Do you have your kids call non-family "aunt" and "uncle"

[tasha99]

I grew up calling my dad's best friend "uncle." He is true family and someone I've known and loved for over 40 years. My biological uncles are not my "real" uncles--they're great guys I see a few times a decade on big family trips.

 

[TheBigBadWolf]

I never had DD call anyone Aunt or Uncle, neither friends or family. I never called my family or friends Aunt or Uncle except for one great aunt. I personally don't want kids calling me Aunt. Ugh. Call me by my first name and that will be fine. The only kids who call me Aunt are my DH's nieces and nephews, and they called me that for ten years before we actually got married. I didn't like it but I wasn't sure how to handle it without hurting someone's (their parents, no doubt) feelings.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Even though we are not Hawaiian, we just adhere to the respect due one's elders. Mr. & Mrs. Smith just isn't close enough, and first names don't work and I'm not allowed to use them, anyway (I am 40 and my Aunt Toni is 54. She'd kill me if I called her just Toni.)
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I have a niece who is a year younger than me and I'd kill her if she called me Aunt LOL On the other hand, her kids call me Great Aunt (which also sounds really weird to me since I'm only 32 and to me a Great Aunt is about 80.)

 

[Stacerita]

My DD doesn't call anyone other than my brother and my ex sister in law Aunt and Uncle.

I do have quite a few people that I call aunt and uncle who are not related. They have been friends with my parents since before they even met.

 

[aprilgail2]

I never called anyone other than real aunts and uncles- aunt and uncle. My daughter only calls her real aunts and uncles that- everyone else is just called by their first names- my friends, neighbors, her friends parents etc all get called by their first name.

 

[JimFitz]

My boys call our best friends Aunt Kim and Uncle Mike. They are best friends and part of our family....the kids love it and its really not a big deal. These are also the same people we willed our children too in case anything happened to me or my wife.

 

[ead79]

My best friend is pregnant with her first baby. She and her husband have sibling, but I'm an only child. We've been best friends for 17 years (since middle school), and she is truly like a sister to me. When I have kids, I absolutely plan to have them call her Aunt Melissa, and I think she plans the same for me (though Aunt Elisabeth is a little long so we'll need to come up with an abbreviation ).

One day when her younger brother gets married, then her baby will have an actual "aunt." However, I hope she'll still let her son call me an aunt too. I can't imagine she wouldn't. Somehow referring to each other as just regular friends doesn't convey the closeness of our relationship, so it doesn't seem to me like "Mrs. Elisabeth" is as close as "Aunt Elisabeth."

 

[MichelleinMaine]

As others have said, my kids do call my oldest/best friend "Auntie" (and her husband "Uncle"). They are very important parts of our family; her kids call me Auntie as well. My friend does have a sister who is adament she's their only aunt. I do respect that, though had to chuckle when friends' kids added me to their Facebook as "my aunt". {They are older teens, old enough to say who they want as family, I guess!}


Ironically, my kids don't call my brothers/wives Uncle/Aunt. (This all originated because my brother is Tom and did not want to be called Uncle Tom. It didn't really matter to the other brother, and neither was married at the time, so we just really never did it.)

They do call my BIL Uncle James.

 

[JLTraveling]

I agree with those who say families are not necessarily biological. I have a huge extended family, and I'm very close to some of them. I'm also an only child of very warm, welcoming, inclusive parents.

My mom was "mom" to the various strays (people as well as pets!) I brought home over the years. Several of my good friends' mothers were also "mom" to me. I have tons of aunts and uncles both biological and not-blood-related. I'm bio related to some of them, but not actually their niece (first and second cousins, etc.). I have sisters and brothers all over the world.

I don't have kids or siblings, but I'm definitely "Aunt Lisa" to a bunch of kids, both bio related and not. I can't fathom why anyone would have a problem with it. Kids need a lot of adult love and support, and there's plenty of room in their hearts for all of us!

 

[Miz Diz]

My mil refers to my bil's bff (wierd relationship - they were engaged, living together, broke up and still friends and living together) as "aunt" to my kids and I can't stand it because I don't know her that well and my kids rarely see her or their uncle.

On the other hand, we refer to our bffs as uncle and aunt sometimes. Not all the time. The only family we have living in our area is my dh's step brother, whom we never speak to. Our bff's are more of aunt and uncle to my kids than their real aunts and uncles. They live 30 minutes away and have come to my house to take the kids out when I've been sick, they babysit for us sometimes, every time they go out of town, they bring our kids a present, they go to my son's soccer games, they are also our additional emergency contact for the kids at school, etc.

 

[shortbun]

My oldest friend from childhood(friends since age 8) is my son's Aunt Janet. He knows her just as well as my sister and in some cases she's been more of an aunt to him. I think you can earn 'aunt' status. Anyone my brother or my husband's brother marries would be an aunt, why not a dear, close friend?

 

[Pomlover2586]

My landlords call DH and I Auntie and uncle to their kids....both under 5........we've only known this family a little over a year....

Personally? it creeps me out as we are not particularly close to the family [though the kids are adorable!].....but whatever.....to each their own.......

 

[rparmfamily]

No other Hawaii people have responded huh?

Well in Hawaii any adult is referred to as Uncle and Auntie (like the Ahh sound not like ant). So if a child wants to ask me something, they'll call me Auntie. Even stranger-kids who don't know me LOL. It's cute.

 

[quentina]

My husands family has a huge invent a family. As an outsider, it totally annoys me. When my oldest was born, I warned my MIL that he has X amount of cousins, this is who they are. Your sister's best friends daughters niece is not his cousin....period.

It is something I understand, nor do I get however, I do know many people who do it.

To each their own.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

No. I am extremely close to my brother but I don't even make my kids call him uncle. They just refer to him by his first name, even though they are aware he is their uncle. We grew up referring to our aunts/uncles as "Aunt/Uncle and then their first name" but we felt uncomfortable doing that as adults. He prefers they don't call him uncle and I have no problem with that either. If I don't have my kids call my brothers or sisters aunt or uncle then I definitely don't bestow the title on any of my friends b/c I am really close to my siblings. Just a personal preference thing for me but I have no problem with other people that do it.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

My BFF is Aunt Sarah... Since one aunt isn't the greatest influence, and the other lives across country, they love their Aunt Sarah. I've known Sarah since 5th grade and she only lives an hr away

 

[PaulaSue]

Both Dh and I are onlies so my girls have a lot of honorary aunts and uncles.

 

[Planogirl]

I always called older cousins aunt and uncle. And all adults in Holland were aunts and uncles until I was older.

I see nothing wrong with it personally. It's definitely not meant to insult "real" aunts and uncles.

 

[PollyannaMom]

The other day my sister, in front of her son, referred to one of her friends as "Aunt Jane". I took offense to this as I am the real aunt. This person has only been in my sister's life for a couple of years and (in many circumstances) friends come and go, in my opinion. Why should friends have the title "aunt" or "uncle" along side the biological aunt and uncle? What has been your experience?

Please don't feel slighted! I've seen this a lot, as a compromise between kids calling a well-known adult by his or her first name (which the parents see as not respectful enough) and calling the person Mr. or Mrs. Whatever (which the other adult sees as too formal.)

I had lots of honorary aunts and uncles as a child, and I assure you, it did not diminish my relationship with the real ones!

 

[Mickeyluver37]

I agree with the OP and feel her pain. I honestly can't think of another person (well, besides dh) I know of IRL who feels the same why I do. I just don't see why there needs to be a label. A friend can be closer than an aunt or uncle, and an aunt or uncle don't necessarily have to be close. It's just a term for a biological (or marital) relationship, not how much you like someone. And calling your cousins aunt or uncle just seems silly to me. Where do you draw the line with age on that one?