Do parents pay for their child's graduate school?

[poohandwendy]

No, we will not. We have made the decision to pay for the first four years and the rest is up to them. (they all know this going in) If I only had one child, I may feel differently. But, we have three and we are working folk who refuse to go into our own debt doing this...so four years it is.

Only my opinion, I respect every parents right to make this decision for their own family.

 

[barkley]

my mom (dad passed when i was 19) provided room and board AT HOME and paid for my car insurance while i payed all else and commuted to the university. it was'nt easy, but going without allot of things my fellow students thought were givens (vacations, new clothes, new text books, not being employed while going to college) i managed to graduate without any student debt.

when dh and i married (i'm almost 7 years older) he had no degree and wanted to pursue one. we looked at our options and opted to have him take a job with the same government agency i worked for that offered partial tuition/fee/book reimbursements for any collegiate classes. it took him a little longer than the normal college student-and he had to learn to balance work, family life and college but he managed to graduate with a degree that was far less costly than had we gone the traditional route. we had co-workers as well as friends in private industry that took jobs that they were not entirely fond of just by virtue of programs that offered educational assistance. i know of one that got their entire law school paid for in exchange for entering into an agreement to work for the company in the legal department for as little as 2 years post grad.

there are funding options available to students-they just have to search them out and consider short term vs. long term goals and gratification. i personaly even if in the position to pay everything for my kid's under grad degrees will likely require some financial participation on their part-in my experience, the students who had a vested financial interest in their educations were much more level headed and realistic in making decisions regarding classes and professional opportunities.

 

[momrek06]

If you were my parents, you'd be paying for every course I took seeing as how I have to get a B or better to pass the course. Get below a B once, repeat the course, get another below B grade in any other course, you're out of the program! Hope your son's program doesn't have this policy and is just pulling your leg...totally jk. But not the part about the B or better to pass for me.

WOW...talk about stress...really, you have to get a B or you are OUT...yikes ...NO PRESSURE at all...but hey after-all, if you are going to go on I am thinking generally most likely you are already a very good student and getting and attaining those grades are NO BIGGIE for someone like yourself and my DS.

 

[lil mermaid]

The only people I know who have had grad school paid for by their parents are the ones who have parents that are VERY wealthy.

It sounds as if you have already paid for the undergraduate degree. If you can afford it, then I would say help with graduate school. If it puts you in a situation where you have to borrow or withdraw from retirement savings, I would say DON'T do it. After all, your DS has many more years to pay it back then you do........

 

[need_a_Disney_fix]

Ummm...no. Once they get to this point, they are on their own!!!!

 

[pearlieq]

No, I don't think parents should be obligated to pay for grad school.

We're allotting 4 years of state school tuition to our kids. If there's money left over (say they get a scholarship or finish early) I'll be happy to put it toward grad school, but otherwise they're on their own.

 

[Wonders10]

WOW...talk about stress...really, you have to get a B or you are OUT...yikes ...NO PRESSURE at all...but hey after-all, if you are going to go on I am thinking generally most likely you are already a very good student and getting and attaining those grades are NO BIGGIE for someone like yourself and my DS.

No kidding! Obviously if I'm gonna be making a career out of this for the rest of my life, I need to know my stuff but just the added stress of knowing you can't screw up - even just a bit is scary sometimes. I mean everyone has bad days. As many of my profs will say, "life happens" and it doesn't always revolve around your school work.

So say I get an overall grade of a C on Class X, I retake it and pass with a B. Then, say 2 semesters down the road, I get another C in Class Y, I'm out of the program. Scary stuff...

 

[Aisling]

DH & I told DS that we would pay for every grad course B+ or matter.

If you can afford it, then I would say help with graduate school. If it puts you in a situation where you have to borrow or withdraw from retirement savings, I would say DON'T do it.

I wish we had tons of money to easily pay for his grad degree. I'm worried I'd feel guilty going on a cruise when that money could help DS out. I'm happy that someone said not to cancel the cruise. Not that I'm depending on someone to tell me not to cancel the cruise...well maybe I am!

Thanks for all the responses

 

[Toby'sFriend]

So say I get an overall grade of a C on Class X, I retake it and pass with a B. Then, say 2 semesters down the road, I get another C in Class Y, I'm out of the program.

That isn't uncommon for Grad School. At Master's levels courses and above you are only supposed to be there if you are a serious student.

If I had the extra money I'd certainly consider paying toward tuition. However I'd consider it a gift, not an obligation. If I didn't have the extra money and it would be putting my own lifestyle or retirement at risk, then I wouldn't feel guilty about it. There are many ways to pay for Grad school.

We didn't all sit around discussing finances alot, but I can't think of anybody that I went to Grad school with that was likely having their parents pay tuition.

 

[budbeerlady]

DD will have her undergrad payed for, after that she is welcome to live at home while doing her grad time if she decides to take that route someday. We will put gas in her car, buy her books, slip her some cash from time to time but at that age I feel even if we were loaded it is time for her to be resposible for her education and costs.

At 5 she already knows she has a 529 plan for college, we show her the balance every quarter and she wants to get a full ride so she can have the money for a house and a Harley Davey as she calls it!

 

[Syrreal]

Actually, my dept also requires a B or better. And if you get a B you almost feel as if you failed the class b/c if you plan to go on for your PhD or for an MFA everyone got As and your B may actually keep you out of the program! (I do theater and am only gettingan MA right now b/c there is no MFA anywhere close to where I live and I didn't want to be out of the loop for that long and plan to go for my MFA next year) It is really competitive out there (especially since many MFA and PhD <in theater since they are the programs I have looked into> only accept 2-8 people either every year or every 2 years depending on the program)

Both Dh and I were really lucky with our undergrad too. Our parents paid for us to go (including both of us changing schools once- DH and I met in our 2nd school) and mine in particular always said that school was my job. (it would have also been very difficult to work w/ my degree as most days I was in school from 9am to 10 or 11 pm and on the other days I was there from 9:30am until the same time). And our parents didn't want us to get into debt.
I will say that I had a little part time job some of the time but that was for spending cash only so that I could have a little bit of fun. It was a little weekend job.

We hope to give the same opportunities to our kids.

 

[Linxzy]

I'm in grad school and thankfully I have a scholarship that pays for my tuition. I have to buy the instruments for my classes (dental), so for the first yr my parents helped me out, since I really didn't know how much the cost was going to be. But I really didn't expected that from them. I got a student loan and payed them back.

 

[Wonders10]

Actually, my dept also requires a B or better. And if you get a B you almost feel as if you failed the class b/c if you plan to go on for your PhD or for an MFA everyone got As and your B may actually keep you out of the program! (I do theater and am only gettingan MA right now b/c there is no MFA anywhere close to where I live and I didn't want to be out of the loop for that long and plan to go for my MFA next year) It is really competitive out there (especially since many MFA and PhD <in theater since they are the programs I have looked into> only accept 2-8 people either every year or every 2 years depending on the program)

It definitely makes sense to put grade restrictions on students getting higher degrees. If you are going that far in your advancing your education, you should actually be getting those grades without being told you "have to". I will be the first to admit though that my GPA in undergrad was horrendous - nothing like my stellar high school GPA or the grades I'm getting now. And for the most part, I don't think I learned all that much while earning my bachelors, sad to say. I would hate to have the same "easy way out" for my masters and attempt to give speech therapy to people without even knowing what their disorder is or what it was caused by, etc. But not all programs have the grade requirements. My friend recently got her masters in social work and was shocked when I told her my "B or better policy" - she scooted by with C's and now has a masters degree in her field!

 

[Linxzy]

My school also requires passing grades (C or 75% and up, depends on the class). Also, if you fail 2 classes, you are out of the program or they can also put you a year back {ex.: if you are in 2yr and fail, you are taken back to 1st yr or you start 2yr again, depends on the situation}. At least some can have another chance.

 

[antmaril]

My son will be a college sophomore in the Fall. We have enough to pay for his undergraduate education. He will graduate from college without debt. We are proud of that. We are just average people and it is a lot of money.

He wants to be a dentist. He knows he will have to get student loans to pay for dental school. It is VERY expensive. We have a dental school in our area and if he could accepted there, he could live at home which would save some money. Either way, he will have a lot of debt, but he says he's not going to let that discourage him.

Personally, I worry about it, but, quite honestly, we don't have an extra $160,000 - $200,000 to pay for it. I guess if he becomes a dentist, he will eventually pay it off. It would scare me, though.

 

[belle&beast]

My parents helped as much as they could during undergraduate studies and I was always told that they could only help me for 4 years because my sister was coming up right behind me. I graduated in 4 years with some student loans that were/are my responsibility. When I went back to get my Master's Degree, I was still living at home, but it was totally my responsibility, and I don't think my parents should pay for it. Yes, I have student loans, but it was my choice. My parents are not struggling financially, but they struggled when they sent us to private schools and helped as much as possible with college. Student loans stink, but I very quickly learned in grad school to budget and plan my spending. We are planning to help our kids as much as we can with college and with grad school, but I also think planning for retirement is important, too. Don't feel guilty if you are unable to help.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Here are my feelings on the subject:

If you have some money you can give him, there's nothing wrong with saying, "We can afford to contribute X", and let him look at other possibilities to fund the remainder. If it were my child, they could continue to live at home rent and board free for the duration.

You should not skimp on your retirement savings, education for younger children, or even some "fun money" to pay for his graduate school He's young and has options--in retirement, you will have many fewer if you don't have much money. And if you cut out vacations and the like for years to come, you may start to resent that. Cutting back might not be a horrible idea, but with another kid in the pipeline, you could be doing this for 10 or more years.

That said, if you find yourself with extra $$ or a windfall (inheritance? winning lottery ticket?), you can always give him $$ later to help pay down his debt. This not only gives him a boost, but he's had to take on the debt and be responsible about it, without counting on you.

If the only way he can go to grad school is if you throw in a huge chunk of change, I would question whether he's really serious about it. People I've known with the "free rides" in college were the ones least likely to take it seriously because they didn't have anything riding on their success or failure.

I wish you the best--it's not to soon to start exploring options.

 

[Simba's Mom]

My son is entering his senior year in college. He had a scholarship which paid for half of his college education, and me and DH paid the rest. He lives at home, has a job, pays his own car expenses, etc. He has a 3.5 GPA.

He wants to go on with his education, for a Masters/Phd in political science, or law school.

I started looking at law school tuition, and I thought holy smoke, this is going to be expensive, I mean too expensive to come out of my pocket. We're talking $50,000 a year.

As parents, do we pay for his post-grad studies? He hasn't asked, and we really haven't begun the serious discussion yet, but we'll have to do it soon. Does he take out loans (he's debt-free at this point), work a full-time job (which I doubt will make a dent in his tuition), or what? I have a cruise booked for Christmas 2007, which is going to cost over $10,000, and I thought OMG I have to cancel this cruise because I'll need this money for DSs continued ed. (He's also booked to go on the cruise.)

None of his friends are going on to grad school, so I get no inspiration from there.

Any advice?

We had this exact same discussion with DS a year ago when he was an undergraduate senior in college. Although he'll probably get a teaching assistantship (he talked to the dept. head), he has to take a music conducting class first, which will also count towards his Master's. So we offered to pay for that class this semester. We're also paying for his car insurance, no small amount in Texas for a single male under 25!

 

[mking624]

My husband is in seminary now (which is graduate school), and his parents do not pay, nor do we expect them to. I know it's a little different since he's now married and living away fro them, but his brother DOES live at home and is in graduate school...and my inlaws do not pay for him. They helped with college...and the buck stops there. I would do the same...they're plenty old enough to get a job and start paying their own bills. I think the same way for college, too, actually. It's called "welcome to the real world...people aren't always going to pay your way."

 

[JVL1018]

WOW...talk about stress...really, you have to get a B or you are OUT...yikes ...NO PRESSURE at all...but hey after-all, if you are going to go on I am thinking generally most likely you are already a very good student and getting and attaining those grades are NO BIGGIE for someone like yourself and my DS.

My friend got kicked out of her speech pathology program for having a 2.9 GPA. She was in her second year. You know what a BS and 1 year of a masters in that field means? Nothing! Wasted time.
She actually was able to get emergency cert. and work in a school as long as she kept taking classes(she did 7 years). It was impossible for her to get into another program because they take their undergards first and there is rarely if ever any room for transfers.
Sooooo..she went back and got another bachelors and a masters in occupational therapy. Same deal, 3.0 or better or your'e out.She got all As and graduated with high honors this time..but she was in school from age 5 until 33 non stop.

Anyway she paid for all grad school(and her second bachelors) herself.
I donlt know anyone whose parents paid for grad/law/medical school, even if they could afford it, my inlaws included. BIL paid for his own law school with loans.