Do/did you raise your kids to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir?"

[Pin Wizard]

I doesn't "sound" nice at all...phonetically. "Sir" is okay. "Ma'am" is not. Maybe it makes me thing of my grandmother...gram! Gram = old. LOL! Call me Mrs.

 

[RadioNate]

Why? Its a term of respect. The only two dictionary definitions I could find are

1) Used as a form of polite address for a woman
2) a woman of refinement

How could that be seen as insulting?

I'm someone who said I see it as disrespectful and for me it is because of how we used it growing up. I NEVER used it out of respect. I only used it when I thought my parents or other adults were being disrespectful and demeaning to me.

It is very hard for me to put into words. For me I always used it in anger and a snide smerk while thinking 'you jerk.'

monarch16 used a good term...it was 'fresh.' I used it when I was being 'fresh' with my parents or teachers. Saying "yes ma'am" was sassy and a smart-alek remark.

So when kids say it to me I see it as them sassing me rather than respecting me.

 

[nativetxn]

I raised Travis to say yes ma'am and yes sir. That's how I was raised.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Why? Its a term of respect. The only two dictionary definitions I could find are

1) Used as a form of polite address for a woman
2) a woman of refinement

How could that be seen as insulting?

For me,I see it as Old..... For years I got called Miss at the store...One day it bacame Ma'am,And I was like,darn it,Does this mean I'm old now.. They call my mother Ma'am

 

[Pin Wizard]

Have to agree with you on that also, RadioNate. As a kid, it was in a snotty, snippy way with mom...Yes, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! It wasn't a nice way of using it.

 

[LisaInNc]

We are working on that right now. I have a DD who is 4 and I am from the north and I was no raised to say it. My new DH is from the south, we also live in a small southern town and it would be considered rude for her not to say it. Since she is starting school soon I figured that I better get her used to it.

I can't see that extra manners are ever a bad thing.

Lisa

 

[Pin Wizard]

The first time I got it was on line to pay for things at Publix. Must have been a teeny bopper behind the register that said thank-you, ma'am. I about fell on the floor. I'm not old enough to be referred to as ma'am! It's an "old" thing!

For me,I see it as Old..... For years I got called Miss at the store...One day it bacame Ma'am,And I was like,darn it,Does this mean I'm old now.. They call my mother Ma'am

 

[Griggle]

Well, apparently I am in the VAST minority, but I was born and raised in a very northern state, and my brother and I were taught "Yes/No, Ma'am" and "Yes/No, Sir". It was what we were expected to respond with when given a directive or asked for our attention by our parents or any other adult. It never caused me to fear any adults, and I do not recall any time when we used it sarcastically except with each other, when one of us would get a bit bossy ( )

I ceased using it to address adults when I became an adult. Except for Mom and Dad. They still get sir and ma'am when the occasion is appropriate.

I'm with you
Born and breed in Jersey - as were my mother and father - whose parents were immigrants - and Yes/No Sir and Yes/No Ma'm were definately a part of our upbringing. If I'm speaking to someone older than myself, I still use it.

On those occassions when "YEAH" slipped out to mom's call.....dad was there with his gentle reminder: "We brought you up, not dragged you up, young lady."

When I got married, instead of Daddy's Little Girl, we danced to "To Sir, with Love".....

I'll definately pass it, and if need be, my father's words of wisdom, forward.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I was born and raised in NJ. Left at 29. Never raised with either term.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

Born in Rhode Island and raised in Connecticut... never used or was instructed to use ma'am or sir. Don't recall any of my young peers using them either...

We always used Mr./Mrs... but honestly (I'm 28 now) among ALL of my childhood friends from childhood thru high school into college to now, we were always encouraged to call our friends parents' by their first names, BY the parents themselves! It always freaks me out when I hear someone call my mom by Mrs. LastName... I guess I grew up and still live in a very relaxed part of New England????

I call my in-laws by their first names... my aunts and uncles by their first names, never Aunt So-and-So. And certainly never Ma'am. Funny!

 

[C.Ann]

I love it! I think it's quite charming..

 

[chadfromdallas]

Not a parent here, but my mother and father raised me to use it. Its become one of those habits like turning on my blinker. I also open doors and such...I'm your average charming southerner with great manners

 

[transparant]

Not a parent here, but my mother and father raised me to use it. Its become one of those habits like turning on my blinker. I also open doors and such...I'm your average charming southerner with great manners

 

[chadfromdallas]

Yup

 

[Stacey2grls]

Being from NY, this question might not apply to me, but, I do believe manners are extremely important. It is often something that parents tend to overlook nowadays. Even though I wasn't raised with great manners, I try very hard to raise my girls with respect for their elders, family, friends, and most importantly themselves!

 

[callahanjulie10]

Yes, my DH and I have raised our DD-13 to have manners in every aspect. It is amazing how many compliments she gets. It is a sad time when people do not believe that manners are important. Just goes along with morals....

 

[JuliaEeyore]

It is amazing how many compliments she gets. It is a sad time when people do not believe that manners are important. Just goes along with morals....

I'm slightly regretting posting that I never use/used ma'am or sir. I've never once considered myself one without manners. And I certainly have MORALS. I'm a kind, respectful person. And was an incredibly respectful child as well. It just wasn't something common up here, in our area.

It's a bit of a broad generalization to make, to say that just because all children do not use "ma'am" they do not have manners. If I had children right now, I would not be inclined to teach them to use that word, as it is a bit foreign. But you can BET I'd instill good manners. Absolutely!! Mr., Mrs., Please, Thank You... among others.

It must be a regional thing.

 

[Aidensmom]

The first time I got it was on line to pay for things at Publix. Must have been a teeny bopper behind the register that said thank-you, ma'am. I about fell on the floor. I'm not old enough to be referred to as ma'am! It's an "old" thing!

I think that Publix tells their cashiers to call people ma'am and sir. I really cannot recall a time I have been there and was not called ma'am. I use the term myself regularly, but I will admit it is a little strange to hear a 16 year old say to you when you are buying a bottle of wine, "Can I please see your ID ma'am"!

 

[Renysmom]

I was raised in the north and raised my kids in the south.. They ABSOLUTELY had to say it, as a matter of fact if the forgot I kept saying excuse me until they did.. It is a manner of respect for me.. Maybe its the Marine Corps kid in me (dad was an officer) but there were certain things that were not negotiable with my kids and manners were one of them.. I always said that I wasn't sure where or what their future brought but they would have manners. They are young adults now and they have always had great manners and I can't count how many compliments I have received over the years about their manners.

 

[jrydberg]

Yes, my DH and I have raised our DD-13 to have manners in every aspect. It is amazing how many compliments she gets. It is a sad time when people do not believe that manners are important. Just goes along with morals....

Manners are VERY important to me and VERY important for me to teach to my daughter. But don't you dare suggest that my daughter has no manners because she doesn't say "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma'am"... Just because it is considered polite in the south doesn't mean it's considered polite everywhere. It works in the south. Great. But don't come preaching to me about morals and manners just because things are done a little differently.