Do you ever miss someone so much?

[mrsltg]

Hi All-

The last day or two have been a little out of the ordinary for me. My grandmother passed away about a year and half ago (10/05/04). Two nights ago I had a dream with her in it. In my dream I knew she was gone but we were talking. I told her how much I missed her and how much it hurt that she never met my baby. She told me she knew and we hugged and I could smell the "Nana" smell - a combination of her shampoo, perfume, and mothballs . It was as real as if she were standing next to me. When I woke up I felt great! I spent all day yesterday deciding if it were a dream or if it really happened while I was sleeping (I believe in angels). Anyway, now I miss her as much as the day she died. I just cannot get over her loss.

Anyone have any advice or experience?

 

[ADisneygirl]

No advice, just a I have days when I suddenly remember my sister and can't stop crying. She passed away in 1999, and I didn't want to believe it then, and I don't think I really accept it now. The emotions seem to come out of nowhere. The smallest thing can remind me of her. And the big events really make me think of her, like when my daughter graduated from college last month. She always favored my daughter over her other neices and nephews. I like to think she was there watching with us.

 

[momof2minnies]

Erin,
I had the same thing happen to me when my Grandma died 10 yrs. ago and I believe it was real and she came to me. They say, if you believe this, that the sleep state is on a different level of awareness and that is why our loved ones come to us like this, it happened to my brother too.
Linda

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I also had a "Nana" that isn't with us anymore. I feel your pain. My youngest is six and did not meet Nana. It warms my heart when he is playing outside and sees a butterfly. He always stops what he is doing and says (hi Nana), then goes on about his business.

 

[goofy4tink]

I'm so sorry. It is hard though. I lost my mom almost 3 years ago, and not a day goes by that it doesn't make me sad that she isn't here to see her favorite granddaughter do stuff. I never realized what a good friend my mom was until it was too late.
I also had one of those dreams. I really do think our loved ones do try to get back to us through dreams. I had an occurance about 6 months after my mom died. She was very active in our church, and I took over some of her responsibilities there when she died. Well, I was all alone in the church, doing some stuff. As I walked past the back pew, where she always sat so as to be able to get up and down and be her busy self, I smelled her perfume! Now, there was not another soul in that church. There had been no odor/smell when I passed that same spot 20 minutes before!! Very spooky. There have been ladies that have looked for something, and said..'Oh God, I wish Peg was here, she would know where it is!!' and then, 5 minutes later it would 'occur' to them where to find the object.
So, take the dreams as they come along...I've only had the one. I miss her every single day. The pain and grief change, but never seem to go away completely. And keep talking about your grandmother...she deserves to be remembered. I know that when my mom was really afraid that her granddaughter would forget her. That she just wanted to 'be rememberd' for a very long time!! So, talk about her..laugh and remember those family moments. Yes, it can be sad but it's also very good for the family!

 

[Mi3stooges]

I believe that she was with you in your dream and continues to be near you. Keep watching for these signs, I believe in them.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I totally can relate. I miss my Dad very much. He passed unexpectedly about three and a half years ago. Somedays it seems as if he's been gone forever and others it seems as if he were just here yesterday. I still have dreams about him and I hope and pray I always will. I love when I have dreams about him.

I too get those outburst of emotions, sometimes for no reason or sometimes it may be a song on the radio or my friends talking about their Dad's.

OP- I know exactly what you mean about missing your grandmother today as much as you did the day she died. I think that's the way it will always be for me as far as missing my Dad.

 

[mrsltg]

Thank you all so much! I am sitting here listening to sappy music (especially Brad Paisley's "When I Get Where I'm Going" over and over) just thinking about her. It's amazing how much you can love someone.

I think this is all happening because the baby is turning one on Sunday and I found out I was pregnant right after Nana's funeral. I knew immediately I was having a girl as Nana always loved girls. Caroline was born on June 11th - same day as my aunt (one of Nana's children). I was recently walking around the house carrying Caroline and we were looking at pictures. I have a picture of Nana and Grandpa in my living room and the baby pointed to it and said, "Na-na". I swear, no one has ever told her who was in that picture or what their names are. It made me cry happy tears because I knew Nana had been involved with my Caroline. Anyway, I often talk to Nana throughout my day in my thoughts and I often think, "I wish I could tell Nana..." Maybe I was thinking about her more than usual and she came to give me a hug? Who knows... All I know is I love her so much, and I miss her.

I wish you all peace and comfort in your losses. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories. I hope one day someone talks about us with as much love!

 

[luvwinnie]

I've had those "dreams" with my mom...and I completely believe they are actual visits. Cherish those moments.

 

[Planogirl]

Those dreams fascinate me. I believe that there is some connection with those we love even after death.

 

[Robinrs]

I know... I miss my Mom and Dad sooooo much....

 

[Pea-n-Me]

What a nice experience! I've always been interested in this kind of thing. Many believe dreams of this type are actual visitations. The theory is that during our sleep state our subconscious mind is at a different energy level and/or less filled with distraction so communication is possible. If you google "visitation dreams" you can read others' experiences. Here are two to get you started.

http://www.dreamschool.org/11Howtointerpret/inner_levels/visitationdreams.html

http://www.near-death.com/experiences/visions01.html

I would love to have a visitation dream but have never really had one. They say you remember every detail about it for years to come, that's one of the ways you know it was not a "regular" dream.

I am open to other things such as songs and scents. I often smell cigarette smoke as does my DH (we don't smoke). One night during dinner it was very strong and both of us got up to check for smoke elsewhere in the house, and then poof, it was gone as fast as it came. My father was a big Pall Mall man, so I like to think it has something to do with him.

Another thing for us is "coins". My father passed before my twins were born and I get a little sad when I think about it. Both of them often find coins simultaneously at seemingly special moments. Like the first day of kindergarten, we were at the bus stop and one child finds a coin, then the other. When I was a kid we often went to NYC, Coney Island. On our first trip there with our twins, I saw that sky dome thing which I'd forgotten about and I stood there looking at it remembering being up there when I was little. Just then one of my kids finds a coin, and later in the day, the other one does also. We just call them Pennies from Heaven and the kids likes to think their Grandpa sends them. It happens a lot.

 

[PeterPanette]

Ten years ago, I lost my dad and my Noni (my mom's mom) within 2 months of each other. They were the two people I was closest to, and who loved me more than anyone else (besides my sons). My Noni was really the only true mother figure I'd ever had.

Needless to say, I was completely devastated, and I still cry whenever I think about them for more than a split second.

A couple of weeks after my father's death (due to a long, tragic illness) I had a dream where he and I were riding a roller coaster together. He was smiling and laughing so joyously. I just kept staring at him as we whipped around the turns and kept asking him, "How'd you DO that? How'd you make yourself well? You look so healthy! How'd you get well??" He just kept laughing. I woke up exhilarated, actually thinking he was magically "back alive" for a few crazy seconds before coming fully awake. I realized that he was just letting me know that he was okay where he was now, returned to his whole, healthy self, no longer wasting away in a nursing home bed. He chose the roller coaster scenario, because he always said I was his coaster riding partner, since my mom refused to ride them, and my brother and sister didn't love them like my dad and I did. Until that dream, I was still heavily grieving, and could barely force myself out of bed.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was having a lighthearted conversation with someone, laughing and joking, and they offhandedly mentioned my dad, and BAM! Instant tears! I was shocked at how easily I still cry over him.

Two months after my father's death, my beloved Noni unexpectedly died. I thought I was going to die from a broken heart. I won't type too much about it, since I'm already crying (10 yrs later). But, of my two sons, she loved them both dearly, but seemed to have a special bond with my youngest, who was kind of a problem child, always in trouble at school, despite my every effort. I was so worried about him, spending many sleepless nights wondering what my next step would be with him, in order to keep him from going to prison some day. Anyway, about a month after Noni died, she appeared at my bedside (in a dream), grabbed my hand and held it and I felt such love from her. All she said was, "Zach is going to be okay. Don't worry about him. I'll take care of him. Zach is going to be just fine!" I woke up worried at first, thinking maybe something was about to happen to Zach, and that she meant she was going to take care of him after he passed over. I was totally freaked out, and then a very peaceful feeling came over me, and I realized that she meant she was watching over him for me. From that very day on, my little Zach completely changed. No more trouble at school. His attitude at home did a complete turnabout, and now, at 21, he is a DREAM son. I never told him about Noni's visit.

I could go on and on about other little messages I've received from her and my dad, but this is getting way too long.

But, to the OP, bless your heart, because I know exactly how you feel. I don't think you ever stop missing someone you love so deeply. The thing that makes me pull myself out of the dumps when I'm missing them so much is to know that I'm probably making them sad by seeing ME being so sad. I know that sounds crazy, but I'm pretty crazy, anyway. haha!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

To the OP, I'm sorry about your nana. I know what you mean. My son's have been gone 5 years and one year, respectively. I miss them so, so much. Sometimes I'll really sit down and look at their pictures, and it just kills me. We still have all their furniture and some of their clothing and personal things like stuffies or pacifiers, we keep them in a chest. Every now and then I'll open the chest and touch everything, some of the clothing still smells like them. Sometimes the grief hits me out of nowhere, like I'll be at the grocery store and see a mom with a special needs child, and the tears just flow. I'm glad that I still have these feelings though, because if I didn't, it would be like I've forgotten them.

 

[binny]

I think this is all happening because the baby is turning one on Sunday and I found out I was pregnant right after Nana's funeral. I knew immediately I was having a girl as Nana always loved girls. Caroline was born on June 11th - same day as my aunt (one of Nana's children). I was recently walking around the house carrying Caroline and we were looking at pictures. I have a picture of Nana and Grandpa in my living room and the baby pointed to it and said, "Na-na". I swear, no one has ever told her who was in that picture or what their names are. It made me cry happy tears because I knew Nana had been involved with my Caroline. Anyway, I often talk to Nana throughout my day in my thoughts and I often think, "I wish I could tell Nana..." Maybe I was thinking about her more than usual and she came to give me a hug? Who knows... All I know is I love her so much, and I miss her.

I wish you all peace and comfort in your losses. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories. I hope one day someone talks about us with as much love!

This happened to me too. My dad passed right before our weddings so none of our children got to meet him. I have always been sad that they missed out on knowing him. He was a great man and a wonderful father!

One day I had Kaylee in my arms and we walked past a picture of my dad she " Pa Pa!" I asked her to repeat it and she said it again. I said " Where does Pa Pa live?" thinking maybe she had gotten him confused with FIL who lives in Canada, and she looked at me like I had lost my head and said " Heaven" and then got down and played.

No one had talked to her about that. It really made me cry. I just couldnt believe it. I know he is around. I can feel him sometimes. I know he was my angel in a car accident. I hit black ice once in a lot of traffic. I didnt know what to do I just prayed as quickly as I could. I felt someone take the wheel, then I smelled him. He always wore Old Spice the wheel turned and I wound up facing traffic on the side of the road safely into a snowbank. No one was hurt and the only damage to my car was a bent lisence plate holder. The cop that was on scene ( on another accident across the street) came over and said " How did you do that????"

No one will ever convince it wasnt him. I know it was.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

This reminds me of my DD when she was little. She had two imaginary friends: Asa and Wacoon. MY DH's grandma always said she wanted to see us have a great grandchild before she left this world ('cause we were not in a hurry at first, to her dismay - then when we were ready things did not go well). She passed the week before our DD was born and we could not make funeral because I was too nervous to go that far away at the time. She did not care to go by her first name and went by Louisa...and I believe this is my DD's "Asa". I think "wacoon" was probably my dad...he was always referring to himself as "wacky this or crazy/silly that" - especially to kids. I tjust "sounds" like him. Asa was the steady friend who played dolls and all, while "wacoon" was responsible for all the craziness - and that fits. ....She used to say things to us that no toddler could be aware of and we would be "where did that come from!?"....I have a feeling I know .....

my SIL is VERY receptive to these things and has had a ton of experiences - and her DD was much the same way when she was little, including being psychic and seeing things coming...anyway, my DH's dad has made himself known to her, so I think he may have also been there for my DD as well...

I hope they are with her still and guiding her.....

 

[CJK]

OP - Hugs to you, and thank you for posting this thread. I certainly empathize with you. You obviously had a very special relationship with your loved one. I lost my grandfather (aka Poppa) 5yrs ago and I still get sad when I think of his death. I haven't had a "visiting" dream that I can remember, but shortly after his death I had a strange dream. He was on the roof of a house and was telling us (we were all on the ground), that he was going to jump off and would be absolutely fine. I was cross with him and kept telling him not to jump. Any thoughts on what that dream means??? Poppa and I were very, very close and shared an unspoken bond.

Now that I think about it, I guess there has been a sort of visiting occasion. We were helping my Nana move into her new apartment, when my sister and I went outside for a minute. We heard a harmonica being played, but didn't know where it was coming from. My poppa was famous for his harmonica playing... I like to think it was him telling us that he was there and was happy that the family was supporting my Nana.

It does get easier, but every now and then, it's as if I remember his death all over again and I go through the grieving process again. He'll always be in my heart.

Now that I think about it, if anyone can interpret my roof dream above, I'd be very grateful. Hugs to everyone remembering their loved ones.

 

[Sherri]

Hi All-

The last day or two have been a little out of the ordinary for me. My grandmother passed away about a year and half ago (10/05/04). Two nights ago I had a dream with her in it. In my dream I knew she was gone but we were talking. I told her how much I missed her and how much it hurt that she never met my baby. She told me she knew and we hugged and I could smell the "Nana" smell - a combination of her shampoo, perfume, and mothballs . It was as real as if she were standing next to me. When I woke up I felt great! I spent all day yesterday deciding if it were a dream or if it really happened while I was sleeping (I believe in angels). Anyway, now I miss her as much as the day she died. I just cannot get over her loss.

Anyone have any advice or experience?

I miss my grandfather so much to. I had a dream of him in October. He had two scratch off lottery tickets and he was was saying "look Sher, I have a ticket for you and one for you sister". He scratched it off and said "look you won". All I kept saying in my dream was how much I missed him and all he kept talking about was the ticket. It was so strange. When I woke up I felt so happy that I got to see him in my dream. For fun I bought a scratch off ticket and won $1000.00. I felt happy and sad all at once, because I would rather have him here then the money.
Anyway, today I was at the hospital for xrays (for dd) and there was a man in the waiting room that dressed just like my Pop-Pop. I felt like crying because I miss him so much. Anyway the guy was really funny and chatty and in a way it gave me sense of peace, but it also made me miss my grandfather more.

 

[mrsltg]

Thanks to all of you who have added your wonderful stories to this thread. I believe that life does not end when you stop breathing and I'm so glad to see so many others who feel the same. It's good to know our special relationships remain, even during these "temporary" breaks.

Thanks again! I am feeling much better - still missing Nana - but much better just the same.