Do you know people like this?

[jenm2878]

My DH's family thinks we're on the brink of poverty because we 1) chose to buy a fixer upper house so we could build equity quickly with a low house payment and 2) we both chose to go to college to become professionals instead of becoming auto workers like the lot of them. (not saying anything against auto workers but it is the ONLY job to his family)

We never correct their assumptions because it's none of their business, but also because we can use the 'we don't have the money' excuse when we don't want to hang out with them.

We don't live in a brand new house or feel the need to change cars every two years, but we love to travel. It's funny to hear his over-extended-keep-up-with-the-jones brother wonder how we could possibly afford to travel. It's all about priorities.

 

[writersblock42]

It gets on my nerves all the time!! I get so annoyed at people who say, "we have no money." or "I wish I had time for that." My FIL is one of those people and he makes plenty of money but he never has the time or the money. We got five day passes to Universal for $50 as part of the operation salute a soldier and we were staying at my FIL's in Florida right after my husband finished his deployment and my FIL said,"I don't have that kind of money or time." We wouldn't have even needed a hotel or anything just the cost for the tickets for him, his wife and maybe my SIL if they decided to bring her. But he didn't even think twice about purchasing $100 curtain rods for each of his windows.

 

[jennifer293]

Glad to know I am not the only one with family members like this...It makes me sad that they have turned out this way..and they do roll the eyes and turn up the nose whenever we say we are going out of town whether it be Disney or camping or anywhere else for that matter.

 

[dizkids]

HAHA so much of this true about so many people. I know some as well. It's is hard to ignore sometimes. I sometimes feel the need to enlighten them by offering a solution such as " dont eat out every night...just 1x per week" but bottom line...people chose to do what they wish with their money. And if they complain we can chose to listen or not...most of the times as friends we hear it

 

[patsal]

OMG, you know my sister, her DH and kids too! Queen of the "we can't do that, we don't have that kind of $$. Oh gotta go answer the door the take out man is here! " or "Sure I'll be in your wedding, lend me the down payment for the dress, oh I don't get paid until next week can you pay for the alterations and the remainder of my balance until I get paid" (yup that does however translate to I'll pay you never!) Nope we can't afford to take the kids to WDW, no we can't let them go with you even though you will pay for them, we'd need to go along with them, we've never been without them before and I think they'd be afraid" Um yup, sorry your not scoring a free vacation so I guess I'll take the boys when they are older! I really have gotten over it and just don't offer to open my wallet anymore. The way I figure it we all have our own priorities fast food and sporting events are theirs.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

It's not money, it's priorities. When someone tells you they can't afford something, what they are really telling you is that it's not a priority to them.

Think about yourself. When something becomes important to you, you figure out a way to afford it (or die trying.) You place a high value on the thing that you want, and a very low value on those things that mean nothing. For example, my older child heads off to college this fall. That is very important to me. Last year I wanted to put a pool in the backyard, and I could afford it. I was busy working on other things and didn't get around to finding a contractor. Now that I have something more important than the pool, I can no longer afford it. It's all relative.

Beyond that, I don't spend a great deal of time worrying about how others afford their lifestyles. In the past 7 years, homes in my neighborhood have quadrupled. Refinancing mortgages seems to be a popular way to afford otherwise extravagant cars and toys. Sooner or later, the items have to be paid for...

YMMV

 

[angwill]

I figure to each their own we all have different priorities. I have a friend so far in debt up to her eyeballs who would never say no to going anywhere with anyone despite a 2nd mortgage and living off credit cards. When I don't want to hang with her and her dysfunctional extended family I learned to tell her I don't have the money and she says she understands. I made the mistake once when I tried telling her the truth in that I didn't want to hang with her extended family and would rather spend the money when we could hang out with just her and her hubby and kids. She got so upset she started crying and hung up on me and didn't bother calling me again for quite a while. Some people just need to hear excuses because they can't handle the truth.

Ang

 

[MrsPete]

I have to agree with Dawn, its all about choices.

I disagree. I think MOST people live this way because they DON'T make choices -- they just do whatever they feel like at the moment.

Those of us who plan . . . we stop and think about how much it's going to cost to eat out, and we think about whether that fits into our overall budget. The people you're describing in this post -- and, oh, don't we all know them! -- fail to add up how much these "spontaneous yesses" cost and how it prevents them from doing/having the "big things" they claim they can't do.

Reminds me of a guy I dated in college -- a guy I really thought I would marry. I remember once he was looking at buying a computer (this was in the 80s when few people had computers -- I had an electric typewrier, and people were always borrowing it). He decided not to buy it because it would've taken every penny he had; he said he wanted to have spending money in his pocket instead of the computer. That led to a discussion of spending/saving after college, and he told me it was a major priority for him to always have spending money -- just fun money he could blow on something trivial, something spontaneous, something that just caught his eye. It was a big "lightbulb" moment for me because I knew that wasn't a priority for me! At that point in my life I was still solidifying my own financial values, but I knew that I didn't want to live in an apartment, drive an old car, and work until the day I die just so I could hit the drive through anytime I please and have a closet full of shoes and all the latest bestsellers.

 

[TENIA66]

My big pet peeve, as well as "If I'm not going to make 20 bucks an hour, then it's just not worth my time." If i made a quarter an hour, i'd do it to work and feed my family and to teach my kids to work to care for themselves, not sit on their butts blame everyone else and expect the world to take care them....

 

[mandysbus]

A girl i work with is like this... she never has any money (now she is a single mom of 2 small children and she's got her bills and everything to pay so I can understand the not having any money line). The other week she was saying that she didnt even have enough to buy diapers, yet she is always shelling out cash for scratch off lottery tickets (I'm talking between $20-$50 at a time, and from what I've seen she loses more than she wins). I guess that would be more of an addiction, huh?

 

[Zoesmama03]

Yep my mom is like that. Its nuts. She will bicker over things under $5 but blows money on dinner out quite often and lunch out alot when out with my grandma. But when it comes to computer stuff games and the cable internet bill its worth it.

I can see how it can be annoying.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I "hate" the co-worker with two large incomes who acts like he can relate to my single income situation.

When your family is making $130,000 a year having both parents work, don't cry poverty to the guy with the stay at home wife.

Yep that is worse than the people with meager incomes or single incomes saying they can't afford something. Bugs me sometimes when people are that way.

I have to say though sometimes our priorities get like that often. Especially when it comes to clothing for us. We will say we can't afford new or even used clothing sometimes for us but we find a way to put clothes on DD even if some come from Goodwill. She outgrows them with in a year or most of the time anyway. So i agree a lot with its just priorities.

 

[MemoryMakers2669]

YES! They don't pay their bills either, but can afford things they have no business buying.

 

[MemoryMakers2669]

Love the name Zoesmama03. Mine is Zoe too, complete with the two dots (how do you get them on there??) She was born 10/03!

 

[DisneyMomJen]

My DSIL and her husband are like this.