Do you get any input about what musical instrument you child will play in school?

[luvmy3]

Thanks for all the replies, its interesting to see how differently schools work. I have no doubts that our music teachers know what they are doing,our district has won a few National awards the last couple of years, and who knows maybe she sees a little violin prodigy in my ds I guess I just felt that since playing an instrument inband or orchestra is optional, that when they met with the parents and students together it was to figure out together what would be the best to play. I went through this meeting with my dd, however she is nothing like my ds and of her 3 picks, the violin (her 2nd choice) was the only one she was physically comfortable with so it was an easy decision and we knew walking out of there that she was going to be playing it. He's excited and he just found out one of his best friends down the street got the viola. Maybe having them practice together will help.

 

[Tink888]

We don't have try-outs at the elementary level, this meeting was just a way for the students to familiarize themselves with the instruments they picked and to be evaluated by the teacher to see which best fit them. My point was that, ability shouldn't be the only thing to come into play when deciding which instrument is the best fit. If you are going to have these meetings, and make the parent be there, whats the point really, why not just do like the pp school and let the kids play what they pick, or assign strings one year and then band another

The parents are responsible for the cost of renting or buying the intrument and I certainly understand that they have a maximum number of percussionists, violinists, trumpets, etc. I just think they see the choices the kids put down, and pick one for them before even going into the meeting, at least thats the impression she gave meby her response to my concerns.

Not at all. You said your son chose percussion and violin as HIS choices. He got the violin, which was one of his choices.

In our district, they allow the kids to try different instruments and as long as the instrument is a good fit in terms of mouthpieces, the child can choose which instrument to play.

Along with what some other posters mentioned, at our school, even if a child wants percussion, they will advise them to choose another instrument (unless they've already had private lessons and are exceptionally good) for the reason being that percussion is so competitive and by the time high school rolls around, only the best of the best percussionists will play for the limited spots that there are. By choosing an alternate instrument, EVERY child is guaranteed to have the opportunity to play in band later.

If your son is set on percussion, my advice is to go the private lesson route and try out for percussion in high school. It's still not a guarantee he'll get a spot but almost every percussionist at the high school level has had years of private lessons along with whatever instruction they received in band at school. Again, ENOURMOUSLY competitive.

If you are concerned about self-esteem or your son losing interest and not wanting to play because the violin may be a little harder to master, well, IMHO those scenarios aren't a result of poor self-esteem. EVERY kid in band is likely to go through spurts when they feel like it's too hard, it's boring, they don't want to practice and so on. That's where parents come in. We make them practice, even when they don't want to. We encourage, attend performances, praise, nag sometimes and so on. In the end, your son's self-esteem will increase as he learns and masters the instrument that is more challenging to him which he chose.

 

[Colleen27]

When my kids decided to take up an instrument in fourth grade (which is when instruction at the elementary level starts in our district), they were told to put their 1st, 2nd and 3rd choices down. In every case, with the exception of percussion, the kids choices are granted. The problem with percussion is that it is VERY competitive. .

That's pretty much how our school works it too. Kids list their top 3, and according to the band director about 3/4 of them list drums/percussion as their top choice. Since you need something more than drums to make a band, obviously they don't all get their first pick. My son's list was drums, trombone, tuba and he'll be starting with trombone in the fall.

Once they get older, kids start dropping out and the band has two "seasons" (marching & symphonic), so there's plenty of opportunity to change instruments. My school worked basically the same way and I didn't get my top choice (sax) in my first year so I started out on clarinet for 6th & 7th grades. In 8th grade, I started playing oboe for symphonic band and stuck with that all the way through to graduation. But that year and the next, I still played clarinet for marching band. In 9th I took up alto sax for jazz band and in 10th switched over to sax for marching band as well. And in 11th, I switched to soprano sax for jazz band but stuck with alto sax for marching. (My poor mother - some girls collect dolls, I collected musical instruments ).

So I wasn't all that concerned about what DS picks right now to start off in; that first instrumental experience is as much about learning to read and understand music as about technique, and there will be time down the road for him to explore other things.

 

[momof1princess]

well, my DD wanted to be in the band, but didn't know what instrument she wanted to play, so the band director let each child try out several instruments and he observed them and made recommendations as to which instrument he thought would work out best. he recommended the trombone for my daughter, but i knew she wouldn't like it, because it's so big, and she wouldn't want to lug the case around. i suggested the clarinet, and she gave it a try and LOVES it. she's been playing for a year and can't wait to get back to it this fall.
in our HS band, there's a shortage of percussionists-it's so bad that one of DD's 6th grade classmates (bear in mind, this is their FIRST year playing) was picked to march next fall.

 

[luvmy3]

Not at all. You said your son chose percussion and violin as HIS choices. He got the violin, which was one of his choices.

In our district, they allow the kids to try different instruments and as long as the instrument is a good fit in terms of mouthpieces, the child can choose which instrument to play.

Along with what some other posters mentioned, at our school, even if a child wants percussion, they will advise them to choose another instrument (unless they've already had private lessons and are exceptionally good) for the reason being that percussion is so competitive and by the time high school rolls around, only the best of the best percussionists will play for the limited spots that there are. By choosing an alternate instrument, EVERY child is guaranteed to have the opportunity to play in band later.

If your son is set on percussion, my advice is to go the private lesson route and try out for percussion in high school. It's still not a guarantee he'll get a spot but almost every percussionist at the high school level has had years of private lessons along with whatever instruction they received in band at school. Again, ENOURMOUSLY competitive.

If you are concerned about self-esteem or your son losing interest and not wanting to play because the violin may be a little harder to master, well, IMHO those scenarios aren't a result of poor self-esteem. EVERY kid in band is likely to go through spurts when they feel like it's too hard, it's boring, they don't want to practice and so on. That's where parents come in. We make them practice, even when they don't want to. We encourage, attend performances, praise, nag sometimes and so on. In the end, your son's self-esteem will increase as he learns and masters the instrument that is more challenging to him which he chose.

Regarding the bolded, I meant that they look at the choices each student puts down and then chooses one from the choices in order to fill spots. Of course thats probably not how it goes, but the way she completely disregarded anything I had to say, gave me the impression that in her mind she already made the decision to put him on violin. (Without consulting with the band teacher, or waiting until all the students had their meetings). Its hard to explain if you weren't there in the meeting. My concern is not that he hasn't gotten one of his picks.

As far as my ds and his self esteem issues, its not the same as every kids feelings that they arent doing something well. He has been in therapy in the past and we thought he was doing well without it, but this past year had alot of downs so I'm just trying to avoid another year like that.

 

[golfgal]

Regarding the bolded, I meant that they look at the choices each student puts down and then chooses one from the choices in order to fill spots. Of course thats probably not how it goes, but the way she completely disregarded anything I had to say, gave me the impression that in her mind she already made the decision to put him on violin. (Without consulting with the band teacher, or waiting until all the students had their meetings). Its hard to explain if you weren't there in the meeting. My concern is not that he hasn't gotten one of his picks.

As far as my ds and his self esteem issues, its not the same as every kids feelings that they arent doing something well. He has been in therapy in the past and we thought he was doing well without it, but this past year had alot of downs so I'm just trying to avoid another year like that.

Maybe another way of looking at this for your son, he picks the violin, you go talk to the teacher and tell her you don't think that is a good choice, your son then thinks he can't play that because YOU don't think he can-don't you think that is worse for his self esteem then trying something and finding out you aren't good at it--at least he tried instead of thinking his mom thinks he isn't good at anything. Just something for you to think about as you are running around trying to make things easier for him. Nothing that you do for him to make his life easier will help his self esteem-that is something HE has to do through his own accomplishments.

 

[KiminChicago]

Actually, once I did get involved with the band director, when my dd quit playing the flute. Music is pull-out, and she was missing important work. He actually called me, and begged me to keep her in, so I said okay. She was SO mad at me, and after a few weeks of being pulled out of these classes still (he said he would try different times), she quit again. I should've stayed out of it!

I had the complete opposite experience with DS. He was taking an honors Spanish class in 7th grade (if he keeps it up in 8th grade he will go into high school with a full year of foreign language credit). Anyway, the pull-out times for his instrument (clarinet), cycle through his other classes. Since he was finding Spanish a struggle at the beginning of the year, he went to the band director and explained his difficulty. The band director agreed to pull him out with the trumpets whenever the pull-out time for clarinets fell during Spanish class. His B in Spanish went up to an A and everyone was happy (and I didn't even know about it until two months after they worked it out).

Everyone here starts band or orchestra in 5th grade. They bring all the instruments to the school and allow the students to try out each of their choices. There is no emphasis on having a certain number or variety of instruments (DD's orchestra had 12 violins and 2 cellos, that was it). I guess everyone figures they'll sort it out in 6th grade. DD originally thought she wanted to play flute, but when she tried it out she couldn't produce a single note, so she went with her second choice, the violin.

DS had actually started clarinet privately in 4th grade because he so enjoyed the recorder. He wanted the saxophone in 5th grade, since he would have been a full year ahead of the other clarinetists. For some reason, no one is allowed to choose sax for 5th grade, so he decided to play the trombone. He switched back to clarinet in 6th grade and now in 7th grade he also finally got to play sax with the jazz band.

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe another way of looking at this for your son, he picks the violin, you go talk to the teacher and tell her you don't think that is a good choice, your son then thinks he can't play that because YOU don't think he can-don't you think that is worse for his self esteem then trying something and finding out you aren't good at it--at least he tried instead of thinking his mom thinks he isn't good at anything. Just something for you to think about as you are running around trying to make things easier for him. Nothing that you do for him to make his life easier will help his self esteem-that is something HE has to do through his own accomplishments.

I'm not sure if I said this in the OP, but he was not in the room when I was talking about my concerns, he had already left so he has no idea that I even talked about him. Also I do not plan on contacting the teacher at all, he was assigned violin and I'm not going to try to change that. I'm not running around trying to make his life easier, I attended a meeting that was required for me to be there, I thought I was supposed to share my opinions about what musical instrument he should be playing (out of his choices) since its an optional extra curricular. Obviously I was just there to hold the paperwork.

ETA I also never said that I don't think he could play, my concerns had nothing to do with his capabilities. Luckily he got his musical ability from his dad.

 

[Cindy B]

At the end of 3rd grade, students were introduced to all available instruments. Sometimes the 5th graders would show off instruments and in some cases the middle school students would come in to show instruments.
My son picked oboe at the end of 3rd grade and he is now entering 10th grade..


\Hint: No one ever picks oboe or bassoon! That way you are guaranteed your first choice!

 

[mrodgers]

Whatever instrument my daughter is able to play in 4th grade next year is fine by me, as long as it it saxophone. At home, playing Pink Floyd with me on guitar and her playing the trombone just won't work, hehehe.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

In our school, kids can choose an instrument in 4th grade after everyone does the recorder course. My son has always wanted to play the drums. My DH played the drums all through high school and my son wanted to follow in his footsteps. We've taken him to lots of drum corps shows and he has developed quite an interest in becoming a drummer.

So in 4th grade, he signed up for drums. The music teacher would only take 4 kids in the beginning drum class and chose other kids. My son ended up choosing clarinet as his 2nd choice because his friend was doing it. He tried really hard with the clarinet. He practiced a lot at first and progressed well through the book. But, he just wasn't feeling it. He stuck it out for the year but definitely didn't want to continue with it in 5th grade. The sad part was that 3 of the 4 kids chosen for drums ended up dropping out about midway through the year. They just stopped practicing and when the teacher told them to step it up they just stopped showing up for their lesson.

The music teacher allowed my son to play drums this past year when he was in 5th grade. He progressed through the book faster than anyone else in the beginning drum class. He practiced like crazy and showed a natural ability. He also had the advantage of having dad help him with the more difficult pieces.

I get that they only have a limited number of spaces for some instruments. And I'm glad my son was able to start drums even it was a year late. I think it's a shame that 3 kids took up spaces in the drum class and then didn't even finish out the year. Luckily, my son will be able to take band has his elective in middle school next year and continue playing.

 

[aprilgail2]

Our kids pick in 3rd grade which instrument they want to play. The kids have to already have a drum set at home if they want to sign up for drums and if to many sign up they have tryouts to see which kids get to play drums.

 

[mom2kazkids]

Here in our school district, 5th graders are required a music elective, band, orchestra, chorus, or general music eduction. For band choices 5th graders are only allowed to pick from flute, clarinet, trombone, trumpet, or baritone. You must have piano background to try out for percussion.

My son is planning on clarinet for 5th grade, with plans to change to sax in 6th grade. DD will be in 5th grade next year, and I am really hoping that she will play the flute. I have a clarinet and got it out once and had her try to hold it, she is very petite and had a problem getting her fingers to cover the holes, at least with flute the holes are covered with pads, but we will see what happens.

 

[C.Ann]

Several years ago DGD was able to choose the clarinet - which she has been playing ever since..

I never knew that some schools made their own choices for the children..

 

[FireDancer]

The really frown apon changing once your instrument has been assigned so he will have to play it the whole year. I know he will do really well, its just that he has very low self esteem coupled with a very pessimistic attitude so at first when he doesn't get it, he will withdraw from it and it will become a huge fight to get him to continue. It goes deeper than that too, he will convince himself he isn't good and he never will be no matter what we tell him. I was hoping he would get percussion since he already knows how to play from his experience on dh's kit. I think it would have been great for his self esteem and we could avoid what is ineviatble (sp?) when he starts the violin.

The first time he picked up drum sticks he was probably not very good at it but he didn't give up, kept practicing and learned how to play. Why do you think he was able to do it once with drums but won't again with a violin?

If he finds he has the same anxiety problem with verbs in English you won't be able to say don't worry about verbs, just concentrate on nouns and adverbs instead. You have to learn the assigned subject in math, English, history, and all the other subjects so why not treat music class like those and the violin like the assigned subject?

I'm just curious.

 

[Scurvy]

The really frown apon changing once your instrument has been assigned so he will have to play it the whole year. I know he will do really well, its just that he has very low self esteem coupled with a very pessimistic attitude so at first when he doesn't get it, he will withdraw from it and it will become a huge fight to get him to continue. It goes deeper than that too, he will convince himself he isn't good and he never will be no matter what we tell him. I was hoping he would get percussion since he already knows how to play from his experience on dh's kit. I think it would have been great for his self esteem and we could avoid what is ineviatble (sp?) when he starts the violin.

In a way, I wonder if this might have worked against him. Did your husband actually teach him how to play? Meaning, does he actually know how to read the charts and play specific rhythms? If so, then I'm sort of surprised the director didn't put him on drums. But if he wasn't really learning all the fundamentals and was just playing what sounded good, that's different. I'd rather teach someone who has never touched a drumstick in his life than someone who has just messed around with a drum set - it's too easy to pick up bad habits, and a blank slate is easier to work with than someone with bad habits. Of course even if he's really great with the drum set, that's very different from what he'd be doing as a percussionist most of the time. Either way, I hope he's excited about being chosen for violin. I didn't get my first choice - I wanted saxophone - but I got flute, which was my second choice and it worked out perfectly. I still remember how excited I was the day I took my first flute home! I hope your son really enjoys the violin!

But for the percussion, it is MANDATORY that they have had 2 years of piano lessons in order to qualify to TRY OUT for those instrument choices. They only pick 10 kids, so it's no guarantee that you'll get a percussion spot even if you have the piano lessons.

That's how it is here, also. The percussion spots are highly competitve, and you don't have a chance of being chosen if you can't already read music.

 

[aprilgail2]

I never knew that some schools just assigned you any old instrument that they wanted to give you....I think that is nuts. They get no input in what they want to play at all? Do the schools give you the instruments then when they tell you what you are going to play? We have to rent or buy our own here but the kids get to pick what they want to play- I think I would rather pay for the instrument than just have the school assign something for the child to play.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Reading over this entire thread I think that the teacher DID listen to your concerns and placed your son with violin BECAUSE of the self esteem issues.

It would seem to me that since percussion is SO competitive in the higher grades that it could crush a child without much confidence. How would your son feel if he played drums this year and thought he was doing them well and was proud of himself and then did not make the cut nest year? Or the year after? It can be hard even on very confident people to handle the rejection of losing a try out for something you have worked hard for. It could be devastating for your son.

Also, it sounds as if your son's experience is with a drum kit. This is pretty different than orchestral percussion. So right now his drumming skills are something he is proud of, right? What happens when he gets into orchestra and finds out he does not have percussion skills yet and THAT is a struggle? Will his self esteem take a double hit? Meaning he is not only frustrated that he is not picking it up fast enough but he now looses his pride over his drumming skills that he now has.

Finally, as a mother of one very anxious young lady and one young man with processing and motor and speech issues--please try not to borrow trouble. Be excited for and with your son--he got what he wanted. Maybe struggling to learn an instrument (that his dad does not play so he will not compare himself there either) and seeing the results of his hard work turn out well by year's end will be just the self esteem boost he needs.

EDITED TO ADD: Oops, I forgot to answer your original question. When I was in Jr High my parents had no say in my choice of instrument. I don't think they ever got to meet the teacher--they would have liked to meet him though. If y children's school gets a grant to cover music again I will not expect to have an say OTHER than if it is a large cumbersome instrument it would be an issue because they have to walk a ways and take two forms of public transit to and from school (but then I would try to work out a reasonable deal on renting two or something and have one stay at school and one at home).

 

[McKelly]

At the end of 3rd grade, students were introduced to all available instruments. Sometimes the 5th graders would show off instruments and in some cases the middle school students would come in to show instruments.
My son picked oboe at the end of 3rd grade and he is now entering 10th grade..


\Hint: No one ever picks oboe or bassoon! That way you are guaranteed your first choice!

Well, that explains my DD. She wrote her top three as clarinet, flute and oboe as her third choice. Well, she came home assigned the oboe!! She's happy, so that's all that matters. My DS wants to play the bassoon, once he gets to 6th grade, guess he won't be disappointed either!! LOL!!

 

[luvmy3]

The first time he picked up drum sticks he was probably not very good at it but he didn't give up, kept practicing and learned how to play. Why do you think he was able to do it once with drums but won't again with a violin?

If he finds he has the same anxiety problem with verbs in English you won't be able to say don't worry about verbs, just concentrate on nouns and adverbs instead. You have to learn the assigned subject in math, English, history, and all the other subjects so why not treat music class like those and the violin like the assigned subject?

I'm just curious.

And I will because as I have said over and over in this thread that he will play the violin. I'm not quite sure why I have to keep repeating that or repeating that I went to a meeting and thought I was there for my input because this wasen't assigned, its a choice for him to play. I thought that the orchestra and band teachers wanted to hear any concerns from parents along with any instrument background their child has, obviously I misunderstood and felt like what I said was just blown off.
I came here to ask what other school's do because I was curious if they did take into account anything the parent had to say, I didn't come here to vent and whine that my ds has to play the violin.

In a way, I wonder if this might have worked against him. Did your husband actually teach him how to play? Meaning, does he actually know how to read the charts and play specific rhythms? If so, then I'm sort of surprised the director didn't put him on drums. But if he wasn't really learning all the fundamentals and was just playing what sounded good, that's different. I'd rather teach someone who has never touched a drumstick in his life than someone who has just messed around with a drum set - it's too easy to pick up bad habits, and a blank slate is easier to work with than someone with bad habits. Of course even if he's really great with the drum set, that's very different from what he'd be doing as a percussionist most of the time. Either way, I hope he's excited about being chosen for violin. I didn't get my first choice - I wanted saxophone - but I got flute, which was my second choice and it worked out perfectly. I still remember how excited I was the day I took my first flute home! I hope your son really enjoys the violin!

He knows how to play very simpkle rhythms on the drums, not how to actually drum. He does know what all the drums are and what sound (or note?) they make. As you can see I know nothing about them He knows how to read music because he took recorder, he is no way an experienced player I really just meant he is familiar with how to play. Also percussion is not drums, they start on the bells (which to me looked like a zylaphone) and triangle and they need a practice (drum)pad.

Reading over this entire thread I think that the teacher DID listen to your concerns and placed your son with violin BECAUSE of the self esteem issues.

It would seem to me that since percussion is SO competitive in the higher grades that it could crush a child without much confidence. How would your son feel if he played drums this year and thought he was doing them well and was proud of himself and then did not make the cut nest year? Or the year after? It can be hard even on very confident people to handle the rejection of losing a try out for something you have worked hard for. It could be devastating for your son.

Also, it sounds as if your son's experience is with a drum kit. This is pretty different than orchestral percussion. So right now his drumming skills are something he is proud of, right? What happens when he gets into orchestra and finds out he does not have percussion skills yet and THAT is a struggle? Will his self esteem take a double hit? Meaning he is not only frustrated that he is not picking it up fast enough but he now looses his pride over his drumming skills that he now has.

Finally, as a mother of one very anxious young lady and one young man with processing and motor and speech issues--please try not to borrow trouble. Be excited for and with your son--he got what he wanted. Maybe struggling to learn an instrument (that his dad does not play so he will not compare himself there either) and seeing the results of his hard work turn out well by year's end will be just the self esteem boost he needs.

EDITED TO ADD: Oops, I forgot to answer your original question. When I was in Jr High my parents had no say in my choice of instrument. I don't think they ever got to meet the teacher--they would have liked to meet him though. If y children's school gets a grant to cover music again I will not expect to have an say OTHER than if it is a large cumbersome instrument it would be an issue because they have to walk a ways and take two forms of public transit to and from school (but then I would try to work out a reasonable deal on renting two or something and have one stay at school and one at home).

I'm not sure thats why she decided to put him on violin, if it is thats fine but like I said it was almost like she was completely ignoring what I was saying during the meeting so I'm not convincd she was actually listening. Its hard to explain but I'm sure you have had a conversation where it was apparent that all they wanted was to hear themselves talk and just wait till your lips stopped moving so they could get a chance to say what they wanted to. Thats the impression I got. I understand that if my purpose there was not to be heard, however she could have at least said something like "we take all of this int9o consideration, or we only focus on how the instrument fits them and if they are comfortable". It just seemed like she had the attitide that since I didn't know anything about music, I didn't know what I was talking about (which is not normally like her, she has been my dd's orchestra teacher for the past 2 years and we talked about her moving foward in the Jr. High and how the orchestra teacher is a hard*** compared to her).
Anyway whats done is done, he is happy to play the violin and would have been happy to play percussion. It will be a long road (I don't mean the actual learning to play) but he will get throught it and do very well just like he does everything else, he just needs to believe it and that is going to be the hardest part for him.