Do you kow a "true" snob???

[Disney1fan2002]

I mean, a person who will literally turn away from you rather than talk to you, when they don't even know you?

I have this person in my neighborhood. My DS6 is in love with her DD, and it is hard to explain why Julia did not come to his b-day party, because her mom never even rsvp'd.

The family goes to our church, has kids the same as mine, so we are constantly seeing each other around town. The woman will literally turn away from me. Not like I am gushing to run over and talk to her, from the minute I met her, (we moved into the neighborhood over a year ago) I have gotten the "I am better than you" feeling from this woman.

It is truly my 1st experience with a snob in my adult life. Sure, in middle school and HS, I dealt with them all the time, but then we grow up and join the real world.

 

[ReggieB]

There is a woman on my street that's like that too. She just completely blanks me if I wave when I see her, or smile and say hello. I've given up. She either just doesn't like me or she needs glasses. Mind you, she always remembers me to send out charitable donation requests!

 

[kbkids]

Yup, have an old friend just like that. We were friends for years growing up, lost touch, and then ran into her again after we were married and with kids. She talked to me for awhile, so people knew we were friends, and tons of people started coming up to me and asking what was up with her, that she was such a snob. Well, in a nutshell, born and raised without a lot of money, parents are both looney, married into a very well-off family, and . . . don't know why she's like that now. I could see it in the way she treated others around us, but after a couple of years, she started treating me the same way. We literally have to run directly into each other for her to speak now. My mom laughs because she sends her a Christmas card every year, but yet, won't speak to her when she sees her. Mind you - I quit getting cards from her about 3 years ago (but to her credit, I have moved, so maybe she doesn't have the address - though small town, in the phone book, church directory, etc., not hard to find. . . but oh well!

 

[roseprincess]

I mean, a person who will literally turn away from you rather than talk to you, when they don't even know you?

I have this person in my neighborhood. My DS6 is in love with her DD, and it is hard to explain why Julia did not come to his b-day party, because her mom never even rsvp'd.

The family goes to our church, has kids the same as mine, so we are constantly seeing each other around town. The woman will literally turn away from me. Not like I am gushing to run over and talk to her, from the minute I met her, (we moved into the neighborhood over a year ago) I have gotten the "I am better than you" feeling from this woman.

It is truly my 1st experience with a snob in my adult life. Sure, in middle school and HS, I dealt with them all the time, but then we grow up and join the real world.

Sorry you have been having the cold shoulder from an acquaintance from church . Believe me, at my church,there are snobs/cliques. Even at my dkids' school- some of the moms at school and even a couple of teachers I know are like this. Unfortunately, it happens all the time where I live. I know one mom I know her fairly well- for about 8 yrs. I see her at church and school all the time. She most of hte time she doesn't say hi to me. I can tell she feels awkard towards me because of my special needs kids( my kids are mainstreamed in regular classes). I have heard her before say she doesn't care for special needs kids to play with her kids.
And,unfortunately, some families where I live are like that.
I do see so many different cliques at church and at school, it is pathetic, but I just try to learn to shrug it off and move on.
And there are a minority of parents/families that actually talk to my kids and me!

Best wishes to you about finding playmates for your kids and finding parents you can talk to!

Rosemarie

 

[bananiem]

Unfortunately I've known several "true snobs." I think people like that are extremely insecure.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Yep, known some, work with a few right now.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Do you think she could be painfully shy? Just a thought.

 

[nliedel]

She may not be a snob. Just have some serious issues you don't understand and she might not be able to talk about (I don't know the situation but abuse comes to mind. Please do not quote me on that).

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Does she talk to other people in the neighborhood? If so, I would go for the direct approach. Bring cookies to her house and ask her if there is some problem and let her know that you don't have to be buddies, but that you also don't want to be enemies.

 

[Poohgirl]

Do you think she could be painfully shy? Just a thought.

agh, that is the first thing I thought of... I have to admit I am one of these people. I don't look like a "shy" person. people assume I am a snob. I am incredibly shy around people I don't know well. I have a hard time getting to know people. It's strange because I am very, friendly otherwise and can put on a business face easy enough. Give her a break and perhaps aproach her, that may be all it takes... otherwise, if indeed she does have the "better then you" attitude she's not worth your time

 

[VSL]

I'm not shy. I just don't like people

No, seriously though - especially for the children who suffer for this.

 

[diznygirl]

With some people it's easy to tell they are just being uppity. There was a girl I went to college with. Small college. I was introduced to her twice, by two different people, but when we would see each other she would not acknowledge me. Fast forward to when I am dating now DH who was good friends with her BF - she says, "Hi, I don't think we've ever met....." ! Um, yes, actually twice, but I was never important to you until now!

If you are shy, you can still stand there with a smile on your face, and let other people approach you, especially parents of your child's friends. Happens all the time. And it's a great way for someone who is shy to meet people.

 

[Marseeya]

Yes!

I used to have these issues with some of the other mothers at the bus stop. The kids weren't a problem, it was the moms. I'm kind of in the middle of it, but it still makes me mad.

There's one woman I've known for a while. She's got a very big heart, but she's also got a very big mouth and she's real rough around the edges. She'd come to the bus stop looking like a mess (who cares, right??? I mean, geez.). The other woman, let's call Miss Snoot because that's what the other woman calls her. Anyway, Miss Snoot will walk right by without looking our way or saying a word, with her nose literally in the air. She comes to the stop completely well-dressed and made up. Miss Snoot will talk to everyone else, but totally snub me and Miss Mess. I know Miss Snoot doesn't have a problem with me, because anytime I see her outside the bus stop, she's as friendly as can be -- it's just Miss Mess she has a problem with.

Then to make matters worse, another woman moved to the neighborhood, Miss Snot, who makes Miss Snoot look like an angel. The two of them are friends and Miss Snot will literally sneer at us and even go so far as to make noises. After a while of this, Miss Mess would make rude remarks just loud enough for them to hear, which of course made things worse. Miss Snot totally ignores me in public as well, even when Miss Snoot is being nice.

Nowadays, I just drive the kids to school because I think it's ridiculous. I didn't participate in that kind of drama in junior high, and I refuse to do it as an adult.

 

[Disney Doll]

There is a woman on my street that's like that too. She just completely blanks me if I wave when I see her, or smile and say hello. I've given up. She either just doesn't like me or she needs glasses. Mind you, she always remembers me to send out charitable donation requests!

See, I am such a nasty witch though, that if I got a charitable donation request from her, I'd probably send her a note back saying "I am amazed that you know me well enough to send me a request for a donation when you avoid speaking to me in public. But, since XYZ chairty is a worthwhile cause, I'll be the bigger person and donate anyway".

 

[Disney Doll]

Yes!

I used to have these issues with some of the other mothers at the bus stop. The kids weren't a problem, it was the moms. I'm kind of in the middle of it, but it still makes me mad.

There's one woman I've known for a while. She's got a very big heart, but she's also got a very big mouth and she's real rough around the edges. She'd come to the bus stop looking like a mess (who cares, right??? I mean, geez.). The other woman, let's call Miss Snoot because that's what the other woman calls her. Anyway, Miss Snoot will walk right by without looking our way or saying a word, with her nose literally in the air. She comes to the stop completely well-dressed and made up. Miss Snoot will talk to everyone else, but totally snub me and Miss Mess. I know Miss Snoot doesn't have a problem with me, because anytime I see her outside the bus stop, she's as friendly as can be -- it's just Miss Mess she has a problem with.

Then to make matters worse, another woman moved to the neighborhood, Miss Snot, who makes Miss Snoot look like an angel. The two of them are friends and Miss Snot will literally sneer at us and even go so far as to make noises. After a while of this, Miss Mess would make rude remarks just loud enough for them to hear, which of course made things worse. Miss Snot totally ignores me in public as well, even when Miss Snoot is being nice.

Nowadays, I just drive the kids to school because I think it's ridiculous. I didn't participate in that kind of drama in junior high, and I refuse to do it as an adult.

I think I like "Miss Mess". Sounds like my kind of gal!!!!!

Seriously, though, in general, I just move on from folks like that. I have enough to do without worrying who does and doesn't like me, or who does or doesn't think they are better than me. Especially now that I am over the age of 40.

Plus, as a nurse, I know that everyone comes to the hospital eventually, and then they are my very best friends!!!! You really don't want to alienate the person who may be inserting your catheter, now do you????

 

[nliedel]

I just bet there is something else going on here. Either confront her, nicely, or let it go. Keep being kind and sending inviations and just don't be bothered. This is a big world and not everyone is going to like you. No sense in trying to convert those who don't. I still think something more serious is up here but that's just me.

 

[DVCLiz]

Oh, I know a lot of women like that. I've been introduced to several of them "for the first time" about six times now. You can see and hear in their voices, "You aren't going to be important enough to register with me, so I won't expend the energy to be pleasant."

Always fun to wait them out, because often down the road their children and mine have been involved in a sport or other event, and happily, my DD "beat out" a snob's DD for something important at at school recently. Nice to see that the other DD felt my DD was the right choice, but lots more fun to watch the mom squirm!!!!

 

[golfgal]

I know several snobs. I love snob stories because they are usually making fools out of themselves.

We were on a work trip one year and I was talking to the wife of one of the newer sales representatives. Another woman walked into the room and I was just about to say hi to her and wave her over (she was a neighbor of ours) and the other woman looks at me and asks in a very snotty tone "what's her story?". She was making a judgement based on the fact that this woman had on a sweatshirt and jeans (it was the day everyone was arriving to the site). I gave her a questioning look like "what do you mean". She thought this woman was just some hick crashing the party so she asked me who she was. I said, "have you ever looked at the signature on your DH's paychecks?" "That's his wife".

My favorite is the snob wannabees. There was a woman that lived down the street from us and our kids played together on occasion. We would chat while the kids played and the conversation always came around to who was wearing what in school that day. She was always making comments about why so and so can't just buy a Nike outfit for their kids or whatever. If kids didn't have a name brand plastered across their chest, they were slobs in her opinion (one kid in particular had MORE expensive clothing then the Nike stuff she was so proud of but it didn't have a brand visible--mostly Nordstrom clothing). She would go on and on about how much money her dh makes and how well off they are. She told me one day her dh makes $50,000/year and while not a bad income, certainly not of the rich and famous set. I would just roll my eyes every time I was walking home from her house. I really felt like telling her that her DH's income really wasn't something to brag about and that I know PLENTY of people that make a LOT more then him (us included) and she should just stop making a fool of herself, but I didn't.

I have another "friend" that is a wannabee. She tries to come off as a high society gal but when she tells people that she gets all her clothing from JC Penneys because they are so much better then Nordstrom she kind of looses it (not that there is anything wrong with JCP-they just aren't the height of fashion shopping as she thinks). She thinks she is important because she knows someone that knows someone important. Her DH used to work for my DH and since my DH has left that company, she hasn't talked to me once. We were golf partners but not any more. Oh, well.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Plus, as a nurse, I know that everyone comes to the hospital eventually, and then they are my very best friends!!!! You really don't want to alienate the person who may be inserting your catheter, now do you????

Oh, Disney Doll!! You are so evil, I love you!!!

 

[disneymouse]

I know several snobs. I love snob stories because they are usually making fools out of themselves.

i agree! i think it's FUNNY how dead serious they take themselves too