After a long talk with the employees that were present (something I did before the discussion with the parent), I discovered that the person in charge of the child had her attention elsewhere (not on a child) and didn't see him bite the other child. I didn't remove the child, but I did tell the employee that she would be removed if it happened again.

BTW, I also learned over the years that a biter will give off signals that they are about to bite (well, most do anyway).

 

[luvsJack]

our preschool's rule was the 2nd time, the biter is out. This was the 3 year old class (my ds was bit RIGHT next to his eye - by the cutest, shirley temple looking little girl). Anyway, the teacher told the little girls parents that at 3yo, they don't expect biting. If she did it again, she had to leave.

So a lot depends on age I think.

Its really not fair to go by age. Preschool age children are all over the map with maturity levels. It really more to do with the developmental stage of a child than with their age.

 

[pipersmom]

My daughter's daycare center also had a 3 strikes and you're out rule, I was kind of surprised at the number of posters who have said there was no real policy in place at theirs. IMO biting IS worse than hitting, and if my child had ever been bitten by a known biter (ie..not the first time it happened) I would have been royally ticked off.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

Had a center for 12 years.

When we had a biter (either because the parent told us they had bitten at home or because they bit at the center) we shadowed that child as much as possible. Meaning at least one caregiver stayed as close to that child as possible at all times. At least within arm's length.

If the child bit, a note was sent home. At NO time was it ever told to the biters mom who he/she bit or to the child bitten's mom who bit him/her.

Right after the bite, we gave as much attention as humanly possible to the bitten child while giving as little as possible to the biter.

We had all kinds of biters. One little girl seemed to bite just to see if she could make the other's cry. After much discussion with her mom, the child's older sister was doing the same thing to her. After the mother took care of the sister, it wasn't long before the biting stopped.

The thing that I always stressed to my caregivers/teachers and parents was that a biter is really no worse than a hitter. Many, many times its just the way the child communicates.

I did have one child that bit another to the point of breaking the skin. The doctor didn't put the child on oral antibiotics but a topical antibiotic. After a long talk with the employees that were present (something I did before the discussion with the parent), I discovered that the person in charge of the child had her attention elsewhere (not on a child) and didn't see him bite the other child. I didn't remove the child, but I did tell the employee that she would be removed if it happened again.

BTW, I also learned over the years that a biter will give off signals that they are about to bite (well, most do anyway).

Sounds like the center I work at. Right now we have a 2.5 year old biter. the other day he wanted a toy and looked at me and said "I bite him?" So he knows what hes doing. Some kids bite because it feels good to them, so it must feel good to there freinds. One thing that works for us is Loudly saying " Biting hurts, Ouch, I dont like that!"

 

[luvsJack]

My daughter's daycare center also had a 3 strikes and you're out rule, I was kind of surprised at the number of posters who have said there was no real policy in place at theirs. IMO biting IS worse than hitting, and if my child had ever been bitten by a known biter (ie..not the first time it happened) I would have been royally ticked off.

One reason it seems worse is because it seems more personal. But if a child is picking up toys and chunking them or swinging them at others, they can do a lot more damage than a bite.

Your last statement is the very reason that we had a STRICT policy that no employee was to discuss with the parents who bit and who got bit. The parent would be told "Johnny got bit today" or "Johnny bit today" or a note was sent home. If the two parents picked up at the same time, the bitten child's parent was told and then the biter's parent called later. Any conference with the parent was done privately and usually between me and the parent.

 

[luvsJack]

Sounds like the center I work at. Right now we have a 2.5 year old biter. the other day he wanted a toy and looked at me and said "I bite him?" So he knows what hes doing. Some kids bite because it feels good to them, so it must feel good to there freinds. One thing that works for us is Loudly saying " Biting hurts, Ouch, I dont like that!"

Sounds like the 2.5 year old is learning to use his words. That's a great start on stopping it.

Along with the adult telling them "biting hurts" sometimes it helps for the children to say "no! biting hurts" that gets the message across that it hurts the child they are biting.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

Sounds like the 2.5 year old is learning to use his words. That's a great start on stopping it.

Along with the adult telling them "biting hurts" sometimes it helps for the children to say "no! biting hurts" that gets the message across that it hurts the child they are biting.

Another child reated inteverntion is when the other kids start with " Me no play him, He bite, it hurt" (actully said recently in my center). It does help cause then when the biter gets upset you can remind him that biting hurts and that no one wants to be bit.