Do you know anyone with Agoraphobia?

[DisneyAddict_M]

Just curious if anyone has dated, married, is related to or has a close friend with Agoraphobia. My boyfriend has it. We've been together for 9 1/2 months and other than my house, the only places we've gone together are his parents house, the drugstore, the bank and fast food drive-thrus. And that's not even that often. However, his brother has it worse. I don't think dbf's brother has even left his house this year. In fact, I've never even been to dbf's house, because he lives with his brother who can't handle people being there. Anyway, dbf finally saw a psychiatrist about 6 weeks ago and was prescribed Paxil. After 4 weeks it wasn't working, so his dosage was increased. It's been 2 weeks now with the increased dosage and other than a few side effects, there hasn't been much of a change.

This is tough for me since I'm a pretty social person and I love going out. I'm almost never at home. But I love dbf very much...I just want him to get better. He wasn't always like this...just for the past 10 years or so...so I know he CAN be "normal." However, I know it's tough on him too, since (as he says), he just wants me to be happy and it hurts him that he can't do this for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with him...I just want to go out and do stuff once in awhile. Then I feel selfish for thinking that way, since he has a very real problem.

Oh, well. Not sure what kind of response I want. I just mainly wanted to know if there's anyone else out there like me (who is close to someone who has this) or even someone who has it themselves.

Thanks for "listening."

 

[mickeyboat]

Man, that's a tough one.

I wonder if some counseling in addition to the medication, is in order. Maybe there are some therapies (techniques, exercises) which can help him overcome his fear little by little over time.

Good luck to you.

Denae

 

[Christine]

I have never had a close friend or relative with it; however, I do know someone who has it. Mostly refuses to get treated.

I think medication is one part of the solution (I also thought that Zoloft was a better med for this particular disorder but that's just what I've been told). The other part of the solution is that your boyfriend most likely needs to combine this with counseling/therapy. Much of this stuff is biochemical in nature but, based on his brother also having it, it could also be something from his environment that has affected them both this way (yep, I pointing fingers at the parents here!).

Has your boyfriend considered therapy?

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

He blames his parents too.

He was in therapy last summer, but quit because he didn't see immediate results. I told him yesterday that he can't just sit around waiting for magic to happen...he has to get out there and make it happen! I guess that's easy for me to say, since I'm not the one with the panic attacks, but he said he would think about it.

 

[Christine]

Does your boyfriend have a job? Is he able to handle regular employment?

I understand that you love him and I think it is admirable that you are willing to work with him on his anxiety (I have terrible anxiety and I can tell you that it is AWFUL); however, I do wonder how you will be able to make a life with him if he is all but housebound. It is fine when you are just dating but it can be a real problem in a marriage/family situation.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs...

I do not know anyone with this, but I would think therapy would be the way to go. I am not a fan of throwing pills at someone to make them better especially with these kinds of disorders without some decent therapy.....maybe he needs to find a good therapist and with your help, he can work through this. I am sure meds in conjunction with therapy may be the answer for him.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Does your boyfriend have a job? Is he able to handle regular employment?

I understand that you love him and I think it is admirable that you are willing to work with him on his anxiety (I have terrible anxiety and I can tell you that it is AWFUL); however, I do wonder how you will be able to make a life with him if he is all but housebound. It is fine when you are just dating but it can be a real problem in a marriage/family situation.

He's a self-employed web designer working from home. He's unable to have a job outside of the home at the moment. He says that he won't even consider marriage/family until he's better. He's confident that he is going to get better. I've waited this long, so I figure I can wait a little longer. I'll mention therapy to him. I told him that I want to go do something with him SOON...maybe him and I can take my daughter to the playground or something. You know, something small. Baby steps. He seemed receptive to that idea, so we'll see.

Thanks, everyone.

 

[Christine]

He's a self-employed web designer working from home. He's unable to have a job outside of the home at the moment. He says that he won't even consider marriage/family until he's better. He's confident that he is going to get better. I've waited this long, so I figure I can wait a little longer. I'll mention therapy to him. I told him that I want to go do something with him SOON...maybe him and I can take my daughter to the playground or something. You know, something small. Baby steps. He seemed receptive to that idea, so we'll see.

Thanks, everyone.

To be quite honest, this doesn't sound like a true "social" anxiety disorder. People with social anxiety can still do things like go to the playground, go shopping, etc. They have more problems with things like dinner parties, one-on-one personal interactions (like having a meeting with another co-worker) or any kind of interaction with others that they perceive as putting the spotlight on them.

While he may have this too, he sounds like he has agoraphobia pure and simple, most likely stemming from panic attacks that occurred out in public places.

The only reason I am mentioning these differences is because the therapy for social anxiety disorder and panic disorder/agoraphobia can be quite different. Only you really know his true issues--I can't really tell on the little bit that is in this thread, but it just sounds a bit different than social anxiety disorder.

I am somewhat agoraphobic; however, mine relates to eating because I have had panic attacks associated with food. Therefore, I shy away from eating out with people I don't know well--it will almost always set off panic. I do fine at home, near my home, with my family. Weird, huh? I tell you, it only takes one or two panic attacks to make you start feeling like a prisoner.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

When I first met him, he told me that he's agoraphobic. I just assumed they were the same thing. Thanks for letting me know the difference.

 

[Rajah]

My DH has been diagnosed with SAD, and Christine's description fits him perfectly. He, too, wasn't always this way and kept getting worse, though in his case he always had "shyness", it's just it's gotten stronger.

I can say that despite how much I love DH, it is very, very frustrating to not be able to go do things with him. And in hubby's case, he refuses to do counseling (he tried it once) because the one-on-one social interactions or small group situations are the exact type of thing that set him off. :/ So it's a catch 22.

Anyway, point is, I can sympathize.