Do you have problems feeding your child's friends?

[Mom21]

We don't have people here often, maybe once a month or so. But it is amazing to me how little variety these children have in their diets. Everytime I try to find out what each child likes. One boy (our neighbor so he used to be over several times a week--rarely now as he and dd have outgrown each other) only ate chicken nuggets and Kraft mac and cheese--heaven forbid you give him homemade--his mom just made it everyday for him so he would eat . A girl and her brother from church only like a certain kind of pizza. Girl coming today doesn't like anything but mcD's and fast food or Chef Boy R Dee. Now before you say well they are saying that to get what they want, this info usually comes from the parents......WHAT????!!!!! Rarely do I find a child that will drink water.

My dd's drink of choice is water. Today for lunch (hubby has night shift) we had lemon-pepper chicken, fettucine alfredo(Ok not so healthy) and broccoli. My dd is about 10 pounds overweight but we do try to eat healthy. She loves to eat. Do parents really allow children to eat like this all the time?

I don't ever judge anyone about how they raise their children, but honestly that would drive me nuts. I say sit down and eat. Rarely do I have a problem. If she doesn't like something I don't make her eat it, but there are plenty of other things to eat. I can't imagine making my husband and I steak and crab and making her chicken tenders. She eats what we eat. Of course I am sure there are those that will say that is why I have an overweight child....

 

[Chuck S]

It does amaze me sometimes when we go to restaurants and parents order their kids french fries and nothing else. But many parents today either are unwilling to take the time to make a "real meal" or unfortunately, have no idea how to prepare fresh foods. Some friends of mine got married recently, the wife was raised on fast foods and never had to try new foods. She's literally lost in the kitchen, She is trying, though, she has cook books, and I help her in the kitchen with ideas and variations on her recipies to add variety.


It is also possible that some parents simply don't want a food confrontation with their child, it is easier to give them what they want.

 

[MAKmom]

I don't feed other people kids any more for the reasons stated. Send them home at meal times.

If you cut back on dairy you will see the weight drop off your daughter. We had to give it up last year & we all lost this layer of dairy fat. The calcium & vitamins in MILK are all artifical added after pasturzation...unless you are drinking raw milk. We drink OJ with Calcium, tums & leafy green.

You said your interested in eating healthy try Traders Joe if you have one near you.

 

[Beth76]

My son has two friends that will actually ask for something, eat one or two bites and then be done. I'm thinking, "Seriously? You asked for Macaroni and Cheese and now you won't even eat it?" These are 5 year olds we're talking about too.

 

[Mom21]

Chcuk S.--I can't believe someone would just order a child fries. Even when my dd was a toddler that didn't cut it.

MAKmom--not much milk here but we do like our cheese. I wish we had a Trader Joe's. I have heard great things. Maybe they will expand here. Big market in South Florida.

Beth76--My dd is 9 so most of her friends are at least that. the one coming today is 11 .

 

[EthansMom]

I've been around a few people who let their kids be picky about what they eat. The Mom will make one meal for the grown-ups and another for the kids. Now, I understand doing this for allergies or occasionally for Mom and Dad to have a special meal that the kids just won't eat, but I know people who's kids won't eat any meat except chicken and won't touch any kind of sandwich because Mom and Dad have never "encouraged" them to do so.

I think the problem with a lot of parents is that they aren't willing/able to establish that THEY are in control. Just because your child says, "I don't like XXXX, I want YYYY," is no reason to give in. I don't care if they cry, scream, and throw a tantrum. Children need their parents to be in control and to give them age-appropriate options to help establish their independence.


My kids have a few likes and dislikes, but will generally eat most any food you put in front of them. If one of the kids doesn't eat dinner at dinner time, then I wrap it the plate and reheat the food when they are hungry later. It's amazing how many foods that my DS4 didn't want to eat an hour ago are now palatable when he's hungry an hour later!

I don't make any special foods for kids who come to visit. If their Mom or Dad wants to supply their special food items, I'll pop them in the microwave, but otherwise, guests (both adult and children) get served whatever I'm making for everyone else. I think it's inconsiderate of any guest to ask for a special menu unless they have dietary restrictions (diabetes, allergy, vegetarian).

As for your daughter, I wouldn't worry too much about what she's eating as long as she isn't snacking too much on junk. If she's active and eats well, then she's probably just the right size, however big or small she is. If she isn't very active, then you might consider offering her opportunities to be active.

 

[buzzlady]

I have a friend who's DS14 will only eat certain chicken nuggets, certain kind of mac & cheese, french fries and will take the cheese off of the pizza. He does eat fruit and yogurt. The dr. told her to serve him what they are eating. If he doesn't like it, too bad.

 

[Brianne]

Yes, we've had this problem too. One little friend informed me that all she could drink was root beer or Dr. Pepper. I told her water or nothing.

We're not perfect eaters by any stretch of the imagination, largely in part because of my food allergies, plus I'm a picky eater to boot. But my kids drink water all day long---soda is an occasional treat if we go out to eat & honestly, most of the time they'd rather drink lemonade or hot chocolate than a "soda" soda.

We don't keep junk food around the house either since DH & I are both trying to lose weight. I think their friends have figured out that we're not the fun house to hang around at if they're hungry.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have a 12yo DS who is a very picky eater and I wouldn't expect someone to cater to that. He doesn't eat at friends houses often, but being vegetarian is already plenty for them to deal with--if he wants to be picky he can eat whatever he liked and eat a sandwich when he gets home. BTW, my other kids are fine and will eat most anything that is put in front of them, with the normal likes and dislikes, so we can't blame this one on my parenting.

As far as other kids in my house, it depends on their age as to how much catering I will do. If they are young (preschool age and younger), I will try to find something they will eat or give a choice between a few things. For lunch I might ask if they'd like mac/cheese, PB/J or a grilled cheese sandwich. If I know the child and their likes and dislikes I might not give the choice. If a young child were over for dinner (I don't think that's ever happened) I would serve our dinner and if they don't like it I'd make a sandwich, the same thing I allow our kids to do. As to older children, if they don't like what we're having maybe they should go home for dinner. Or I suppose they could make a sandwich if they can't go home for dinner for some reason. I sure wouldn't make them a special dinner.

 

[powellrj]

our problem is the kids in the neighborhood think we are a free store. They come over asking for soda, ice cream, snacks and even to stay for dinner. I don't have a problem with feeding kids we invite over, but I don't feel its my job to feed the neighborhood. I use to keep the house stocked with things the kids could share with their friends, but it just really got out of hand.

The day I stopped feeding the neighborhood was the day that our neighbor (whose DD ate more meals at our house then her own and because she never cooked my kids had never eaten there) came outside and gave her DD and ice cream bar and told DS if he wanted something he could go home and get it. That was the day I shut down the open kitchen. I still hear the kids asking my kids for food and drinks and I know they still sneak sodas and ice cream bars out, but its not like it was before.

If I invite a child over, they are welcome to any and all food we have in the house. This only applies to kids that just show up.

 

[DVC Sadie]

our problem is the kids in the neighborhood think we are a free store. They come over asking for soda, ice cream, snacks and even to stay for dinner. I don't have a problem with feeding kids we invite over, but I don't feel its my job to feed the neighborhood. I use to keep the house stocked with things the kids could share with their friends, but it just really got out of hand.

The day I stopped feeding the neighborhood was the day that our neighbor (whose DD ate more meals at our house then her own and because she never cooked my kids had never eaten there) came outside and gave her DD and ice cream bar and told DS if he wanted something he could go home and get it. That was the day I shut down the open kitchen. I still hear the kids asking my kids for food and drinks and I know they still sneak sodas and ice cream bars out, but its not like it was before.

If I invite a child over, they are welcome to any and all food we have in the house. This only applies to kids that just show up.

The same thing happened to us when we were young and in a newly established neighborhood. Our son was 6 when we moved and our house was the food house. Live and learn ,huh? When I overheard the mother tell my son to go inside and get a ice cream sandwich I just rolled my eyes until they just about popped out. Needless to say our "free pantry and freezer" closed that summer. Of course anyone who was invited was never a problem.

 

[GoofyforDisney3]

My DD either eats what I fix for lunch/dinner or she basically does not eat. I am not a short order cook and my kitchen is not a restaurant. I firmly believe that if a child is hungry they will eat what they are given. Now, that doesn't mean she never gets to decide what we are going to eat - and if it is chicken nuggets she will get them sometimes; but she will also ask for broccoli and lima beans too. If you expose children to different foods from the very beginning they will definetly eat better as teenagers and adults. My neice and nephew were and still are good eaters. They would rather eat good food (most of the time) instead of junk food because my sister did not give into the demands of only eating certain food when they were 3/4/5 years old like so many other parents do.

 

[ZachnElli]

I don't cater to my kids, they eat what I fix. Tonight I'm making both a veggie salad and a fruit salad (along with a pork roast and potatoes). There is no dessert. I do have to cater to my nephew who lives down the street. I have to have chicken nuggets on hand for him to eat. He asks to eat here all the time, then asks what we are having, he usually doesn't like it (or the sound of it) and says he'll stay but just eat nuggets. Lately, I've been telling him to go home and eat then. We just moved down the street from them a month ago, so I'm still working the kinks out on this! I am finding it easier to just tell kids to go home and eat (relatives or friends!)

 

[Fire14]

One of my fondest memories was eating at my best friends house where most things were made from scratch, I always told her mother/her why I liked eating at her house. I ate what was served I never made special requests unless it was best friend and I fending for ourselves at lunch time.

 

[lbgraves]

DS7 eats chicken nuggets or tenders, beef hotdogs, or pizza. DD5 eats a greater variety of food. She keeps bugging me to make crab legs again. The doctor checks him out & says that he is fine. He wont eat bread or cheese but likes yogurt. Their snacks are healthier too & they only get sprite occassionally...no cola or caffiene.

It really isn't a big deal to pop something easy like nuggets in the microwave for him when we are eating something else. I don't plan on him eating it. He asked to try pizza late last year & loved it so at least he is branching out...if slowly. I was a picky eater growing up...though I ate more than he does now. I was force fed & remember gagging on the food. I refuse to make what he eats an issue. It's not worth it IMO.

 

[MAKmom]

DD9 & DD11 does not like everything I cook. Salmon comes to mind but DH & I love it. Those nights they will eat the around that meal or they have a bowl of Weetabix. They can make that themselves.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

our problem is the kids in the neighborhood think we are a free store. They come over asking for soda, ice cream, snacks and even to stay for dinner. I don't have a problem with feeding kids we invite over, but I don't feel its my job to feed the neighborhood. I use to keep the house stocked with things the kids could share with their friends, but it just really got out of hand.

I buy freezer pops that are free for the taking for the neighbor kids since they are so cheap. One time I did find the kids helping themselves to bottled water and Gatorade, but that was only once and they heard from me...These are middle schoolers helping themselves from the fridge/freezer in the garage, which I really need to put a lock on, not to mention that we need to start putting the beer somewhere else. Don't want to have it too tempting at their age.

 

[Hannathy]

First I refuse to have battles or make an issue over food. There are things I don't like and no one forces me to eat them so I firmly do not believe in forcing kids to eat food. If they do not like something they do not have to eat it and I will make something different if I know they don't like it, or they can have a sandwich or microwave a hot dog etc. Second kids are different even in the same environment. My DD eats everything and I mean everything she used to be invited to dinner at neighbors house to be used as an example " see she likes beets, brussel sprouts" etc. My son is very picky doesn't like to try new things, only eats a few vegetables, fruits. Same parents, same cooking, they are just different. He is as healthy as his sister, smart and happy so why fight over food. Kids also change. My sister was very picky , now as an adult she is the most adventerous eater of the bunch. Back to the question if I know a child doesn't like something I will try to accomodate within reason. (one friend wouldn't eat or drink anything green when she was little- we love to tease her now because of course she out grew it)

WE had the same problem with snacks-so I started buying big boxes of ice pops or cheap popsicles and that was what they were allowed to give out to anyone,and instructed them that the push-ups or ice cream treats were for them to eat when alone or with the few kids who also shared. One family had three kids and would always be looking for snacks and one day my son was over playing outside and it was hot and asked for water and she told him to
go home for it. Thats when if those kids were in the yard everyone only got
ice pops.

For the poster with the daughter who is a bit over weight my DD was to and the Dr. talked to us and asked about the level of activity which was a lot-(2 dancing classes, softball, soccer) and eating habits worried about soda mostly but my DD didn't drink much and when I said much the Dr. said like 3 cans a day and I said not even that in a week. She said if she hasn't started her period, is active, and doesn't overload on junk please don't make a big deal out of a bit of weight with girls because it is to easy for them to slip into eating disorders and usually with puberty they grow up in height and all that baby fat is absorbed.

 

[disykat]

At our home - They eat what we're having, or they don't eat.

That said, I've been known to let my kids choose to have only french fries at a restaurant on occasion -especially fast food. I'm not about to have a battle at a restaurant over their choices, when I know they eat healthy the rest of the time. Nothing cracks me up more than listening to parents yell at their kids in restaurants to "eat their chicken nuggets and drink their soda".

If I'm going to have a food battle, it's going to be over something nutritious. If it's a time we're eating out a lot, like vacation, then we have the discussions elsewhere about what will be appropriate choices - in our family, the vacation rule is one soda and one fried food choice per day.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

This is one of DH's pet peeves - he loves to cook and is an adventurous eater/chef, but his DS' kids are picky to the max! Not just only eat chicken nuggets, but only eat one brand of chicken nuggets. Not just only eat hot dogs, but only eat two brands of hot dogs, and only if they are cooked "just right". I could go on...

We don't have kids yet (soon, hopefully! ), but DH has already said that he's not going to let our kids become picky eaters like his nephews. He can't stand extended family meals when the boys start going off about not having the right kind of apple sauce, or having the hotdog cut wrong, and he just can't resist making some comment about it to his DSis, which doesn't help the family harmony so much...