Do you call your parents mommy and daddy?

[auntie]

52 and a Ney Yorker here. Irish/Italian. Nothing southern about us. When my siblings and I speak to one another regarding our parents..we will say "mommy said this or daddy said that". We're 52, 51, 48, and 42. When I speak directly to my mother I call her "Ma".
I called my father "Daddy" until his dying breath.

We have an auto body business that my father started some 35 years ago. Back in those early days, my dad would often be in the shop talking with an employee or reviewing a car with an insurance adjuster. We had a PA system in the ofice with a microphone on my desk, where I could call into the shop and notify him if he had a phone call on line this or that. Of course I thought nothing of saying "Daddy..you have a call on line 2". Well, the first few times I said this, my "father" got a ribbing from the guys. Especially our shop foreman. Only my father..he never asked me call him anything else. He wore that name with pride.
Funny thing was after a while..the foreman started refering to my father in the same manner when talking to me. He'd come into the office and ask "Have you seen daddy?"..
Last month this same man told my husband.."I went to daddy's grave yesterday". He knows that this is how we referred to my father. It is a sign of respect, and endearment that he uses that name. It brings us all back to simpler..happier times.

My own kids..Hey..we're New Yorkers..they call me "MA!!!!"..they call their father "Dad". One time at a BBQ in my parents back yard I gave a plate of food to my son (who was about 9 at the time) and said "here, give this to daddy". He stopped..turned around looked at me and said... "You're..father..or mine?"...I told him I meant HIS father. He replied.."Ma...YOU call you're father "daddy"..I call my father "DAD"." with that DUH!..get it right sort of look on his face.

 

[RadioNate]

When you ask for opinions, you get them. She didn't say people ARE that way she said that's what she feels. I also think that way and have to remind myself that it is a cultural thing for some people.

Every single person on earth has things they do that others don't understand. Part of being able to understand each other is the discussion of why it seems unusual to us.

To me, the terms mommy and daddy are "babytalk" so it seems strange when adults use them as if they are not. My husband uses the terms sometimes and I don't like it at all because it creeps me out. That doesn't mean I think he's a pervert, just that it bugs me because I perceive it differently than he does.

Exactly, no one is meaning to insulting anyone deceased parents or whatever. That is just ridiculous. *I* also never said I think they are perverts or that I think something fishy is going on. That, obviously doesn't mean I don't think it sounds weird.

It is the 'baby talk' factor. It's the puppy dog eyes and trying to get something from daddy. You are both adults. In my opinion, once a child reaches adulthood their becomes a more equal footing. Yes, that parent/child dynamic is still there but you are no longer dependent or subservient to your parents. You have built your own life.

Now whether or not *you* believe it to be this way is entirely subjective. But *TO ME* "daddy" carries a child-like subservient, dependent connotation which bothers me coming from independent adult women.

I never said anyone was wrong or perverted. I said *to me* it sounds wrong.

Sorry.

 

[MerMom60_94]

Another northerner with no southern roots who refers to her late father as Daddy. To me it's a term of endearment. When he was still alive I would sometimes call him Daddy and sometimes call him Dad depending upon the tone of the conversation. I didn't use the term to get anything out of him but he was elderly and very sweet and Daddy was just a loving term I used to let him know he held / holds a special place in my heart. My mom is still alive and if I am speaking to her I call her either Mama or Mom or Mommy. Again, it depends upon the tone of the conversation. I am turning 50 years old and am very much an independent woman, but that doesn't take away the affection I feel for my parents.

 

[madcam]

Exactly, no one is meaning to insulting anyone deceased parents or whatever. That is just ridiculous. *I* also never said I think they are perverts or that I think something fishy is going on. That, obviously doesn't mean I don't think it sounds weird.

It is the 'baby talk' factor. It's the puppy dog eyes and trying to get something from daddy. You are both adults. In my opinion, once a child reaches adulthood their becomes a more equal footing. Yes, that parent/child dynamic is still there but you are no longer dependent or subservient to your parents. You have built your own life.

Now whether or not *you* believe it to be this way is entirely subjective. But *TO ME* "daddy" carries a child-like subservient, dependent connotation which bothers me coming from independent adult women.

I never said anyone was wrong or perverted. I said *to me* it sounds wrong.

Sorry.

Except in the south (well at least in my family households and the ones I grew up around) it is not said as "baby talk". My mom was always "mama" and still is to this day. Unless I am annoyed with her...then it is "mother" (said with the annoyed voice). She called her mom the same thing. I call my dad "daddy". My grandfather died at 90 and every one of his grown sons and daughters called him "daddy". My DH calls both his parents "mama" and "daddy". This is said, like every thing else that comes out of his mouth, in his cajun drawl and it sounds pretty natural IMO. Do I ever say "mom" or "dad"? Sometimes. I really don't think about it. I don't address anyone with baby talk....except babies. I address all my loved ones with respect but other than that, what I call them has no baring on the dynamics of our relationships. I am 34, married, have children, own a home, and do not borrow money or accept any financial help from my parents or in-laws. In other words (your words): DH and I are not dependent or subservient to our parents. We also have equal footing and our own lives. There are tons of cultural differences in this country and among others. You stated that you don't understand it. That's ok. Judging and/or disrespecting other peoples differences may be your right but isn't very nice.

 

[FergieTCat]

I'm 49, and my mother is still "Mommy", and when he was alive, my father was "Daddy".

Also, my mother still makes me hold her hand when we walk through parking lots.

 

[auntie]

Except in the south (well at least in my family households and the ones I grew up around) it is not said as "baby talk". My mom was always "mama" and still is to this day. Unless I am annoyed with her...then it is "mother" (said with the annoyed voice). She called her mom the same thing. I call my dad "daddy". My grandfather died at 90 and every one of his grown sons and daughters called him "daddy". My DH calls both his parents "mama" and "daddy". This is said, like every thing else that comes out of his mouth, in his cajun drawl and it sounds pretty natural IMO. Do I ever say "mom" or "dad"? Sometimes. I really don't think about it. I don't address anyone with baby talk....except babies. I address all my loved ones with respect but other than that, what I call them has no baring on the dynamics of our relationships. I am 34, married, have children, own a home, and do not borrow money or accept any financial help from my parents or in-laws. In other words (your words): DH and I are not dependent or subservient to our parents. We also have equal footing and our own lives. There are tons of cultural differences in this country and among others. You stated that you don't understand it. That's ok. Judging and/or disrespecting other peoples differences may be your right but isn't very nice.

I quite agree with you. Well said.

 

[lucas]

I'm in my 50s and it is still mama and daddy - always will be. I thought it was a New Orleans thing. When I am home in NOLA, I hear men in their 70s refer to their dad as daddy.

We live in South Florida now and people definitely don't do that here. I have to watch myself so I don't say it in the workplace, etc.

 

[auntie]

I'm 49, and my mother is still "Mommy", and when he was alive, my father was "Daddy".

Also, my mother still makes me hold her hand when we walk through parking lots.

Very sweet.
I find myself doing the same these days. Funny, how it's the same familiar hand you've held all those years ago, but it's the child now carefully guiding the parent through the parking lot.

 

[auntie]

I'm in my 50s and it is still mama and daddy - always will be. I thought it was a New Orleans thing. When I am home in NOLA, I hear men in their 70s refer to their dad as daddy.

We live in South Florida now and people definitely don't do that here. I have to watch myself so I don't say it in the workplace, etc.

Don't worry about what your co-workers hear. Mama and Daddy aren't going to be around forever..and trust me, you'll wish you could say it just one more time...and you won't care who hears you.

 

[DebD4T]

As with a few other posters here...

When speaking with my sister about my parents, we address them as "mommy" and "daddy".

When speaking with anyone else about them, I refer to them as "my mother" or "my father".

When speaking to them I address them as "mom" or "dad".

For the record, I am a born and bread New Yorker.

 

[NMAmy]

It is the 'baby talk' factor. It's the puppy dog eyes and trying to get something from daddy. You are both adults. In my opinion, once a child reaches adulthood their becomes a more equal footing. Yes, that parent/child dynamic is still there but you are no longer dependent or subservient to your parents. You have built your own life.

Now whether or not *you* believe it to be this way is entirely subjective. But *TO ME* "daddy" carries a child-like subservient, dependent connotation which bothers me coming from independent adult women.

I never said anyone was wrong or perverted. I said *to me* it sounds wrong.

Sorry.

Calling your father daddy doesn't necessarily mean you're using puppy dog eyes and trying to get something out of him. My parents raised my sisters and I to be strong and independent women who didn't need a man to care for them. I guess part of that is not really caring about what other people think of the names I use for my parents.

I get that other people think it's different and I'm okay with that. Just the other day, I read some posts where folks don't tell their family members that they love them which seemed really odd to me.

Frankly, I think calling a husband/boyfriend/significant other "Daddy" in a sexy, little girl way is creepy as heck. But calling my father "Daddy" as I helped him in and out of his wheelchair in his last years of life didn't strike me as subservient or creepy but a term of endearment for someone who wasn't going to be around much longer.

 

[auntie]

Calling your father daddy doesn't necessarily mean you're using puppy dog eyes and trying to get something out of him. My parents raised my sisters and I to be strong and independent women who didn't need a man to care for them. I guess part of that is not really caring about what other people think of the names I use for my parents.

I get that other people think it's different and I'm okay with that. Just the other day, I read some posts where folks don't tell their family members that they love them which seemed really odd to me.

Frankly, I think calling a husband/boyfriend/significant other "Daddy" in a sexy, little girl way is creepy as heck. But calling my father "Daddy" as I helped him in and out of his wheelchair in his last years of life didn't strike me as subservient or creepy but a term of endearment for someone who wasn't going to be around much longer.

I have always thought exactly the same.
Kind of "icky" (for lack of a better term ) to hear that in reference to anyone but one's actual father, in the context of being just that ..your father.



_________________

 

[RadioNate]

Calling your father daddy doesn't necessarily mean you're using puppy dog eyes and trying to get something out of him. My parents raised my sisters and I to be strong and independent women who didn't need a man to care for them. I guess part of that is not really caring about what other people think of the names I use for my parents.

I get that other people think it's different and I'm okay with that. Just the other day, I read some posts where folks don't tell their family members that they love them which seemed really odd to me.

Frankly, I think calling a husband/boyfriend/significant other "Daddy" in a sexy, little girl way is creepy as heck. But calling my father "Daddy" as I helped him in and out of his wheelchair in his last years of life didn't strike me as subservient or creepy but a term of endearment for someone who wasn't going to be around much longer.

On that we agree. I think that is beyond the specter of 'weird to me' and falls into creepy. I'm not "for" that either. That is MUCH more ewwwww.

People making passing judgements on each other and life in general based on their experience, perceptions and history all the time. It just happens. Judgement isn't always malicious.

Last week or so there was the whole run around here on the word "booty" with most people saying they wouldn't use it with children. That is was odd to hear a child say it. We use it all the time, *I* prefer it to "butt." My children use it when referring to their rear ends. However, not once was a personally offended that people thought it was a sexual term that children should use. Same thing here.

At the end of the day, I really don't care what anyone calls anyone else. It is no sweat off my back. However, it was a question posed on a discussion board...so I discuss.

 

[maelstrom]

Of course I thought nothing of saying "Daddy..you have a call on line 2".

I do that at our family business too!

 

[Metsfan520]

I don't think I ever called my dad "daddy". Maybe when I was 2, but I don't remember it. he's always been Dad. I think I called my mom Mommy but not past the age of 4 or 5. She was "mom" or "ma". (ETA: born & bred New Yorker here)

 

[DSNY4ever]

No, not since I was very little. That would feel very awkward to me.

Ditto

 

[mickey7879]

I call my mom....mom.

Or Sherry if she isn't paying attention and there are a bunch of people around.

 

[Angelhalo]

On that we agree. I think that is beyond the specter of 'weird to me' and falls into creepy. I'm not "for" that either. That is MUCH more ewwwww.

People making passing judgements on each other and life in general based on their experience, perceptions and history all the time. It just happens. Judgement isn't always malicious.

Last week or so there was the whole run around here on the word "booty" with most people saying they wouldn't use it with children. That is was odd to hear a child say it. We use it all the time, *I* prefer it to "butt." My children use it when referring to their rear ends. However, not once was a personally offended that people thought it was a sexual term that children should use. Same thing here.

At the end of the day, I really don't care what anyone calls anyone else. It is no sweat off my back. However, it was a question posed on a discussion board...so I discuss.

I have to completely agree with you. I don't see what there is to be offended by. I think it is very odd for an adult to call their mom, "mommy". It's baby talk. It doesn't mean I think the person doing it is some sort of sicko, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me cringe a little bit. For those who call their mom's "mama", I see that different than mommy. It doesn't feel like it has such a childish connotation to it. Lots of folks down here in the south call their mom's "mama".

Everyone is entitled to call their parents whatever they want. But, if no one is allowed to have a different opinion about it, then I don't even see the point of discussing it.


I don't think anyone has posted anything that they specifically meant to be intentionally malicious at any point. We're all just different folks expressing opinions. You have to take everything with a grain of salt on a message board because we're all coming from completely different backgrounds and walks of life. There is no perfectly right answer to anything. So sometimes you have to just shrug things off and move on.

 

[EveDallas]

God no and it kills me to even hear people on the Dis refer to their parents that way. I always think they must have a disturbed relationship with their parents or worse!!

What on earth is wrong with mommy and daddy??

 

[Mermaid02]

I don't have a father- but I call my mother "Mum" I don't remember ever calling her Mommy... I called her Mumma when I was small.

My dd is almost 21 and sometimes calls my dh "Daddy" but mostly it's Dad.