Do you hate your ex girl/boyfriend? if so, why?

[Pakey]

No. I don't want to socialize with my ex-husband but I don't hate him. And one of my best friends is my current husband's ex-wife (I didn't know her before I married my husband but through 25 years of joint parenting, we became very close.)

 

[cm8]

No way, I think you learn something from every relationship. Even the jerks. I'm not friends with any of them but I don't hate or wish them anything but happiness. I would hope they would think the same of me.

I have a friend who's husband cheated on her a TON with different women and she found out and divorced him. That was years ago and she still harbors resentment. I don't really get it though (I've been cheated on by quite a few boyfriend's and a fiance that I was living with) as she just won't let it go (or go to therapy). He also was a horrible boyfriend and was in denial about him cheating on her before the marriage so I think a lot of the resentment is also towards herself at making the choices she did.

 

[sunnyday123]

No. I don't want to socialize with my ex-husband but I don't hate him. And one of my best friends is my current husband's ex-wife (I didn't know her before I married my husband but through 25 years of joint parenting, we became very close.)

Pakey, I think that's awesome! ( the ex-wife friend thing-I'm too lazy to bold it!)

And no, I don't hate my ex. Divorce fixed all of our problems, and although it's hard to explain, there is no feeling whatsoever, at all. We get along well enough, I "hate" some of the decisions he's made concering our dd, but I just don't care enough to hate him.

 

[C.Ann]

No.. I can't really think of anyone I "hate" - not even my ex.. Every experience in life is a learning one - and from that, you move on..

 

[bumbershoot]

He also was a horrible boyfriend and was in denial about him cheating on her before the marriage so I think a lot of the resentment is also towards herself at making the choices she did.

From my experience, I would wager that you are right on that.

One of my worse, soul-searching, breakups was from a guy I barely liked. I had ended a short relationship with a guy that was entirely unsuited to me, and this guy swooped in b/c he'd wanted to date me. I barely liked him, but felt that he was perfect for me, so why not? He'd recently made two changes in his personal life that made me happy, so I went ahead. And slowly we realized that we weren't suited either, but I was so "into" having a relationship with someone with such similar beliefs on how to life a natural life that I refused to break it off. He finally did, and I was devastated. Not because of the loss of HIM, but because I had ignored my true self, yet again, in order to date him. We were in grad school together and everyone (we were just one quarter apart in our schooling and had many of the same friends) thought I was crying all the time because of him; no one believed me when I told them the truth...it just didn't make sense to them.

So if your friend ever figures that out about herself, she is lucky that she has you to believe her!

I don't speak to them, don't interact with them, and we don't even have friends or even friends of friends of friends in common.

Then again, I've been with my husband for 15 years now, so it makes sense.


I guess if I ran into any one of them, it would be neat to see where they are in life, and I would hope they are happy. So, I guess I don't hate them. (I never really thought about it, go figure!)

I think that's about where I am. Though it's only been 10 years since DH has been in my life (I met him almost immediately after kicking the last guy to the curb for the very last time), not 15...

I used to hate a few of them...they really did some mean things. Then again, I always did sort of think that those things were happening in my life because of the decisions I had made. And once I sort of paid back the universe, better things started to happen.

There's actually an ex that I would love to see again. He and I were friends before we dated, good friends, and the saddest part of the end of our dating time was that he didn't want to see me again, even as friends. He was a terrific friend!

 

[krcit]

No I don't really hate anyone. I was devastated by an old boyfriend and I guess I sort of hated him at the time he dumped me but that was a long time ago. I actually learned a lot from him about how not to allow myself to be treated so I don't regret anything. Plus, he found me on Facebook and told me that dumping me was the biggest mistake he ever made and he still thinks about me 20 years later. Of course I'm sure it is BS but it made me feel good to hear

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Yup. Because he broke up with me the day I informed him I was pregnant with his baby and hasn't had anything to do with my son at all. I find it hard to forgive him for abandoning his own flesh and blood. Maybe someday I'll be the bigger person...but probably not

 

[scrapquitler]

Not me. I've been married for a long time (20 years) and the ex-es were ages and ages ago...that train left the station long ago. Why dwell on the past? there's no point.

 

[kellyg403]

No, I hate the choices and sometime his attitude when it comes to the kids but overall I do not 'hate' him or anyone else.

There were times I could have said 'yes' but after looking at it for awhile I was hating myself more for being a person who was always looking to fix things and had no boundaries. Now that I do, I feel better and most of the hate I felt in the beginning is not there. I just shake my head and realize that pretty much his choices are his, and have no reflection on me.

Kelly