Do/did you raise your kids to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir?"

[MinnieM3]

ABsolutely! Gotta say yes ma'm and yes sir or no ma'm and no sir. Most importantly to adults that they don't know..... (like salesclerks, etc.).... and second most importantly (i know it's weird)...to adult relatives..... least importantly (but sitll important!) to DH and me. A polite and respectful yes (not yea) or no or no thank you suffices for us.

 

[Southern4sure]

Manners are VERY important to me and VERY important for me to teach to my daughter. But don't you dare suggest that my daughter has no manners because she doesn't say "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am"... Just because it is considered polite in the south doesn't mean it's considered polite everywhere. It works in the south. Great. But don't come preaching to me about morals and manners just because things are done a little differently.

Ok, let me try to explain southern language...(it really can get us in trouble at times). To me when I say manners I mean the yes/no sir/ma'am, thank you stuff the OP originally stated. We all know manners are more than just this right? Like elbows off the table while eating or excuse me or please and etc these are all manners. But in generally speaking southern language, manners basically means yes/no sir/ma'am.

Im not touching the morals issue, what is right for you may not be right for me and vice versa....

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

it's astounding to me that this would even be a question . In my vocabulary sir/ma'am is used for EVERY person whose name I don't know, whether they're 8 or 80. I was most definitely raised to call my elders ma'am & sir and would NEVER have called a friend's parent by their first name ( an example, I've been best friends with someone for 13 years and I still call her mom ma'am when I see her, not Mrs. X and certainly not Karen).

I have a customer at work who I see several times a week, she's in her early 70's and keeps telling me to call her by her first name, but nope, she will always be Mrs. K____ and when she asks a question I answer it with "yes ma'am." drives her nusts, but that's just me. Hopefully my neice will show the same respect to others.

 

[aprilgail2]

I have a customer at work who I see several times a week, she's in her early 70's and keeps telling me to call her by her first name, but nope, she will always be Mrs. K____ and when she asks a question I answer it with "yes ma'am." drives her nusts, but that's just me. Hopefully my neice will show the same respect to others.

To me that is being TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL!! When someone request you call them something other than what you are calling them and you don't respect their wishes that is being very disrespectful. I HATE being called ma'am and Mrs...and Miss....I like my name and I like my friends, my daughters friends etc to call me that! It took a month or so but her teacher last year finally started calling me by my first name like I asked her to and in return she asked I call her by her first name...which was fine with me....

 

[JuliaEeyore]

Just because it is considered polite in the south doesn't mean it's considered polite everywhere. It works in the south. Great. But don't come preaching to me about morals and manners just because things are done a little differently.

I agree. Very much so. It's different up he'ah. But I'm still classy and polite.

 

[jrydberg]

Ok, let me try to explain southern language...(it really can get us in trouble at times). To me when I say manners I mean the yes/no sir/ma'am, thank you stuff the OP originally stated. We all know manners are more than just this right? Like elbows off the table while eating or excuse me or please and etc these are all manners. But in generally speaking southern language, manners basically means yes/no sir/ma'am.

Im not touching the morals issue, what is right for you may not be right for me and vice versa....

I appreciate the explanation, but let me elaborate (this isn't directed at you, I think you've provided excellent info in a respecful manner).

That's considered manners in the south. Fine. But in other areas of the country, it's not. Manners are not *just* "more than that" -- they don't include that in other areas.

And I find it extremely offensive for someone to suggest that I'm not raising my daughter to have manners just because I'm not teaching her to say "Yes, sir/ma'am"...

Were I still living in Alabama, I'd certainly teach her to do so -- because that's just the way it's done in Alabama. But that's not the case here, nor is it the case where I grew up.

 

[monarchsfan16]

This question is bugging me. Aside from it being polite in the south why would you want your kids calling you ma'am or sir? Why wouldn't you want to be called mom or dad? I'm not a mom yet (and don't plan to ever be) but if I was a mom I'd sure as heck want to be called mom. Mom's an amazingly special title. I guess it's my Yankee stupidity or something but I just can't comprehend that one. Ma'am and sir seem so impersonal. Mom and dad are the people who bring you into this world and who are so special to you (hopefully). Why use an impersonal title for them?

 

[chadfromdallas]

I never thought this was a regional thing until I read this thread. I've talked to plenty of people from the East Coast to the West without it being an issue. To be honest, most of the women adore it.

 

[aprilgail2]

This question is bugging me. Aside from it being polite in the south why would you want your kids calling you ma'am or sir? Why wouldn't you want to be called mom or dad? I'm not a mom yet (and don't plan to ever be) but if I was a mom I'd sure as heck want to be called mom. Mom's an amazingly special title. I guess it's my Yankee stupidity or something but I just can't comprehend that one. Ma'am and sir seem so impersonal. Mom and dad are the people who bring you into this world and who are so special to you (hopefully). Why use an impersonal title for them?

I agree.....mom is a much more loving title for me to be called...if she called me "yes ma'am" I would feel like a drill sergeant at boot camp rather than a loving parent.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I never thought this was a regional thing until I read this thread. I've talked to plenty of people from the East Coast to the West without it being an issue. To be honest, most of the women adore it.

Like I said,I don't like it.. It's for old people where I come from..I call elderly people Maam

 

[chadfromdallas]

Why use an impersonal title for them?

Its out of respect

"Chad, could you go grab the paper for me please?"

"Yes, ma'am"

Definition:
ma'am - a woman of refinement

 

[luvmydogs]

Oh, my. Honestly, having been a northerner and now a southerner, it's not about who is more respectful than whom. So much of it is just a regional thing--a lot like using "y'all" (for which as long as I live here, will never sound right coming out of my mouth!) and "you guys." I've been told more than once that saying "you guys" in the south is considered rude, but it's just how I and everyone around me spoke for as long as I lived there.

I do believe that *none* of us are better parents for teaching ma'am and sir, Mr. or Mrs. or whatever--the use of coloquialisms are not necessarily an indicator of parental accountability! I think this thread indicates that no matter what verbage we use, the majority of us out there are trying to raise polite, well-mannered children, and I just don't want to see this denegrate into a thread of misinterpertations and hurt feelings--I'm sure that's not what the OP intended.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

To be honest, most of the women adore it.

I teared up when I got my first "ma'am." I hate it.

 

[chadfromdallas]

I teared up when I got my first "ma'am." I hate it.

I don't know how you could find that offense. This is to you, too JennyMominRI.

By definition, its a compliment...maybe a nice read of the dictionary is in order?

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't know how you could find that offense. This is to you, too JennyMominRI.

By definition, its a compliment...maybe a nice read of the dictionary is in order?

Makes me feel like a 90 year old great grandma when people call me that....I am NOT old enough to be a Ma'am! It always sounds sarcastic to me when someone calls me ma'am!

 

[JennyMominRI]

I don't know how you could find that offense. This is to you, too JennyMominRI.

By definition, its a compliment...maybe a nice read of the dictionary is in order?

I'm not offended,and actually,If it came froma southerner,I wouldn't be bothered..Coming from a Yankee,it's crap,I'm old

 

[MinnieM21]

To be honest, most of the women adore it.

Just never call me that.

 

[txSleepingBeauty]

To me that is being TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL!! When someone request you call them something other than what you are calling them and you don't respect their wishes that is being very disrespectful. I HATE being called ma'am and Mrs...and Miss....I like my name and I like my friends, my daughters friends etc to call me that! It took a month or so but her teacher last year finally started calling me by my first name like I asked her to and in return she asked I call her by her first name...which was fine with me....

I understand why you feel that way, but there is no way on god's green earth I would ever call this women Barbra, first she's not just my elder, but significantly older than me, second she's a customer, to me calling her by her first name would be incredibly rude, as I've told her several times already. It bothered me at Disney that I was supposed to call comeplete strangers by their first name, just seems so rude and disrespectful to me. different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

[chadfromdallas]

Makes me feel like a 90 year old great grandma when people call me that....I am NOT old enough to be a Ma'am! It always sounds sarcastic to me when someone calls me ma'am!

Well, like it or not, you are old to some folks but that isn't the point. Its not in any way meant to be an insult. You just don't understand the meaning of it

 

[chadfromdallas]

Just never call me that.

Yes, ma'am