do you like the girls your sons bring home?

[Tiggeroo]

i have twin 18yo sons. they have a big group of mixed friends. I love the girls they hang with as part of their group. But I rarely like the girls my boys date. The girls frequently try to get bossy/demanding. This is generally why the relationships end. Right now I think my boys are all about good looks, etc. They haven't crossed over to good personality. They have occasionally had a gf who had both but rarely. I keep my mouth shut about these young relationships. But even still my sons tend to not bring a girl around til they've been a couple for a bit.
I am thinking that one day when they've grown a bit they will date one of the lifelong friend girls in their group. I'm glad they haven't yet since i would hate to see friendships end.

 

[Michie]

My boys are too shallow, self centered, and cheap to keep a girlfriend too long. I think the longest was maybe 10 days
They do have a lot of female friends, and they are all very nice. But they have made it clear to any female who they think is interested, which in their minds means all females, that they do not want to get serious. So it has never been a problem for me.

 

[Microcell]

No one is good enough, plain and simple!!!!

(DS is 3!!) Man do I not envy his future girlfriends!

 

[ducklite]

I have liked most of the "girlfriends" but don't like the majority of girl "friends". He's had an on and off LD relationship with a girl who lives about 500 miles away, and I've spoken to her on the phone many times. She's polite and respectful and I like her the most of all of them. But I'm also glad she's not too close LOL!

Anne

 

[LvsTnk]

Hmmmm..

I have an 18yo almost 19yo son and I have to say that I haven't been crazy about any one girl yet. But...I go to great pains to make sure they are included, invited, and accepted in our home.

This has got me to thinking about DD's (16yo) relationship with her BF's(18yo) mother. They have been together for about a year. His mother can't wait for the relationship to end. To quote her "they are wasting each others time" I think she really needs to get over it.

So I wonder because I really can't see anything wrong with DD except that she is dating a boy who is going to school 20 hours away....do the girls my son dates know I am really not crazy about them??

I really want to be nice to whomever my kids bring home unless they have a criminal record or something. I want my kids and BF's, GF's to feel comfortable around us, so of course my kids will still want to spend time with us.

 

[Tiggeroo]

My boys are too shallow, self centered, and cheap to keep a girlfriend too long

I think it's a good thing. That's mostly how my sons are although they both had a gf who lasted a little bit longer, couple months. They don't want to give up time with their friends, surfing, music, etc for a gf. Both of them with their one longest lasting thing was with girls who had lives as full as they do. Girls who were in sports, had good girlfriends, etc. These girls understood.
One son has college track as a big priority right now. He really doesn't have time. But they bring lots of girls around. They just rotate alot.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

My boyfriend's mom does not like me. She worries I am distracting him from his school work and she doesn't like that we are spending the night together at his school.

 

[Tiggeroo]

i'm betting it's a mother son thing. Nobody seems good enough. With my dd and her bf he's a part of our family. But I never feel like a guy will pull dd away from us the way girls have the potential of doing with the sons.

 

[Michie]

Rotate I know neither one of my boys are interested in a serious relationship, and honestly they are just not ready. They both want to finish college.

And you are right Tiggeroo. It is a good thing for them to be shallow. I don't want anything to detour them from finishing college. I want them to be able to support themselves~and get their own place

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I dont have children, but i have a brother who is 19 (im 21)...we both live at home while hes going to community college and im going to college in south jersey...
I really dont like the majority of the girls my brother dates--he just brings home the "cute" girls and most of them are very rude and annoying...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't have a son of that age, but I do have my DD. One thing to really keep in mind as a mother of either a daughter or a son is that person that they are dating *could* be "the one. I try to present myself that way with my DD's boyfriends. What I mean by that is that I am nice to the boyfriend, treat them well, and am respectful. I hope to get the same thing back from them and I know that if the relationship ever evolves into something more that we will have gotten off on the right foot.

My DD has had 2 "real" boyfriends. She has really noticed how differently the moms of those two boyfriends have treated her. One has included her in going out to dinner, cooking meals that my DD would enjoy, a ski weekend, etc. The other did very little. Their financial situation is different, which she shouldn't hold against them, but the attitude is different, too.

 

[poohandwendy]

Mine hasn't brought any of them 'home' yet (e has had a few GFs but nothing serious yet at 16), but I am going to guess NO! Just kidding, sort of.

I am not worried about the 'girls' he brings home, I am more worried about the woman he brings home...the 'one'...I hope she is worthy.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

I don't have a son of that age, but I do have my DD. One thing to really keep in mind as a mother of either a daughter or a son is that person that they are dating *could* be "the one. I try to present myself that way with my DD's boyfriends. What I mean by that is that I am nice to the boyfriend, treat them well, and am respectful. I hope to get the same thing back from them and I know that if the relationship ever evolves into something more that we will have gotten off on the right foot.

My DD has had 2 "real" boyfriends. She has really noticed how differently the moms of those two boyfriends have treated her. One has included her in going out to dinner, cooking meals that my DD would enjoy, a ski weekend, etc. The other did very little. Their financial situation is different, which she shouldn't hold against them, but the attitude is different, too.

See I am the one...his mom doesn't know it for sure but suspects it..and she still doesn't like me.

 

[Tiggeroo]

i want to have great relationships with my kids future spouses. I look forward to big family dinners, taking daughter in laws out to lunch, being much more of a part of their lives then my parents have been. I have no inlaws and distant parents and miss that alot. I'm even jealous of the folks who post about their inlaw horror stories.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

i want to have great relationships with my kids future spouses. I look forward to big family dinners, taking daughter in laws out to lunch, being much more of a part of their lives then my parents have been. I have no inlaws and distant parents and miss that alot. I'm even jealous of the folks who post about their inlaw horror stories.

Will you be my mother in law? lolol

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Will you be my mother in law? lolol

i was just going to say that!! one of my ex boyfriends parents were so rude...but i did have an ex that i dated for over 2 years--his parents treated me like i was related to them

 

[Tiggeroo]

i feel young couples have their work cut out for them. Any support they can get from their families is good. Also close extended family ties help to strengthen marriages. If my dil doesn't like me she won't share any possible grandbabies with me

 

[Marseeya]

My son has been hanging around with a big bunch of rowdy girls. I like them all so far and will continue to like them as long as they are nice and respectful to me. If my son ever has a problem, he can certainly come to me, but I won't get drawn into any dramas, if you know what I mean. I made that clear to one of the girls who was calling our house, and she's been peachy keen every since.

I'm going to try my darnedest to be on friendly terms with my son's girlfriends/future wife. For one thing, I know how it feels to be disliked by a boy's mom (it's happened to me WAY too often) and it's a pretty rotten feeling. For another thing, I have a very wonderful daughter and I'd be pretty sad for her to have to go through that.

I refuse to be one of "those" kinds of mothers.

 

[poohandwendy]

i want to have great relationships with my kids future spouses. I look forward to big family dinners, taking daughter in laws out to lunch,

Me too. I look forward that part of my life, to be honest. having one just entering adulthood, I really like the relationship we are forming. Their ideas, hopes, opinions, perspectives. My kids just get more and more interesting.


I look forward to trying to have a close relationship with my kids and their spouses...but not too close where they feel uncomfortable. I want them to feel that I am a mature support system, not an elderly out of touch authority figure. I am hoping I can find that balance and I hope that we continue to have honest dialog so that they can tell me to back off, when they need to.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I look forward to trying to have a close relationship with my kids and their spouses...but not too close where they feel uncomfortable

Since i had no relationships I worry that i'll be at risk of being too involved. So i'm keeping aware of this but really do look forward to these days. I love my young adult kids and all of their neat friends. I can honestly say I enjoyed that time of their lives more then the baby years.