Do you pay your kids for good grades?

[EKW]

I guess if I had a child who was unmotivated and unwilling to try for any other reason, I'd give it a go. Luckily, my boys understand that they are expected to do well in school, so this hasn't been an issue for me.

We do celebrate report cards...as in, they get to choose where to go for dinner and a movie or other fun activity when they get their report cards.

One caution to all: I've seen this backfire when families have one or more children who are of above-average intelligence and a child who has learning disabilities. LD kids feel pressured to get the same grades their siblings get, even if that isn't realistic for them. Anyone who has an LD kiddo needs to make sure the goals are realistic...all A's probably isn't realistic unless your kiddo is being graded based on work at his/her ability level.

 

[DawnM]

If you have kids who are ALL capable of As, maybe it would be a good incentive.

But if you have kids who struggle more than the others I find it a very unfair system and just another way to show that you value those who can perform better even if they both try their best.

I have one son who is a very struggling learner and would be in resource if he were in public school.

I give allowance, and it is tied to chores and schooling (homeschool), but it is based on schoolwork completed not the grade itself.

Dawn

 

[kinntj]

We're not at that age group yet where we need to. If I felt if may help in the future, I wouldn't completely rule it out. We all have different motivators.

 

[luvmy3]

We don't pay for good grades either. My kids are very good students so we never needed to use reward as a motivation, and we expect them to get get good grades, and be good students. We do celebrate good report cards by going out to dinner, we just don't give them individual payment.

My friend's dd got a straight A's and she told her she could get whatever she wanted for Christmas because of it. I know if I said that, I'd be regretting it when I got the bill

 

[poiizon]

i dont i just push them with words ;D

 

[luvmy3]

I do reward my daughter (age 10) for A's at the end of each six weeks. I think of it as a job. In many jobs if you do a superior job, you get a bonus (or at least a raise). School is her job so if she does a great job, she gets a bonus.

On the same token though, she is typically grounded 3 - 6 weeks for B's unless I'm aware that she's struggled all six weeks in a particular area and has worked hard.

If you consider As "great" and deserving of a bonus, why wouldn't you consider B's good grades?
I was grounded for B grades growing up. I was a great student and perfectly capable of As, but didn't put forth the effort that I could have, to me Bs were good enough, but to my parent they were not. It backfired, once i was in college I realized I was in control, and I quit. Just some food for thought.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Grounded for B's???? That seems like alot of pressure to me.

WAY TOO MUCH, and for a 10 year old. DS is a senior and I have seen this back fire way too many times. Parents, and I admit I did too to some degree, put way too much focus on lower grades grades. They need to learn how to learn and to learn the love of learning that will last a lifetime. They need to form good study habits and learn self motivation to get them though subjects they do not like or are not good at.

Sometimes grades are out of a child's control. Some teachers just give very few A's. Papers get lost, kids are out sick (or for a WDW trip.

Now I have been known to discipline for a not doing well on a test, I KNOW he did not study for but a month grounding for a B, just not fair even for a child that is able to make all A's most of the time.

Grades can fall for reasons a parent and teacher, nor even child, may be aware of . Eyesight can change making it harder to focus. It may seem the child is not trying hard. With an undiagnosed illness, the child just does not feel himself, but not bad enough to identify a symptom. Child comes across as lazy. Depression is much more common with kids than many realize and the pressure to work harder can make it worse!

Some children who were able to easily make all A's in lower grades, may simply not have the ability to do this as the work increases in higher grades. Not all kids can make all A's and that's ok!


motivation is critical but be sure you motivate learning, not just earning a grade.

 

[klacey1]

I was never paid for grades and can't imagine doing so with my kids. I made straight A's all of middle/high school-- money was never a motivating factor. Of course, my father believed if he ever complimented me on a job well done at school, I'd "get a big head" and stop doing well, so it was 100% my own motivation/intelligence. I didn't get an allowance, per se, but I never went without going out with friends, etc. I was also an incredible saver of birthday/Christmas money and used that for fun money, as well.
I almost see it as a form of bribery, whereas I think kids should WANT to do well in school. It's their main responsibility. If it works for some families though, great!

 

[pandora174]

DS doesn't get an allowance but he does have a piggy bank that he gets money for extra chores. He's in 2nd grade now so I get a bi-weekly grade update & then the report card every quarter.

This report card was (all good & 1 satisfactory in the core grades), the rest where outstanding so we went to see Harry Potter, lunch & he had a $20 budget at Gamestop.

We have told DS 7 that if he gets all Outstanding or next year all A's he gets a trip to TRU Trust me DS is a good student who tries his best but if we saw all A's I'd race to TRU !!!

For the bi weekly progress report he gets praise when it's good work, suggestions on improving the lower scores & an occasional pizza dinner for really good effort or if he brings a grade up, like he did Math from a C to a B !

I don't know whatever works for your child & your family dynamics is what I do.

 

[Tink6666]

I was paid for grades in high school, not much but a little. I have 2 sisters, one was a straight A without trying, the other tried and also got A's and a few B's...me I tried hard and got B's and C's. We do not pay our kids for grades, but Grandma does. My youngest gets straight A's with little effort and my oldest fights for B's. If they have B's or better it is $50, if they have a C it is $10 for each A and $5 for each B and no money for C's. Since it is such a struggle for my oldest DD, we will reward her the difference as long as she tries, as we feel it is unfair if she tried her best.

 

[arihillfarm]

I guess if I had a child who was unmotivated and unwilling to try for any other reason, I'd give it a go. Luckily, my boys understand that they are expected to do well in school, so this hasn't been an issue for me.

We do celebrate report cards...as in, they get to choose where to go for dinner and a movie or other fun activity when they get their report cards.

We do the same thing with our almost 10 year old 4th grade daughter. Straight A's means she gets to pick where we eat dinner and we take her out as a kind of congrats dinner to celebrate her accomplishment. So far, she's had straight A's with the exception of one B last year in third grade, so it must be working.

She's not as responsible or as aware as we would like right now, so we're pushing more responsibility onto her for getting assignments and projects completed and turned in under her own volition. Last week we got notice by e-mail that she had failed to turn in a major science project (that I knew she completed on-time, but it sat in her locker for TWO weeks!) and two smaller in class assignments were missing. That dropped her A in science to a big, fat F and she paid dearly for it. She spent that afternoon and evening after school scrubbing the toilets and bathrooms, pulling weeds from the garden and flower beds, cleaning the garage, cleaning up the barn (we have livestock) and other tasks that needed to be done but that are not part of her usual chores. We impressed on her that there are two ways to make your way through life; use your brain or for those unwilling or unable to use their brain, you'll be doing manual labor to get by and pay the bills. I have to say that she put 150% into everything she did that night (when she usually does enough to get by) and by the next morning, her attitude was greatly improved. The project was turned in and she made arrangements with the teacher about the two missing smaller assignments.

-Astrid

 

[Trixiezzz]

We do reward As and Bs with a cash bonus, but it is mainly as a way of giving them money -- so they can learn to manage it.

We don't give allowances, because they have to do chores just to be a responsible member of the family.

And because of a small extended family, they receive next to NO money for birthdays or Christmas.

We think it's very important to learn those 'budget your money' lessons early (before some company tries to give them a credit card in college ).

So, since we tell them that their #1 job is to be a student, we give them a bonus is they do really well -- I figure that does mirror the way society really works with a paying job.

And, then, that money is what they use for every extra during that nine weeks. When they say, "can I have so-and-so", I say "sure, save your money!" We've found when it takes them several months to save up enough for some $100 item, they really take care of it more. Also, it has eliminated (well....almost ) some of the impulse buying of junk. They see that they are going to be farther away from their "goal".

Heck, that's what I have to do to save up to go to Disney.... I want them to experience the benefit of delaying gratification. And without an income of some sort, they don't have anything to practice with.

 

[jessp1021]

We don't reward with an exact money amount per say..our son is merely points away from straight A's (he has ADHD and it can be very challenging for him to focus sometimes) but they have informed us that if he continues on the route he is on that he will be considered "gifted" as of next year which is awesome bc he really is a super smart kid! Our reward is more of a special trip kindof deal..if he get's A/B honor roll then we make a trip to Walmart and he had $10 to spend..if he get's A's then he gets a trip to the Lego store which is a few towns away and a major motivator for him..he is 9 and get's a weekly allowance of $2.50 and yessssss I know that isn't much but I don't want him to grow into the I am only doing what I have to in order to get money mode..he does what is asked of him and usually by the end of the month has enough saved up to get what he would like

 

[richmond282]

I didn'te read any of the responses, but. NO, I do not pay my child for good grades. I expect her to make good grades with out being paid. I pay her an "allowance" for doing specific chores around the house. If she doesn't work, she doesn't get paid.

 

[badblackpug]

If you have kids who are ALL capable of As, maybe it would be a good incentive.

But if you have kids who struggle more than the others I find it a very unfair system and just another way to show that you value those who can perform better even if they both try their best.

I have one son who is a very struggling learner and would be in resource if he were in public school.

I give allowance, and it is tied to chores and schooling (homeschool), but it is based on schoolwork completed not the grade itself.

Dawn

This is my question, too. While neither of my older 2 (younger ones aren't in school, yet) are struggling, my son get all A's with no effort at all. My daughter gets A's and B's, but works to get them. If I used the payment system, my son would get more money for less work. This doesn't seem fair.

If you pay your kids, what do you do if you have more than 1 child and they have different abilities?

 

[DisneyNutMary]

If you pay your kids, what do you do if you have more than 1 child and they have different abilities?

Though I am always happy to tell people my methods, I never recommend that anyone use my methods. I think a parent needs to know their own child or children and modify others ideas to fit their own situation. My boys have natural photographic memories, and need only to be present in the classroom for a lecture to retain all that was said, and regurgitate it on a test... my sister's kids, however, have to work at getting good grades. My sister rewards her kids on the second, third and fourth report cards, but not the first, she rewards their hard work on maintaining or improving their grades. Her system workd for her. Also, I have a friend whose children really struggle in school, one has a a processing disability, one has anxiety issues and one just needs to take his time to read things in order to comprehend. She rewards her kids on their report cards, not for A's, but for any grade that is not an F, reason being, she watches them struggle every night with homework and studying, so she wants to make report card day a stress free occasion, not a day to dread.

So many different methods, all work for different families, all for different reasons.

 

[finz2left]

I was paid for grades in high school, not much but a little. I have 2 sisters, one was a straight A without trying, the other tried and also got A's and a few B's...me I tried hard and got B's and C's. We do not pay our kids for grades, but Grandma does. My youngest gets straight A's with little effort and my oldest fights for B's. If they have B's or better it is $50, if they have a C it is $10 for each A and $5 for each B and no money for C's. Since it is such a struggle for my oldest DD, we will reward her the difference as long as she tries, as we feel it is unfair if she tried her best.

If you have the time, here is a GREAT Time article explaining that paying for grades has little to no effect, BUT paying for small achievements (reading books, dressing well, attendance, etc. can, under the right circumstances).

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1978589-1,00.html

 

[momxx5]

DisNutMary,
That is a very interesting and informative perspective.

We certainly do NOT pay any of the kids for their grades. We are so blessed to have bright, kind and healthy children. I do not expect anything from them academcailly that I do not feel they are capable of.

I do not see paying them for good grades is productive in any way. I feel that bribing, which essentially it is, does set a good precedent. When does it end....after middle school, in high school, college, masters program??? What about a child that takes Honor classes or AP classes vs a child that takes general high school classes. Does Ap Cal pay more that Algebra II? How do you set the guidelines?

All of my children are capable of straight A's on most all of their school work. There may be a topic/unit here or there that they may not automatcially get, thus ending up with a B. However, thankfully those times are few and are between.

When I do see a B on something I know that they are well capable of doing better on, especially a project or assignment that they have procrastinated on I do get upset.

There have been times when they were restricted from use of video games, tv, or computer fun time because of their "lack of responsibility" concerning school.

Again, I do not expect anything from them that they are not fully capable of.

(Another huge pet peeve of mine is paying their children for scoring a goal in soccer or basketball....is it not expected that they try their best and have fun doing so? I have seen 7 yr olds in tears because they didn't get that goal, thus not getting $5 that Saturday. Or another child wonder why Johnny gets paid to play basketball??)

 

[disneychrista]

I didn't pay my kids but they earned their clothing allowance with their grades.

 

[Tinkertude]

We did not pay for grades. Unless you count college tuition. And there was two strings attached, good grades and a time line to reach their goal.