Do you celebrate graduations from grade school?

[neatokimmo]

I agree. It's like giving someone a trophy for breathing.

I agree.

What did the bad guy say in the Incredibles? Something about when everyone is super then no one is? Celebrating small stuff like this really takes away from real events.

 

[vicki_c]

Just understand, it's not a small event to EVERYONE.

We're not really doing anything than going out to breakfast and letting our son spend his own money at Barnes & Noble (as I posted above), and I am in 100% agreement on the whole "everyone gets a trophy" thing being way over the top (one of my usual pet peeves), BUT ... there were times this year that we were unsure that my son was going to even make it out of the 5th grade without repeating the year. So even though we're not making much out of it at all, it is still kind of a big deal for us. We just don't feel the need to spend money to acknowledge our son's accomplishments.

There are lots of reasons that an individual family might consider it a big deal and if you don't know those reasons, you can't really lump everyone together.

We spend a lot of time telling our kids that they're not any more special than anyone else, so I do know where people are coming from. But it's not like giving an award for breathing for everyone.

 

[Colleen27]

Our 5th graders get a farewell party at the school, with a bounce house and open gym and pizza and dancing. As party favors, they each got a "class of '17" shirt and school-logo lanyard they can use for their middle school ID in the fall, along with some coupons donated by local businesses (free popcorn at the local theatre, free personal pizza from Hungry Howies, free slushie from the corner gas station, etc.). We're not doing anything special on top of what the school did.

 

[AZMermaid]

I won't. The kids get a party at school and an awards ceremony. Maybe I'll take him to dinner or a movie or something.

My mom refused to let me send out HS announcements or have any sort of party because she didn't want people to think "I was done" and said graduating HS is expected, not something to celebrate. She is sort of extreme though.

 

[ChickieToo]

Our town starts middle school in 5th grade, so DD stated a new school this year. The elementary school PTO hosted a 4th grade farewell picnic in June, and a friend of hers had a sleepover with some friends on the last day. The middle school had a welcome/orientation BBQ a week before school actually started where they got to walk around and see their new homerooms and lockers and so forth. So no, we didn't do anything really but tell her to get started on her summer reading and math packet, lol!

I do think some of this stuff gets to be a little much. Even children who need special help should be "expected" to move up in school. I know if it is a struggle it is all the sweeter, but celebrating every little thing that is the bare minimum doesn't do anyone any favors. (Before you flame me, I understand the struggles some kids have---my 18 year old autistic niece graduated high school this week and we are going to her party this weekend, but I didn't go to a 5th or 6th or 8th grade graduation party for her because she was expected to graduate those grades)

And To paraphrase comedian Chris Rock from one of stand-up HBO specials "...You're supposed to graduate 5th grade you low-expectation-having $%&!..." Of course, that is a joke and I don't mean to be harsh, but the essence is important: we don't make a big deal about completing the things you are required to do.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

We only celebrate graduations from college and high school...you've just "passed" on to the next grade from PreK to 12th. We don't do anything until you're actually done. They had a "graduation" ceremony for dd's preK summer camp?...I was like what?! Not everyhing has to be a celebration. If we celebrated everthing then how do kids discern between what an accomplishment is and what you're supposed to do? It's like stopping at every mile to celebrate when you're in a marathon...you don't celebrate until you're done no matter how long it takes for you to get there.

 

[allison443]

At the risk of being flamed and accused of giving my kids trophies for breathing I will say that we do celebrate 8th grade graduation. My kids attended a private school for grades K to 8th. There are 53 kids in the graduating class, and they are attending 9 different high schools (some Catholic, some private, some public) next year after being together for nine years. They had a graduation Mass and ceremony with caps and gowns. We are having a family bbq next weekend (grandparents, aunts and uncles- about 20 people which is not a big deal for us) and some of the kids had parties for the whole class (nothing elaborate-a backyard bbq, pool party at the local swim club). Most of our friends have family parties as well.

We of course expect our kids to graduate 8th grade, we also expect them to graduate high school and college, and we have parties for those as well. So far all has gone according to plan! It's not a matter of recognizing an "accomplishment", more like marking a milestone in our kid's life. I don't get why people don't understand that, even if it is not the custom in your area or something you would do. I expect my kids to survive another year but I still celebrate their birthdays!

Way back in the 70s when I graduated Catholic grammar school, we had cap and gowns and everyone had parties! It certainly didn't discourage my siblings or me, every one of us went right to college after high school, then right on to graduate school. My parents really valued/encouraged education and that was much more of a factor than whether they gave us a party for 8th grade graduation!

 

[littlele]

Last year when DD 'graduated' from grade school we used it as an excuse to have a backyard campout with her girlfriends. They really seemed to enjoy it and it was not a lot of work. Just a barbecue, set up the tent and play and some games, etc.

Go ahead, accuse me of over celebrating, but I don't care! I know she works very hard during the school year and I have no problem acknowledging it. And goodness (!) we are those same people who are happy to have a family barbecue after dance recitals and go out for a nice dinner after a straight A report card, etc. We are happy to have an excuse to have a gathering, dinner, etc. Oh and to make matters worse, I even give little gifts at the end of the school year, every year. This year we are going for pedicures as an end of year treat.

 

[allison443]

Last year when DD 'graduated' from grade school we used it as an excuse to have a backyard campout with her girlfriends. They really seemed to enjoy it and it was not a lot of work. Just a barbecue, set up the tent and play and some games, etc.

Go ahead, accuse me of over celebrating, but I don't care! I know she works very hard during the school year and I have no problem acknowledging it. And goodness (!) we are those same people who are happy to have a family barbecue after dance recitals and go out for a nice dinner after a straight A report card, etc. We are happy to have an excuse to have a gathering, dinner, etc. Oh and to make matters worse, I even give little gifts at the end of the school year, every year. This year we are going for pedicures as an end of year treat.

That backyard campout sounds fun! My dd and her friends would enjoy something like that!

 

[MoniqueU]

My youngest DD just graduated from 6th. It was at 8 30 in the morning then you could take them home. My DH had to be at work before lunchtime so we went out to IHOP and most of the school was there too. I have always gotten my kids gifts for graduation and gone out to eat. I will NOT be having a high school graduation party for any of them I don't think. Everyone under the sun will be having one and we don't have alot of close family to invite. We will just go out for a nice dinner.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My son just finished 5th grade and his school had a promotion ceremony that was really just an assembly during school hours. The 5th graders stood on the steps of the auditorium and sang songs they'd learned during 5th grade science camp. They took turns reading little stories they'd written about elementary school and the teachers. Then, a few 6th graders came up and gave them advice about middle school. Our school is a K-8 so most of the 5th graders will be staying but just moving to a different part of the school. After the assembly, each class had a party with pizza and cake. The 8th graders had an evening graduation ceremony that was a much bigger deal, as it should be.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Our school has a moving on ceremony for the 5th graders, then they have a Pizza lunch and cake for just the 5th graders for lunch. That evening we are taking DD to Toy Story 3 and out to dinner at her favorite restaurant, but both of these we might have done anyway.

 

[GeraldineW]

We celebrate! We don't feel the need to spend a lot of money or seek out presents but just as we like to get praise and annual bonuses at work, we praise and acknowledge the work our kids have done each school year. We like to encourage their learning. When there is passing to the next grade but no "graduation" we present a small gift - it could be something from the dollar store or it could be something we think would be good for them. Last year we spent a little more my son got a bean table and my daughter got a huge Care Bear, both were bought from craigslist so were not too costly. This year my DD graduated Kindergarten. The school had a very nice ceremony and reception. My mom gave my DD her first piece of real jewelry, a necklace with a heart pendant. We gave her some chapter books purchased at Barnes and Noble to kick off her summer reading - this is a big deal for us because we generally use the library and do not buy books. We also went out to dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse to celebrate the graduation. Those were her gifts. Today we had friends over for brunch - it was not a "graduation" brunch -- it was a spring, school is over, lets get together brunch. We had "won" at the school auction 1 hour of piano playing by a teacher at a party, so this was our party and the teacher came and played piano for an hour - the kids and guests enjoyed it. Two friends unexpectedly gave DD small gifts - a pencil box with crayons, pencils, stencils, and a small puzzle.

 

[bucket o' butter]

Heck no! If we celebrated every little thing that the school, other parents, and The Dis Boards thought we should then our kids would grow up expecting a celebration for everything! We celebrate graduation from high school & that's it. Around here everyone wants a party for pre-school graduation, kindergarten graduation, grade school graduation, middle school graduation, post-dance recital, pre-soccer tournament party, etc. Seriously? These kids are going to grow up & go "where's my party - it's my 1-year anniversary at work" or "where's my gifts, I just completed XYZ." Personally I think it's out of hand what is considered the norm for parites & celebrations, around here anyway. I agree with the others that said pick a friend & do something fun, bake a cake for the person or go out to eat. In our family sometimes those small celebrations mean way more than a blow out party with gifts.

I completely agree with you. But, I have to admit that I, myself, have fallen trap to the parties. Not as bad as some of my friends, but certainly more than people did in the past! As a child growing up, I remember having maybe 3 childhood birthday parties (and they were just friends coming over for cake an ice cream). For my 16th birthday, I went out to a "fancy" restaurant with my family and on my 18th birthday my mom took me and a few friends to Pizza Hut. My parents had money to spend on parties if they chose to do so, it just wasn't done that much back in the 70's / 80's. LOL! I have to admit that my own children have had a birthday party for every birthday until they turned 13. Some were quite expensive (Chuck E. Cheese, swimming, horseback riding, etc) I wish I had never started that, but I was playing "keep up with the Jones" with my friends and my children's school mates. We have never celebrated any kind of school graduation. We will when they graduate high school, but that's all. I am not criticizing any parent who chooses to do so, but I agree with the above poster that our children are going to grow up wanting rewarded for everything. That is the main reason I have decided to stop all big parties when they turn 13. I feel they need to understand that they aren't going to get attention for every milestone they encounter along the way. I hope I haven't offended anyone with what I have said. That was not my intention. But I feel that many people are going overboard with childhood parties. I am amazed at the money that is spent on girls "Sweet 16" parties! I have already told DD14 that is not going to happen! LOL!

 

[ForAandA]

When DD#1 graduated 5th grade last year, the school went all out. The graduation trip was to a local amusment park. The party was an evening dance, from 5 pm-8pm. I was very surprised by what some of the girls wore! Full gowns, their hair done, and heels! DD went half with me on a cute dress from JC Penney (that we got for $19.99!).

DD wore her Easter dress for the graduation. We bought her a corsage, and took her to lunch. Getting a corsage is a tradition in our family. I love them, and they cost about $5.00. I was once agan surprised that the same girls that went all decked out to the "prom" had NEW dresses, shoes, and hair done again, for a 9 am ceromony!

DH's cousin and wife have a son the same age as my DD. They grew up together. They also try to be the "Jones' " and do everything big and bad. They had a HUGE party for their son, including a bouncy house and a DJ! I'm all for doing something nice, but that was just too much.

 

[EllenFrasier]

OP here. Well so far they've gone to Six Flags, that was last week. This week they are having a picnic at the town park. Next week is the moving up ceremony. My son got invited to a pool party being put on by two sets of parents - they put at the bottom of the invite that no presents were necessary as this is a party to celebrate all of the kids hard work the past six years.

Now I have to stress out whether or not to allow him to go! That's a lot of kids for a pool party, but he is 11 and can swim. It's always something.

 

[Nettaboo]

Last year when DD 'graduated' from grade school we used it as an excuse to have a backyard campout with her girlfriends. They really seemed to enjoy it and it was not a lot of work. Just a barbecue, set up the tent and play and some games, etc.

Go ahead, accuse me of over celebrating, but I don't care! I know she works very hard during the school year and I have no problem acknowledging it. And goodness (!) we are those same people who are happy to have a family barbecue after dance recitals and go out for a nice dinner after a straight A report card, etc. We are happy to have an excuse to have a gathering, dinner, etc. Oh and to make matters worse, I even give little gifts at the end of the school year, every year. This year we are going for pedicures as an end of year treat.

This is great!!and I agree with and applaud you! It is not about givinga trophy for everything but celebrating the MILESTONES your child has worked HARD to accomplish! School in itself is not easy! And certainly much different, you may say that the kid have it easy with phones, computers and the like BUT they have way more issues to deal with then we could ever have to think about...
The gifts don't have to be big, just something to say hey you did it and i am proud of you!
I don't get why you can't celebrate a year at a job?? not saying have a big party..but buy yourslef a Starbucks..celebrations don't have to be big to be significant.
Besides all that I want my kids to feel a since of accomplishment with everything they do and all milestones they complete and I don't care what anyone thinks!!

 

[PaulaSue]

Preschool, 3rd and 5th grades have during school hours but I dont throw a party. I will for the real graduations.

 

[eliza61]

Anyone remember the movie the Incredibles. When the mom is riding Mr. Incredible about missing Dash's 4th grade graduation.


Bob: It's not a graduation. He's moving from the fourth grade to
the fifth grade.



HELEN : It's a ceremony!



BOB

It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate
mediocrity but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

That's exactly how I feel, but I'm the first to admit, I'm old. When I was in school every one expected a child to do his best, getting promoted was not an occasion to celebrate because you either got promoted or your parents ended life as you knew it.
And graduating from H.S. was not a good enough reason for your parents to buy you a car.
My reference point is waaay different.