Do I just not get it?

[WilmaBud]

Yeah, I have to agree. If my sister or anyone didn't respect my wishes as the parent, I wouldn't want them watching my kids anyway.

 

[aprilgail2]

Sorry but if you want to leave your kids with me but then don't want me to take them where I want to then keep your kids with you. When my godson and his sister were little I took them EVERYWHERE with me, and I was not married and had no children then. I took them both to Florida a few times while there mom went to Georgia to visit a friend, took them to Lake George, Wildwood NJ and many other places. I had a cruise booked for me, my daughter and my godson in April 2002 but he died 20 days before we were supposed to leave...if my friend was not comfortable with me taking them places I would have been very insulted and more than likely not watched them when she went anyplace if I had to stay home and do it.

 

[Glinda64]

Yes I have children, and took my nephew every where before and after had kids. I am wondering how old yours are. You have to let go. I am wondering what makes you think I don't have kids. You don't really think a 15 yr old is going to hang around with Mom at a waterpark do you and the same for an 11 yr old. Like I said 11 yr olds around here go for the day by themselves, including my DD who had a blast the years she went. They also go skiing by themselves to! Heck 15 yr olds in the band go to Disney by themselves and to Europe. Our boys choir went to Croatia last year and they were 11-13.You can't hover all their lives.

If I took an 11 year old and a 15 year old they better darn well stay with me. I don't trust people and would never allow them to run around without me. Especailly if they weren't mine.

 

[Hannathy]

If I took an 11 year old and a 15 year old they better darn well stay with me. I don't trust people and would never allow them to run around without me. Especailly if they weren't mine.

You are kidding me right? You would expect a highschool sophmore or possibly a junior to stay by your side at a water park. How many high schoolers have you taken some place.


Sorry to get off topic but that is how old we are talking about here not 3 yr olds. And she can take my kids if she wants and I'll up the ante and even drive them half way!

 

[Glinda64]

You are kidding me right? You would expect a highschool sophmore or possibly a junior to stay by your side at a water park. How many high schoolers have you taken some place.


Sorry to get off topic but that is how old we are talking about here not 3 yr olds. And she can take my kids if she wants and I'll up the ante and even drive them half way!

I am NOT kidding. Don't you remember the recent kidnappings of the two boys? One of them was 11 at the time of the kidnapping.

This lady's sister is concerned about her children. I applaud her for that. Her 6 year old is going to be away from her for the first time. I don't think it is asking too much for the child to not be taken on a major overnight outing.

 

[MichelleVW]

You are kidding me right? You would expect a highschool sophmore or possibly a junior to stay by your side at a water park. How many high schoolers have you taken some place.


Sorry to get off topic but that is how old we are talking about here not 3 yr olds. And she can take my kids if she wants and I'll up the ante and even drive them half way!

Agreed....she can take mine too...they love water parks and I hate them!!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

If it weren't for the waterpark aspect, I'd think your sister was being overprotective, too. But a 6yo at a waterpark can be very difficult to watch, even if there is just one of him. We don't know how well he can swim, or how rambunctious a child he is.

I have lots of family and friends I trust with my kids, and with my mellow, cautious older dd, I let a couple of them take her swimming at ages 4,5,6. But with my impulsive now-4yo who will just jump on into the deep end seconds after you tell her not to, I don't know if I'd let her go swimming with anyone else, either. It's not that I don't trust them, I just know from experience that no one ever "gets" what a handful she is in certain situations until they see her in action

This thread is so opposite of one I remember about pool parties a while back. I think it was around the same age group and I don't think there was one parent who said they'd be OK with dropping a 6yo off at a pool party, even with lifeguards and plenty of other adults present to watch. Even though they'd leave a child alone with the same people for games and cake, throw a pool in the mix and no one was comfortable without they themselves being present.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

You know, I have always thought this too. These overprotective parents I'm sure think they are better parents than those of us that are laid back, but isn't our job to raise independent children? If we're always worried about what might happen and don't let them experience things for themselves, is that healthy?

And doesn't this post seem to be saying that the laid back parents are the "better" parents, raising those independant children?

Why does it always have to be one method is "better" than another? Some people are naturally more cautious and will raise their children more cautiously. She's not putting them in a plastic bubble, for goodness sakes.

We all do our best as parents and we should support one another, not quibble over who's the "better" parent.

 

[KirstenB]

Okay, for those of us who are "wiggy" about water, how do you manage your fears? We have a pond in our back yard, and my way of managing my fears was to enroll dd who is now 8 in year round swim lessons since she was 3.

By the time she was 6, she was on swim team, and a really decent swimmer. I still watch her, the way I would anyone in the water, but I feel confident we've done everything we can to make swimming safe for her.

I stand by my opinion, the sister can't have it both ways. If I can't trust you to watch my kids at a waterpark, why the heck would I leave them with you?

 

[MichelleVW]

If it weren't for the waterpark aspect, I'd think your sister was being overprotective, too. But a 6yo at a waterpark can be very difficult to watch, even if there is just one of him. We don't know how well he can swim, or how rambunctious a child he is.

I have lots of family and friends I trust with my kids, and with my mellow, cautious older dd, I let a couple of them take her swimming at ages 4,5,6. But with my impulsive now-4yo who will just jump on into the deep end seconds after you tell her not to, I don't know if I'd let her go swimming with anyone else, either. It's not that I don't trust them, I just know from experience that no one ever "gets" what a handful she is in certain situations until they see her in action

This thread is so opposite of one I remember about pool parties a while back. I think it was around the same age group and I don't think there was one parent who said they'd be OK with dropping a 6yo off at a pool party, even with lifeguards and plenty of other adults present to watch. Even though they'd leave a child alone with the same people for games and cake, throw a pool in the mix and no one was comfortable without they themselves being present.

I think dropping them off at a pool party is different than have Aunt and Grandma/Grandpa taking them to the water park.

This is just so foreign to me. When I was growing up I used to babysit my cousins all the time, I was 18-19 years old taking my cousin who was 3 to the zoo, an Amusement park, all over and my aunt felt comfortable with it.

But if the OP's sister isn't comfortable with it, then I agree she should just keep them at home...

 

[ilovejack02]

Okay, for those of us who are "wiggy" about water, how do you manage your fears? We have a pond in our back yard, and my way of managing my fears was to enroll dd who is now 8 in year round swim lessons since she was 3.

By the time she was 6, she was on swim team, and a really decent swimmer. I still watch her, the way I would anyone in the water, but I feel confident we've done everything we can to make swimming safe for her.

I stand by my opinion, the sister can't have it both ways. If I can't trust you to watch my kids at a waterpark, why the heck would I leave them with you?

Im not wiggy too much about water. Just with DS4 I want to be there with him. Once my oldest hit the age where he was a great swimmer i wasnt worried anymore. Since my little one isnt good with it I try and stick with him except in certain situations. Just the crazy worry mommy in me lol. After this summer and more swim lessons ill be better at letting him go.

 

[momrek06]

Look, OP, I have NOT read this entire thread...but I will say this about your situation....I have two single sisters, I have two sons (24&21yo now)....my sisters at different times in my DS' lives took them on mini-trips here and there. DH & I (half the time) was not even going anywhere. But my sis' would call and ask, "can I have the boys for the weekend?"

Can I just tell you, those weekends with my sisters were some FABULOUS WONDERFUL memories my boys had while growing up. Now that they are older, we will all gather at my parents summer home in Maine and before the weekends are over, someone will always bring up the...."remember when" subject and my boys would be on the floor laughing about some dumb thing they did while at Aunty Jeanne's or some silly thing they did while at Aunty Honey!!!!!!

OP, it is all about the MEMORIES!!!! And memories are PRICELESS!!!

Good Luck, OP, I hope this works out for you!! Your sister needs to "chill" and start to enjoy life a little bit AWAY from the kiddos. Hopefully, this whole ordeal while not get stressful as May is a ways off and your sis sounds like she has some "issues"!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

Look, OP, I have NOT read this entire thread...but I will say this about your situation....I have two single sisters, I have two sons (24&21yo now)....my sisters at different times in my DS' lives took them on mini-trips here and there. DH & I (half the time) was not even going anywhere. But my sis' would call and ask, "can I have the boys for the weekend?"

Can I just tell you, those weekends with my sisters were some FABULOUS WONDERFUL memories my boys had while growing up. Now that they are older, we will all gather at my parents summer home in Maine and before the weekends are over, someone will always bring up the...."remember when" subject and my boys would be on the floor laughing about some dumb thing they did while at Aunty Jeanne's or some silly thing they did while at Aunty Honey!!!!!!

OP, it is all about the MEMORIES!!!! And memories are PRICELESS!!!

Good Luck, OP, I hope this works out for you!! Your sister needs to "chill" and start to enjoy life a little bit AWAY from the kiddos. Hopefully, this whole ordeal while not get stressful as May is a ways off and your sis sounds like she has some "issues"!!!

LOL that is true! My favorite memory is going to spend the night at my best friend's parent's best friends house. Does that make any sense?? lol.
Aunt Tia and Uncle Hank didnt have kids and they would let us watch movies all night and the cook us steaks at midnight. We were like 8 yrs old. My parents didnt know these people very well, but trusted my best friend's parents judgement. Im so glad they did. We had a BALL and i still look back on those weekends at their house fondly. I cant say that I would do that now, but times have changed and we all i think freak out a bit more than folks used too.

 

[freckles and boo]

I stand by my opinion, the sister can't have it both ways. If I can't trust you to watch my kids at a waterpark, why the heck would I leave them with you?

We go to The Wilderness Resort in Wisconsin Dells at least two times a year. There are three indoor waterparks, and only one of them has a clear line of sight for the entire space and that is because it is an enormous wavepool. The chaos is stunning. The noise is overwhelming. There are doors in each waterpark that exit to parking lots, hallways, locker rooms, and restaurants. Keeping track of a child in this kind of environment is very challenging. I lost sight of my four-year-old for about a minute and a half on our last trip and I was panicked. Granted, she is autistic and cannot communicate well, but I would have felt the same way had my six-year-old disappeared. It is easy to say that trust is all or nothing, but that isn't true. We know what we are getting into when we take them to the waterpark and frankly I would only trust one other person (who just happens to be my sister) to take on this challenge. Under other circumstances I would trust quite a few people to be responsible for my kids, but not in that kind of environment.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I think dropping them off at a pool party is different than have Aunt and Grandma/Grandpa taking them to the water park.

I do agree that there's a difference between friends and Aunt/Gramma/Grampa in the love dept., but that doesn't necessarily equate to being a better lifeguard.

Many people here are saying "if she can't trust you to take them to a pool, how can she trust you to take them at all?" There are lots more people I'll leave my kids with away from water than near water, and I think most of us would agree. To me, siblings and grandparents don't get an automatic pass just because of DNA.

 

[momrek06]

LOL that is true! My favorite memory is going to spend the night at my best friend's parent's best friends house. Does that make any sense?? lol.
Aunt Tia and Uncle Hank didnt have kids and they would let us watch movies all night and the cook us steaks at midnight. We were like 8 yrs old. My parents didnt know these people very well, but trusted my best friend's parents judgement. Im so glad they did. We had a BALL and i still look back on those weekends at their house fondly.

And you know what, ilovejack02, those were fabulous times for Aunt Tia and Uncle Hank, yes they were, as you have YOUR memories, they have THEIR memories!!!

 

[ilovejack02]

And you know what, ilovejack02, those were fabulous times for Aunt Tia and Uncle Hank, yes they were, as you have YOUR memories, they have THEIR memories!!!

They sure do, we met up with them recently at a wedding reception. We were laughing because my friend and I were drinking alcohol and Uncle Hank said that when we were little we used to say GROSSSSS Uncle hank you are drinking beer?????
They have kids now of course and they laughed and said we never did things with our kids that we did with you girls. ( not that it was anything bad lol) just the whole staying up late and giving us junk food and letting us watch crazy movies and then letting us sleep till noon to sleep off the candy buzz. lol

 

[mickeysgal]

This is just a question, because I don't get it. For those of you that have responded that you wouldn't be comfortable with a 2 - 3 hr road trip, forget the water park issue, what is your concern with the road trip??? That I just don't get. Don't you ever take your kids anywhere by car?

Of course we take the kids places by car. My concern with any road trip is the person that is driving. In my case, I trust my brother to watch my kids, but I've been very vocal that my kids will not drive with him in a car. He drives fast, he's a tailgater, and a constant lane changer. No one likes to be in the car with him. I'm not putting my kids in that kind of risky situation. Remember, not everyone is a safe driver. Thats the kind of worry that I just don't need...vacation or no vacation.

 

[ilovejack02]

Of course we take the kids places by car. My concern with any road trip is the person that is driving. In my case, I trust my brother to watch my kids, but I've been very vocal that my kids will not drive with him in a car. He drives fast, he's a tailgater, and a constant lane changer. No one likes to be in the car with him. I'm not putting my kids in that kind of risky situation. Remember, not everyone is a safe driver. Thats the kind of worry that I just don't need...vacation or no vacation.

I agree with you on that. My dad is 81 and still a decent driver, but almost too cautious and sometimes that can be unsafe. My mom is now the primary driver, she is only 63 (lol) and a much better driver than daddy. Thank God they realize that. I wouldnt let DS4 in the car with them if she wasnt driving.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I just can't understand the people who are saying "if I can't do whatever I want with them then I don't want them at all." There is a HUGE difference between feeling comfortable leaving your kids at home with family versus having that same family take them 2.5 hours away, to a waterpark, while you are halfway across the country.

OP, yes, your sis is overprotective, but it doesn't sound like this is a newsflash or anything. It sounds like sis is a worrier. So what? You know that. Help her have a nice trip by not adding to her stress. Keep the kids local and find great things to do there. It didn't sound like she wants you to stay housebound; she's just not comfortable with the waterpark trip. I also seriously doubt she wants to be the only one who has fun with the kids. I'm sure she wants them to have fun and have a close relationship with you.

Hannathy, your suggestion to take the kids anyway has to be one of the most irrresponsible, negligent, and immature things I have read on the DIS.