becka
<font color=green>Proud Mommy of sweet Nathan and
- Joined
- Aug 17, 1999
- Messages
- 13,852
I am sure there are some of you here who can relate. Today is (once again) day 1 for me. I have been down this road a number of times and while today I am 20 pounds heavier than I was last October I am at least still 40+ pounds lighter than I was this time last year. I have not quite yet dug a bigger hole than I was in before but I made a good start. 
I guess I have just become so disillusioned. I have proven over and over that I can lose 40-50 pounds only to let myself slip over something stupid and undo all of that hard work. It is amazing how fast you can put 20 pounds on and so demoralizing to know that it takes 2-3 months or more of really hard work to take it off. Why do I do this to myself? I know I have issues (we all have issues) but I just am having trouble convincing myself that I won't do the same thing yet again and be posting this same thing again in 9 months or a year. I already feel tired and I know that is a bad feeling for Day 1. I have all the reasons in the world to do this for myself (health, family, pride, looks, etc.) but I can't seem to make my motivation last more than 4-6 months or so before I start that downward slide. I see the pattern and I don't know how to break it.
I have considered trying to get some counseling to help me this time but I don't know where to start. My "free" time is so limited and things are so busy it would be hard to find the time and the $$. I have been a member of WW several times before but I did the same thing I do on my own (lose 40-50 pounds then slide backward) so I don't think the group support thing is enough. I have tried to be accountable to a friend but that only works for so many months as well. Has anyone else been here before? Any words of advice or wisdom for me?
I really want this to be the last Day 1 I ever have to have.

I guess I have just become so disillusioned. I have proven over and over that I can lose 40-50 pounds only to let myself slip over something stupid and undo all of that hard work. It is amazing how fast you can put 20 pounds on and so demoralizing to know that it takes 2-3 months or more of really hard work to take it off. Why do I do this to myself? I know I have issues (we all have issues) but I just am having trouble convincing myself that I won't do the same thing yet again and be posting this same thing again in 9 months or a year. I already feel tired and I know that is a bad feeling for Day 1. I have all the reasons in the world to do this for myself (health, family, pride, looks, etc.) but I can't seem to make my motivation last more than 4-6 months or so before I start that downward slide. I see the pattern and I don't know how to break it.
I have considered trying to get some counseling to help me this time but I don't know where to start. My "free" time is so limited and things are so busy it would be hard to find the time and the $$. I have been a member of WW several times before but I did the same thing I do on my own (lose 40-50 pounds then slide backward) so I don't think the group support thing is enough. I have tried to be accountable to a friend but that only works for so many months as well. Has anyone else been here before? Any words of advice or wisdom for me?
I really want this to be the last Day 1 I ever have to have.