Do you know Jesus?

[cardaway]

My granmother passed away on the 24th and her funeral was on the 30th.

The funeral service was at her small church, a very small church that actually sets up in a fire station. Given the small setting I was expecting what would be a very personal and heartwarming service.

While the pastor did try and make it personal quickly it was obvious this was going to be just another long session about how only select individuals get into heaven. And if that wasn't bad enough I had a woman get in my face asking me if "I knew Jesus" and giving me the third degree after I told her that I no longer follow the Christian religion. But of course she will pray for me. Things would have been a lot better had I just lied to her.

When did funerals go bad? What happened to having services that focused on the deceased and left the preaching and witnessing for Sunday?

 

[Imagine Ears]

Might want to have your on... no telling where this one will go..

Sorry about your grandmother.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am sorry that this happened.

As a Christian, I would never belong to a church that was like that.

And, I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother!

 

[Christine]

Fortunately, I have not had this experience. Obviously, it is just the mentality of that "church?" Was your grandmother into that kind of thing?

 

[Maleficent13]

I am sorry for your loss. To respond to your question, I have never had such a thing happen at any funeral I've attended. Even the more "impersonal" funerals I've been to (where the minister did not know the deceased) were very benign. I think it was a problem with that guest, not in general.

 

[mrsltg]

I agree, OP! During my grandmother's funeral I was obviously crying - a woman came up to my mother and said, "Why is she crying? Doesn't she know her grandmother is with Jesus?"

Years later good friends lost their daughter. CLEARLY they were beside themselves. Their hellfire and brimstone preacher started yelling - bordering on screaming - "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!!! Ashleigh is with the Lord Jesus Christ. You should be smiling!" My dh is not a Christian but of course, tolerates any service he is part of. This however, caused him to turn to me and say, "Do they do this in the Catholic church? If they do, we are NOT giving a Catholic funeral for our kids if something happened." My answer was that I had never seen this done anywhere. It was beyond belief!

OP - so sorry for the loss of your grandmother and the garbage that went along with it.

 

[oxfordcircus]

Her funeral service was at her small church, a very small church that actually sets up in a fire station. Given the small setting I was expecting what would be a very personal and heartwarming service.

While the pastor did try and make it personal quickly it was obvious this was going to be just another long session about how only select individuals get into heaven. And if that wasn't bad enough I had a woman get in my face asking me if "I knew Jesus" and giving me the third degree after I told her that I no longer follow the Christian religion. But of course she will pray for me. Things would have been a lot better had I just lied to her.

When did funerals go bad? What happened to having services that focused on the deceased and left the preaching and witnessing for Sunday?

I'm sorry about your grandmother. I certainly can't speak for that church, but some denominations consider funeral services a worship service, especially those that take place in the place of worship. Coupled with the belief that the deceased is now in heaven, the service is more a glorification of God and a celebration of the person's eternal life. Maybe the style of the service was part of your grandmother's wishes for her funeral service.

As for "the lady", was she with the church?

 

[Lanshark]

Sorry for your loss.

I've never been to a funeral service like that. I'm sure it depends on the Church and the minister.

 

[minkydog]

DH's Grandmother's funeral was like that, with not one, not two, but three country preachers earnestly trying to save souls. i'm a Christian myself, but this did not set well with me. GM was a very religious-to-the-point-of self-righteousness woman and she would have loved it.

When my dad died we made sure the preacher understood that while some of us were believers, not all of us were, including my dad. So please dispense with the fire and brimstone. He did a nice job, encouraging and soothing which is what a funeral should be.

Sorry someone took it upon themselves to browbeat you at your GMs funeral You have to wonder if people like that realize what kind of witness for Christ they actually are? If I were a non-Christian, that would really put me off.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Cardaway, I am sitting here thinking that perhaps it is people like the poor misguided woman you describe that may have caused your break with "following the Christian religion".

I just want to say that as a Christian, I believe in, and follow, Christ. Not any human being (nut job) who decides that they have the right to represent Christ, or 'Christianity'.

 

[roseprincess]

OP- sorry for the loss of your grandmother
The preacher at her funeral should have focused more about your grandmother, her life, her faith in Jesus, that she was a good example and faithful servant, Grandma's favorite bible verses,etc.

 

[cardaway]

Fortunately, I have not had this experience. Obviously, it is just the mentality of that "church?" Was your grandmother into that kind of thing?

Not at all, but I doubt she saw this side of them.

 

[minkydog]

Years later good friends lost their daughter. CLEARLY they were beside themselves. Their hellfire and brimstone preacher started yelling - bordering on screaming - "STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING!!! Ashleigh is with the Lord Jesus Christ. You should be smiling!" .

i'm speechless! Of course they should be crying, everyone should have been crying. A child died! Even Jesus wept when he found out his friend Lazurus had died. He cried when he knew that HE was about to die. Sure, I believe that people go to heaven to be with Jesus, but that does not mean we don't legitimately grieve their loss in our lives. Any preacher who says we should rejoice at the death of a loved one is an idiot.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

I'm sorry for your loss.

My DH Aunt passed away and they had a graveside service. The majority of his family says they are LDS although they don't practice it. The entire service was about how we were all doomed if we weren't baptised into the Mormon church and how wonderful that his Aunt had been (after her death an Uncle had her baptised as she was not a member of the church).



While I respect all religion - I'm a life-long Lutheran not planning to convert to LDS any time soon...

 

[cardaway]

As for "the lady", was she with the church?

Yes. I met her as I was making the rounds thanking the church members for their kindness to my grandmother during the last few years. I'm from way out of town and didn't know anybody in the church.

None of my other family members attend this church. My grandmother found the church through a neighbor and they took her when she wanted to attend.

 

[mrsltg]

I'm sorry for your loss.

My DH Aunt passed away and they had a graveside service. The majority of his family says they are LDS although they don't practice it. The entire service was about how we were all doomed if we weren't baptised into the Mormon church and how wonderful that his Aunt had been (after her death an Uncle had her baptised as she was not a member of the church).

I don't think it works that way.... Baptised after death when the adult in question had an established religious belief? If I were your aunt I'd be haunting your uncle!!!

 

[cardaway]

Any preacher who says we should rejoice at the death of a loved one is an idiot.

Doesn't say much for the leader of her church then. That was another thing he stressed. That she finally made it "home". He must have said it at least three times during the service.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

I don't think it works that way.... Baptised after death when the adult in question had an established religious belief? If I were your aunt I'd be haunting your uncle!!!

I don't know - We have a large LDS population here and I've heard of them going back several generations to baptize their ancestors into the church after they have been long dead.

 

[LakeAriel]

Ministers should refrain from insulting the people who come to pay respects at a funeral. Bellowing that the deceased is in Heaven with Jesus because, and only because, they found Jesus, does not sit will well those of different faiths The God I believe in embraces all and if there is a Heaven, all good, decent people, will go there no matter what name they call their God. Or Don't believe at all...

My sympathies on the loss of your Grandmother..

 

[MosMom]

When my grandmother died, it was similar. She died right before Easter and the pastor went into this big thing about Jesus rising from the dead and how my grandma will rise from the dead too. It was really bizarre.

I will have zero religious aspects to my wake. I just want them to throw a party and be done with it. I certainly don't want to make anyone feel guilty or frightened at my burial for cripes sake!