Do parents pay for their child's graduate school?

[Disney Doll]

I would say contribute what you can comfortably contribute, if you want to.

I wouldn't go into massive debt myself nor would I jeopardize retirement savings, investments, my house or anything of that sort though.

Yes, he'll have some debt out of college. But he'll also be able to get a pretty good job.

It'll be his warm welcome to the real world.

 

[Hannathy]

Not at any house I've lived in! My parents didn't for us and I don't intend to for mine. In Fact they will be getting loans for undergrad to, just like my DH and me.they have their 40 most productive years ahead of themselves to repay the loans I sure don't have 40 yrs to replenish my retirement fund.

 

[Snowysmom]

DH and I have agreed to pay for the kids' undergrad degree up to a certain amount which is the cost of the public university in our state. Grad/medical school will have to paid for by them. Older DS is a college senior and is applying to medical school for Fall, 2007. Younger DS will be in college in Fall, 2007. DH is now making me nervous by thinking that we can pay for medical school too. Like we have an extra $50,000 a year hanging around doing nothing. If we can help out older DS with things like living expenses, food, etc we will but we cannot pay for it, plain and simple. We need to ramp up our retirement savings at this point in our lives. The kids are aware that we can only do undergrad and are fine with it.

 

[MrsPete]

As parents, do we pay for his post-grad studies? He hasn't asked, and we really haven't begun the serious discussion yet, but we'll have to do it soon. Does he take out loans (he's debt-free at this point), work a full-time job (which I doubt will make a dent in his tuition), or what?

There are no rules for these things! What do you think is fair for you and your son? That's the bottom line. I don't think you should put yourself out financially (i.e., dip into your retirement, do without your vacation) for him to have an ADVANCED degree.

Here's my opinion: DH and I plan to pay for our two daughters to attend a state university for four years. We will pay their tuition and fees. We will pay for a dorm room/meal plan OR they can live at home (we live near a very good state school) and we'll provide them with a reliable used car -- but we won't pay for the dorm room AND a car because both are not necessary. We expect them to work during the summer and part-time during the school year so that they can pay for their books and spending money. If they goof off and are not progressing towards graduation, we quit paying.

If they get significant scholarships, we will do something for them with a portion of the money we've saved. Perhaps they'll be able to have a car and live on campus, perhaps we'll save it for graduate school, perhaps we'll put it into a retirement fund for them -- too soon to say. On the other hand, if they choose to attend a more expensive school, we'll give them the money we've planned to save and they'll have to make up the difference.

If I were in your shoes . . . it's iffy. By paying half his tuition and all his living expenses, you've already picked up the lion's share of his undergraduate degree. I'd lean towards allowing him to continue to live at home and giving him a portion of his tuition.

WOW...talk about stress...really, you have to get a B or you are OUT...yikes ...NO PRESSURE at all...but hey after-all, if you are going to go on I am thinking generally most likely you are already a very good student and getting and attaining those grades are NO BIGGIE for someone like yourself and my DS.

I think it's fairly common that graduate programs ONLY give credit for A and B grades. At my university, a student can repeat ONE CLASS if he earns a C; however, a second C will mean being kicked out of the program.

Everyone knows this going into grad school, so it's not like it's a surprise. Plus, you're talking about becoming a MASTER of your subject -- you shouldn't be allowed to squeak by with an average grade.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

My parents were generous enough to pay for my Bachelors Degree. But the Masters is all mine.

 

[Adri]

I don't know anyone whose parents paid their graduate school tuition. Although I paid my tuition myself, with student loans and money saved from working during the summers, it's not as if my parents didn't help me out financially at all. They did give me money sometimes to help me pay some of my other bills. They had also paid most of my undergraduate tuition.

 

[freckles and boo]

I paid for both my undergrad and graduate educations myself with a combination of grants, scholarships, assistantships and loans. It took several years of knuckling down to pay down the loans, but I knew it was part of the deal. Expecting my parents to continue to support me when I was an adult was out of the question - they simply couldn't afford it and I desperately needed my independence.

If you have gotten your son to this point, feel free to step back and enjoy his success without feeling guilty about what happens next. He is an adult and can handle it. If he can't, he has no business in graduate school.

Have a great cruise!

 

[minniecarousel]

I haven't read any of the responses, but our DSs knew that they were on their own for post grad work. They both talked about law school, but niether did it. As this point, we would help if they needed it, but they know they'll have to take out loans to cover most of the costs. Since they are both engaged to be married and we are helping with the cost of both weddings, school costs are not even in the picture right now.
I say, talk to him now so that he knows what to expect. (& he might not be able to do that cruise if he's in grad or law school.)

 

[Tiggeroo]

I have three in college and it's difficult. At least two of the kids due to their majors will be taking an extra year for undergrad. Each child is expected to take out loans and work in the summer for spending money. I helped them with cars and pay insurance and a good amount of maintenance. I help them with clothes, setting up dorms, computers, and around 25% of each of their tuition. I also provide spending money when they run out, laundry, gas, .....
It is costing me alot of money to help these kids thru college but it's important to me that they graduate. One daughter will be going to grad school. I will continue to help her with all of her expenses and probably pick up a few more such as her cell phone. But I won't pay grad school tuition. Her grades are decent but not good enough to get a good fellowship. There are employers who will help you pay for grad school. I've encouraged her to start looking at that angle.
If she was my only child, or there was a more spread out gap for kids in school I'd help more. But I feel I have to be even with all three kids. If I help her pay for grad school I would have to help all three kids. This would completely prevent me from retirement savings.
If you don't prepare for retirement you will become a burden on your kids.

 

[goodeats]

My parents would not pay for grad school, luckily for me I have no plans to go to grad school.

For my friends that went to Law School, MBA, and Medical programs most of them got loans. Some loans are much larger because they went to a private school, or lived high on the hog (as Grandma would say) while they were in school. If your son does get loans make sure he understand it's not Monopoly money. Whatever he takes out he will have to pay back.

For my friends that just went to one or two year Masters type programs their parents did help. My DH is planning to go to one of these, and his parents offered to help. But in his case his brother went to a MUCH more expensive undergraduate school (like 4 times as much!), so his parents feel they should offer more to DH.

 

[Aisling]

If you have gotten your son to this point, feel free to step back and enjoy his success without feeling guilty about what happens next. He is an adult and can handle it. If he can't, he has no business in graduate school.
Have a great cruise!

I never thought of it that way.

Thanks for all the advice.

 

[Longsx3]

I don't think that you should cancel any of your upcoming vacations to put your DS through Grad School. Help him where you can, allow him to continue living at home, etc.

There are plenty of financial aid opportunites for law school and plenty of law firms offer tution reimbursement, where as if you pay he wouldn't qualify. So if nothing else you can always give him a graduation gift to help ease the loan burden

 

[Lynn CC]

If it were me I would probably cancel the trip and do something local with the whole family that costs less. Then I would give him the $10,000 towards grad school. At this point every little bit helps. You can still spend the week together having fun as a family, going to dinner, museums or whatever you like to do as a family. Just a suggestion, but if you all do go on the cruise have fun, either way it's your decision.
My son plans on being an international lawyer hes in undergrad now. He got full tuition scholarship for undergrad, but summer school for the next 3 years will be 10k and we still ave to pay for a place for him to live in Boston during the school year which is about 16k a year.
DH and I haven't been away on a vacation together since 2001, but we spend a lot of time together doing things we enjoy and feel good about being able to help out DS.
We will do the same for Graduate Studies.

It's a very individual choice, do what you can or what you want to do, but be happy about your decision. Life's too short to be unhappy or bogged down with too many loans. It all depends on how you look at it LOL

I'd be interested to know what you decide to do about your upcoming trip???

 

[damo]

I will do what I can to help.

 

[momx2]

My parents helped a lot during undergrad. They paid some and I paid some. I didin't have to take out loans for undergrad., but I worked my butt off. They expected me to graduate in 4 years, which I did while working about 30+ hours a week. I don't regret this at all. I learned responsibility. When I went to law school they paid my car insurance, but I paid for everything else: car payment, tuition, books, rent, etc... I took out loans and worked about 20 hrs. per week my 2nd and 3rd year and during the summers. I'm still paying the loans back 12 years later. I lstill have 8 years. I took the lower payment, longer term plan. I wish now I'd took the 10 year plan!

I don't think my parents should have helped me in law school anymore than they did. I was an adult. They had 2 more in college and they did have to get loans. My parents just didn't have the money and what money they did have I wanted them to use for theirselves. GO ON THE CRUISE! He is grown up and can handle things himself. Have fun!

Later, my parents had more money, different career for DF. They did give me a large sum to put toward my loans. I used it though to pay down debt. So, if you ever come into some money, that can help later, but I wouldn't stress over it.

 

[KelNottAt]

We plan on paying for everything for our kids in undergrad: tuition, room, board, fees, allowance, etc. If either of them wants to go on to grad school, we'll pay for something, maybe housing for example, but not all of it.

In fact, since DS wants to be a teacher, we're encouraging him to go to grad school with our help. That one extra year could make a big salary difference over the next 40 years (+/-).

 

[MAKmom]

Let him take the loans out. My brother did the law school thing than decided he did not want to be a lawyer. He did not know my parents were going to take over the payments after he passed the bar. He refused to take the bar.

 

[MrsPete]

In fact, since DS wants to be a teacher, we're encouraging him to go to grad school with our help. That one extra year could make a big salary difference over the next 40 years (+/-).

I'm a teacher, and I'd suggest that you reconsider this plan. Why should you (or he) be out-of-pocket for a degree when the school system is willing to pick up the tab? In my area, this choice is available to any teacher who has completed three years of teaching. The teacher pays for the classes up front, and is reimbursed after passing the class (fail the class, no reimbursement).

Beyond the Master's degree (which adds 10% to a paycheck here), there are a couple other ways to boost salary:

Earn National Board certification. This adds another 10-12% to the paycheck. This is a difficult certification, and the process cannot be started until the teacher has 3 (or is it 5?) years in the classroom. The certification lasts 10 years and can be renewed. Earning NBC is a one-year process and is very expensive (about 2K, I believe), but the state will pay for the teacher to go through the process once. Many people do not pass, so I would suggest that a potential candidate teach a couple years and earn the master's degree (so as to be up on the latest jargon, etc.) immediately before embarking on this expensive process.

Become an administrator. Here's the hitch in getting that master's degree straight out of college: If you want to become an administrator, you want one degree; if you intend to stay in the classroom, you want a different degree. If I -- a classroom teacher -- had a masters in administration or school counseling or library science, I wouldn't get jack-squat for it. I would only be paid the extra 10% if my masters were in my subject area. So the point is that you want him to earn the right degree for what he wants to do in his teaching career. Until you have a couple years of classroom experience, it's hard to know which one you're going to want to earn. And then there's a program called "Principal Fellows", which pays highly qualified would-be administrators to earn a Masters degree AND it pays them a salary while doing so. I used to think I'd do this eventually, but now I know that I love my classroom too much -- I'm where I belong. LOTS of teachers would tell the same story; some go ahead and plunge into administration, knowing they're not going to like the job, because our pensions are based upon our last four years in the school system.

Seriously, while I understand your thinking -- he's going to be working, why not earn more for the same job -- I would suggest that a teacher get some experience on the job first, then when he knows what he wants, let the state pay for it.

 

[KelNottAt]

I'm a teacher, and I'd suggest that you reconsider this plan. Why should you (or he) be out-of-pocket for a degree when the school system is willing to pick up the tab? In my area, this choice is available to any teacher who has completed three years of teaching. The teacher pays for the classes up front, and is reimbursed after passing the class (fail the class, no reimbursement).

Beyond the Master's degree (which adds 10% to a paycheck here), there are a couple other ways to boost salary:

Earn National Board certification. This adds another 10-12% to the paycheck. This is a difficult certification, and the process cannot be started until the teacher has 3 (or is it 5?) years in the classroom. The certification lasts 10 years and can be renewed. Earning NBC is a one-year process and is very expensive (about 2K, I believe), but the state will pay for the teacher to go through the process once. Many people do not pass, so I would suggest that a potential candidate teach a couple years and earn the master's degree (so as to be up on the latest jargon, etc.) immediately before embarking on this expensive process.

Become an administrator. Here's the hitch in getting that master's degree straight out of college: If you want to become an administrator, you want one degree; if you intend to stay in the classroom, you want a different degree. If I -- a classroom teacher -- had a masters in administration or school counseling or library science, I wouldn't get jack-squat for it. I would only be paid the extra 10% if my masters were in my subject area. So the point is that you want him to earn the right degree for what he wants to do in his teaching career. Until you have a couple years of classroom experience, it's hard to know which one you're going to want to earn. And then there's a program called "Principal Fellows", which pays highly qualified would-be administrators to earn a Masters degree AND it pays them a salary while doing so. I used to think I'd do this eventually, but now I know that I love my classroom too much -- I'm where I belong. LOTS of teachers would tell the same story; some go ahead and plunge into administration, knowing they're not going to like the job, because our pensions are based upon our last four years in the school system.

Seriously, while I understand your thinking -- he's going to be working, why not earn more for the same job -- I would suggest that a teacher get some experience on the job first, then when he knows what he wants, let the state pay for it.

Thanks for the advice. These are all good points I wasn't aware of. We were just thinking it would be good to get the masters right away b/c it's so hard to go back once one enters the work force. Now we'll keep more options open. Thanks again.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I'm going to school to get my teacher's cert and sub fool time in two different school districts. I've been told over and over that it's better to apply for your first job with only your bachelors. The schools like to have new teachers come in at the low end of the salary to balance out some of the more experienced teachers higher salaries. Given a choice between the app. with the bach or the masters they will frequently pick the bachelors. Then once hired they will help you get that masters.