Do You mark passed Relatives birthdays ?

[Spinneret]

go to the graves

 

[luvnwdwgal]

My mom’s birthday was Christmas Day, so yes.

 

[mrsstats79]

No we don't go to graves on birthdays.

 

[luvthatduke]

I tread lightly around the dates of DH's
parent's birthdays & deaths. They died young
when DH & his brothers were young men.
On those days I will ask DH how he is
feeling just to let him know
that I haven't forgotten.

 

[nene0182]

I do not go to my moms grave. Her ashes interred in Florida and I live in ND. My sister and I live 1400 miles away from each other as well but we both make sure to have red velvet cake every year with our spouses and children for our mama’s birthday since it was her favorite.

 

[Tiggerette]

My Mom isn't buried nearby or in the next three states from me. So, I mark her passing different ways. My father marks her birthday. Last year was the first "birthday" without her, and he had a cake with her name on it. Made the family sing happy birthday at a tempo that felt like a dirge. That said, my mom really did like parties, and I think would have liked a party in her honour- just a more uplifting tempo and one celebrating her life. Everyone grieves in their own way and timing, so we'll see what happens this year in support.

 

[tvguy]

My mom and dad are interred 120 miles from where I live. This year mom would have been 100, and this year marks 10 years since she passed away. Mom told me many times not to bother visiting her grave site because "I'm not there". So while I thought of her on her birthday, and the day she passed, which was 9 days later, I did not visit her grave.
My dad died 46 years before my mom. Other than the day he was buried, my mom only went once to his grave, when I took her and as she was in her 80's at the time, I think she wanted one more look at what would also be her final resting place.
I have been to my parents gravesite 6 times in the last 10 years, and also my Grandparents (my dad's parents). They are interred 5 miles away from my parents. And my wife and I will be interred with my Grandparents because we discovered we own 3 grave sites there. But I agree with my mom, none of them are there. In the case of my parents, they live on in my memories and heart. As for my Grandparents, they passed 36 years before I was born, so I never knew them.

 

[goofyernmost]

My parents and all of my other relatives are interned about 1000 miles away, so no. My X wife is inurned in a plot that we will share. (long story but having to do with financial help for my children. I have no intention of remarrying so why waste valuable space.) I do visit her/my eventual grave site, occasionally, no specific day, just when the mood hits me.

 

[Jingle]

Something I find very odd, but I see all the time, are Facebook posts that say something like Happy Heavenly Birthday Uncle Harry! What is the point?

 

[Meriweather]

I don't go to graves.....too far away.
I think about them on their birthday and silently wish them a happy one.
Mother was a Valentine Baby and Dad a Columbus Day (before it was a Monday holiday).

 

[georgina]

No. It may inadvertently come to mind as DH's mom was born on Dec 25 and my mom on Dec28, and my dad died on Dec 23.

 

[tazdev3225]

My parents are still alive although they are in their 80's They want to be cremated and their ashes buried together somewhere. We aren't big on cemetery visits though. My husband sees no need to go out to visit his parents although I have offered to take him.

I do wish my maternal grandmother a Happy Birthday every year as she let it be known she would haunt us, and I believe her. Weird things happen when we forget. My paternal grandmother and I had our birthdays two days apart. Every year I go to Friendly's and get a banana split in her memory as that was our tradition when I became an adult, we always took my kids because she so enjoyed that. I do wish them happy birthday on Facebook and am always touched by the fond memories and comments about them. It's nice to know how fondly they are remembered and were loved and are still missed.

 

[NAB]

I have only been to my parents grave a few times. I don’t live there but go back to see my siblings that do so it wouldn’t be hard to do.

When birthday or death dates come up I do remember them more and tell my husband or kids it would have been so and so’s ……

Really I can be doing anything and think I wish I could be with or ask a question.

 

[sk!mom]

My dad passed away 7 years ago. I try to commemorate his birthday in a way that honors who he was (a minister who loved nothing more than serving others.) His birthday was yesterday. My sister and I served at a kids summer lunch site in the middle of the day and then my DS and I went out for a hamburger (my dads favorite) lunch. I’ll never stop missing him.

My dad was cremated and my mom has the ashes so no grave to visit. We’ll have to sort that when she passes. We already navigated that when DH’s dad passed. He had his
Mom’s ashes so at dad’s passing we had to figure out what to do with both.

 

[leebee]

No. I have been to my father's grave once since he died 53 years ago. My mother was cremated and scattered at sea, so I guess technically you could say I visit her every time we go to the ocean, but no. We (my siblings and I) didn't have the greatest relationship with my mother, and I am the only one who remembers my father, so I guess it's not surprising. We also don't do "happy heavenly birthday" or anything like that (although this is a timely thread as my father's 106th birthday would be in 2 days... July 30).

One summer my sister and I did a cemetery tour, though. We found our grandparents', great grandmother's, and great aunts' grave sites. These are people we remember, so it was interesting but not sad or morbid in any way. We visited our dad's grave and discovered it's in the same corner of the cemetery as three sets of aunts and uncles (my dad's sisters) and a close family friend whom we've always considered an aunt, so that was interesting to discover. Finally, that summer my brother and sister came up and they, DD, and I drove out to Thorndike, ME, which is about an hour and a half from where I currently live. We'd learned that my great-grandmother and her family were originally from Thorndike, so I did a little searching on Ancestry for some details. We went to check out the cemetery and I have a picture of DD standing at a family gravesite; she's the 9th generation descendant.

 

[DawnM]

No, my parents are buried about 15 hours away, in an area we never go to, so I am not even sure I will ever see the tombstone I ordered for them.