Do you consider visiting family to be a vacation?

[worm761]

I do not consider going home to visit to be a real vacation. All we do is sit at someones house and chat. I can do that at home. My family is in Ohio and his is in New York. We are in Florida. His mother and I don't like each other so I really, really don't consider visiting her to be a vacation for me. These trips are not fun. They cost a fortune and neither one of us really like to go. We go since he feels an obligation to go visit his mother. If we are traveling past my family, I feel we should stop and see them. My father lives with me in Florida so it is just siblings, cousins and one uncle all on my mother's side in Ohio. My father's family lives around me.

I just got a text basically saying that Boyfriend doesn't love his family because we are going to Disney in October for his birthday and not to see her. We were up there last July and she was here in April. The only reason she even wants him to visit is because we have a DD. She doesn't care to see him, myself or my son. She has repeatedly made the comment that me, my son, and my family don't matter to my daughter or in my daughters life. See why I don't like her? So it got me thinking since this came about because she went to my Facebook page (I know but she is not my FB friend at ALL) and read something that I wrote to someone else about how this will be our first real vacation in three years. I really really hate drama unless it is on Big Brother, then I love it!

 

[marie1203]

No I do not consider visiting family a real vacation. Most time it is out of obligation that people got visit their family.

 

[momto2girls]

No way! I consider taking a vacation and visiting family to be two completely separate things.

 

[wishesuponastar]

Well, it depends, if we are going to visit family and we don't have money to do anything else then that's our vacation. I have done that in the past when I went to see my parents in Florida with my kids. I didn't have any money to go to Disney or any place really so just hanging out with parents was it. Well, we did go to downtown Disney and that was free except for food and pretty neat to go there!

OP- sorry your MIL said not so nice things to you

 

[disykat]

I do consider visiting family a "vacation." I also consider staying home and relaxing a "vacation." Vacation to me means time off work and out of the normal routine. However, I can easily see myself referring to a big trip as a "real vacation" and being obvious about really looking forward to it more. I definitely consider traveling just for fun to be a whole different level of vacation.

IMO, anyone who doesn't get the difference just doesn't get it. Most normal people would see it.

When our kids were tiny, we had quite a few years where our only vacation was visiting family. Everyone in both our families was happy for us when we started being able to take other trips, even though it was a bit of a new concept for his family (his parents have NEVER travellled anywhere that wasn't to see family.)

 

[Fintastic]

Yes and no. Yes because I have to use vacation time to do it, but no because it's usually an obligation and I'd rather go somewhere else "fun"!

 

[trip]

Go to disney and lock down your facebook so only friends can read it!

 

[GinnyEmma]

Absolutely. Family is a vacation. That doesn't mean that you can't take another vacation.

 

[worm761]

Well, it depends, if we are going to visit family and we don't have money to do anything else then that's our vacation. I have done that in the past when I went to see my parents in Florida with my kids. I didn't have any money to go to Disney or any place really so just hanging out with parents was it. Well, we did go to downtown Disney and that was free except for food and pretty neat to go there!

OP- sorry your MIL said not so nice things to you

Thank you. She has been like this for a while. She likes to control things and I don't like to be controlled so we butt heads. I let Boyfriend handle her since it is best all around. I know that the wedding will be tons of fun if we end up having one. Don't know since my sister is sick and we may be inheriting her daughter.

Anyway, normally, we would have visited this year. We were not supposed to go on a vacation at all this year since we decided to pay off his alimony with our vacation funds instead. It was worth no vacation to get rid of his ex. I am paying for this vacation out of MY money, not household money. I work at ChaCha for some fun money and that is what is paying for it.

 

[SC Minnie]

Visiting family is an OBLIGATION not a VACATION.

When we do family reunions with DH's family he considers them vacations. I don't. It's not a relaxing, fun time for me.

 

[spacemountainmom]

no, No, and NO!!!

DH's parents moved away 12 years ago. We used to visit them once or twice a year. They moved even further away about four years ago and we have yet to visit them. It's just too far to drive and flying is not feasible. Dh's vacation time is so precious that we don't waste it going to visit.

I have some issues with my mil mostly about the way she treats my dh and kids. They are all second class citizens compared to dh's sister and niece.

It is also hard to feel like you welcome when you arrive and they can't wait to send you off somewhere. They don't go anywhere with us, but tell us what to go see. This pretty much happened every time we visited. The kicker is....dh's cousin and her family visited my mil and fil about a month ago. We then got treated to the lovely facebook pictorial of my mil and fil taking cousin's family to all the tourist places. My kids were not real thrilled to see that. It would be worse except for the fact that my kids figured out where they rate some time ago. I'm sure their feelings were still hurt.

So....no, I don't consider visiting family a vacation. It is something that must be endured.

 

[worm761]

Go to disney and lock down your facebook so only friends can read it!

I have it so friends of friends can see my page so that other relatives that I am not FB friends with can still see the pics posted of the kids. His father, aunts, cousins, grandmas all like the pics but don't need to be my friend. In all the years I have had FB, it has never been a problem.
And we are going to Disney regardless of what she thinks. Boyfriend requested this for his birthday and I have busted my butt, cut off all my extras and saved to make sure he doesn't have to pay for his own birthday.

 

[DisneyScraps]

The kind of visit you are describing is an obligation not a vacation. To me a vacation is FUN and not a grind your teeth and smile type of situation.

 

[SC Minnie]

I have it so friends of friends can see my page so that other relatives that I am not FB friends with can still see the pics posted of the kids. His father, aunts, cousins, grandmas all like the pics but don't need to be my friend. In all the years I have had FB, it has never been a problem.
And we are going to Disney regardless of what she thinks. Boyfriend requested this for his birthday and I have busted my butt, cut off all my extras and saved to make sure he doesn't have to pay for his own birthday.

You can change your setting to allow friends of friends to see your photos but only friends to see your wall.

If she has a problem with where you are going tell her to talk to her son. That's what I always did if MIL had a problem with a decision DH and I made.

 

[Reddy]

why don't you block her?? it would mean that you couldn't see her page either

 

[JessicaR]

It depends on if I like the family were visiting. When I was a kid we visited my grandparents in Florida every summer and that WAS a vacation! What you describe is not.

I'm glad you have a FUN vacation planned and hope you all enjoy it immensely!

 

[TheIncredibles!]

The only family that is not local is my dad and I absolutely consider it a vacation He lives in the Lake Champlain Islands, has over 550 feet of waterfront with a dock, pool, game room and even a playground and bouncehouse for the grandkids. It's one step away from being at a resort but better because we get to see my dad

 

[worm761]

why don't you block her?? it would mean that you couldn't see her page either

How do you block someone you aren't friends with?

 

[sue and co]

It depends - when the kids were little and we had no money going to visit my favourite aunt at the beach was definitely a vacation. Going to visit family we didn't especially get on with and having to spend money we didn't want to doing it would not be a vacation at all - rather an obligation. In your case ignore her and go have a good time at Disney.

 

[lillygator]

no way! visiting family is no vacation!!