Do you give a wedding gift to people who owe you money?

[teacups]

That is a hard one... depends on how I feel about them I guess. I'd be tempted to write a very nice note and say as a wedding gift they do not have to pay it back, since they more than likely wont anyway. Seems mean and tacky though... I dont know what I'd do!

 

[safetymom]

I don't want to be nasty in a note on their wedding day.

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

I don't want to be nasty in a note on their wedding day.

Good. I don't think a wedding card is the place to bring it up

 

[CathrynRose]

OK ... I'd be tempted to write the following in the card:

"Congratulations on your special day! Since you were able to fork all this money over for the wedding and not pay me one red cent of the $$$ amount that you owe me, you can take 10% off of what you owe me and pay me back with your wedding gift money. The 10% off of what you owe me is my wedding gift to you. BTW -- I will be there after the wedding to watch you count the money and hand me over the cash you owe me! Have a great life!"

 

[lovetoscrap]

I've got it!!!


Get a photo frame from the Dollar Store and put in a photo of your family! I hear that is the HOT wedding gift this last year or so. . .

 

[MrsPete]

These folks owe you money.
It's a significant amount.
They've owed it to you for a while.
They're 100% aware that they owe it to you.
You've asked them for it repeatedly.

And you're still going to their wedding? I'm not sure I'd consider these folks friends.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't want to be nasty in a note on their wedding day.

No, but I wouldn't want to be a doormat either. IF ANYTHING, I'd give just a card. You're not the rude party here.

 

[rapriebe]

I would probably give them a gift but definitely do not go overboard. I would try to find something on sale and I would probably not go over $25. Just a small token gift.

 

[Daxx]

You could always look around and see what you could regift!!!!

Swear to you that I have a zillion vases still in original boxes that I will never use. I have never regifted one but am so tempted to every time I go to a wedding shower. I'm just afraid that the bride will try to return it somewhere and the store will say "Lenox hasn't made that vase in 20 years!"

 

[mumom95]

OK ... I'd be tempted to write the following in the card:

"Congratulations on your special day! Since you were able to fork all this money over for the wedding and not pay me one red cent of the $$$ amount that you owe me, you can take 10% off of what you owe me and pay me back with your wedding gift money. The 10% off of what you owe me is my wedding gift to you. BTW -- I will be there after the wedding to watch you count the money and hand me over the cash you owe me! Have a great life!"

This is what I would do too

 

[hucifer]

I would forgive the amount that you are willing to spend on a gift and tell them that you expect the balance.

Yep, I agree.

If you don't want to write anything about the loan obligation on the wedding card, just sign it with best wishes. Later you can tell them the new balance, minus their "wedding gift."

That is how I would personally handle it.

Are these people friends or family? I think that would depend how tactful I was about it.

 

[Kimmielee]

I agree with some of the other posters... card only... don't mention it in the card and then discuss it later with the discounted balance. I'm assuming these are really good friends or they are family for you to be attending the wedding at all!

 

[Pumbaa_]

You have up to a year to give a wedding gift. You could wait until after the wedding and either give them a gift or forgive part of the loan as the gift. Just handle it after the wedding day

 

[Aisling]

OK ... I'd be tempted to write the following in the card:

"Congratulations on your special day! Since you were able to fork all this money over for the wedding and not pay me one red cent of the $$$ amount that you owe me, you can take 10% off of what you owe me and pay me back with your wedding gift money. The 10% off of what you owe me is my wedding gift to you. BTW -- I will be there after the wedding to watch you count the money and hand me over the cash you owe me! Have a great life!"

I'd never write that, but it's hilarious!!

 

[Tuffcookie]

I vote for a card only with a written note that you forgive their debt. You mentioned that it has been owed for a long time. (Was it a relative or friend?) Anyway, if they really wanted to pay you back they would have found a way so I can't see them using wedding gift money to pay you back.
OP, the loan may have been more than you were going to spend on a wedding gift but by forgiving them their debt, in lieu purchasing a wedding gift, you are being the bigger person.
to you!

TC

 

[Papa Deuce]

I vote for a card only with a written note that you forgive their debt. You mentioned that it has been owed for a long time. (Was it a relative or friend?) Anyway, if they really wanted to pay you back they would have found a way so I can't see them using wedding gift money to pay you back.
OP, the loan may have been more than you were going to spend on a wedding gift but by forgiving them their debt, in lieu purchasing a wedding gift, you are being the bigger person.
to you!

TC

That's all well and good, but maybe the OP NEEDS to get their money back.... OTOH, "If" I loan money that exceeds $100, I ALWAYS get a signed IOU.... with terms.... only exceptions are my mom and my brother.

There is an old saying - "don't loan what you are afraid you won't get back".....

A better saying is "Don't Loan". Or, "Neither a lender or borrower be".

 

[disneyfreakk]

If you are not going to forgive the full amount of the loan, then yes, you need to give a wedding gift. Sorry, but its just TACKY to do otherwise. A loan is a loan, a gift is a gift.

You obviously thought enough of these people to loan them a large sum of money, so why would you even consider not giving them a congratulatory gift for their marriage?

 

[safetymom]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and ideas.

I was the better person when I loaned them the money.

 

[LisaB]

I think it is just rude not to give a gift whether that person owes you money or not. What is this was a loan to only one of the parties before the couple met then should you also not give a gift?????

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I would give a gift. Especially if the loan was only to one person of the couple.

To me it would be in poor taste to bring the loan up in any way in the card.

Whenever I loan money I always assume I will NEVER see it again. That way I will not be disappointed.