Do you have a problem with your child being average?

[torinsmom]

My son just brought home his second report card of his high school career and his grades were 83(Honors English), 83(French), 96(PE/Health), and 96(Academic Strategies). The last two were basically a given. As long as you follow directions, you will do well in PE and Academic Strategies is a study hall for students with IEPs. His GPA is 3.44 right now.

Anyway, I am trying to be fine with high C's, because I know my DS is doing his best. His report card had comments like "hard worker!" and "excellent student" typed in, which makes me feel good. On the other hand, some people in my life punish their children if they get C's, or even low B's. DS is just a different kind of kid; he is very smart, but it seems to be in a way that doesn't show on academic work. I encourage him, and he does study and do his homework every night.

So, if you have an average child, are you okay with that, or do you push them to do better?

Marsha

 

[CathrynRose]

Completely A-Okay with it.

 

[Bluestars]

I want my kids to do the best they can. If it meant that the best is a C, after studying and doing everything possible to bring the grade up, then I can accept that. Very few people excel at everything.

Out of my three kids, two of them were able to stay on the honor roll with very little studying. But my oldest son has an attention problem. He would have to go over the material over and over. We made flash cards and he had to try so much harder than his siblings just to keep his grades above a C. So if a C was the best he could do, then I was fine with it.

A person can get average grades in school and still be successful in life.

ETA - My oldest son (with the attention problem) is an amazing artist. He is truly talented.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I would be jumping for joy if my DS (also expecting his 2nd report card in HS) had a report card like your son's. My DS is also in honors classes (biology, geometry, English). I don't mind if a C is the best he can do. What gets me is that the two Ds and an F (from his first report card) are accompanied by comments - Homework not done or something similar.

I don't care about the grades -- I just want him to do the best he can, and not turning in homework or studying for tests (he says he doesn't need help studying) is not excusable in my book.

First semester we pulled him from football to make a point. He knows now we mean business...we'd never done anything like that before.

 

[lisadr]

You know I was just talking about this with a friend. I was saying that Average doesn't seem to be good enough, and I noticed a lot of parents trying to create little savants or geniuses. They have them playing piano at 3 and taking so many "enrichment" classes the kids are miserable. I've seen 4 yo being drug to classes crying they didn't want to go. Why so that?

I am sure Einstein and Bachs' moms didn't take them to any "enrichment" classes. If your kid likes something -fine-sign 'em up. But there is a big difference between enrichment and engorgement.

JHMO

 

[Cool-Beans]

I'm one of those people who believe that kids will rise or sink to whatever level you set for them. I demand their best and accept no excuses.

They're all above average. The first was WAY above, the next two are above and the last one is just above. But I got the last one late, lol. She may do better as she gets through high school.

 

[Kathi OD]

I have no problem with average, as long as average is their best. And by best I don't mean that they had to stay up until midnight every night studying to do better than average.

 

[EpcotBeauty]

We don't accept mediocrity in this house. We raise the bar and expect our kids to meet it.

If our children are struggling, we buckle down and go to after school tutoring if necessary.

 

[The Mayor]

If I didn't have average kids then I wouldn't have any kids at all

 

[Ember]

I wish more parents would accept that average is just fine. The constant pressure to be above average only leads to problems. In schools trying to meet parental demands it leads to grade inflation, in children it can cause stress and anxiety, and in parents I see disappointment when kids can meet the high standards set for them.

It is part of life that you simply can not excel in everything. A great student might not have the best social skills, an amazing athlete might not be the best at math, and a creative and artistic child may not be the greatest at essay writing. I think both parents and educators should encourage students to succeed, push them to do their best and try their hardest, and then celebrate with them even when the results of their efforts aren't perfect scores. I also encourage personal responsibility whenever possible. You can't work hard for someone else, to meet their expectations, you need to know you're doing it for your own benefit.

My mum would celebrate when my report card came home. She knew I tried hard and that was what counted, not the numbers. As I grew up I set higher goals for myself and was determined to graduate high school with honors. My mum didn't care one bit, I was the one the wanted it and worked for it. When I got to university, I had the same goal but fell short with a GPA of 3.48 - honors was 3.5. I may not have gotten honors, but I am content to know that I truly did give it my all while holding down an almost full time job. I am proud of my accomplishments, even if I am only average.

 

[Tink888]

I think it's something all parents have to come to terms with eventually. We all start out wanting our kids to be the best, but the fact is that most people are average.

I like to see good grades but if one of my kids doesn't do so well and I know they really tried their best, then I'm okay with that.

Parents really run a fine line between pushing/expecting their kids to be the best and accepting their limitations. If you push too hard, you can end up with a kid who never feels they're good enough and doesn't try because they're afraid to fail.

I want my kids to do their very best and challenge themselves but I also want them to be confident and feel good about themselves too. I think you need all those things to succeed in life.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

As far as grades go, my kids get average. As far as character, I'd have to put my kids in the above average group. They are really good people.

 

[HunnyPots]

My son just brought home his second report card of his high school career and his grades were 83(Honors English), 83(French), 96(PE/Health), and 96(Academic Strategies). The last two were basically a given. As long as you follow directions, you will do well in PE and Academic Strategies is a study hall for students with IEPs. His GPA is 3.44 right now.

Anyway, I am trying to be fine with high C's, because I know my DS is doing his best. His report card had comments like "hard worker!" and "excellent student" typed in, which makes me feel good. On the other hand, some people in my life punish their children if they get C's, or even low B's. DS is just a different kind of kid; he is very smart, but it seems to be in a way that doesn't show on academic work. I encourage him, and he does study and do his homework every night.

So, if you have an average child, are you okay with that, or do you push them to do better?

Marsha

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

 

[CinderellyCinderelly]

I struggled with certain subjects and excelled at others, so in the end I had an average GPA. For instance, I had straight A's for 4 years in my foreign language classes, but almost always had D's in Math class because I just never could understand what was going on. My parents always encourage me to do my best and I would get rewarded when I improved. However, my dad always said he valued the comments most of all because it shows your character. If I had a D in math but my teacher commented on how hard I work or how much effort I put into it, that says a lot.

 

[shortbun]

Since when is 83 a C? In our system at least, a C is 70-79. Honestly, your son's grades sound pretty darn good to me! A 3.44 GPA? I'd have no problem with that at all!

My take on it is this: when I am performing at the very best of my abilities and acheiving my highest potential, I'll expect the same from my kids. Until then, they get to be human too...

A C in Honors classes is good but I might consider looking into dropping honors programs IF college entrance might be a problem with those grades. I'd be talking to the experts regarding college and gradepoint. Obviously, your child's school has very high standards because they are using the old grading scale. That in itself should help with college entrance as they look for those differences to begin with. I'd also consider a tutor to bring up the academic grades as they are the ones pulling down the accum. I think there's a fine line between being satisfied with 'average' and realizing that a C in Honors courses might be damaging in my child's future academic career. What ARE your son's future goals and how will his grades affect them? Punishment would not enter my mind in your situation, just more help and evaluation.

 

[Christine]

Here's my story and it's not a pretty one so far.

My daughter is COMPLETELY average. As a parent and fellow human being, I am fine with that. However, as a parent applying for college, it is turning into a nightmare.

As-brief-as-I-can-history: DD has mild, inattentive ADD. During elementary school, she was a solid B student. During one semester of public middle school, she was a straight A student! Moved her to parochial school and she was a solid B student.

High school comes. She wants to go to public school again. I let her. She is not put in the lowest track of courses, but the next one up (don't know what they call that in 9th grade--it is not honors or AP). She does fine--about a 3.0 average. Many things happen at this school, she wants out, we select a parochial high school. They review her records and due to her past grades and previous standardized testing they feel she should be in their College Prep track (the have general, college prep, honors, and AP). I'm happy with this decision as we all want our kids in the most challenging courses they can be in. Many of her friends from middle school were put in the general track (as their grades were not as good as hers were). So, she starts in this and she has STRUGGLED almost from day one. We've been through tutors and one failure in Chemistry. The school would not hear of moving her back into "general". They said it would look bad and that she was "capable."

So here we are in senior year with a child who has worked hard but has a semester average of 2.8 and a cumulative average of 2.16 (guess which average is being reported to colleges???).

Already, she has been turned down by her "safe" school. We have been waiting to hear from the 6 other colleges we applied to but I'm sure she will not get in.

I am beyond pissed. Not at my daughter too much although she does play a part.

I'm mad at the school system for thinking that this pushing is the only way and I'm mad at the colleges who have no place for an average student anymore (at least not in Virginia).

What really gets me is that her friends in this same school, who are on the general track are getting 3.0 averages, they have NO AP courses as my DD does, and they are getting into the schools that have rejected her. The school has lied to me and said that the colleges will consider the rigor of her classes. In these cases they haven't. They went right past that and looked at the GPA at the bottom of the page.

My cousin's son had this same issue. He was in a Catholic school that had a much more rigorous curriculum than my DD's. He struggled and struggled and was a C student. He could not get into a college so went to community college. While he only got C's in his high school, apparently the curriculum really prepared him well for college and he has aced his way through community college, is now at a 4-year college, and pursuing an engineering degree.

The whole thing has really made me do a lot of thinking and it seems so unfair because I really *thought* they were to consider the rigor of the courses. In our case and my cousin's this wasn't the case.

My son is starting high school next year, he is very bright, but I think I will insist on general courses.

 

[mrsdon]

My oldest DS is on the low end of average.
It is hard to accept, but I know its the very best he can do.
We've had many IQ tests and neuro tests and there is nothing more that can be done
He is 26 now and happy.
I am proud of him because he has a wonderful personality and great morals.

 

[barkley]

Here's my story and it's not a pretty one so far.

My daughter is COMPLETELY average. As a parent and fellow human being, I am fine with that. However, as a parent applying for college, it is turning into a nightmare.

As-brief-as-I-can-history: DD has mild, inattentive ADD. During elementary school, she was a solid B student. During one semester of public middle school, she was a straight A student! Moved her to parochial school and she was a solid B student.

High school comes. She wants to go to public school again. I let her. She is not put in the lowest track of courses, but the next one up (don't know what they call that in 9th grade--it is not honors or AP). She does fine--about a 3.0 average. Many things happen at this school, she wants out, we select a parochial high school. They review her records and due to her past grades and previous standardized testing they feel she should be in their College Prep track (the have general, college prep, honors, and AP). I'm happy with this decision as we all want our kids in the most challenging courses they can be in. Many of her friends from middle school were put in the general track (as their grades were not as good as hers were). So, she starts in this and she has STRUGGLED almost from day one. We've been through tutors and one failure in Chemistry. The school would not hear of moving her back into "general". They said it would look bad and that she was "capable."

So here we are in senior year with a child who has worked hard but has a semester average of 2.8 and a cumulative average of 2.16 (guess which average is being reported to colleges???).

Already, she has been turned down by her "safe" school. We have been waiting to hear from the 6 other colleges we applied to but I'm sure she will not get in.

I am beyond pissed. Not at my daughter too much although she does play a part.

I'm mad at the school system for thinking that this pushing is the only way and I'm mad at the colleges who have no place for an average student anymore (at least not in Virginia).

What really gets me is that her friends in this same school, who are on the general track are getting 3.0 averages, they have NO AP courses as my DD does, and they are getting into the schools that have rejected her. The school has lied to me and said that the colleges will consider the rigor of her classes. In these cases they haven't. They went right past that and looked at the GPA at the bottom of the page.

My cousin's son had this same issue. He was in a Catholic school that had a much more rigorous curriculum than my DD's. He struggled and struggled and was a C student. He could not get into a college so went to community college. While he only got C's in his high school, apparently the curriculum really prepared him well for college and he has aced his way through community college, is now at a 4-year college, and pursuing an engineering degree.

The whole thing has really made me do a lot of thinking and it seems so unfair because I really *thought* they were to consider the rigor of the courses. In our case and my cousin's this wasn't the case.

My son is starting high school next year, he is very bright, but I think I will insist on general courses.

this was one of the deciding factors in agreeing to let our dd leave private school next year and do high school at the local public.

we have a friend whose dd graduated with great grades from a very rigorous private school in california only to see her public school peers (which had much less rigerous coursework) with almost identical s.a.t. scores/extracurriculars/reccommendations BUT higher gpa's get accepted into a number of colleges she was denied admission to. there was'nt a huge difference in the g.p.a's but it just came down to the hard numbers-the colleges did'nt give any consideration to what high school she had attended.

we looked at the private school curriculum/expectations for identical courses the public school offers and in our opinion it would be overtaxing for even the brightest student (we think it's because it's got a large population of boarding students who are stuck there with nothing to do but study nights and weekends) so since it's going to come down to strictly gpa anyway we figure we might as well give her a competative edge and let her take those courses where we know her level of performance will garner a higher grade.

 

[Pembo]

No problem at all. The world needs all kinds of people and grades do not determine the person.


Do you know if your doctor graduated 1st or last in his class? Does it matter?

 

[torinsmom]

As far as grades go, my kids get average. As far as character, I'd have to put my kids in the above average group. They are really good people.

This is definitely how I feel as well. DS has GREAT character and is such a polite, kind, epathetic person. Of course, I sometimes see the grumpy sarcastic teenager , but all his teachers have always raved about his behavior.

Marsha