Do you know Jesus?

[cardaway]

I want to thank those that have offered kind words and support. It means a lot.

Oddly enough the best talks I participted in that day was with my mom and my other grandmother (that would be my mom's EX-MIL ) What I thought would have been a very awkward experience was actually a very nice reflection on a family that starting growing up togther some 40 years ago. The fact that they have been split up most of the recent 28 years didn't seem to matter.

 

[basas]

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Although it seems a few folks on here seem to have a problem with Christianity at a Christian funeral.

 

[goofinoff]

My uncle passed away a few years ago. His real name was Pasqual but he went by Pat. Everyone knew him as Pat. The priest was giving the eulogy and tried to make it sound like he knew him but kept calling him Pasqual. It was obvious to all of us that the priest didn't know him at all. I know he was trying but I wish that they would take the time to talk to the family first to find out a little about the person before they try to eulogize them! Know what I mean?

 

[letterdavidman]

My granmother passed away on the 24th and her funeral was on the 30th.

The funeral service was at her small church, a very small church that actually sets up in a fire station. Given the small setting I was expecting what would be a very personal and heartwarming service.

While the pastor did try and make it personal quickly it was obvious this was going to be just another long session about how only select individuals get into heaven. And if that wasn't bad enough I had a woman get in my face asking me if "I knew Jesus" and giving me the third degree after I told her that I no longer follow the Christian religion. But of course she will pray for me. Things would have been a lot better had I just lied to her.

When did funerals go bad? What happened to having services that focused on the deceased and left the preaching and witnessing for Sunday?

First of all, you have my deepest sympathy on the passing of your grandmother. I lost my paternal grandmother back in 1981, and my maternal grandmother (who I was especially close to)--to alzheimer's--in 1995. So I know this must be a very difficult time for you.

Having said that, I feel (and I realize that I may be in the minority) that a funeral service is abolutely NOT the place for a minister to actively proselytize. The best way I've ever seen any funeral oration/sermon handled was at my mom's funeral back in 2002 (at a United Methodist church). Three different ministers spoke, and one of them said words to the effect of "I truly believe that we are all reunited when we get to heaven, and then, once more, will we be able to hug Ginny the way we always used to, and it will be a great day, indeed." Now, talk about a way to "sell", but not flog the concept of a heaven (especially to anyone in the congregation/audience/whatever who had lost a loved one)!

I'm truly sorry that you were subjected to the hard sell on such a traumatic day.

 

[cardaway]

Having said that, I feel (and I realize that I may be in the minority) that a funeral service is abolutely NOT the place for a minister to actively proselytize. The best way I've ever seen any funeral oration/sermon handled was at my mom's funeral back in 2002 (at a United Methodist church). Three different ministers spoke, and one of them said words to the effect of "I truly believe that we are all reunited when we get to heaven, and then, once more, will we be able to hug Ginny the way we always used to, and it will be a great day, indeed." Now, talk about a way to "sell", but not flog the concept of a heaven (especially to anyone in the congregation/audience/whatever who had lost a loved one)!

I think I get why that didn't happen. A person from this church wasn't likley to get up and lie about their beliefs. But I do think it was in very poor taste to spend at least double (no exaggeration) the time proselytizing than actually speaking about my Grandmother.

Pretty disgusting that even more want to go on about how I'm supposedly upset because they mentioned Christ at all at a Christian womans funeral, but I saw first hand that day just how ugly some Christians can be, so their little jabs here pale in comparison.

 

[basas]

but I saw first hand that day just how ugly some Christians can be, so their little jabs here pale in comparison.

And then you say you are not anti-Christian?

 

[sha_lyn]

basas... not wanting to be witnessed to during a family member funreal does not make one anti Christian. However running across post like yours reminds me why I distance myself from people like you.

 

[nuke]

And then you say you are not anti-Christian?

I'm certainly not anti-Christian being one myself but I sure am anti-shove-it-down-my-throat-Christian.

 

[fabshelly]

sha, it's called the Ignore feature, and using it makes the IQ of the board go waaay up!

 

[basas]

basas... not wanting to be witnessed to during a family memeber funreal does not make one anti Christian. .

I never said what happened to the OP was acceptable. In fact, I don't think it was given the occasion. But the little side comment was un-necessary...

However running across post like yours reminds me why I distance myself from people like you.

Your loss. Considering you know so little about me, I'm surprised you think you could draw that conclusion. I have friends with very different beliefs/opinions, don't you?

 

[freckles and boo]

I've been to my share of uncomfortable and (in my opinion) inappropriate funerals. I am sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[Honu]

I'm sorry about your grandmother, Mike. My MIL passed away in February. Her services were held at a Baptist church that she and my SIL attended for years. The person that was leading the hymns handed us leaflets with the lyrics as we walked in. I said thanks, but we are atheists. She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, "Well why did you even bother showing up today?" When my DH told his sister, her response was we should have just pretended because now we've just embarrassed her and "her" mother.

 

[jamimb]

I am very sorry for your loss and very sorry that you were offended but that being said I just had to chime in with my opinion. I am a born again Christian and I as most born again Christians beleive that the one and only way to heaven is to put my faith and trust in Jesus and the sacrifice he made for me on the cross. I have a few close family members that are not Christians and have not put their trust in Jesus or asked forgiveness of their sins so I do beleive that if these family members died today they would go to hell. I have talked to my husband and requested that if I died before him that I would have a funeral service similar to your grandmother's. I beleive no i know I am going to Heaven and I know that our eternal state is really brought to the forfront of our thoughts when someone close to us dies so I would like my funeral to be an opportunity for my loved ones who dont have eternal security in Jesus to have a chance to make that decision. I have made it known that I want salvation through Jesus preached at my funeral. I love my family and I would want them to have the same peace and security that I have. I have heard several occasions of people being saved at funerals. I think that the people at this particular church could have been maybe more tactful but it sounds like what they did would have maybe pleased your grandmother so take comfort in that. I have never been able to understand why preaching Jesus or eternal salvation is so offensive. I have been to funerals where things i dont believe have been preached and not been offended, especially when I knew it was the beliefs of the deceased. I am truly sorry for your loss. When someone I know dies and they are a christian I am very sad formyself and their loved ones but not for them. I believe they are truly "home".

 

[cardaway]

You obviously did not understand a word I posted jamimb.

 

[jamimb]

You obviously did not understand a word I posted jamimb.

Well that sounds a bit mean and uncalled for. If that was not your intention then i am sorry but if it was I said i was sorry for your loss and the way you felt you were treated badly and I meant it but I was simply just stating my opinoin in a very non threatning way. Please explain what I did not understand???? I understand you were put off my some people and I said I was sorry for that!

 

[Disney Doll]

The humans who make up churches are not always perfect. It is why I sometimes have to try very hard to remember God while I am involved with church.

For someone to say "stop crying" at a funeral is ridiculous. You are crying because you are sad. You have lost someone you will miss. I have heard priests say "You grieve the loss of your loved ones for many personal reasons but our faith tells us they are rejoicing now with God"...and that is closer to the truth for me. It's OK to cry...you're sad. But as time heals you, you will realize, if that is your faith, that your faith teaches that the person is happy with God.

For a priest to bring up someone's past indiscretion at their funeral and use that as an example of why that person isn't going to go to heaven is abhorrent and I probaly would have reported that person to their religion's governing body.

I don't really have a problem with paying for a funeral...if they have to open the church, turn on the lights and so forth, someone has to pay the bill. I have never understood how people can think that churches can run on no money.

 

[cardaway]

Well that sounds a bit mean and uncalled for.

If you think what you posted was appropriate after reading my posts, then we have nothing further to talk about.

 

[cardaway]

I don't really have a problem with paying for a funeral...if they have to open the church, turn on the lights and so forth, someone has to pay the bill. I have never understood how people can think that churches can run on no money.

Did I miss where anybody said anything about paying for a funeral?

Anyway, I totally disagree. If the tithes are not already banking the money for these kind of things then I would really start to quesiton where that money is going. Same goes for weddings.

 

[Crankyshank]

I've planned a few funerals and I've never been asked whether or not fire & brimstone and a membership drive is going to be a part of the mass. I was just asked what readings, songs, who was doing what, and about the homily and the eulogy. I didn't realize people opted to proselytize. I have to admit I'm a bit creeped out by people choosing to witness from the grave at their funeral