Do you ever let your kids take a friend?

[IrishNYC]

Without reading anything other than the OP, I can confidently say no, my child will never be bringing a friend with us to Disney. If I had money to bring another child...well, I still wouldn't be spending it on another child.

Conversely, I would also be saying no if my child was asked to go with a friend and their family. We don't have the extra budget for plane fare and other Disney related expenses, and even if we did, I'd still be the mean mom that said no.

 

[StirlingSilver83]

I have not reached this age with my kids yet...but if my older DS wanted to bring a friend along I think I would allow that...although we drive to Disney so we don't have to worry about the plane ticket. I think if my DS friends parents said he could go I would want them to pay something towards their kid. More than likely have them pay for their kids portion of the dining plan and I think we would pay the rest...plus send money along for their kid to get some sort of souvineers. I would pay park tickets and room rate though

 

[GusGus77]

Our school's aren't bad at all for missing time. We've done it every other year since 1st grade. I asked my daughter before booking if SHE was OK missing 4 days in week 3 of her 1st year of HS. I let her decide since she's a most straight A student. She was comfortable with it since the 1st month is a lot of review. But, as for the the friend and her parents...no clue. That's a big factor.

The other big factor - she has 2 BFF's. I don't know which she'd choose. One is wealthier and more like to be able to afford it but parents are less likely to let her miss school - the other not as wealthy and maybe more likely to let her miss. Super confusing!

If she has 2 BFFs, I would be concerned that inviting one and not the other would cause A LOT of drama....

 

[JimmyV]

I too have only read the OP. We did it when our daughter, (an "only") was the exact same age. Our family of 3 became a group of 4 so it was no big deal size-wise. It was a great decision and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Her friend's dad worked for Disney Corp. (ESPN) and believe it or not, at age 14 she had never stepped foot in a Disney park and she was (or thought she was) a ride chicken. By the end of the trip she was all "RnR and ToT over and over again". I felt like a proud second papa. As for finances, her parents paid her airfare and her dad got us several days worth of ESPN park hopper passes so we didn't foot that bill. Adding her to our Contemporary reservation cost us nothing, going from a 3 to a 4. We paid for all her food as fair compensation for keeping our daughter company. She had cash for souvenirs. It was a great trip and helped us bond for life. She still calls me her second dad.

 

[senadler]

I do see the "family bonding" point. My 14yr old is just annoyed at being with any of us at any time...that is kind of why it even came up. I don't want her to be annoyed, with a chip on her shoulder the whole time and then put a damper the trip for everyone. Which is somewhat how she was our last family vacation.

I can completely relate to this. My kids are further apart in age than yours, my daughter is also 14, but my two sons are 11 and 5. They just don't have much in common, so we started bringing a friend on our Disney trips for my daughter 2 years ago. We have done two trips with two different friends. It actually worked out great. We still spend some time together, mostly for meals, but the girls were able to go off on their own too. I can't comment on the finances, I think that depends on the situation, but I would not hesitate to bring your daughters friend.

 

[RedAngie]

Not no way. Not no how.

For a day trip to somewhere relatively local, sure. We brought DD's friends with us to DL when we lived in L.A. And DDs went with friends and their parents.

For an overnight or weekend trip, possibly. But for a week's vacation, not a chance. Has nothing to do with finances. I just don't want to be responsible for someone else's child, nor do I want another parent responsible for mine. If both families arranged a trip together, I'd be open to that.

 

[gtpoohbear]

If she has 2 BFFs, I would be concerned that inviting one and not the other would cause A LOT of drama....

I was thinking the same thing. If they both consider themselves "equal" best friends, there's no way this will end well. Jealousy, hurt feelings, guilt, etc. Unless you bring both, lol!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

When I was growing up, I was best friends with an only child. Her family took me for a long weekend to Hershey Park. The trip didn't include airfare, only tickets, food and extras.

They paid for all of it. I remember my mom sending me with some money. And I remember my friend's mom telling me to return it to my mom.

I had a great time. And they took me a number of short close to home trips, after that. We always had fun. But I think friendships were different then.

My son is also an only child. We've done a few short adventures with a friend. Rarely has it worked out. There seems to be way too much drama nowadays. With boys and girls.

 

[Disney_1derland]

We are considering taking oldest dd's bff on our upcoming trip. We would ask her mom to cover her park ticket and spending money. We would cover everything else (we drive).

Our situation is maybe a little different. oldest DD needs the distraction of a friend to help her deal with a medical issue that prevents her from enjoying the parks as much as she used to. We hope the support of her friend will bring back the joy for all of us and we are confident there will not be drama issues.

We would then reciprocate on future trips for the other two kids to take friends, because this is likely our last trip with oldest dd before college. Also, it helps that we consider her bff just another of our kids, she's someone we know very well and is part of our daily lives and everyone is comfortable having her around 24/7.

 

[TinkFan74]

My daughter is an only child and I have taken several of her friends on vacation with us, To Aulani, to WDW for her sweet 16, and last year to WDW. This year I am bringing three of her friends for their graduation celebration for 12 days. I am a DVC member, so I had to rebook our rooms to studios that sleep 5 as the third friend was invited later, luckily I was able to cobble reservations together. I have never had any issues bringing friends on vacation, and this way I can have some alone time and not feel guilty about it. My daughter's friends are responsible for their food money and spending money, I will pay for the rest as my daughter's friend's parents do not have a lot of money, and if I didn't take them they would never get a vacation. I have never had any regrets.

 

[DisneyFirstTimer10]

My daughter is an only child and I have taken several of her friends on vacation with us, To Aulani, to WDW for her sweet 16, and last year to WDW. This year I am bringing three of her friends for their graduation celebration for 12 days. I am a DVC member, so I had to rebook our rooms to studios that sleep 5 as the third friend was invited later, luckily I was able to cobble reservations together. I have never had any issues bringing friends on vacation, and this way I can have some alone time and not feel guilty about it. My daughter's friends are responsible for their food money and spending money, I will pay for the rest as my daughter's friend's parents do not have a lot of money, and if I didn't take them they would never get a vacation. I have never had any regrets.

Yep. We bought into DVC last year and though our kids are a bit young we will eventually invite my ds and dd's friends along to spend a week with us. We will probably ease into it by inviting cousins first, then friends.

 

[drp4video]

My daughter is an only child and my husband passed away when she just turned 11. Between the ages of 14 and 17 she always took a friend. It was a different friend each time and I had a great time as well. The friend paid for their air fare and park admission, and about $200 for their food. Trips were always at least a week so I paid the difference in food, and paid for table service once or twice. I of course paid for the room and there was no extra cost for the friend. I think my daughter had a better time. But magically, when she turned 18 she no longer wanted to bring a friend because she had such a great time with just me.

 

[zaccaglin]

My grandparents allowed my mom to do it a handful, of times to both WDW and DLR. Then again she was an only child. A few years back they took 13+ of us on a Disney trip, including our half siblings and their parents. Grandpa always says they've "dopted" many over the years, and he can't take the money he's saved with him when he's gone.

 

[blestmom]

We did! It was a trip with me and my 5 kids (at the time ages 14, 12, 10, 7 and 5). DH did not come with us on that trip so it was just me and the kids. The two oldest boys brought their good friend (also 14) along for the trip. We took care of the lodging costs, but he paid for his own plane ticket (his mom used airline miles for him) and he paid for his own park tickets. He also brought some spending money for food, but we often just picked up the tab. This friend is almost like another kid in our family, so it really was nice to bring him along. The kids all had a great time. He still has very fond memories of the fun. His mom was grateful that we took him as she said its just not something that she would do and she is glad that he got the experience.

 

[TXStormtrooper]

The other big factor - she has 2 BFF's. I don't know which she'd choose. One is wealthier and more like to be able to afford it but parents are less likely to let her miss school - the other not as wealthy and maybe more likely to let her miss. Super confusing!

As a couple other people have commented, I think perhaps the biggest issue is the long term effect on your daughter's friendship with the best friend who didn't get invited. There is no way that is going to go over well, and I would hate to damage that friendship.

 

[mom2rtk]

Our school's aren't bad at all for missing time. We've done it every other year since 1st grade. I asked my daughter before booking if SHE was OK missing 4 days in week 3 of her 1st year of HS. I let her decide since she's a most straight A student. She was comfortable with it since the 1st month is a lot of review. But, as for the the friend and her parents...no clue. That's a big factor.

The other big factor - she has 2 BFF's. I don't know which she'd choose. One is wealthier and more like to be able to afford it but parents are less likely to let her miss school - the other not as wealthy and maybe more likely to let her miss. Super confusing!

No way would I do it under these circumstances. Friendships are so important heading into high school.

And just don't even go there (taking family's financial status into account). That's a minefield you would never dig your way out of.

 

[Jadyreen1282]

If you can't enjoy a family vacation without bringing in outside help then...well I don't know what to say. And that's rare.

 

[mom2rtk]

If you can't enjoy a family vacation without bringing in outside help then...well I don't know what to say. And that's rare.

I don't think the OP said they wouldn't enjoy the trip without a friend.

 

[amylevan]

My kids are not yet at the age where I have considered it, but I have been the kid brought along. During the summer after 9th grade, I spent 2 weeks in Florida with my BFF, her dad and younger sister. Her parents were divorced and the dad figured an extra friend would solve the 3 person rider problem on two seat rides, plus keep his teenage daughter happy. We did everything - WDW, US, Sea World, Busch Gardens, and a trip to the beach. I have some wonderful memories from that trip.

I do not remember what exactly my parents paid for, but I know they at least bought my plane tickets and I paid for all non-TS food. We stayed in a time share, so had no lodging costs. I vaguely remember buying my Sea World ticket at the park, so I'm guessing my parents bought my tickets to the various parks, but I really can't say for sure. And yes, this was 1994, but all of those entrance fees had to have racked up a nice price tag.

 

[JimmyV]

If you can't enjoy a family vacation without bringing in outside help then...well I don't know what to say. And that's rare.

Do you celebrate your child's birthday as just your immediate family or do you ever invite friends or relatives to join in? Are all of your holiday meals attended by just your immediate family or do you ever involve other people? 99% of our vacations are just our small family of three. But on the few occasions that we brought along one of our daughter's friends, it worked out great. I don't see at all where the word "can't" fits in to any of this. It's about heightening enjoyment as opposed to being the only way to create enjoyment.