Do they put you with similar families ?

[outahere]

We were seated with a family that had 2 young (7 and 5) daughters who also said a prayer at dinner each night. They alternated between the 2 girls and they kept it very short. out of respect, we were quiet during their prayer and it was very short (less than 30 seconds). While we were not offended, it was not something I expected the first night.

jellymoon -- if you don't get a table for just your family, perhaps your children could alternate and only one say a short prayer each night? FYI..... there were a LOT of tables for 6 people in all the dining rooms, so I would think you have a pretty good chance of being by yourselves.

 

[Talky_Tina]

Originally posted by twinmom1292
We went of a cruise (not Disney) a few years ago & sat with 2 other couples. 2 ladies that left their husbands at home (fun gals) & another couple. Well the husband was a food sniffer. He smelled everything before he put it in his mouth. And he would sometime try to get his wife to smell his food too.
Beth

Oh, Beth, this is too funny! Couldn't you just see this on a sitcom?
You would almost expect Alan Fundt to be hiding under the table with a hidden Candid Camera in the salad bowl. Thanks for sharing that one.

About meal time prayers on DCL... I agree with ducklite and some of the others. While we are religious too, I would not like to wait for someone elses meal time prayer every night (unless it was very short and silent) before starting dinner. I think this should be done elsewhere if it is your tradition.

In all honesty, I think Disney should change their group eating policy and give cruisers a choice. Those that look forward to eating with other families should still be able to do so and those that would prefer to dine with their own families or as a couple, should be able to request and receive this. If other cruiselines can pull this off, so can Disney. I think I will write to DCL about this. Maybe others who feel the same way, should also write. We enjoy meeting people as much as the next guy, but there are plenty of opportunities for this elsewhere on the ship.

TT

 

[jellymoon]

I'm sorry I offended you with my question. It was just a question, and I stated I didn't want to offend anyone at dinner. BUt surely you can see the dilemma of our custom.

And, no, itisn't a mini-revival. We're talking about things along the lines of: "Thank you for the yummy food, and the beautiful tree I saw, and all of the leaves, and my sisters, and the stars in the sky. . . . etc." For my older ds who is disabled, this is one of the only ways he's figured out how to connect his thoughts to share what has happened in his day. This is often how we find out what he did at school. Routine is essential to him, and not having it throws him off. I don't think our prayer time is offensive, nor do I think it is offensive to ask the question. This is a need our family has, and my point is that it is problematic to have group seating with strangers when you don't know if your issues mesh. Not to mention, we don't drink alcohol in front of the children, and I assume I children would potentially be exposed to that if our tablemates wished to order wine, etc. I don't think they are offensive to order the wine, it just creates an uncomfortable situation.

We HAVE requested a private table and I hope it works out. If we do not get it, we'll have to see what we can do. Probbably we won't have all four do their prayer time (and they don't stand up) but not praying at all isn't an option either.

 

[disneyholic family]

jellymoon,
now that you've explained it that way, i would do much more than just request a private table....
i would call and write DCL and tell them what you just told us (about your disabled son and wanting a private table so that you can maintain your routine....)
it's my understanding that DCL is especially understanding of special needs...

as for the alcohol.....i know what you mean....we don't shelter our kids from it, but we don't drink and they're well aware of our negative opinion related to that particular habit.....
i was actually a bit worried about how much alcohol consumption there would be on the ship......fortunately on our cruise we didn't notice any excess (although we tended to avoid those areas where there was a lot of drinking).....
and that's definitely another good reason not to eat with anyone else....

 

[Samsma]

Do they ever honor requests to put you with other non-drinking families, or Christian, or whatever other differences there may be in the world that might make others uncomfortable? By the way, I think the individual children saying prayers before dinner is a wonderful idea for whatever the reason, but the issue seems to be whether other tablemates might want to wait that long to eat. I myself wouldn't mind. Can I come on your cruise?

 

[jrabbit]

We've cruised a couple of times and if it was up to us we NEVER would have asked to sit with other people at dinner - we are pretty shy. As it turns out, we are so glad that we didn't have the option to seclude ourselves because getting to know other families at dinner has been one of the most enjoyable experiences of the cruise. By sharing a week of dinners with someone, you will have more of an opportunity to get to know them than if you just sit by them in a bar, at a show or by the pool once.

The first cruise we sat with Americans and Japanese families. Sometimes the communication was difficult, but the interaction was rewarding. Then on the last cruise we were seated at the "big" table (either for 14 or 16 - I don't remember). Most of the groups were families of 3 and we were from all across the country. It was a great experience. At meal times we shared what we did that day - everyone went there own directions. So we got a different "flavor" of the islands than what we did individually. We had so much fun that we requested a large table on our next cruise (but maybe not that big - it was hard to talk to the people at the other end - remember when Belle and the Beast had dinner - kinda like that!!

It sounds like we have been fortunate, but your attitude about it will help determine whether it works for you or not.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Jellymoon,
I've followed along the whole thread with interest and I really agree that it is not an offensive thing to do or an offensive question to ask. I also don't think that anyone who answered you was offended or intended to offend you. I believe that they were honestly answering your question from their point of view.

Alot of families have a prayer before dinner and this can't possibly be something that hasn't come up before and I was interested in the response.

I have relatives that are very religious and take the whole thing to a level that I am not comfortable with. When we dine out with them (perhaps twice a year) they do a prayer at the dinner table in the restaurant and of course out of respect to them we have to participate. This honestly makes us very uncomfortable although we are catholic, attend church, send the kids to Sunday school, etc. We don't normally say grace before dinner except holidays and family gatherings and such.

Anyway, if I were you (which obviously I'm not, this is just my opinion) I would do the "grace" or "prayer time" in my cabin before coming to dinner. This would eliminate any unneccessary uncomfortable situations.

I hope you are able to work this out to your satisfaction. And by the way, I think it is a really cool tradition that your family has and it seems like a great way to get insight into each kids thoughts about the day.

 

[ducklite]

Jellymoon, I didn't find your question offensive. I can understand you wanting to keep your routine. But I think you also need to look at it from the perspective of people who might not share your views, and look at alternatives.

I also don't know how you would get around tablemates having wine or beer with dinner. I dont think you really have the right to expect them to abstain around your children, unless they are raging drunk, which of course is a different story altogether.

I agree with the other poster, you should probably call DCL and explain about your disabled child and the need for a private table. That would probably resolve your situation entirely.

If you find out that you aren't at a private table once you board, I'm not so sure what you're going to be able to do about it. I liked your idea of eating lunch together and having your big prayer time then. It would still give you the opportunity to continue your routine to some extent, without imposing on others.

Anne

 

[Wishing on a star]

I may get flamed here, but I too feel that it is a little much to expect others at your table at a public place to 'wait' and to be respectful for such an extensive prayer!!! Hey, I am as deeply religious as anyone I know, but I also know that you can't expect everyone around you to have a positive response to this.... To expect this of strangers, and then turn around and mention how you and your family may feel if somebody in the immediate vicinity does something as simple as have wine with their meal!!! Hellloooo!!!!

Most likely, the whole family will be all together in the stateroom, getting washed up and dressed for supper.... Perhaps you could have your prayer session there!!!

I do TOTALLY understand your issues with the value of this with your DS..... I know others with similar children!!! One thing that I really wanted to pass along is, instead of having a big prayer at supper... My sister has this session with her children before bed.... Starting each child with "Thank you Jesus, for today...." then they get to finish!!! It works super!

And, good luck getting that private table!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

a HUGE PS:

Since we are talking about families and children here. It may be a good idea to look at from the other families with children's point of view. After all, we are talking about vacationers here, on a cruise. We are talking about the possibility of other children who are over-excited, over-hungry, over-tired, overly happy

Well, I can imagine the other parents, more than a little peeved to have to be sitting at that table, trying to 'shush' their children because of a strangers routine prayers. Let us all remember that everyone deserves respect, even the NON prayers!!!

 

[Talky_Tina]

Hi Jelly,

Like the other posters, I was not at all offended by your question concerning the before meal prayers. Not at all. As it was pointed out here, some of us were being as open and honest as we could.

I also agree with Wishing on a Star about the liquor issue. I do not know how you can expect your dining mates to be accomodating to your family during your before meal prayers, but not be at all understanding about their traditions, which may be drinking a glass of wine with their meals.

FYI on our first DCL cruise, we requested a table for four and got it, so it does happen.

TT
ps. I did email DCL requesting they consider changing their policy to allow families and couples to dine alone and those who wish to eat with others may still do so. Anyone else out there who feels this way, feel free to email DCL. It sure would help clear up a lot of these issues. I went to the web site and used the "contact us" form. I only needed to give them my email addy and my first name.

 

[jellymoon]

I don't think our prayer time is offensive, nor do I think it is offensive to ask the question. This is a need our family has, and my point is that it is problematic to have group seating with strangers when you don't know if your issues mesh. Not to mention, we don't drink alcohol in front of the children, and I assume I children would potentially be exposed to that if our tablemates wished to order wine, etc. I don't think they are offensive to order the wine, it just creates an uncomfortable situation.

It seems people think I said I would not tolerate others drinking at our table. That isn't what I said at all. I'm describing a parallel situation. I clearly said, it would be an uncomfortable situation. Just as others may be uncomfortable if we pray, we may be uncomfortable if others drink alcohol. My point is there are some inherant problems with group seating, particularly with families. If it was just my husband and I cruising, I would love to sit with others and meet other people. It is so much easier to be flexible. But with four young children--- including one who has disabilities and I am always afraid of how strangers will react to an individual with mental retardation and whether or not they will unintentionally treat him with disrespect or staring--- it is much harder to be so flexible. I don't dislike meeting other people--- I love meeting other people. But I also think that respect extends both ways. Why does respect dictate that those that pray leave their values at the door in honor of those who don't pray? I clearly understand I must leave my values regarding alcohol at the door as I cannot ask another adult not to drink. Which again, I don't find drinking offensive, we just choose not to expose our children to alcohol. We realize that is something we will not be able to control on our trip.

Again, we have requested a private table. I hope we get one, and I hope Disney will make that accomodation. If not, I hope that our tablemates will be understanding if we say a quick grace (probably not our normal tradition, but we cannot have our children eat without saying any grace at all). (More importantly, I hope they are kind and respectful to my son). As well, I know that we will be understanding of tablemates who order alcoholic beverages and they will never know we have an issue with it, or that we will be talking with our children about alcohol back in the cabin.

 

[disneyholic family]

jellymoon,
it was very clear from what you wrote that you were making the comparison (not saying that you would expect them to refrain from drinking).....
and i'll say it again, if you haven't spoken directly with DCL about your son and any special requests you might have, you should....they will make every effort to accomodate your needs.....
we had very different special needs, but special nonetheless and they were absolutely outstanding in taking care of us....
but you really have to talk to them directly.....(and perhaps write to them as well...as a follow up to your calls)....