Do you get any input about what musical instrument you child will play in school?

[luvmy3]

Percussion choice was huge for both my boys - 4 years apart. Every kid wanted that as first choice. OK not every just many. My oldest picked percussion in 6th grade and got it. He stayed with it for 3 years. His teacher approached him and asked him to switch to French Horn. He and I were like huh? However my son liked the idea! This is his 4th year and he still loves it.

My youngest picked Trombone. He stayed with it for 3 years and decided he would like to be in chorus instead! Alrighty then!

I wouldnt put too much stock into what he starts out with. And - since he did pick it and it wasn't just assigned, let him try it! If he isn't happy he can change. Let him feel proud that he got what he picked and see how it goes.

The really frown apon changing once your instrument has been assigned so he will have to play it the whole year. I know he will do really well, its just that he has very low self esteem coupled with a very pessimistic attitude so at first when he doesn't get it, he will withdraw from it and it will become a huge fight to get him to continue. It goes deeper than that too, he will convince himself he isn't good and he never will be no matter what we tell him. I was hoping he would get percussion since he already knows how to play from his experience on dh's kit. I think it would have been great for his self esteem and we could avoid what is ineviatble (sp?) when he starts the violin.

 

[luvmy3]

I am not understanding the issue at hand. You mentioned in your original post that your son did not have a #1 choice and that percussion and violin were tied. Your son had the opportunity to become familiar with both percussion and violin at the meeting. The teacher(s) then evaluated him to determine the best fit. You stated that your son was happy with violin choice. It seems to me that he did get his pick of instrument and that the teacher thought it was a good fit! Perhaps the teacher(s) determined that your son was better suited for that particular instrument and not just trying to fill a spot...

I did explain that it had nothing to do with his musical ability but his personality type, and I just posted above some of the reasons I have concerns about the violin, which I did tell the teacher. He did excellent on the percussion also, but I never said this was about him not getting his pick.

 

[LuvOrlando]

He picked violin which he likes and I'm sure he will be good at after he practices. He was happy with that choice as well but I wanted to speak to the orchestra teacher about his personality type and why I didn't think it was a good choice for him.

I think that this, right here, is why the teacher didn't listen. I know it's hard to let go but so much of our kids development is based on their need to make independent choices the schools need to step in and create a healthy barrier. You know your kid, you are probably right, but that isn't always the point. In order to be a healthy adult the individual needs to recognize his/her limitations regardless of what the parent or anyone else sees. Sometimes it's good if a kid falls flat on his or her face, especially if the decision is of little consequence and this particular situation is relatively small compared to what is coming.

My kids' school program was set up exactly the same way. My kids were given 3 choices but the school made the final decision based upon availability and what the kids wanted. No-one asked me and I didn't step in for my kids because so much of what they want to do is based on friendships and they wanted to be with friends. Since I'm a big advocate of the idea that we need to choose our battles wisely with young adult children and schools, this one just didn't rank for me. The end result was my DS12 bailed on the Trumpet (but music isn't his bag anyway) while DD11 loves the Violin she chose. One kid discovered a new love and the other realized his passions lie elsewhere and both got a boost to their self esteem by making the choice as an individual, a win-win all around IMO.

As for fighting with him to get him to practice, I say don't. If he doesn't do it there will be consequences. Give him the room to see how peers react to this sort of thing, it's a good lesson in a safe environment.

 

[mjkacmom]

Actually more kids usually want violin. Maybe when they are in the Jr.High and high school it changes but in the 6th grade, there is a high demand for a violin spot.

Really? Here violin is the only instrument offered in 4th, and many drop it for other instruments in 5th, and it's almost impossible to get percussion, especially since most boys want it, there are only 3 spots, they have to pick at least 1 girl, and there are 60 kids per grade (usually two 6th graders and one 5th grader). Did your ds get his second choice?

 

[mjkacmom]

I think that this, right here, is why the teacher didn't listen. I know it's hard to let go but so much of our kids development is based on their need to make independent choices the schools need to step in and create a healthy barrier. You know your kid, you are probably right, but that isn't always the point. In order to be a healthy adult the individual needs to recognize his/her limitations regardless of what the parent or anyone else sees. Sometimes it's good if a kid falls flat on his or her face, especially if the decision is of little consequence and this particular situation is relatively small compared to what is coming.

My kids' school program was set up exactly the same way. My kids were given 3 choices but the school made the final decision based upon availability and what the kids wanted. No-one asked me and I didn't step in for my kids because so much of what they want to do is based on friendships and they wanted to be with friends. Since I'm a big advocate of the idea that we need to choose our battles wisely with young adult children and schools, this one just didn't rank for me. The end result was my DS12 bailed on the Trumpet (but music isn't his bag anyway) while DD11 loves the Violin she chose. One kid discovered a new love and the other realized his passions lie elsewhere and both got a boost to their self esteem by making the choice as an individual, a win-win all around IMO.

As for fighting with him to get him to practice, I say don't. If he doesn't do it there will be consequences. Give him the room to see how peers react to this sort of thing, it's a good lesson in a safe environment.

Once my kids got to 6th grade, I didn't get involved in issues like this. It's funny, ds chose the clarinet when there were too many who wanted to play the drums, having no idea what it was! He's a tall kid, and I thought he'd look silly playing it, and asked him if he wanted to switch to a more "manly" instrument like the trumpet. Nope - and now he really likes it. Glad I stayed out. He took some private drum lessons on his own.

Actually, once I did get involved with the band director, when my dd quit playing the flute. Music is pull-out, and she was missing important work. He actually called me, and begged me to keep her in, so I said okay. She was SO mad at me, and after a few weeks of being pulled out of these classes still (he said he would try different times), she quit again. I should've stayed out of it!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The really frown apon changing once your instrument has been assigned so he will have to play it the whole year. I know he will do really well, its just that he has very low self esteem coupled with a very pessimistic attitude so at first when he doesn't get it, he will withdraw from it and it will become a huge fight to get him to continue. It goes deeper than that too, he will convince himself he isn't good and he never will be no matter what we tell him. I was hoping he would get percussion since he already knows how to play from his experience on dh's kit. I think it would have been great for his self esteem and we could avoid what is ineviatble (sp?) when he starts the violin.

At the risk of sounding terrible I think you are way too involved. If he has self esteem issues then you need to work on them at home. If he is happy with his choice of instrument then let it be. If he gets discouraged you are going to have to find a way to motivate him. Not to be rude but how is he going to cope with anything if you don't teach him to? He is not going to be great at everything in life. How will he be able to function as an adult if you don't work through this now? It is just an instrument. I do think kids should be able to pick what they want to play but that is it. I too would have blown off your conversation about picking an istrument for his personality if I was the teacher. Any parent can go in and say their kid would do so much better at X instrument because of xyz. To be honest it sounds like a lame argument and a parent that is hovering too much. Now understand that I am not putting you down as I am a bit of a hover parent myself but this seems a little much. Now if your child really wanted to play say the flute and they gave him the tuba then yes, I would not be happy and would say something. If only because I want my child to play the instrument they want to play. I don't think any child should have to play something they don't want to. Let your child play the violin and just be his biggest fan. He might surprise you and really enjoy it.

 

[Magpie]

The really frown apon changing once your instrument has been assigned so he will have to play it the whole year. I know he will do really well, its just that he has very low self esteem coupled with a very pessimistic attitude so at first when he doesn't get it, he will withdraw from it and it will become a huge fight to get him to continue. It goes deeper than that too, he will convince himself he isn't good and he never will be no matter what we tell him. I was hoping he would get percussion since he already knows how to play from his experience on dh's kit. I think it would have been great for his self esteem and we could avoid what is ineviatble (sp?) when he starts the violin.

Okay, I've got a kid with a learning disability and anxiety problems. We deal with self-esteem issues all the time. And the one thing I've learned is that you CAN'T fix low self-esteem by only giving them tasks they're already good at! And you can't avoid the melt-downs either, because they'll always find someone better to compare themselves.

Your son wanted - at least at SOME point in this process - to play violin. So, your job is to give him a head start on learning before he starts school next year. You've got two whole months!

My son decided he wanted to play saxophone. We bought him an instrument ($$$ ) and signed him up for band camp. We found a nice, mellow private coach. We made him practice, and when we eventually hit the "I'll never be any good, I should just quit now," blues, we told him to suck it up and keep playing for his ten minutes a day.

"You know what kiddo? We don't care if you're no good. Lots of people are no good. This is your instrument, so dry those tears and keep honking that horn. Ten minutes never killed anyone!" (Except maybe ME, having to listen to him passive-aggressively blowing screeching noises through his sax...)

Oh, and he's a bit older so I don't know if this would be appropriate for your guy, but I've been making him watch "Dare to Suck" on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyhv80HDSj4

BTW - my son came through the other end, and while he's not the best sax player in band, he's good enough. And he knows it! He's even set his sights this summer on practicing and making it into the Grade 8 Jazz band, which requires auditions. I don't know what we'll do if he fails to get in - I imagine it won't be pretty. But we'll deal with it when it happens, if it happens.

Avoiding challenges is never a good policy when it comes to kids like this. (Though I certainly understand the temptation!)

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Okay, I've got a kid with a learning disability. We deal with self-esteem issues all the time. And the one thing I've learned is that you CAN'T fix low self-esteem by only giving them tasks they're already good at! And you can't avoid the melt-downs either, because they'll always find someone better to compare themselves.

Your son wanted - at least at SOME point in this process - to play violin. So, your job is to give him a head start on learning before he starts school next year. You've got two whole months!

My son decided he wanted to play saxophone. We bought him an instrument ($$$ ) and signed him up for band camp. We made him practice, and when we eventually hit the "I'll never be any good, I should just quit now," blues, we told him to suck it up and keep playing for his ten minutes a day.

"You know what kiddo? We don't care if you're no good. Lots of people are no good. This is your instrument, so dry those tears and keep honking that horn. Ten minutes never killed anyone!" (Except maybe ME, having to listen to him passive-aggressively blowing screeching noises through his sax...)

Oh, and he's a bit older so I don't know if this would be appropriate for your guy, but I've been making him watch "Dare to Suck" on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyhv80HDSj4

BTW - my son came through the other end, and while he's not the best sax player in band, he's good enough. And he knows it! He's even set his sights this summer on practicing and making it into the Grade 8 Jazz band, which requires auditions. I don't know what we'll do if he fails to get in - I imagine it won't be pretty. But we'll deal with it when it happens, if it happens.

Avoiding challenges is never a good policy when it comes to kids like this. (Though I certainly understand the temptation!)

You said this much better than I did.

 

[golfgal]

When our kids started they had a day where the kids could try instruments (band) and if they could make a sound on the instrument they could put it on their list in order that THEY wanted. Our oldest plays the trombone, our twins play the saxophone. We had no say in the matter and didn't want a say in the matter as we were not the ones playing the instrument.

Now, as far as self esteem issues go, the violin is an easy instrument to make a sound with as well as learning some basic songs so it is easy to get going on the violin--of course to play more complicated music down the road you need a good ear but to START it is pretty easy. (I play the violin). I don't see what the issue is and I have to agree with the others, back off and let him do what he wants otherwise you are going to end up fighting with him to practice and all he is going to have to say is "you MADE me take this when I wanted to play THAT".

 

[NeverlandClub23]

When I was in middle school we got to pick our own instrument. I wanted something that I didn't have compete with to be able to be good (like the 20 clarinet players and 18 flute players). I picked french horn (there were only two of us) and I lugged that thing around for years. I wish my parents had of stepped in 'cause that thing was a pain to drag for half a mile to the bus stop!

I would just do my best to reinforce him that he's doing a good job and putting the effort in. I sucked at french horn (apparently you have to practice to be good ) but just liked being part of the band (as they drowned out how awful I was). Band is just a minor thing for most kids. I would let him try it and maybe find other things for him to do that he can gain some self esteem (or confidence) through (karate? swimming? running? volunteering?).

 

[luvmy3]

Really? Here violin is the only instrument offered in 4th, and many drop it for other instruments in 5th, and it's almost impossible to get percussion, especially since most boys want it, there are only 3 spots, they have to pick at least 1 girl, and there are 60 kids per grade (usually two 6th graders and one 5th grader). Did your ds get his second choice?

Here alot of the boys pick violin, and the viola. My dd's class has 3 percussionists, 2 of them female. I don't know how many violins there are in total but half of the are boys.

At the risk of sounding terrible I think you are way too involved. If he has self esteem issues then you need to work on them at home. If he is happy with his choice of instrument then let it be. If he gets discouraged you are going to have to find a way to motivate him. Not to be rude but how is he going to cope with anything if you don't teach him to? He is not going to be great at everything in life. How will he be able to function as an adult if you don't work through this now? It is just an instrument. I do think kids should be able to pick what they want to play but that is it. I too would have blown off your conversation about picking an istrument for his personality if I was the teacher. Any parent can go in and say their kid would do so much better at X instrument because of xyz. To be honest it sounds like a lame argument and a parent that is hovering too much. Now understand that I am not putting you down as I am a bit of a hover parent myself but this seems a little much. Now if your child really wanted to play say the flute and they gave him the tuba then yes, I would not be happy and would say something. If only because I want my child to play the instrument they want to play. I don't think any child should have to play something they don't want to. Let your child play the violin and just be his biggest fan. He might surprise you and really enjoy it.

You don't sound terrible however I will disagree, I'm actually not involved at all. I went to a mandatory meeting and voiced some concerns to ateacher that has never met my ds. I did not tell them what instrument to give him, and I'm not going to call them and tell them I want to change things. I was curious as to why we have these meetings with parents, if all we are supposed to do there is sit and nod our heads and smile. He will play the violin, and he will not be allowed to quit and he (and we) will deal with whatever happens. I just know that teacher is going to call me (I know this from experinece the last 5 years he's been in school) and I'mjust going to think in the back of my head "I told you so". And I do know eventually he will enjoy it and if he doesn't then come 6th grade he wont have to play. It going to be a very hard time at home and at school for him in the beginning but I know he can and will get through it, and we will do what we need to for him to, we won't be rescuing from anything because we do understand that he needs to learn to cope with this kind of stuff on his own.

 

[Magpie]

Here alot of the boys pick violin, and the viola. My dd's class has 3 percussionists, 2 of them female. I don't know how many violins there are in total but half of the are boys.



You don't sound terrible however I will disagree, I'm actually not involved at all. I went to a mandatory meeting and voiced some concerns to ateacher that has never met my ds. I did not tell them what instrument to give him, and I'm not going to call them and tell them I want to change things. I was curious as to why we have these meetings with parents, if all we are supposed to do there is sit and nod our heads and smile. He will play the violin, and he will not be allowed to quit and he (and we) will deal with whatever happens. I just know that teacher is going to call me (I know this from experinece the last 5 years he's been in school) and I'mjust going to think in the back of my head "I told you so". And I do know eventually he will enjoy it and if he doesn't then come 6th grade he wont have to play. It going to be a very hard time at home and at school for him in the beginning but I know he can and will get through it, and we will do what we need to for him to, we won't be rescuing from anything because we do understand that he needs to learn to cope with this kind of stuff on his own.

I'm guessing then that you may have misunderstood the purpose of the meeting. It sounds like it was more of an informational thing, and a "we want you on board with this, so you'll make your kids practice" meeting, rather than a "we want to know your opinion" meeting.

So yes, you were probably just supposed to nod and smile.

Schools are like that sometimes.

FWIW - my daughter said she wanted to play flute, so we pushed the school and made a big fuss and eventually forced them to let her have flute. Why? Well, partly because my husband doesn't like being told what to do and if his little girl wanted flute then darn it, she was getting flute! And also partly because flutes are cheaper than anything else on the list.

It didn't work out so well, actually. My daughter discovered that playing flute wasn't nearly as much fun as she thought, and she opted out of band, and now that darn instrument sits there gathering dust.

Having learned our lesson, we decided to let the school decide for our son. He wrote down his top three choices on a card. The school got all the kids together, had them going around gym trying different instruments, and then graded them on their "potential". My son then took his card, with his grades and choices to another teacher, who assigned him an instrument - which just happened to be his first choice. Other kids weren't so lucky, and there were some sad faces.

As a parent, I didn't get any say in my son's instrument. But it's worked out well.

I sometimes wonder if we'd let the school choose... would my daughter still be playing an instrument?

 

[MinnieFlute]

Band director here!

Here's how we do it. In mid-April we have a meeting with the incoming sixth graders and explain to them a few things:
-You'll try out a few different mouthpieces to instruments to see what "fits" you best. For example, a student with a "teardrop" on the top lip would have a hard time playing the flute (usually) so we evaluate things like that and give them scores on the instruments they try. We pick an instrument from there.
-There are a billion kids who want sax and percussion. You can't have 20 percussionists in a single junior high band (we're split into 4 bands in 7th and 8th grade, divided by ability). As a result, we pick the kids who only get the highest scores on their percussion audition or sax mouthpiece tryout. We want the kids that fit it the best!
-They need to think about what their top choices will be, but they can try out however many instruments they like.
-We can have as many flute, clarinet, trumpet, and trombone players as we want.
-There are some specialty instruments that are also limited - French Horn, double reeds, euphonium. Partially because we want kids who KNOW they will stay in band on those instruments and also because those are school owned horns. Down the line we only need so many of each of those in a band.
-Lots of kids don't wind up on their first choice instrument, but because it fits them well, they're better at it and they tend to enjoy it! You typically don't enjoy what is a major struggle for you, right?

And then we have an evening where all the kids try out different mouthpieces and see what fits them the best. We had like 70 kids try out for 12 percussion spots this year. Like 40 try out for 10 sax spots. Most kids leave happy, but every year we have the parent of a kid who didn't get a limited instrument yell at us because their kid didn't get what they wanted. I'm sorry, but we can't have 10 saxes in a single band! They'd never get to really play! Nor can we have umpteen percussionists - there wouldn't be parts for everyone! It's hard to convey this sometimes because we have to look out for our overall program. And you know, band teaches life lessons sometimes - like you don't always get everything you want exactly on your terms!

And some folks have brought up drum lessons - I tell you, if you want to be a percussionist and not a "drummer" take PIANO lessons and that will increase your chances of getting percussion at my school. Drumset and percussion are two different animals.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, our kids get input and if they want flute, clarinet, trumpet or trombone, they have the final say. If they want french horn, oboe, bassoon, euphonium or percussion they have input, but we have the final say. Hope that makes sense!

 

[Magpie]

Band director here!

Here's how we do it. In mid-April we have a meeting with the incoming sixth graders and explain to them a few things:
-You'll try out a few different mouthpieces to instruments to see what "fits" you best. For example, a student with a "teardrop" on the top lip would have a hard time playing the flute (usually) so we evaluate things like that and give them scores on the instruments they try. We pick an instrument from there.

Oh geez... My daughter has a scarred upper lip - it's not even straight. No wonder she didn't like playing flute.

Just goes to show what can happen when parents decide they know better than band directors.

Oh well, the child is not utterly music-less. She sings beautifully.

 

[jme829]

Band director here!

Here's how we do it. In mid-April we have a meeting with the incoming sixth graders and explain to them a few things:
-You'll try out a few different mouthpieces to instruments to see what "fits" you best. For example, a student with a "teardrop" on the top lip would have a hard time playing the flute (usually) so we evaluate things like that and give them scores on the instruments they try. We pick an instrument from there.
-There are a billion kids who want sax and percussion. You can't have 20 percussionists in a single junior high band (we're split into 4 bands in 7th and 8th grade, divided by ability). As a result, we pick the kids who only get the highest scores on their percussion audition or sax mouthpiece tryout. We want the kids that fit it the best!
-They need to think about what their top choices will be, but they can try out however many instruments they like.
-We can have as many flute, clarinet, trumpet, and trombone players as we want.
-There are some specialty instruments that are also limited - French Horn, double reeds, euphonium. Partially because we want kids who KNOW they will stay in band on those instruments and also because those are school owned horns. Down the line we only need so many of each of those in a band.
-Lots of kids don't wind up on their first choice instrument, but because it fits them well, they're better at it and they tend to enjoy it! You typically don't enjoy what is a major struggle for you, right?

And then we have an evening where all the kids try out different mouthpieces and see what fits them the best. We had like 70 kids try out for 12 percussion spots this year. Like 40 try out for 10 sax spots. Most kids leave happy, but every year we have the parent of a kid who didn't get a limited instrument yell at us because their kid didn't get what they wanted. I'm sorry, but we can't have 10 saxes in a single band! They'd never get to really play! Nor can we have umpteen percussionists - there wouldn't be parts for everyone! It's hard to convey this sometimes because we have to look out for our overall program. And you know, band teaches life lessons sometimes - like you don't always get everything you want exactly on your terms!

And some folks have brought up drum lessons - I tell you, if you want to be a percussionist and not a "drummer" take PIANO lessons and that will increase your chances of getting percussion at my school. Drumset and percussion are two different animals.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, our kids get input and if they want flute, clarinet, trumpet or trombone, they have the final say. If they want french horn, oboe, bassoon, euphonium or percussion they have input, but we have the final say. Hope that makes sense!

Our school is orchestra only for 4th and 5th grade...They can choose any of the string instruments they want (dd11 plays violin, ds is going to start on the cello) including violin, viola, cello and bass.

In 6th , they have the option of switching to band or sticking with orchestra (or they can drop it and take choir or study hall). DD is continuing with orchestra and picking up choir.

If they choose band, I "think" they have them try out a few instruments and then determine what fits best.

But for the percussion, it is MANDATORY that they have had 2 years of piano lessons in order to qualify to TRY OUT for those instrument choices. They only pick 10 kids, so it's no guarantee that you'll get a percussion spot even if you have the piano lessons.

 

[N&B'smom]

Band director here!

Here's how we do it. In mid-April we have a meeting with the incoming sixth graders and explain to them a few things:
-You'll try out a few different mouthpieces to instruments to see what "fits" you best. For example, a student with a "teardrop" on the top lip would have a hard time playing the flute (usually) so we evaluate things like that and give them scores on the instruments they try. We pick an instrument from there.
-There are a billion kids who want sax and percussion. You can't have 20 percussionists in a single junior high band (we're split into 4 bands in 7th and 8th grade, divided by ability). As a result, we pick the kids who only get the highest scores on their percussion audition or sax mouthpiece tryout. We want the kids that fit it the best!
-They need to think about what their top choices will be, but they can try out however many instruments they like.
-We can have as many flute, clarinet, trumpet, and trombone players as we want.
-There are some specialty instruments that are also limited - French Horn, double reeds, euphonium. Partially because we want kids who KNOW they will stay in band on those instruments and also because those are school owned horns. Down the line we only need so many of each of those in a band.
-Lots of kids don't wind up on their first choice instrument, but because it fits them well, they're better at it and they tend to enjoy it! You typically don't enjoy what is a major struggle for you, right?

And then we have an evening where all the kids try out different mouthpieces and see what fits them the best. We had like 70 kids try out for 12 percussion spots this year. Like 40 try out for 10 sax spots. Most kids leave happy, but every year we have the parent of a kid who didn't get a limited instrument yell at us because their kid didn't get what they wanted. I'm sorry, but we can't have 10 saxes in a single band! They'd never get to really play! Nor can we have umpteen percussionists - there wouldn't be parts for everyone! It's hard to convey this sometimes because we have to look out for our overall program. And you know, band teaches life lessons sometimes - like you don't always get everything you want exactly on your terms!

And some folks have brought up drum lessons - I tell you, if you want to be a percussionist and not a "drummer" take PIANO lessons and that will increase your chances of getting percussion at my school. Drumset and percussion are two different animals.

Anyway, to answer your question, yes, our kids get input and if they want flute, clarinet, trumpet or trombone, they have the final say. If they want french horn, oboe, bassoon, euphonium or percussion they have input, but we have the final say. Hope that makes sense!

This sounds much like what they do in our school the end of 3rd grade. My DS11 (when in 4th grade) had thought he would just go for the trumpet. But our band director actually approached him and asked him to play the euphonium. He tried it out and was pleased with it so he has been playing that for the last two years. The band director actually asked 2 or 3 kids and one of them turned him down and went with his first choice. (so the option was there)

 

[Tinijocaro]

String teacher here: I just told a kid he could have viola even though I'm desperate for violins. Some schools are very strict but I just can't do that to a kid. Some kids can be easily swayed and I do try, gently to sway if there is some interest in a particular instrument I need. I do not force though. Usually, if a kid is forced to play a certain instrument, the teacher will be blamed if it doesn't work out. Your son just may not present himself as the percussion type.

We have kids choose a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choice too. Those kids who have their heart set on a certain instrument sometimes only put one choice and I really make an attempt to be sure they get that instrument. One kid put violin for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choice.

That said, dh is a band director and percussion is often the number one choice among kids. Our elementary schools only each choose two kids for percussion each year. Your school may have already filled their percussion spots. The teacher may have seen a trait in your son that they didn't feel would work.. Percussionists need to be focused, independent, have good rhythm. You get someone back there with impulse control issues, or just a somewhat goofy kid and that's a lot of trouble for the band director. Perhaps the band director talked to the classroom teacher (we often do) and was given a reason why your ds would not be good on percussion.

I will only take a certain type of kid on bass-serious, great family support, studious. Some kids just choose it because it's huge and they want to be different but don't actually like the bass. I'm really picky now and only select two each year. I will only choose one if the second doesn't fit the criteria.

OTOH, if your ds REALLY wants percussion, get him private lessons over the summer, make him practice a lot and have him audition in the fall-make a stink about it in the fall. I personally would not refuse a kid who went that out of his way to show me he could do it, but percussion is different. If band driectors let all the kids who wanted take percussion-the high school bands would be a bunch of flutes and percussion.

Good Luck!

ETA:

Contact the teacher again and explain your situation..Your ds may still not get percussion, but if prefers another band instrument over strings, that may be a possibility.

I am curious because my ds just had his band and orchestra meeting last week and we got the letter home today saying what instrument was picked for him. Before the meeting they have the kids pick 3 in order and at the meeting they let them try them out. My ds didn't have a #1, he was tied between two and he did an excellent job on the percussion. I explained that we have a drum kit at home so he has experience with keeping rhythm etc. He was shown a note on the bells and asked to play a song just using his knowledge of what notes make up the song and where they would be found on the keys, and he nailed it. It came naturally to him, great I thought, he found something he wants to do and can be very good at it.
Then it was on to the meeting for orchestra instruments. He picked violin which he likes and I'm sure he will be good at after he practices. He was happy with that choice as well but I wanted to speak to the orchestra teacher about his personality type and why I didn't think it was a good choice for him. I am not going into details here, but I did for her and gave her specific examples of what we went through when he was learning the recorder, and other examples of non music related things. Anyway, she totally blew what I was saying off, it didnt matter to her, it was almost like she wasn't listening because she said things like "oh I didn't want to practice either but I did and I wanted to give up at first because I wasn't good at it". Trust me this has nothing to do with him not wanting to practice because he isn't good at it, it goes much deeper and darker for him. I was hoping that after getting together with the band teacher (who unfortunately was not the school's band teacher) they would discuss our meetings and what I had to say and he would be picked for percussion. He wasn't and I feel like they really didn't care what I had to say, they needed a violin to fill a spot, he tried it, so they picked him for it. I just don't get it, if they want to foster a love of music for these kids why in the world wouldn't they take into account personality traits along with ability. The only thing I can think of is when she calls me during the next school year to discuss him (which I guarantee will happen), I can just tell her that I tried to tell her.

Just wondering if music programs in all schools are like this?

 

[Tinijocaro]

In my district the kids got to choose what instrument to play in 4th grade. They did not try to fill a predetermined list to make sure that all instruments were covered, and there was no issue of "ability" since everyone was a beginner (and I don't see how ability can be evaluated quickly as seems to be the case in the OP's case).

Because of this, the flute section was huge (most of the girls)! However, it all worked out somehow and the band was complete.

Ability to produce a basic first sound. Thick lipped kids have trouble on French horn, a kid with braces may have trouble with brass instruments. a kid with fine motor issues should avoid the violin. Stuff like that. Some kids struggle to get a sound on the flute and after repeated tries, it is determined that flute may not be the best choice for them.

 

[Rora]

At my schools (elementary, middle, and high school), the student got to choose the instrument they wanted to play. There wasn't any rankings of preference and nothing was chosen for us.

Hope it all works out for your DS!

 

[Magic Mom]

DD is starting middle school band this year. They got to pick their instrument, but they had to show an apptitude for it after trying several for the teachers. DD did well on all her tries. The teacher gave her an OK for whatever she chose (out of the instuments she tried out), but nudged her towards flute, because they hadn't had many do well on the flute and DD did very good on it. So she chose the flute.

OP, you said your son was happy to try the violin. Let him try it. I understand that there is some issue that you think will cause that to be a bad choice, but he has to be able to try.At his age, you can't mold the world to fit his personality traits anymore, he is going to have to find a way to mold his personality traits around the world to get what he wants from life.