Do guest RSVP?

[Keira1387]

Ok, so I really thought we could get all of our RSVP's back and be able to give my planner the final count and pay the balance. They are due next Saturday, and I've only gotten about half of them back! I should mention that most of the people that haven't RSVP'd are staying at the hotels. Do people think that they don't have to RSVP because they booked a room? So am I supposed to guess how many in each family are coming? Has anyone had a similar situation? TIA!!

 

[figmentcookie]

Ok, so I really thought we could get all of our RSVP's back and be able to give my planner the final count and pay the balance. They are due next Saturday, and I've only gotten about half of them back! I should mention that most of the people that haven't RSVP'd are staying at the hotels. Do people think that they don't have to RSVP because they booked a room? So am I supposed to guess how many in each family are coming? Has anyone had a similar situation? TIA!!

I've read on many wedding websites/magazines that this happens. They usually suggest that you start calling your guests that didn't rsvp.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i had the same problem. i had to go off the rsvp's i had, the room block list from my planner and then i set my family on them.

 

[Keira1387]

i had the same problem. i had to go off the rsvp's i had, the room block list from my planner and then i set my family on them.

Yeah, I really that people are assuming that if they book a room that they don't have to RSVP.

 

[Ember]

I think that people have gotten to the point where having an "etiquette-shemitiquette" attitude is common place. People don't even consider that their RSVP is important, they'll just show up or not, no big deal. All the social niceties are vanishing as people get more of an attitude of entitlement.

Of course, it goes both ways. Couples spend an inordinate amount of time trying to work out how to get the gifts they want out of guests and then they go so far as to invite said gifts to their weddings along with the people expected to bring them.... So in those cases I guess it's a meeting of rudeness...



Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox. I've been invited to one too many weddings this year with gift instructions included in the invite. I am generally polite enough to RSVP, but sometimes I wonder why I bother.

I would start calling people. I had to call about 1/2 my guests who were unable to check a box, write the number of people attending, and drop the pre-stamped card into the mail.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i agree ember, etiquette just is not the norm right now. which is a shame.

i think about 1/3 of my pj was dedicated to rsvp drama.

 

[lurkyloo]

I would start calling people. I had to call about 1/2 my guests who were unable to check a box, write the number of people attending, and drop the pre-stamped card into the mail.

OMG - yes! One of our guests was even heard to say, "Oh, RSVP cards are just a formality!"

... So they think I spent $$$ on return postage just to make the RSVP envelopes look pretty?

 

[Keira1387]

I'm so glad we are all on the same page!!! That's what I keep saying!! Do you think I put a stamp on the envelope for my health?!

And, I can hear the sarcasm when I call people... "Well I booked a room so of course I'm coming"
well, send back your card!!!!

 

[FIREFLY01]

OH THIS IS THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE OF WEDDING PLANNING......

I had to call people to get answers and the responses i got fr people I swear, I got I didn't know I had to send that back (duh thats why theres a stamped envelope with it) I figured you just knew I was coming. oh my favorite : YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO RSVP IF YOUR NOT COMING... yeah ok..
good luck, my moh dealt with this with shower also....
Iswear no one has courtesy or etiquette anymore.....

 

[jennifaerie]

OMG - yes! One of our guests was even heard to say, "Oh, RSVP cards are just a formality!"

... So they think I spent $$$ on return postage just to make the RSVP envelopes look pretty?

I remember when you wrote about that in your journal, and I thought, How could anyone do that?!

Then my mom said, You don't expect me to mail the RSVP, do you?

I said, There's a stamp on that envelope, isn't there?

She wanted to keep the stamp.

 

[JonetteA]

We ended up calling everyone. I know your frustration. Just hang in there some people think that you should know that it is a given that you know that they are coming. If there are too many for you to call have your parents and his parents split the list with you!

 

[Donald'sGirl]

Ok so with the issue at hand and the end result is having to call 1/2 your guests to see if they are or are not coming, has anyone put RSVP to a phone number and or email address? Would this not be proper or following etiquette rules?

 

[Ember]

Ok so with the issue at hand and the end result is having to call 1/2 your guests to see if they are or are not coming, has anyone put RSVP to a phone number and or email address? Would this not be proper or following etiquette rules?

Putting a phone number or e-mail would indicate a less formal event, but there's no etiquette rules about it.

My best friend did e-mail RSVP's. Sadly, she STILL had to call people... So I don't think it's a fool proof method either...

 

[Donald'sGirl]

Putting a phone number or e-mail would indicate a less formal event, but there's no etiquette rules about it.

My best friend did e-mail RSVP's. Sadly, she STILL had to call people... So I don't think it's a fool proof method either...

Ohhh..ok. I was just a thought. I was going to RSVP cards w/envelopes but I was curious to see if anyone had done it. Thanks!

 

[wendy46001]

I had the same issue,
started telling people i wanted all the cards for my scrapbook so they'd send them in....DH's family was the worst, had to call everyone of them,
Guess they just don’t RSVP in that family

 

[jessesgirl-080708]

I am having the same problem. My counts and payments are due only a few days after yours.. and the only RSVPs I have gotten back are from the people I knew were coming..

DF's family is really the worst..I can agree. Only one person from his side has sent the card back!! I don't know whats going on..
My plan is to make DF call all his people and confirm that they will or will not be there!

 

[Keira1387]

I am having the same problem. My counts and payments are due only a few days after yours.. and the only RSVPs I have gotten back are from the people I knew were coming..

DF's family is really the worst..I can agree. Only one person from his side has sent the card back!! I don't know whats going on..
My plan is to make DF call all his people and confirm that they will or will not be there!

That's my thinking exactly!! I'm going to hand him the list of people on his side, and let him call. The family on my side that haven't RSVP'd pretty much have all booked rooms. No one on his side beside his mom is staying. So we'll see.

Is it ok to call people even though my RSVP by date is next Saturday? Or do I need to wait until that date passes?

 

[jessesgirl-080708]

It's up to you. I have a pretty good idea as to who is and who is not coming, so I will most likely wait until a few days after. I requested mine back July 8th, so we still have some time..
DF's grandmother is really kicking her feet. Each week she changes her mind about whether or not she is coming.. usually blaming it on her 6 poodles... but I will know for sure July 8th....

I also, without thinking.. requested my RSVP's back the same day everything is due at Disney, so my numbers will be a guesstimate...

Hopefully I'll get a few more.. the only one on DF's side that sent theirs back is his Grandmother.. (the other one) I haven't even got one back from his Mother yet!!!

 

[jnale]

I'm having a similar issue myself. I'm not at the invitation point yet but I sent out surveys last month to get an idea of how many people were planning on coming and I even put stamps on them and everything. In fact I spent $84 on stamps to send the survey to them and for the return postage.

I sent out 93 surveys and I only got back 35. Pathetic.

If this is any indication of how my invitations and RSVPs will go I'm definitely planning on making some phone calls.

Some people...

 

[InstImpres]

one suggestion for those that haven't done their rsvp cards yet...if your ideal rsvp date is the beginning of a month, move it up a few days, so it is the end of the previous month.

So, if you want RSVPs on September 5, write August 28. This way, when people put it away to "deal with later" August sticks in their mind not September. If they are thinking September, they will usually be the late ones.

JMH